The Unknown

You would never know walking past me.

 

You would never suspect talking to me.

 

You would never know that my laughter keeps me from screaming

 

Oh and that smile you love so much? It helps me from going insane

 

I walk past you smiling and giving you the support to get through your day

 

But I bet you don’t know that as I smile my insides are twisting with self-hate

 

With disgust and with emptiness

 

How can this be?

 

Maybe I feel so empty because I skip my meals?

 

Maybe it is my daily ritual featuring my fingers and the lovely toilet

 

You would never know that though

 

Because to you I am okay

 

To you nothing could ever be wrong with me

 

BECAUSE TO YOU I AM OKAY

 

This is not okay

 

I suffocate myself everyday to be okay for you

 

Because my happiness and ability to be okay is what keeps you going

 

How could I be so selfish and ask for help?

 

My illness and darkness is unknown territory that you choose to ignore

 

I will not be okay

 

Until you learn to love the unknown

 

Until you learn to love me

This poem is about: 
Me
My family

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