An Unknown Affliction
Locations
360 joints in the human body
Approximately 642 muscles
They’re supposed to work together
Make you move in sync
With your mind
With your will
Do whatever you think
Ought to be done
A high five
A jump
A spin
A dance
But for me
It’s all just left to chance
It might work this time
I might do what I want
But most of the time
It’s pop pop pop
Out they go
When they’ll stop
No one knows
They push and tear
And pull and rip
The people stare
They all give tips
You’re not my doctor
I’m not your show
Even those with degrees
Never seem to know
They’ll poke and prod
They’ll test and test
They’ll curse my God
Leave me with this mess
There are no answers
There is no cause
Say goodbye to life
Take a two week pause
You scare us
You baffle us
You confuse
You concern
We don’t understand
This thing you've got
This isn’t something we’ve learned
Nothing’s ever been said
So it’s all in your head
Psychosomatic
Don’t be so dramatic
Get up walk around
There’s no illness we’ve found
So I’m the girl who walks slow on the stairs
I look like I’m fine
But I can’t carry my books
Can’t run
Can’t dance
Or jump
Or rearrange the furniture with you if you need help
Because if I tried my joints would dislocate
My muscles would shake
My body would break
I’m only eighteen
I swear it
It’s true
But my body likes to disagree with me
On the outside I’m a poor broken girl
It’s confusing to you because there is no cast
No scar
No rash
No big scary name
It’s scary to me because there is no cure
No knowledge
No studies
No, not even a name
Just the pain
Just the pain
Just the pain
To the world it may seem I’m a poor broken girl
Lies. Lies. Lies.
Why do you torment me so?
This body may be broken,
But the girl, she is whole!
She is filled and complete
With a beautiful life
This broken appearance
Of terrible strife
Is just a mere casing
For a brilliant joy
An overflow of grace
A marvelous creation
A source of peace in a place
Where so many are lost
So please let me explain
Yes I know there’s the pain
You don’t want me to feel
You want me to be safe
You want me to heal
But it will be around for my entire life
There will be days when I can’t walk
Can’t move my arms
Can’t get out of bed
But if pain is what I get
Every
Single
Day
No matter what I do
I’d rather take more
And laugh
And sing
And try my best to dance in the moments of relief
Than to suffer the grief
Of laying in bed in a little less pain
And watching life pass me by
Without an ounce of gain
I’d rather have a clear mind
And suffer and cry and be sore
Than intoxicate myself with
Muscle relaxers
Vicodin
Morphine
Gabapentin
And more
And feel my mind slip away
And my body go numb
I don't want to sit out
I'm not afraid of the price I must pay
To get up and push through
And to live a true life
Because the consequences of living
Are a price I can't beat
When compared to the bedridden life
Reccomended to me