In health class we talked of suicide and depression.

There are so many similarities between me and this topic that are unnoticed.

I’m so scared, but I don’t know how to get help.

 

There’s something wrong with me deep inside;

And it can’t be fixed because it’s rooted too damn deep.

I don’t see a solution for anything.

 

It seems that people are always staring towards me.

So then I wonder; what’s the matter with me.

I hear my name in their sentences.

They talk behind my back.

They laugh at my face as I pass.

 

I smile though I want to cry.

I don’t share these problems with my friends.

I couldn’t burden them with my distress.

 

They may truly think that I’m fine.

I lie to their faces, laughing while saying “I’m fine”.

I go home and take some pills with an alcoholic drink.

I take the blade from where it’s hidden.

I side it slowly and smoothly along my pale skin.

 

Why does this pain matter, it only distracts from the real pain within.

I think of the thoughts from yesterdays.

They make me feel frozen and cold to the bone.

I cut only deeper and feel only more.

But still, these emotions aren’t enough to fill my void.

 

I shatter and break, though only I am aware.

Why isn’t anyone listening?

Can you not hear my screams?

Can you not hear my constant pleas; can you not hear the yelling from me?

 

Can you not see the bruising and cuts, along with the scars that are masked?

Can you not notice the silence from my lips?

Can you not see my tiredness from lack of sleep?

Can you not see that I’ve pushed everyone further away?

Can you not realize that if you would listen, I’d have so much to say?

 

Have you noticed anything new; have you noticed the missing things too?

I don’t talk or smile; I’ve stopped playing my perfect role.

I think of pain everyday; seeing blood in my visions and death in my dreams.

In class I have no clue; in halls and at lunch I’m trapped in my head.

 

Can’t you see that something is wrong?

Please, just notice!

Please, save me!