"Unsolved: Myself"

Location

Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania
United States

The deep, agonizing thoughts swarm  around my head as if they are bees.
The dark memories cloud my brain to the core, keeping me from seeing the reality around me.
Happiness seems impossible to find, but somewhere within my emotions, it remains dormant, only to be awoken by the sense of life that seems to feed my once starved soul.

I do all it takes to escape my asylum of self hatred.
I do my best to break free from the strait-jacket of negativity that restrains me each day. 

Yet, I am still a cluster of ignorance and irrational rage.
I feel as though I meet not even my own expectations.

I strive to be only the best...
I force myself to admit my mistakes, no matter how hard it may be. 

I promise to be as perfect as I possibly can. 

My body is not one of a goddess...
My heart is not one of gold...
My conscience is slowly falling to pieces and crashing down around itself... 

The darkness of my past fills my body like a never ending flood.
My brain swells with anxieties of every aspect.

I weep from the dread and despair caused by  my own mental impairments.
I cage the beast for as long as I can, but eventually, it breaks free... Only to be recaptured soon after. 

I am a problem; a problem with many answers.
A labyrinth of self pity and horrific thoughts...

Perhaps I should just be left unsolved...

 

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