UnSpoken

You deceive me.

You allude to all my thoughts

You rob what you want from my mind

And never apologize.

 

You take what you want

And never give it back.

 

Thank God you’re only a piece of my mind.

A memory.

A dream.

That haunts me every single time I close my eyes.

 

Memories of what used to be.

Visions of what I want it to become.

Dreams merging the two together seamlessly.

 

I dream things that I know would never happen

Even if you were to be here.

 

Dreams of..

Dreams of us.

Of me

And of you.

Together.

 

And

And we’re happy.

Together.

 

I can physically feel you sometimes.

These dreams.

I can feel you wrap your arms around me.

I can feel your heart beat under my ear.

I can feel your warmth

I can feel

 

These feelings aren’t supposed to be real.

These dreams.

These dreams are just too much.

 

When I awaken in my dream,

Your brightness fills my sky so bright

I can barely see where I stand.

 

I can breathe in your scent.

 

I can drink in your warmth.


 

And you.

You know it all.

You know I can feel you

Smell you

Touch you.

 

Until I Awaken.

 

And then I realize.

 

It’s just me.

 

In my solitude.

 

Staring into my own soul reflected straight back to you.

Feeling that deceiving warm bright breeze hit my skin,

I can still feel you

Everywhere I go.

 

I shut my eyes,

I try to summon the vivid dream I had of you.

Rocking me back and forth in your strong arms.

 

Kissing me.

Hushing me.

Caring for me.

 

Loving me.

 

And I fall.

Every time I fall.

 

Back into the state of awareness.

That you are not here with me.

That you haven’t held me.

Kissed me.

Hushed me.

Loved me.

 

At all.

 

I need my heart to stop hurting.

Stop tearing at my heart.

 

My blood is dripping tears from my twisting heart.

 

You never call.

I never answer.

 

You will never hold me.

I will never be held by you.

 

You will never know

Just how deep this cut runs.

 

Not many days of knowing you and

 

I already know I may be like this for the rest of my life.

 

A handful of times

I have wanted to see you

So badly

My brain conjures you

And forms you

In front of my eyes.

 

I don’t think

Anybody will ever know

Just how deep

This cut runs.

 

How hard my heart bleeds unshed tears.

How far I’d go

Just to hear your voice

Just one more time.

 

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