Untitled Poem (written Jan. 17, 2014)

I don't really have much to say,

but I know I gave my life away

the day I gave into opposition.

I screwed my life with that one decision.

 

I've cried and cried my pain away,

but I still live with that constant reminder every day.

That I'm a fucking screw-up, I've heard it quite a few times,

It's only fair considering my myriad past crimes.

I'm all full of lies, and meant for the flies.

It's just about the time that I think I should die

 

The first time I figured it out is when I wanted to push my friend off the mountain

Just to hear his bones crack, and see his blood pour out like a fountain

Something inside had awarded me

It's safe to say it was because of my inappropriate poltroonery

And after that despicable action, and my adrenaline rose

I lied about it to the cops with an unreadable prose

But that's when my sanity arose from its dormant sleep

And that evil enshrouding me returned to the abyss in myself that was ever so deep

 

Well look what this world has done to my brain,

you surely don't think this is the thinking of a person that's sane?

Do you? I know there's something wrong with me

so I took a test, said I was schizophrenic that's a possibility.

Since all this started with something that the voices said to me.

They drove me to insanity,

so I hacked that man, and hacked and hacked till there was no blood to left to bleed.

 

But the shit that I've done, I've got two strikes on one

Life, Leads me to believe, in what I can't perceive.

And now I sit in jail while telling you quite a tale.

Before I tie my noose,

and finally let all these thoughts and feelings loose.

And a single voice tells me I've done good.

It's the voice that told me to kill him, the one that made me believe that I could

 

Comments

edwards18t

Heavy stuff! I challenge you to not bind yourself to rhyme scheme and 

extremely specific words, but try to abstract the concept more. It's fun to 

explore that kind of writing. I like your poem because it sounds 

like it came straight from your brain and onto the page, and it 

feels unsettling and uncomfortable to read. Good work!

Enigmatic Pariah

Greetings, 

 

I really appreciate you reading and commenting on my poem. 

I wrote this poem about four years ago, and decided to post it onto this site as

a way of documenting my progression as a poet. I appreciate your comment, 

and wholeheartedly agree with it. I believe that four years ago, my concept of poetry

was confined to "make as many words rhyme as possible, while using specifically large words

in an attempt to sound intelligent" (this prototypical notion

of poetry was very restricitve. To this day, I try to dabble more with the more abstract

forms of poetry, but still try to implement rhymes here and there). I wrote this poem, 

I believe in a burst of poetic "inspiration." So, your observation was quite astute. 

 

If you could, would you mind looking at my more recent works, 

(of course they still have their flaws, but I'd like to think I've improved)

in particular, the poem titled, "The problems with Humanity"? I would love to 

recieve more critique of my work. 

 

Arlea

hey there,

your poem literally forced me to watch someone's life story, and made me believe it! it's incredible. I feel like i've just come out of a really intense sad movie. for a novice like me, it's amazing to see where people can get to :D 

Enigmatic Pariah

Hello there,

Thank you for your kind words. I greatly appreciate them:

Your positive reception of this work of mine, moves me.

I can't say that I'm any less of a novice than you are, though.

Poetry is a process, we all have yet to reach the finish line: if one even exists.

 

Keep pushing onward. I wish you the best.

E.P.

 

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