I cannot just unpack, distract, extract my feelings.
Help mother, help me!
I call, but I do not call all at once.
Signs of my pain were given but not noticed.
She finally opened her eyes when I was on the verge.
I had everything planned out to escape.
Escape the cruel world that once was good to me.
My heart was like a dead sea, carrying problems everywhere I went.
She asked me why
But I didn’t know.
There simply isn’t one exact reason.
Why do I cry?
How did I get this low?
Every night my body commits treason
I do not want to feel this way, my body simply chooses to.
I try and fight, like the warrior I’m supposed to be
Yet my soul stays blue,
Nothing can save me.
I do as the doctors say
Just to see if the voices go away.
You’re worthless, never good enough, different, insignificant.
Does life ever go my way?
Another bad day, brilliant.
Just another reason to leave.
a nurse sees my scars
she tells me “the world is very cruel, life is tough but you need to keep going.”
The sincerity, kindness and non-judgment in her voice,
Made me believe.
Thinking back, I’m grateful for all the hardships in life.
I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for that human being, I wouldn’t be here.
Others ignored the signs or didn’t want to deal with it
But she took her time to say those life-changing words to me.
And I am grateful.