When I was four

dad died

Ten years later

mom and I

finally visited

the grave

When we couldn’t find it

I thought it was a sign

he had come back

to life

L’chaim

Sometimes I have dreams that he's alive

It’s crazy

I picture us sitting at the table

Eating dinner

Sharing stories

Am I laughing?

Hours later

we found the stone

The inscription read

"Stuart Satosky, Beloved Husband, Son, and Father"

“I wish you saw me grow up”

I said

“You’d be proud of the kids”

mom said.

“Proud of me”

I placed a gray rock on the monument

hugged the gravestone

and cried

I don't like to talk about things

When those gates are opened

they're hard to close