Screaming. Arguments. Anger. Depression. Crying. Regret.

I’m suffocating. The voices, inside and out, strangle me.

Everybody complains I don’t listen to them, they’re trying to help.

Somehow I only hear the voices in my head.

They scream, everything is wrong! The pain doesn’t go away, no matter what.

All the emotions are trapped, no place to go but in circles, I stumble from dizziness.

They don’t stop, they never end. More arguments. More screaming. Depression, surrounds me.

No end to the madness, no hope, no dreams. No sanity.

Only chaos. Only fear. Only nightmares.

It’s too much. I can’t handle this, I can’t feel anymore.

I can’t hear my own thoughts.

 

Headphones. There they are.

The hope? Is there any left?

I let the sound engulf me as I drown in the music. Bathing in this beauty.

As the voices grow stronger, the music gets louder. The music screaming back at the voices.

Music forces the chaos out, forces the voices to leave, to finally shut up.

Forcing me to concentrate on the soothing rhythm.

The sombering song serenades me.

Marvelous melodies putting me in muse.

Intense guitar, hard beat of the drum, the noise. The beautiful noise.

Blocking out all the terrible, tempting voices.

The music is what saves me.

 

Taking my mind to a place indescribable. Putting my mind at ease.

Arguments settle, crying and worrying stops. Anger and screaming calms.

At rest for a moment. At ease and peace for a split second.

A song, an album, a playlist, whatever it takes.

A certain song, certain beat, certain voice is all it can take, for my mind to click.

The next part is magical. Pain is gone, I’m numb. I’m happy.

No crying, no tears, no stress, no voices..

Not a care in the world! As long as the music plays.

 

When I dance, I dance as if there’s no one there. And there isn’t. Nobody’s in my head.

I write of happiness, hope, I sing loudly with confidence.

I’m drenched, in happiness, ridden of sorrow. Amazing.

I sing along, dance to the beat. I just feel the music pulsating through my body.

And I laugh. I laugh as if I’m at a comedy club, as if I’ve never laughed before.

When the music stops, reality has to set in.

The voices are no longer the same, they sing the joyous tunes.

All I can hear is the music, still playing. Still keeping away the pessimistic voices.

I can’t hear anything else, I choose not to.

I go about, playing the music in my head, on a track.

Depression doesn’t come back, not for a little while atleast.