To Want

In my youth

I was a witch

Upon my rib a scar

And in my hands

I held a bird

A precious azure star

 

If only to fly

I could have known grace

But such was not mine to share

So with envious hands

I spread his wings, broke them,

And left him laying there

 

“Do you bleed?”

I asked the bird

“Do you feel as I do?

I’ve suffered idleness

And so I must tell you

Of the dreams I have of endless seas

And of temples vandalized.

My love for you undying,

Yet still away you fly.

The sky may welcome you,

But my words a tempest make.

I will cage you in my chest

For I have no heart to break.”

 

If only he bled

I would feel alive

But his life was not mine to take

He dreamed my dreams

And in sleep he walked

To drown himself in the lake

 

In my heart

There was a mouth

A hungry thing, a pit

Deep within

Was built a nest

And white bones lay in it

 

To fill the hole

I would seat something new

Where a bird once made his nest

So I climbed the mountain,

Gave him sacrifice,

And clung to his rocky breast

 

“Do you speak?”

I asked the mountain,

“Do you feel as I do?

Every drop of sweat

Was to be worthy of you.

Though I still have fear of falling

And being blinded by the sun,

I want only for my devotion

To set loose your crystal tongue.

My words are to you unmoving

For your roots run far too deep.

Without the strength to crush you,

You’ll dissolve in tears I weep.”

 

If only he spoke

I would be made whole

But his stones were not mine to break

He fell into my tears

And in silence was carried

Through the streams that fed the lake

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