Wars Between Monsters

The monster isn’t under your bed or in your closet anymore

but reidentified as savage thoughts and emotions

monsters, like enemies, fighting an infinite war in your head

a war that turns your world upside down.

Not only turning your world but grabbing your soul and demolishing it

not a peaceful departure but destructive, an insightful hell if you will

misunderstood by many and overlooked by others.

Never an opportunity to empathise the situation of war with a soldier withheld in it.

Gut wrenching, teeth gritting, fierce crying, breathless pain.

thinking of only the worse, not a single way out

but do things really get better in the end or is all just a retold lie

a lie to try and convince you to attempt the plunge in a trap of even more pain

Adrenaline pumping, over thinking, why does god give me this path

everyone always says he has a plan

that he never wants you to get hurt

but hurt has well been reached.

if he wants you to go to heaven

then why does he put you through a never ending hell

sinning your way to the next path

but to me the hell brought, is a sin on his own part.

It is not as easy as everybody says

they don’t understand that you can’t just forget about it and calm down

huh if only it was that easy.

anxiety, panic rattling bones to test the limits.

panic ,attacking your guard which was put down long ago

eventfully eating away all the filling, depression finishing the scraps

not even a struggle to end the character you once were,

quickly finished with one and onto another

The leading monster is my shadow

always glued to me, except at night

when not even the deepest of sleep can take the pain away

but saying i’m falling apart is an understatement

maybe things would be easier if there weren’t a shadow

cause if the object of the shadow no longer exists

then the shadow would not exist

so what better then get rid of that object

this object being skin and bones reeking of depression

is perfumed with a fake smile to temporarily mask the genuinity that once was

so lets play a game

what miracle could make this object disappear  

It’s a trick question..nothing

 

This poem is about: 
Me
My family

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