The way I feel

I'm angry. My body aches, I've made mistakes, I've done no wrong, I can't be strong, no not anymore. I'm confused. So many choices and so many voices. Where do I go what do I do, I need a clue what do I do. I'm sad I try so hard but I fall much harder. Which ways up? Which ways forward? I need to move I need to choose, improve. I'm bored, things, exciting things, "fun" things, joyful things are happening. I'm not a part of that, I'm not a part of anything. Or maybe I'm a apart of everything. I'm tired. What did I do today? I woke up and I cried. Ahh. Then I laughed. Hah. Then I sighed. Then went back to bed. Am I happy? Please say yes, please say yes. No. This is crappy. I'm angry again. Why am I so angry, I'm crying again. Why am I so crying? I've been lied to you know. By my mother long ago. When I was a child my mother said that I would grow up to be a weathermen or an anchormen. I still live at home, I've been moved with a comb to the basement. The gosh darn freaking basement. Replacement. They gosh darn freaking replaced me. I was loved, I was loved, and I loved back. What happened, what's wrong, this day has been to long. I'm going to bed, I need to rest my head. No my favorite color isn't red, it's green. It's gosh darn freaking green. I remember happiness. I remember happiness. I'm angry, confused, sad, and bored. I am also human and I don't know a human in this world who can't be restored. So when I go to bed I will go without hate in my head, without tears to be shed. With thoughts of life, love, and light. As I stare into the moonlight, I also stare into my soul, and into my past. I'm rewriting my life, I'm rewriting my life at last, and in the past it would have made me feel badly but it doesn't, this makes me ha, hap, happy. 

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