What am I thinking?

Thinking, thinking, what am I thinking?
I can feel my eyelids close as I continue blinking.

 

Thinking, thinking,
I feel like all my thoughts aren't syncing.

ticking ticking,
My head hurts from all the thinking.

No single thought flows,
It's like a rapid river that never slows.

I think way too much,
Should I even be thinking as such?

Cause the more I think the more I sink.

It's like the weight of my thoughts,
squash me like dots.

I travel from thought to thought,
leaving spaces in between like blind spots.

What am I going to do now?
Time has sure flown by, but how?

I remember when I was a first year,
it's been so long I feel my eyes tear.

Before they told me “Welcome to College.”
but now as I am older I don't get acknowledged.

What am I going to be in life?
Did I just grow up to be a wife?
Expected to make school lunches with a handy knife?

And then I think are they still going to prevent same-sex marriages?
Continue to cut it down like early like a miscarriages?

All of this thinking is making me stress,
If you look inside my head it's all a mess.

My hairs are falling out from the follicles,
I will be written as the bald lady in the articles.

Will I be able to find a job?
I can't take the thought as my heart throbs.

There is so many things I want to try,
but all of these choices are making me sigh,

Like being a singer,
to let my voice shout and linger.

Or to be a a world renowned chemist,
or find the philospher's stone and become an al-chemist?

I want to save all the animals and the generations,
prevent starvation and other worldly frustrations.

And then I hop thoughts,
tying along the way some tight knots.

Like how to cure cancer?
Are we ever going to find an answer?

Or how talk to that cute guy
grow up the courage & stop being shy.

I can keep going on forever
however. I'll stop now before I shout “whatever.”

Cause if I repeat what's inside my head
My mind will fill too much and make me dread.
Like too much nutella on my bread,

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