What Happened?

What happened to that little baby that gigged at the little things

What happened to that baby girl who smiled at her family

What happened to that little smile

That little laugh

That little baby with no pain at all

 

What happened to that happy child

The one that always laughed and smiled

What happened to that little girl that played hide and seek in the woods

What happened to that little girl who only cried over spilled milk

 

What happened to that seven year old

That one that was assaulted by her own cousin

The one who was told it was okay

The one who didn’t know it was wrong

She never told anyone

 

What happened to that little ten year old

Who smiled a little less

Who laughed a little and hurt a little more

What happened to that little ten year

What happened to that ten year old who cried cause of the boys at school

What happened to that ten year old that got bullied by the girls

 

What happened to that twelve year old that started to feel the pain

Her family was insane

Her heart was torn and broken apart

What happened to that twelve year old that began to cut her wrists and thighs

What happened to that twelve year old that didn’t eat anymore

 

What happened to that thirteen year old who finally told the truth

Told her mom the secret her cousin made her hold inside

The one that tore her to the bone

What happened to that thirteen year old that cried herself to sleep

 

What happened to that fifteen year old who barely spoke a word

Who had those deep scars she would not show

She knew she was different

Cause she thought of girls the way she’s supposed to think of boys

She cut and cut till blood poured out but she wouldn’t speak a word

She wouldn’t smile at all

 

What happened to that sixteen year old that had been to three different units

What happened to that sixteen year old who was finally locked away

She cried every night because of the shame

She was not in jail but it felt like a cell

She was locked away in treatment

What happened to that sixteen year old

 

What happened to that seventeen year old who felt like a round peg

A round peg trying to fit in a square hole

What happened, oh what happened

She is now in normal school

She still cries herself to sleep

But she won’t tell anyone the truth

 

You know how I’d know, because that girl is me

I still cut

I still never smile

I still never laugh

I still always cry myself to sleep

I never tell a soul

You know why,

Because I don’t know how to speak

I’ve been hiding for too long

So now I finally told the truth

Now it’s time to finally move on

This poem is about: 
Me

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