What If I died

Sometimes I wonder,
If I killed myself right now,
Would you even care?
Or would you blow me off like every other person.
If I killed myself right now,
Would you come to help me?
Or would you just stand there watching me?
I loved you,
But the question is,
Did you really love me?
Or was it all fake?
Was everything you ever said to me all a lie?
I wish you really did care,
But things worked out this way,
And now I wonder if there is anything else to live for.
You were everything to me,
My life,
My love,
My reason to live.
And now you’ve taken that from me.
So why should I even try?
Why must I think about you every second of the day?
You don’t love me?
So why must I do it?
The questions,
Oh the questions.
I have so many,
But still,
Though I realize you don’t love me,
I wonder if I killed myself this very second,
Would you kill yourself to be with me?
My live is a disaster now,
Why did you have to go and break my heart?
But after all these questions,
About what if I died right now,
What would you do,
I need to find out.
I’m sorry,
But why am I the one apologizing?
You’re the one that pushed this upon me!
But I guess I apologize for the hell you will go through now,
But still,
You did this to yourself.
So in the end I’m so sorry,
But goodbye…

Poetry Slam: 

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