Why isn't anyone paying attention?

I guess they don't understand......

I try to be open and let them in, hoping someone will notice and return the favor, but it hasn't happened yet. Not even for a minute, a second, a moment.

And becuase of this solitude it has become that. Because in truth it has been this way from the begining.

This is real. 

And yes. I have thought of....that.

But fear controlls me.

I'm glad that it does.

Sometimes someone will actually give themselves over to my eyes.

It feels nice.

But most of the time I don't notice the gesture becuase I'm too busy with my act, wearing my mask, too preoccupied with myself to see anyone else.

And sometimes I feel like I'm becoming my own mask that I have created.

It is killing me inside.

I hope it won't overcome me.

As a child I didn't notice what I didn't have, I was a child, so I usually blindy acted on my emotions, trying to gain what was missing.

I knew the language that silence spoke.

And now that I am older I know what is missing. It weighs heavy on me.

One day I'll have child of my own. And let's say I have a girl.

I will her raise with what was missing.

And then I will say, this is my daughter.......she loves me.