WHAT'S ON MY MIND

Location

When I walk out the door and around the corner I notice something different each time. Yesterday it was a wine- o humming to his damn self. He smelled bad. And it was obvious he needed some real help. This wine- o was different than the rest though; he didn't beg me for money or alcohol. He asked me the most intriguing question of all. "What's my name" I slowed down to listen. Was he so darn inebraited that he lost the one thing he was able to hold onto? I decided not to tell him the truth which was "I don't know" I instead told him his name was James Jackson. But he asked me "What do I do" Needless to say I missed my train that day. I told him he was successful just bogged down by stress and rough times. He asked me "Why do I drink" I told him the same reason as everyone else "nothing better to do". He put his head down and I think he realized it wasn't a game anymore. He was used to hangovers so know hurt by the pain, but the mere truth. I took him to Dunkin' Donuts we ate breakfast and went on the train to...well nowhere. Yup, I decided 'James' was more important than work. As we got off the train laughing at jokes the mood had suddenlty shifted. He was no longer happy he began uncontollably sobbing. I touched his back and he left me with these words "Speak Your Mind!" I never saw him again, and it kind of made me sad. But that night my boss called and real life set in. She spent forever sexually making passes at me, but I always just ignored it. Tonight though something was different I knew in my mind I wasn't ready to take it. She said "Work is mandatory but I guess you forgot" I explained to her the story, but before I got to the end she begged me to stop. "Baby" She said into the phone lying is unneccesary. I didn't even bother trying to make her believe my truth. She said no one ever trusted drunks on the street not even naive little girls like me. My people pleasing nature allowed me to give in I apologized to her and told her it would never happen again. I had been at this job for five years now and it was my only source of income. She laughed and begged me "Have dinner and sex with me tonight" I told her no thanks and she decided to ruin my life. She threatened to fire me and for a split second I thought my only option was to give in, but I thought back to earlier. Before James left he told me to "Speak My Mind" maybe he was an angel aware of this conversation. I told my boss to forget about it, and she said I could pick up my last paycheck tomorrow morning. I hung up the phone and cried in my pillow for two hours then after I had had enough I took a cold shower. As I was drying my hair I remembered how important this day was to me. 10 years ago I had gone to trial because a family member had been sexually abusing me for my whole childhood. That's why I had so much trouble fighting my boss because I was so used to such relationships. This time I made it. I spoke up for myself. So little boys and girls can do the same too. Don't wait until your all grown up to tell someone they have hurt you. "Speak your mind and let the words ring like freedom." If it wasn't for James I'd still be hanging my head in shame. People only do to you that which you allow. Stop it all at once! As the slam says "Speak Your Mind!"

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