When he looked at me I captured every moment I could in his eyes

When he spoke I studied the shape of his lips when he talked about the things he loved

When I told him I was in love with him

I expected a ship with full sails ahead

I believed love was a singular thing

A whole

But it wasn't long before I started collecting pieces

Now I can’t even look someone in the eyes for too long before I feel them analyzing me

I can’t talk too much about the things I love without feeling like I’m talking too much

I feel an attraction to someone and I run

Full sprint

I perceive things with a fear that I’m afraid to admit I even have

They say-

Time heals all and everything happens for a reason and never give up on what you love, and they are speaking truth-

but God-

It’s been two years and a lot has happened and yeah I gave up on him but

I haven’t given up on myself

And that means a whole lot