Where Are You?

Location

Where are you now?
I can't remember your face,
The photos are all burn with our memories.
He despises you but I miss you
Maybe it's because he had more time to know you
And I am here confused and alone.
She works from 5 to 9 
Away when I woke and here when I slept
She missed my childhood just to provide us with a better future
And where were you,
5th beer down and smoked all your cigarettes
That money was for rent
 
When you left we felt like mistakes
The ones written in pen
Unable to erase so you just left us alone
Why did you leave when we need you the most
All we do now is blame ourselves
For the mistakes you made.
 
He looked up to you but won't admit it
He stays strong but he knows if you came back the tears would flow for weeks.
He was your first born
Branded with your name, your blood
He's reminded of you every time he hears his name
It's associated with you walking out on us.
You're a coward but you are also our father,
Something we could not control.
I can't bring myself to call
Since I don't know what to say
To the man who left his bride waiting in the delivery room.
For all I know you've passed on
That's my one fear
That grandma will answer and tell me that you've been dead for years,
I drown in my tears when I think of you
It's been 14 years.
 
Fathers day reminds me how much of a bastard I am
Writing letters in class that will never get to you
I just want you to come back.

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