Where Do I Go From Here?

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Why does this keep happening?

The pain and depression after the joy.

I always think I'm doing better,

When a memory hits.

 

I go spiraling back down into sadness.

Thoughts of suicide and starving myself.

They flood my mind.

I do this to make myself perfect in your image.

 

I'm insecure.

I'm lost.

I lost you and now I lost my way.

Without you I don't know where to turn.

 

I'm scared to let go.

I'm scared to give up.

I hang on to memories.

Memories and words.

 

All I have is hope.

Something I won't give up.

I pray,

I pray every night.

 

Not just for you but for me.

I pray for happiness.

I pray for this because of the black hole it's created.

I'm lifeless. I'm empty.

 

It's not me anymore.

My soul is gone.

All that's left is my body,

Dead and rotting.

 

You're my poison

And my antidote.

You were my life and now you're gone.

Where do I go from here?

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