Who Am I

WHO AM I

 
Who am I...tell me...I need to know!
I have giving myself away so many times, but yet I still do not know who I am
Who have you made me into?!
Am I that monster in the darkness, that ones fears to want to see
Taring the hearts from the innocent's flesh and leaving them with nothing, no motion but a tear that flows down the cheek of once a lover's kissed
Have you made me into one of yours angels, you can tell me I will not tell a soul
I need to know if I am doing the right things, treating people the right way or am I someone whose heart has went cold
I know who I am not or who I am destined to be 
But if you have a plan for me, I will wait...I know patience is the key
You have spoiled me with too much love, this I know
Because when I feel no more love, my mood changes and yes it shows
Who am I...I need to know!
Have you done your finest work on me or do I have a long way to go
Should I keep listening to the ones who see me or should I listen to You, the one who created me
You have given me a heart and it beats to all those sounds that sound so sweet
But the eyes you have supplied me weeps at the sounds that are so discrete 
You have made me into someone who feels pain
Pain that is not only hard to forget but something what you taught me to do but I have not really done...forgive
If I forgave I would not continue to distance myself from those who hurt me
But instead love thy neighbor, love thy enemy 
I try to live the way you would, without judgement , sin and love everyone the same
But when I have been hurt this many times, trust, anger, and forgiveness is hard to attain 
Why have you blessed me with so many skill sets
I guess it is because you have and put me through so many obstacles to put my skills to the test
Who am I...I need to know!
Am I a black homosexual woman that is only suppose to love one woman
Or can I be that same black homosexual woman who love women
That is just it, I can only give my true self to one at a time
Not able to break away until THEY feel their heart has given up throughout time 
You made me too thoughtful, I am losing my mind
I cannot stop thinking about things I said or done that could have been a little more kind
Can I not stay stubborn and not fix the things I messed up
Sometimes I want half empty and not a full cup
See...I have seen what you have done, you made me feel for those who gone through so much
You know I am going to try my best to give them the world, I cannot mess up
I cannot keep putting my feeling all in
I AM GETTING HURT GOD...I SWEAR I HAVE SET A TREND!!!
You have made me be someone who can get hurt but who cannot hurt someone 
Is it so wrong to want the ones that hurt me to know how it feels to be hurt by me!
You cannot even let me tell them how I truly feel
The fear of hurting them...the thought of words could kill
You have made me too apologetic 
There is no backbone, no Mrs. Almighty, I seem pathetic
I demand respect...how selfish is that?!
But is it really wrong to give respect and expect it back?!
Do I really have to play so nice
I want to be mean, yell, maybe even get in a fight 
Who am I...I need to know!
You have gave me a pretty face but have you made me beautiful
For this to happen I must be pretty on the outside and even on the inside, a place that does not physically show
There is more than being kind to people and waking up everyday with a smile
I want to have the heart like yours, the heart that continues to see wonders even if walking the green mile 
I feel you gave me the ability to love but not be loved, is that truly fair
I want and need the same thing I give, it takes two to make a solid love affair 
Who am I...I need not know!
I am your child, your creation, your angel and that is all I need to know!
A creation that has seen darkness and has no monstrous side
I am a powerful, independent, strong minded woman who has set great goals, values and moral for myself
Still learning to hold my head up high even if I have not yet reached my final destination on the top shelf 
I have learned to love myself and everything you made me out to be
If I did not learn to do this then it would be difficult everyday to live the life of me 
I am not perfection but made in your image 
If I never forget that, I will learn forgiveness 
You have set out a path for me and it has been hard to follow
But I will not keep looking away from that path as long as I have you as my role model
Who am I...I know this now
I am a child of God...and no one can take that away from me...no way no how! 
 
This poem is about: 
Me

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