Who, even, am I?

I was born ushered on the wings of doves;

When the sun breached, so did the daughter.

I am the girl that, when posed with a simple question,

will give the most philosophical and over-thought answer,

all because I want to.


 

I am the purveyor of rainy-day memories:

of tripping in puddles,

and dancing in open streets

Until all that is left is the moon on our backs

And the careless high-notes still dangling like silver in the air.


 

I've fed the manta-rays with their smiling eyes and open mouths,

Pet them until all I wanted was to live in the tank with them.

I've swam with sharks, and dolphins, and all the crazy beach life:

Including the radical surfers and totally bogus tourists.


 

I'm that girl that leaps out windows and falls down vents

All because I want a little adventure,

But end up having to get my skin threaded back together for my time,

And maybe that cast when I was five should’ve taught me my lesson,

But it didn't...


 

I'm also the girl that's afraid of heights,

Even though she wants to be thrown up every roller-coaster she can

And needs 40 oz of Sprite at the bottom.

I'm not necessarily afraid of the fall that seems to loom,

But that sudden stop on the way down.


 

I can tell you all the most random facts that you'd ever want to know

And even the ones you don't.

I got in a fight in 5th grade, all because a girl decided she was better than me.

When my dad got called to the office,

And I was suspended for the rest of the day,

He took me out for pizza, because he knew I held back my punches.


 

Sometimes I'm the person who takes photographs for a living

While others, I'm a just a broke teenager without her license ,

And even more,

I'm the computer nerd that would rather sit behind an LED screen

Than in front of a live human...

And yet,

There's still those times

When I seem to be the only one with sense in the room

That's willing to speak out for what I think is right

Even when I know they'll call me “sinner”.


 

It used to be that sometimes I was the girl in the shadows,

And others, I'd be the one without a label;

Now I'm the advocate that says we don't all need that box

Because sometimes it hinders, rather than helps.

A good friend of mine taught me that

Maybe we should just be ourselves

Rather than who everyone else thinks we are.

I proceeded to respond with sarcasm,

Even though those are some of the wisest words I've heard.


 

I've spent days without sleep just so I could photograph a meteor shower,

But then fell asleep for seven hours,

Watching a movie about a giant lizard in Japan.

I love movies with superheroes,

Especially ones that I can Marvel at.


 

I was given my great-great-grandmother's jewelry

And finally saw through my grandma's eyes.

I've had songs dedicated to me

And crushes that I swore tore me inside out.

Lost earrings and friends

And wondered which was worth more in the long run...


 

It never fails that I'll be that 2:43 A.M. Voice-

The one that always calms you down-

That reminds that there will always be a reason,

Yet all I get is static states of mind

And dusty ol' cobweb dreams

When I ask for a hand-up.


 

I was told that everything comes to me

Even though I can honestly tell you

The highest pedestal to fall from

Is the one others have built for you from mud.


 

I can tell you first hand about bullying

When every time I turned around

Every achievement I was proud of was met with:

Because I'm the smart girl that went to the smart schools

Of course I'll get every question right,

Of course I'll be in the top of the class

And of course I don't work at it

Because it just comes to me with ease.


 

I'm “Google” to my classmates

Student 316080” to my administration

But, most importantly, I am all that I can be,

No matter what I'm given.

I've got old handmade toys that are scratched

And god knows they're more than just a bit tarnished

But they're what my memories have been built on:

Those wooden tractor sets

And hand-monogrammed blankets

And even those little 3D wood puzzles

That I'd spend hours putting together just right

(so proud when I didn't use the instructions).

They're banged up, and dented,

Worn down from time,

But if just one of them gave out all those years ago

This beautiful life I have wouldn't have stood.

 

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