Why

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I don’t know how long I can keep doing this.

It’s been a year it feels like a week.

I just don’t know how I’d begin to speak,

I know there’s something I’ll miss.

You seemed so happy when I finally asked;

I still don’t know how I got the strength,

Yet I did ask you after a length.

The coming pain was firmly masked.

I didn’t think that you’d be willing;

I was surprised, yet so very glad.

I didn’t realize it would end up so sad;

Love is such a fragile thing.

In the next week my world fell apart.

You told me just as I entered the room:

You changed your mind. I didn’t know what to assume.

I stopped you too soon, it broke my heart.

I trusted you to know your decision;

I made it as easy as I could,

I know you have a reason; I thought I should.

It was probably too soon for such precision.

You never gave me a reason as to why.

I still don’t know to this very day,

But still, what a small price to pay

To lessen your troubles, or at least try.

I was so built up when you agreed,

I was brought down in an instant.

No matter where I went

I couldn’t forget this deed.

I cried that day, why lie?

The truth will often come.

It wasn’t the last, but a larger sum

Then most in the past that came by.

What was the reason for the change?

The answer I may never know,

And this loss brings much of my woe.

There was such a very large range.

I’m left with not a single explanation,

No reason of any kind.

It’s beginning to mess with my mind.

I’m left alone with infatuation.

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