Why Am I Still In Love With You?

this was about a relationship that didn't work out. the guy actually had a crush on me since...uh..Kindergarten..and I was a freshman back then

 

Why do I still love you?

Why is it so hard?

It’s too difficult to get over you,

And I’m trapped in this position,

This awkward smiling and blushing position,

Where my mind is screaming,

“Help”,

But I just sit there like some giggly girl,

Laughing at your stupid jokes,

All the while

Hearing that stupid warning alarm ringing in my head,

But I just can’t get over you,

No matter how hard I try,

My feelings are crazy,

My heart is racing,

I don’t want to go back to you,

But my mind is forcing me to turn around 

When you call my name

And smile back at you,

When all I want to do

Is stare at you in cold silence,

And make you feel the pain and heartbreak

That I felt for so long,

I despise all this nonsense,

With you chasing after me,

After you left me in the bitter cold,

I despise all this pretending,

With me smiling like a blushing girl,

Pretending to like you back and love you too,

But I really don’t want to,

But my anxiety is taking over,

And it’s winning this time,

And I can’t say anything to you,

I’m too worried about what you’ll say,

So instead,

I’ll just sit quietly and hold my tongue,

Sitting there smiling back at you,

While hating this pretending-to-love-you feeling.

 

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