Why Do I Bother

Why do I bother writing my problems down. Only a select few I choose get to read them. I mean I'm depressed a lot more lately and no one knows. I know only 3 people who know why I hurt, because they're involved. I try to put my pain aside and help others, but most of the time I get involved or hurt in the process. I hide my tears behind closed doors, because that's what I've learned is the only time I should cry. No one knows I want to die, because I never threaten to kill myself. I know I couldn't do it myself, but I pray for my own death. My pain never ends it just gets suppressed. Then one day I look off into space more than usual and no one thinks anything bad is going on. I don't care if you care I'm just finally letting everyone know me... Oh and if I offend you or hurt you when I'm hurting. I don't mean it at all. I'm just confused and throwing words out without thought. Thanks for reading and don't pity me... it makes me feel worse.

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