Why do you judge me like you know me?

What did I ever do to you?

I just don’t understand

How the people around me have gone so mad.

 

I did nothing to deserve your hate.

Yet I was targeted like live bait.

Thrown into a swarm of sharks

Crushing my soul

My sprit

Watching it die as it glitters and sparks.

 

Why do you judge me like you know me?

Why do you feel the need to post about me all over the place?

Making me feel like I’m a waste of space.

Like I’m worthless.

Like I’m shit.

Where is that spark in me that was once lit?

 

I was the happiest person I knew.

As you all asked me if my secret was true.

You saw the color in my face drain to blue.

Yes I did it but so what?

Your words burnt through me like a cigarette butt.

 

You asked if I had told my mom.

I cried as I dug my nails into my palm.

I whispered “No” through the tears.

As my exhausted mind made room for new fears.

Then you told me “Would she even want you now?”

I never knew how much pain my heart could allow.

 

It was too much to handle.

My life was one big scandal.

And everyone knew.

The lies, the whispers the gossip, it just grew.

 

It was all over twitter.

And that knowledge made me feel bitter.

My private life was exposed.

For there I was naked, not clothed.

 

But yet I wonder.

Why do you judge me like you know me?

You don’t know what was going on at the time.

Wrong or right the decision was mine.

Is that such a crime?

Is that a reason to be undermined?

No one deserves what you people put me through.

Talking about me like you have a clue.

I bet you don’t even know how to say my name.

Yet now I’m classified as a whore, that is my new fame.

What am I suppose to do with all this pain?

 

You have no idea how much words can hurt.

All the mascara tears on my best friends shirt.

Spilled because of pointless words.

Coming at me in attack like herds

Of wrath

Of hate

But I’m glad I was saved before it was too late.

 

Do you know what’s like to be on suicide watch?

While you’re all out there drinking beer and scotch.

Doing drugs.

Packing nugs.

Why do you judge me like you know me?

Why are you so obsessed with ruining my life?

Telling me that now no one will ever want me as their wife

 

All I ever wanted was to be a mother.

But how can I now when everyone hates me, even my brother.

When the love of your life tells you he feels bad for your future baby.

Yeah I guess that thought alone is enough to kill yourself, maybe.

 

So what would I change?

Nothing.

Because God has a plan for me.

Even though sometimes I’m too blind to see.

Even though sometimes I’m too deaf to hear.

Change is near.

I no longer live in fear.

Because change starts with me.

And trusting in God’s plan is the key.

 

Now that everything is brought to light.

I pray with all my might.

Every single night….

 

That you people who hate me for no reason.

Will find God.

And be humbled and be awed.

And know that I wish you no harm.

And if you ever need anything please take my arm.

And if I can help you, please take my hand.

For God will lead us all to his beautiful promised land.