Why I Can't Love

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Don’t cry, it will only hurt more.
 
He just wanted to study
I heard the rumors in college
I never thought it would happen to me
He liked me.
No. Not me.
He felt a rush, loved the fight.
 
I saw his demon
I was numb with my fear, I knew what to expect
I felt his lust next to me, my mind screamed for help
He put his filthy hands on me and I knew
 
IF I SCREAMED OUT LOUD WOULD THAT HELP
IF I FOUGHT WOULD IT END
 
You can’t escape and when it’s over you’re left feeling cheap
You wipe your tears and collect your clothes and your sanity
Blood, tears, pain
You can’t speak, can’t tell a soul what you have endured
 
Does he feel remorse for the turmoil
Does he wake up in the morning and feel heavy with guilt
He did this to me, he broke me
I was raped in my own car
No place is safe, nothing is sacred
 
I drive home, numb and dead
Standing in the shower I stare into an abyss
Drive a blade through my naked body
The sting is so much better than the emotional scar
 
Where can I go from here
I am used, cheap- I am filth
Just shake yourself off and move on
Bury the memory deep in your mind
It was all my fault
It was cheap love
 
Don’t cry, it will only hurt more
 

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