Window to Elsewhere

Location

Eyes cast toward the window
Unseeing
Pretending to gaze outward, downward
At patchwork buildings and traffic
Unheard through hospital walls
Yet you remember the sound
Like the blood rushing through your ears
Still silent and still-
Still, imagining that you can almost believe
The world is really just that interesting
Arresting your attention, tugging
Out the window to somewhere, elsewhere
But you can never really convince yourself
That you’re anywhere but here
Because that’s your face in the glass
Were you ever really that small?
Are you really smiling?

They seem to believe you anyway
Maybe because the older they are
The younger you seem, unless
Did you really not know?
Rather, did you not understand?
Because you did know, heard
Them talking like you wouldn’t hear
Like you actually were somewhere, elsewhere
Far away. You wish you were but
You weren’t and so
You heard
How he’s weak, he hurts
Don’t get too close, he might break
Like the reflection of you-
And were you ever so small?-
In the window

You like to tell yourself
You didn’t understand, sometimes
You even believe it but others,
You’re pretty sure you were just selfish
Even then, but still
You hug him before you go
Because he asks you to
He won’t break he says
But you’re not so sure
Because even your reflection
Seems more solid

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741