worst year i ever lived in

J Cole had the right idea
i mean she had a vibe
i was digging it
Whole situation started off innocent
But little did i know i was sucked in
Going down into a vortex

When i realized it was too late
i had crashed with no safety net
To hold me
To catch me as i lost control

It was the beginning of the show
There was virtually nowhere i could run off to
So i stayed and dug a hole
Real deep
And forgot to bring a ladder

No one came looking for me
No one heard me cry for help
Maybe cause i didn’t
Didn’t want help
Or mercy
Or rescuing
Or even advice

Truth be told i lost my life in that hole
Died in a sea of insecurities i came up with
Drowned in a crowd of anger
Strangled by depression
Stabbed in the back by my new best friend
“Et tu MaryJane?”

Then an earthquake came through
Real quick
And shook up my hole
Disturbed my peaceful chaos

Wrap me up in white
Shove verses down my throat
It's a miracle i'm cured
...yeah right
Now it'll never be alright

So instead i frown behind a gigawatt smile
My eyes gleam with passion
Some call it tears
i build up titanium walls to protect my fears
From me
That precious little girl is now a distant memory
More like a dream or nightmare

i turn to stone as time passes by
Wishing that time would stop
i close my eyes and fear for better days
i am comfortable in this pain

i will remain comfortable
Hiding my emotions
Going for the ultimate kill
This world is now a game
i wish to win
So when I finally die they will say
“That was the best year she ever lived in”

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