To the frat boy who keeps thinking he's the shit
Bro you aren't
We all know mommy and daddy still dress you by the look of your pink polo, baby blue Bermudas, and your basic, worn out Sperry's
To the sorority goal who just won't stop sticking her tongue out in a selfie
Gross
To the eighteen-year-old virgin
I see you hiding behind the red cup filled with a concoction of jungle juice thinking tonight will be the night
Don't worry friend, (s)he will come soon
To the girl wearing a dress so tight and short you wonder how she got into it and how you are going to get her out of it
Use your imagination
To all the freshmen who haven't realized the mind-blowing stress of college
To the sophomores who keep making the same mistakes
To the juniors who are over the bullshit
To the seniors who made it through the stress, the mistakes, and the bullshit
I'll see you at my local Starbucks, I'll take a grande mocha frappucino