You say that I am beatiful

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You say that I am beautiful

But what does that mean?

I don't see that person you see

All I see is a person made of so many mistakes,

That if you were to grab a pencil and try to erase them, they won't come off

I only show you what I already want you to see

I dress up like everybody else,

But is that really me?

I really feel like that everyday is Halloween now,

Since my smile is my everyday custom

You think I'm fine and that I am always happy, but I'm not.

Have you ever heard that these who act innocent and always cheerful.

Are the ones who are actually hurting and are the ones that are suffering in the inside.

Do you think just cause I act energetic and caring,

That I am a good person who is fun to hang-out with,

Who haven't done nothing majorly wrong in thier life.

Then you really don't know what is lock up in this head of mine

Do you truly think that just cause I look well put together

That I might not be falling apart,

That I'm not crazy or insane,

That I don't need to go to rehab

And need to take these billions of pills that they shove down your throat

Like these other people who are locked up in this white room like if they were prisoners,

I think I am insane

That I could cause pain

And love it

That I need to be chained up

To the point I can no longer move

The me that I show looks like a character

In a scene of a movie that I produced myself

If you really want to see who I am

Then come a little closure

And I'll show you who I am

I see myself for who I am

But rather not show to anybody else

My head feel like it is going to explode anyday now

I'm not even sure if I can say that I am me now

You say that I am beautiful

But that isn't true

See my reflection you'll know what I mean,

Cause that is the me I will always see for the rest of my life

The one that if it break out of this reflection

I might lose my humanity as a person

What does it even mean to be beatiful?

Guide that inspired this poem: 

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