You Say You Know Me

Tue, 08/05/2014 - 20:14 -- Sage

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You say you know me
But you judge by the facade
The fake smile and nice disposition
The innocence and false confidence

What you don't know is my disgust
With my body and my mind
How my stomach and thighs make me nauseous
Or how my brain makes me reel in hatred

You don't know my addiction
About how I crave to cause me pain
How I make the cuts "just so"they don't leave a scar
And if the do, I can cover them easily

You can't fathom how I lie
How I plan them so delicately you cannot question it
Covering up slices with cat scratches
And depression with headaches

You don't realize how my chest twists
It turns and flips and pulls in rips
All because I'm frightened to say or do the wrong thing
My heart may not be able to take much more

You can't wrap your head around
How I'm absolutely fine one moment
But reclusive and quiet the next
I retreat into my shell so I hurt none and none hurt me

You can't know of the love I've fallen in
Because then you would reject me
Isolatation or possibly disowning
All because you don't understand 

So don't say you know me
When all you know is the mask
The one I peak from behind often enough to let you in
But you force me to close you out

Don't say you know me
When you so obviously don't
Because behind everyone's smile is a story
And mine is not one you can say wrote.

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