Young

You open your eyes and the world around you seems so beautiful

A blue sky with white clouds above during the day

A dark purple sky with glittering stars at night

There is a force within you that you do not comprehend

Emotions they call it

You live with someone to look up to

Whether it’s your parents, siblings, family, or an idol

You consider what you will be when you’re older

Dreaming of greatness that is expected of you

Going through elementary in a haste because everyone around you is so much older

 

You then begin to feel the definition of the word “pretty”

And makeup becomes a part of your everyday life

Eyeliner and blush surround your friends

And crushes eventually become relationships

But the naiveness of young love is squandered with hasty decisions

You get hurt, and it is merely a prequel to what is to come

Your classes get complicated

Your friends are distanced with their petty problems

Longing to be rebellious

And it seems like the end of your sheltered world

 

High school comes around

And your image of imperfection holds strong emotions within your chest

The desire for someone reaches out to you

A small razor blade imprints words onto your skin

And all of a sudden, they all worry about you

They are there for you, and you get up

Speaking when you should, keeping quiet when it is necessary

 

You are willing to manipulate and be manipulated so long as you can survive this hormonal confusion

And you think you find love, and they think they love you

There is nothing wrong with kissing

Nothing wrong with his hand wandering further

Nothing wrong with growing up

It is love, is it not?

And he speaks to your friends

Things that you have done

And somehow, you have a family member that knows of what you have done

And they care, they care too much

 

It is suddenly wrong

“Looked down upon by society”

“You are too young”

“Did he force you into it?”

“You have lost my trust”

“It is my fault”

“It is against the law”

 

And your image is shattered

Those who were told about it no longer see you as a perfect girl

How can you even face them?

You have to break up with him

It was not for him to tell

Not to them

Not that way

 

And again, they are suddenly there for you

 

Well not this time

I won’t allow it

This time, I won’t speak to you

Because you only ask me if I’m okay when you know an inkling of what I do

No, it was not wrong

Yes, I am young

Yes, I am naïve

But so are you

You in your sheltered world

Open up your eyes

I am not a child

See the world

I’m not saying that I was pressured into it by society

I did it on my own basis

Do not tread upon me with your beliefs

It was not wrong to me

I am young

I am me

It is my life

And it just added to my experience of this world

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