You're Killing Me

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I loathe your addiction to cigarettes
and the women you go to see
because one is killing you
while the other is killing me.
and inside your arms
is the only place I want to be,
but you can't hear me
because you aren't here
and if you were
you wouldn't even care.
and I know I am not good enough,
I do not need reminding.
please don't come by
just because you can't find
what you're looking for.
and you don't even know what you're looking for,
and I have nothing to look forward to anymore.
so what makes you think I would help you?
because I did before,
and another time just after another time?
well not anymore.
okay, well, maybe just one more time.
just promise me you won't give me those eyes,
those lies that sound like lullabies.
but when they are over I being to realize
you were never speaking truthfully.
and then I start to cry,
time after time, tick tock tick tock, time flies by.
my heart skips beats.
my eyes flicker towards the cars that zoom down the streets
and I strut down the sidewalk.
considering gliding over to the center of the road
and lying there, waiting
for someone else who doesn't care.
and they could run me over
like you did to me
except this time, instead of it just being metaphorically,
and only feeling like I'm dying,
I will actually die.
but of course I could never do that to myself.
and I wouldn't want to pain my loved ones just because you hurt me.
so this is goodbye, again
and this time I think I actually mean it.

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