You're Not My Dad

I don't know why there are so many pictures of you and us
In that album
And I don't know if I erased your face from my memories
And I don't know if this is what all fathers act like
And I don't know if you actually thought you were helping us
And I don't know if you thought we missed you when you left
And I don't know if your new little family believes you when you say you're a great father
And I don't know if you actually believe my mother is at fault for this
But I do know
That we're better off without you
And that if we could have lived without you in the first place we would have chosen that
And that no matter how many people you tell, you will never be a good father
Or even really a father at all
You don't deserve to be called that
You don't deserve to get Father's Day cards or birthday presents because you're not just a bad father, you're a bad person
And I know that no matter how many people tell me that I have to love you because you're my father, I won't
And you're not.
I don't HAVE a father.
And I know that your family will come to terms with who you are soon enough
I mean, damn, this is your third marriage.
And I know that I won't regret later on that I don't talk to you
Because you didn't even say anything about the lack of a Father's Day wish
Or any check in
Or even a Facebook post
You probably don't even remember when my birthday is
I know that even though you curse my mother for being at fault, you're wrong. She's an angel.
And even if she's not, at least she stayed.
And I know, that no matter how many times it crosses my mind, you didn't leave because of me.
It wasn't my fault.

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