I feel so detached, watching the scene happening
How could these blue scrubs be mine? This wristband?
I'm not trusted with a pen, I gotta use crayons to write out
scatterbrained Xanax phrases,
imitating regular habits
Each noise reminds me of an old time so I find grief in peaceful places
Here, let me demonstrate my ability
to find painful correlations
Someone dropped something?
I'll translate: immediate danger.
I remind myself this isn't so bad
At least I'm not second coming of Christ like the bed next to me,
I've still got my sanity
But I bet that guy says that to himself too,
and hey, we're in the same scrubs
So let's make a list in spite of my mounting listlessness
I could've lost it, it's possible
After 20 years it's just my mess, I'm responsible
Quit it! They're doping me up and I can't handle that
Yet now my fear of medicine's less impactful than the pill they fed me with
That's alright, the tears are gone
I'm prone to over-complicating complications
That panic attack is a chemical irregularity and you are too,
your savior's medication.
What a simple message
And how many of us have been screaming it
Dope up the kids
Dope up the children
I feel better
I feel fine
So detached here too
A paradise with hazy blue
Is passion my vice
Anxiety my reason?
Who am I without
My jittery hands and unsure stance
Now I sit and calculate
And hum and drink tea and read
Like I used to, younger, yet something’s missing
You live life a certain way for so long,
You imprint upon your soul a way of being
And when you go against the grain you find yourself abrasive
Where do I begin and end?
Combatting familiar rationale with something stronger
Take a pill
Feel the lull