depression and self harm

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I'm an addict to metal against my skin. Temptation to call that number. 1800 273 8255 Self harm hotline. Don't you see I'm fucking broken?
I'd rather set myself on fire Then listen to you anymore I'd rather burn and scream in hot agony Then sit in silence feeling the opposite pain within
I'm drenched. the coagulating bliss of blue pigment molding into gleaming red does not frighten me- although it should It stings. it sticks to me like syrup
My life is Intoxciating Its so Misleading It can be so Frustrating I guess im still debating on whether my life is worth hating My life is so demanding and friends are not so understanding
Yes. But not as much As what it helps me forget For even just one moment
  Heart hangs heavy like raindrops on the window Tears fall like rose petals in the first chill of autumn wind Hope shone bright like the moon at midnight Eclipsed by the shadow of self
Twenty minutes laterShe is all aloneShivering from the coldThe tears pour down like running waterShe is slowly losing gripAnd everything is falling downAnd she is going numb.They found her days later
7/23/13 The first time was the deepest The first time was the worst
7/21/13 With every wave sends soaring pain stinging deep searing heat   Brand new and shiny cold to its core hard Armour metal sharp to a point  
to lose my sanity.. to lose whats real.. to lose all feeling.. to no longer feel to no longer exist to slit my wrist what makes you stronger kills like that bottle of pills
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