anxiety

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all i feel are blue emotions   in my head everything's a commotion   where everything is in high speed motion   and i'm trapped in my being    every piece of me crippling   
My first memories, My first memories are of the sea. My first memories of my own father and his boat, All on a tiny fishing boat From the mouth of the Little Norway River.
the memories of you have burned a hole into my brain, theyve singed my hair, painted the walls ash-grey. i asked if i could burn the sweatshirt but it wasnt your face i was looking at,
Stillit sits there, bones and all, grounded in the monotonous planecolor unyieldingPoised to begin, possessing the knowledge of the end. 
  What are these mysterious handsThey sleep then wake but always stayClose around my throat like ropeHere at night and in the day
it started when i was little.   no one believes me, but   i remember.   i remember  the first moment i wasn't able to breathe, the first time i thought about death, 
The harsh reality of life, Hit me unexpectedly. I wish I knew, How hard anxiety was going to be
I wanted to give up. I wanted to come up from the hell i’ve endured for these years -- have been the hardest i’ve ever seen why won’t you let me leave Me alone
hey howve you been? it feels as if we havent talked in a while what are you doing? you seem busy
This hollow ache I swallow the sword of fondness I wait for it's closure to hit my stomach It is unforgiving It is tastless It is mine alone
I can not pinpoint the moment when I stopped being a kid   Maybe it was high school, When i started, Wide eyed and naiive,
i pull off my heavy-weight sweatshirt i weigh myself ranking up to nearly 100 pounds im satisfied for now
It was a blue day But you kept me warm Though tears fell like raindrops, There aren't many days anymore
“Hello old friend”   I say with a grin on my face As I stare away blankly towards space.   It’s been a while since we first met.
For as long as I can remember, I've always had this void in my life.
it’s like this- you’re in an endless ocean and there’s nothing inherently bad about the ocean only, you can’t leave
“forget your perfect offering just ring the bells that still can ring there is a crack in everything that’s how the light gets in” -Leonard Cohen  
Healthy,                                                                    Skeletal.  Strong,                                                                     Collapse.  Recover,
 Fear becomes the barrier that keeps me in No smoke to see, and no life of sin My life is as hard as can be, but my fear keeps me in
There’s something in the water  Just below the surface  Every time I look away it glimmers.  A gentle splash  Lapping of water on the hull of my leaky boat.
Her mind is filled with the screams of the damned Roaring over the cracking Tearing Ripping Of the sky The pounding beat steady Louder Louder Louder Gutteral cries Deep down
They won't stop They won't quit Dominating Who knew a harsh whine Could drive me over Make the air vanish Constrict my lungs Leave me shaky With tears in my eyes
welcome friend, it's dark down here. for most, it's much too grim the table's set with plates half empty the cups spill o'er their rims  I'm sorry I closed off
Feet perched on top of a practical duffell, those few inches of distance Between my feet and the carpet allow space for impractical wishes. Wishes that I weren’t here, waiting.
Higher and higher I climb, With death filtering through my mind.   I no longer have hope, Only a really strong rope.  I tie it around my neck,  And give it a quick little check.   
I am like a hand grenade. Come one step too close and I pull the tab. I don't trust anyone to keep me safe. I'd much rather be the one to destroy myself.  
My outside appearance shows nothing of me.  I am not what you see,  for I am not even human.  I am a soul  trapped inside this body,  screaming for help. I'm constantly being attacked 
I'm obsessed,Obsessed with death.  I love to picture my own end. Will it be by my own hands?An enemy's? Will I be a hero? Or will I grow old?   I'm obsessed,
Manipulated.      Protective,      Terrified,      Confused. Emotional Abuse. 
Cloth can’t cover enough, Eventually all will be exposed. You try to sneak by, “Don’t let them see you cry.”   The blood has a calming effect,
  there’s this girl i used to know. her name flows blue inside of me- she was so afraid to show, who she once was in front of me-  
A glow up for me was havin’ the realization Depression was my setback, not my damnation I don’t think I ever grew up, but I definitely glowed And realized my sadness belonged in the commode
Weeping Small watery beads fall like tiny diamonds. Glittering as the sunlight sprouts from their surfaces in prismatic tints.
When you’re four, you ask your mom why a dime is smaller than a nickel One larger than the other, yet only the worth of five pennies Your mom still buys you matching sets to wear to school
Parties aren't my thing. There's something about big crowds That makes me shut down. I'm uncomfortable. Sometimes I just want to crawl under a table. Everyone's closing in. I can't even think.
  I feel like I'm in a movie.
    She’s like my first child you know  I carry her weight on my shoulders  But she’s not a kid anymore  Man she’s getting older 
I don’t know how How to cope  This weight inside me feels too much   My life laid out I thought I was fine
Adulthood daunting, calling, taunting.Empty applications haunting.Heartbeat thudding in my chest,Through one more standardized test.
A ball of anxiety, curled in my stomach. That bad boy spreads into my heart and brain, Causing quite a havoc. Hello, anxiety.
It’s an  Anxiety   That doesn’t  Need to be diagnosed  But it’s felt And it’s known Like Brown 
She told me with a red face. Our silent rage crackled around us like lightning in the rumble before the rain. I heard her whisper- through her teeth,
Erykah,
  in my head   something was not right   it took time to realize    but i finally changed my life around    in my head    pain and fear swirled about 
it’s a thought(quiet, still)that moves you from calm to (fear)   it’s a motion(abrupt, small)that warns of (panic)  
you’re staring thoughtfully at the (blank)page in front of you, pencil poised, hovering hesitantlyyour hand still as you consider ·
i have a friend who likes to ride upon my back and shoulders. he's little but i've tried to hide him as i've gotten older.   his arms are tight around my neck, which makes it hard to breathe.
Waking up on Saturday mornings for the sole purpose of hearing Elmo squeak about something new on Sesame Street, has long been overruled by new responsibilities.
silent   wont talk she just nods scared to speak up she wants to be heard but knows nobodys ever truly listening she tries to trust  but shes struggling
Panic is a bathroom sink, Grime-covered and overflowing, Tearing the skin off my hands With its vicious heat splashing, Burning cold through spilled ink.  
My anxiety is a subscription I never wanted but it gets delivered to me anyway. It rings at my door and persists that I answer even if I don’t want it.
Cant you hear it?there is musicfrom behind the walls.whimsical windits callingbegginglisten listen listen
I thought you were doing fine, I didn’t know what was wrong, I thought you'd push through it, that you were invincibly strong, As a friend I should have supported you, helped you along the way,
Would you just stop talking already? Today, I learned that stress can kill your cells. I had my suspicions.
Slinking in the shadows, stalking its prey For a minute I thought it was going to be a good day I smile on the outside, acting like everything is great
16, Afraid of what might happen.Like the crew of a ship whose captainHas never sailed beforeTo unfamiliar shore.  
It was fleeting, Never around. I searched, Lost, not to be found.   Map in hand, Advice in mind. I tried it all,
From the outside my childhood looks plain. I did soccer and cheer,  doodled in class, and whispered promises of forever to elemtary school friends.   No one wouldve noticed the pain I carried with me.
I could never come to terms with how  you viewed me.    You’re so pretty.  You’re so capable. You have so much potential.   You said that to me the other day.  
Once, you claimed a kind of love, unbeknownst to the receiverRememory*A mother’s desperate love; one in which she sacrifices allRememoryDo you truly love your children, or only what they are able to accomplish?
i. you said they came with rocks so i built a fortress for emotion brick by brick from bitter lies about how you thought it was, to love a woman.  
I’m sitting here in the cold, damp rain I can feel the tightness in my chest My mental pain turned into physical pain They say I just need to rest  
A letter to humanity, With every new opening eye, I cry A new sigh, a new eye Born into this world Into the flames of splendor do we find ourselves to be
20/1/19--Brooklyn in The Rain I'm 17 and a month old now, and it’s about 20 minutes past midnight.
Suffocating. My chest tightening, My mouth drying, My hands shaking, My heart in my ears - pounding, But I am not even running.
To be a kid again, life was simpler then, With carefree afternoons and evenings That left you in bed content with Pleasant dreams and memories.  
Sometimes I wonder If others think the way I do.   It’s different in my mind. Harder to imagine people and lives.   Everyone seems so far away.
  You’re poison to me. Yet I keep you around.   You push me to the ground. Then pull me back up.   No one else sees you.
A grain of sand slipping through the trembling hands of time. A band of lightning striking through the tangled lines of thousands of eyes of millions of paradigms. A dangerous land filling with crumbling gods and snapping strands.
Thump. Thump. I stand in complete darkness Thump. Thump. Waiting for the curtains to creep open.   Thump. Thump. Knees Shaking Thump. Thump. Heart pounding Thump Thump
how can i stand up to my fears when my fears are not something to stand up to? how do i fight the unexplainable? how do i face a fear of nothing?   as a part of the generation of overcomers ,
Anxiety. It’s always been there, Lurking in the depths. Have I learned how to rid it? Not yet. But as a person who has beliefs of what there is above, I have put my fears to faith
Fear.   She envelopes us like a cold day without a jacket. Shivering like bare shoulders, chills climbing in the crooks of collapsing collarbones. "I am afraid," the voice taunts, always behind us always there.
How hard is it to breathe? When your mind is not at ease? In a sense you think you're fine, try to hold it in inside. You affirm yourself, "I got this". But you're not the kind who's reckless.
Fear tells you to stand where you are. Don't move. What if I want to get somewhere? Well you have to take a step out there.
I feel as though I am drowning in a sea of emotions I can not comprehend, The tide of uncertainty washing me furthur from shore, My life jacket cannot save me here, I am floating and keeping watch for sharks,
There is race of little monsters, Their numbers are countless, And they live everywhere.   They cannot be seen. They have no smell. They have no discernable form.  
This is more than fear. Fear protects us, Keeps us safe. So what is this anxiety protecting me from? Embarrassment? Rejection? Leadership? Friends?  
I stand with trembling hands in front of a crowd of pseudo fans. My mouth is dry—cracked from holding the desert under my tongue.   I am afraid of being the jester in a table of Kings.
In daylight around my peers My stature and character becomes sharp as if it were a spear. But everyday has a night This is where my anxiety begins creating this dirty little sprite.
They say the only thing to be afraid of is fear itself, as if it’s some kind of reassurance, a pat on the back  a little too hard, slamming all of the air out  of a pair of lungs too desperate for 
Don’t know where this road goes  But I know we’re growing apart  Day by day  I fell asleep with two sheets below me  And I woke cold    Don’t stop rubbing that thumbtack on my arm 
I walk into the dreaded room and a familiar feeling overwhelms my senses as I look around me and observe all the smiling faces and joyous outbursts the pit of worry in my stomach expands
She’s always been there lurking In the darkest corners of my mind I never thought of searching For the voice that mimicked mine
They watch me Like predators hunting prey They approach me In an intimidating way They scare me With the meaningless words that they say.
The future is a thing with wolf-teeth waiting to swallow me whole. I cling desperately onto each present moment,
Fearing a transparent man-made tool of vanity A tool who hides nothing This tool shows you who you truly are Some may say that you are more than your reflection
Every little kid learns about butterflies, With their fluttering wings and their monumental transformation
I awaken   Rub my eyes Judge the size Of my shaking   Hands   Have they grown bigger?   I’m attached  
It’s 12:47 AM. You’re asleep, all tucked in bed  your head resting against the pillows of feathers plucked from white geese. 
Beowulf versus Grendel A classic tale of battle, which continues in me. My Grendel has terrorized me for years, Sinking her claws deep into my soul Every day I fight back – Becoming my own hero
Fear can cause rapid beating, But to give up trying And end up screaming. It will all be consuming.   I cover my ears and run.
My feet pitter pattered as I walked towards the stage. My hands are starting to become clammy. I wonder, should I walk back or engage?
I feel like I'm drowning Retreating into my mind My brain hurts My legs numb My arms heavy and palms sweaty Body throbbing and tears streaming I lay, crying And sobbing And scratching
                      When I look at that face there is nothing in. This world more clear then what I see, this is someone who’s achieved nothing. A being so afraid to change it does nothing but stare.The embodiment of sadness and anxiety.
The glove scraped my face. I fought the anxiety. I will not lose this.
As a child I didn’t fear the monsters under my bed I feared the monsters inside my head. I still fear my own mind. It bothers me all of the time.
Are they the enemy?  I've always asked myself, just where do their priorities lie? Who is on my side?  Young, weak, trembling,  I stand with frailty,  But I stand. I stand. I will keep standing,
How do you write something happy that's also good?   My efforts always seem to fall short when I attempt to write about how the sun feels on my skin, because that skin contains scars
"Once more," they asked me. They asked with those simple words.  "Once more," they said again. The words climbed up my throat, but never left. Their greedy mental hands pushed and pulled,
I’m on a boat. I’m 7. I remember boats can capsize. I begin to doubt the integrity of this boat. I panic.   I’m in a car.
People all around But I can only hear one sound I want to make a friend Why can't this pain end I try to build the strength But the voice inside will go to any length
  You’re my enemy but my friend I always wonder when you’ll end You motivate me to do work If I don’t then I will feel worse My mind runs like a bomb Even when I’m feeling calm
Underwater it seems I live my life today. There is no escape from the thoughts I call my own, The fear, the shaking, the future unknown My body reacts without control  There is no end in sight. I hate
Thoughts No Worries Worries zip across my mind Anxious Nervous Stressed Breathe
I had a phobia of words; Not the monster under my bed. This terror lived inside me Up inside my head.   It ate my thoughts for breakfast Asked for seconds Then for thirds
Heart Pounding, Beating out of my chest even. Deep breath in, deep breath out.   Lips Quivering, Teeth lightly nibbling the inner lining of my mouth.
I was always a shy child. I would rehearse saying my name out loud In case my voice cracked I would fixate on every thought every
Take three steps forwards Realized from years of hard work Fall backwards off the ledge Realized from a downward spiral One morning; a monday morning. Two thoughts; do I live or die?
you're four and pocahontas is your world. mommy and daddy don't understand, 'you want to marry the princess? you can't.' (they don't know why you're confused.)
I Fear Living   My mind won’t power down from all the thoughts that scare me   cause every day I’m living in a world I don’t want to be
I take a breath. Silence bubbles up to ears and muffles The sound surrounding me. My Hands curling, my fingers dig into my palm With the viciousness only found in survival. I take a breath.
Anxiety. The one thing I would always fear. The one thing everyone fears. My Skin... The bumps and scars on my skin reminded me of how I can never have clear or smooth skin. My Weight...
At thirteen my heart had never been broken I was still dreaming big dreams And I was still outspoken I sided with hope having no concept of doubt
There it was, That shadowy silhouette With its glowing yellow eyes, And tall stature, Always watching, Always waiting, Waiting for the perfect time to strike.  
The creeping dark is there Waiting for me to slip The creeping dark is there Helping my feet to trip The creeping dark is there Freezing my heart and soul The creeping dark is there
It is there with me every day all night. In the morning when my alarm blares, and in the evening when sleep evades me.
Feeling energy acscend, rising faster even as revelations  facaded, enveloped and revealed find emotional assertions: resolutions. Feeling evolved, as reopened flowers entice astral rays;
Waiting. Waiting for a sign, Broken, damaged, lost, Crying for help, Screaming into the void, ‘Help me, please, someone help me.’
Strength takes persistence We face this situation every day But as long as you cross the finish line Anxiety fades away.
A sudden realization in the back of a subaru A panic, driven by an anxiety I am clinically chained to With all of the time I have been given and all of the love I have been given what have I done for myself?
My fear feels like this: cold fingers wrenching my wrists behind my back, thick, black ink coating my lungs, poison gas seeping into my ears, whispering: "Everything would be better if you weren't here."
No one fights my demons cuz angels don't exist A scream without an echo  is an arm without a fist Must we lose the ones we love  to see inside our hearts? Aren't we all just souls with tear-away faces
It's hard to feel alone in the world A piece of you missing but no one knows No one sees inside you to that terrible hole The hole in a space by your heart The one that screams out for a hand
     Like a dark cloud hovering over me,      Fear found its greedy way into my life.      It held me back with strong chains and great lies,      And convinced me to burrow into my shell.  
i’m still searching far and wide for someone who has always been beside me you are here but i don’t know your face yet  
I can't watch the sunsetbecause it hurts my chest but I like the way the waves crash against the shoredragging it back down with the tide
Fear grips me, my heart races and sweat trickles down my back and anxiety takes over. Gradually, my panic is reduced to nervousness. I keep playing after I miss the ball, the coach yells at me.
My day goes by, all a blurry haze.I'm slowly drowning in a cold, dark pool.  People pass by, reaching out thier hands.
I dreamt of a glowing blue square That seemed to look at me with an ice cold stare. It chased me in circles around my own house, But my screams were no louder than a mouse.  
I would try to swim across the river every day, Just to find myself sinking, Filling my lungs with a rush of fire.
So many words None I can say I look at them They can see the words But cannot read them And I cannot say them I scream And I shout In a foreign language They don't understand
Who cares what others say?  They only want to ruin your day.  Nevermind what the haters say, just ignore them until they fade away. I used to think, what if they are right? Then I realized, they had no right.
The inexorable creep of sleep seeps into my toes worries and woes Thrown out my window. For during good times I have flown too close to the sun.
Pressure keeping me in a state of mind Though it's not fine Desperation in my eyes
I think I could die
Taunting vultures circulate overhead Without invitation. The incessant, whipping wings Pay no mind to The air that I displace.  
the feeling is strange i dont know what to do but im glad for the change im happier than i knew now i still have a little anxiety and anger and sometimes fall too but i can get up faster with you
Dear Anxiety,    How does it feel inside of my mind?  Where you like to torture me all of the time.    Making me believe things that aren’t true.  Like when you said “they’ll all laugh at you”.
The creatures scream and shout, From the winter boondocks of my mind, Oh, the things they scream about; Their gnarly, needy hands, Desperately attempting to grip my fate and my future,
What looms beyond the trees—a monster black.   I see his visage clear, and hear its moan.   I wait to feel the claws upon my back,   Then wrap around my neck intent to choke.  
  Through these perilous roads Under the cover Of the night sky Glaring forces Spring from the darkness And with pain at the temples
Will you wait for me?   As I stand on the edge of sand With water caressing between my toes  Back and forth, back and forth   There is a lull in the wind  Everything stops,
Alone in a crowded room, Searching for someone... anyone, I feel alone in this classroom, I see someone with a nice smile, My hope begins to bloom, The fear grows with each step,
Little WordsCreate the birdWho flew so highHe touched the sky.And when he tumbledTo the sandNo one heardDespite the birdWho got back upAnd tried again.
Do the French VHL Math HW #37 read p 209-213 p214 #1,5,17,20,27,30 Physics WS AP Chem Lab due tmr START the essay SSR due Dec 13 Test on Monday make study guide
One for airplanes, heights, ladders, and jumping headfirst  into lakes. Two for condescending,menacing, phony, fakes. Three for waiters, teenagers, blondes and the elderly.
you took away two years of my life. i was locked inside the confines of your walls and weighed down by a sense of hopelessness.   i fought with every breath to be free of your chains.
I come to the realisation  that  I can’t remember those winters,  the winters of my childhood.  It was really good at all times, and it was really bad.  Now it’s bad all the time. 
. . . right away, you’ll see it’s difficult to find: (That -- while it’s true, it’s only You able to see inside your, Mind, -- ) Lost thoughts often  become begotten
I can’t breathe right, My fingers twitch uncontrollably, People keep on speaking, They act like I’m okay. My brain feels like it’s breaking,
I'm in a room full of people Smilin' and laughin' And I can't bring my mind to joining them now or hereafter. I'm thinking about death, And I'm thinking about darkness.
You made me feel, Like there was nothing I could achieve.   And all my dreams, We’re too far out of reach.   You broke me down, And watched me cry.   And didn’t even care,
My friends are a drug. Each and everyone of them a pill. They block out my reality, And give me a high. But thats all it is…..a high. They don’t change my reality Or well being.
You hide behind hills, Curves of rock snaking up, Strangling The lakes and rivers-- Your tears. And the blades of grass, a fine-woven net To catch, To cut, To keep
How to run away from your life: 1. put on music to drown out your thoughts and s.t.r.e.s.s. 2. scroll through youtube and instagram to see what you've missed
My heart beats faster than my mind  Which is running somewhere else other than here It escapes to my home in West Virginia which is a thousand mile away from here  
Our monsters used to live under the bed, sparkly and purple “they’re not real,” we said Life was safe, monsters were fantasy,
Sometimes I wonder what it feels like to not constantly Worry about what people think of me, to not wonder if that woman on the other side of the room - that hasn’t even looked in my direction - is laughing at me or laughing at the completely rand
That dark slowly consumes me It’s like inching closer to infinity Is this what it’s like to not be able to see? Don’t touch me Or come near me
Perfect. A level of expectation that I’ve come to strive for despite the pain it causes.   It has grown to become a relief to see a 100% atop my paper,
She says stop thinking so hard I wish it was that easy She says stop worrying so much I wish it was that simple She says stop being so selfish I wish I was strong enough not to be
Atlas shakes Beneath the weight Of expectations Far too great He can not falter He can not fail His friends depend on him He must be there
Every day I wake up tied to my bed,
That was not me, that hapless, shaking girl clutching safety to her chest- Wringing every last drop out of sympathy. That was not me, but it was. I was golden and young,
Rest your head upon my fragile shoulder, Let my bones be your tired pillars. Craving death, it's nothing new You always tell me of your ache to bleed Your soul has been starved
i’m not used to being this sad anymore it’s like a distant relative that i once was very close to until i realized that that relationship was toxic and it took all of my strength to cut them off
Old habits die hard, Robert Frost and dying stars, Those are the things that made me.   Cherry blossoms now in bloom begin wilting on the stem.
When I was little, I used to be afraid of the dark. I was afraid of all kinds of things: spiders, vampires, snakes, and
Lonlieness is a curious little thing,it infects our thoughtstakes ahold of me sometimesIt makes me feel like no one would care.Like I'm alone in my thoughtsand that frightens me.Because I scare myself.
I struggle To wake up every morning, I find it hard To fall asleep at night. Getting up in front of a crowd is impossible, Breathe, I tell myself, BREATHE. There are people going through worse,
I sat down to write with just one task, it was quite clear: That all I had to do tonight was write about my fear Though this may seem quite easy, it is not, I can attest
 When he made her he said she was going to be smart and funny and kind and caring and she was going to have a boyfriend that she adores, that always calls her beautiful but she will have depression and anxiety
Deep in the forest, where the black moths play Lies a species of creature that may not have existed today They call themselves, "Dreadlox" from a tale Far too old, a sort of pixie-like creature
I lie awake thinking While staring at my ceiling About so many things To name a few: my day Tomorrow The paint chip on The wall
There's that one word... It keeps me from succeeding... Failure. It's bound to happen, So why try to be Successful? I do nothing Because I won't win. I miss chances
  My oh my, what is this deadly sensation? A sickening feeling, oh how I detest it. Like a chemical reaction, I feel the explosion Of a million thoughts, the mind's at the limit.  
Mom
Mom, my depression is a shapeshifter. One day it is as small as a firefly in the palm of a bear, the next it's the bear. On those days I play dead until the bear leaves me alone.
lost my belief near river streams waters were splattering my elbows by stratosphere beaming grin I said some things left your eyebrows in Jupiter promise you'll send doves to me
White Daisy, so delicate  so pure of touch. Deadly promises and broken ways turned your once pure soul dark. What created the blackness now coating, covering the white?
There is an unspoken fear Of the fear that lies within. Of the fear boiling in my veins, Of the fear peeling back my eyelids at 1 a.m. I say nothing.
There is an unspoken fear Of the fear that lies within. Of the fear boiling in my veins, Of the fear peeling back my eyelids at 1 a.m. I say nothing.
No one wants to be friends with the depressed kid Or the one with crippling anxiety That poor child who was traumatized, but Everyone steps away when she needs help When the evil Dark
I wake up each day, a new dawn,  a new beginning, filled with new possibilities  letting yesterday's failures fade and yet they stick to me like the sap from a tree. 
I.   Every emotions we have has its colors Others were basically there to brighten Like happiness, always there to enlighten
Ink on a page Filled with color Lines of stories never told Sequences of secrets Never unfold People never breathed into creation
I feel safest by the water where I am free  and my thoughts are my own to feel without fear or judgement. I feel safest by the water;  I can hear God speak,  he whispers truth into my ear,
I can't hold on, I can't let go... I keep on breathing But each breath is suffocating. My heart keeps pounding But in my own blood, I'm sinking.
Press start to begin Fighter thrown into battle Decked out in armor   It is just a game It’s a game you want to win Excited, you run  
Through the hollows, into the grey Across the rolling hills of pain Run all night till the darkest day. When shadows behind the mists play Charge forward to the silent rain
Heart pounding too fast,can't breathe,soul locked in the dizzy cageas I spin to the frequency of the world too fast, too loud.It's all crashing down now.I am TNT lit at both ends,
When you live with anxiety for so long it almost becomes a routine in your head. Like a clock ticking in the background as you try go along with your day ignoring the thoughts that still exist in your head.
Nervous pangs and tattering thoughts The impending terror of my dreams lay before me. Psychology tells physiology to shut its mouth but biology gives in: Close my eyes and count to three  
  Everytime I see someone since my uncle’s been gone, they tell me how different I look How I cut my hair short How my acne cleared up How my lips aren’t chapped anymore
The darkness is creeping up on me. It's up to my neck, I'm barely swimming.. not swimming at all, honestly... I'm drowning in darkness The tendrils wrapping around my neck
Dear Anxiety, You are my closet friend, the one I've come to know. You have demanded control over me and my life, the makings of the walls inside my mind.
She let down my pride, my spirits. I let her do that. I let my anxiety awknowledge my excistence instead of myself. I was crying. Crying a lot.
My heart is racing, I don't know why it keeps beating really fast. Each day I wake up, putting on this mask. I get afraid to do certain things, very easy, simple tasks.
Let me tell you a secret. I live my life, chained To the bottom of the ocean Where blues meet blacks And no matter how hard I struggle-
Walking slowly, earbuds turned all the way up Running quickly from the mentors in my head, chasing me. The bad Decisions, the good Decisions. Anxiety yelling I'm never good enough-
The only times my theater class is ever quiet is during lockdowns.  
Anxiety grabbed a hold of me I was only sixteen  It tried to destroy me  and then it shaped me in to who I was supposed to be   Without these struggles, I could have never known
How to thank someone    to whom I owe everything?  The silent struggle   with this new stranger    unable to trust    my heart crying, “danger”.  The silence stretched     in a power struggle     while I stared at the wall    not moving a muscle. 
Those black and white keys That every person sees Is significant to me One woman changed my life When lessons began one night When life became depressing She was my biggest blessing
I come from blurry images that look back at me from the mirror I say I'm beautiful but harsh words from the past hit me like a pair of Anvils weighing down on me Bulying hurts and lays skin deep
It's nights like this Where my mind is a cage My thoughts rattling around behind the bars Negativity Hate Anxiety Insecurity Screaming at my from every angle I can't process my thoughts
And then three years later and look at us now.. We were talking about marriage & having some kids in the house. Man nothing ruins a relationship quicker than doubt. Used to say you were so confident in what we had.
just one more breath nice and slow, think it through isn't life or death; see? what do you want to do I wish this wasn't me   living with this constant cage no peace for my mind
Insecure souls,Walking on their own dead bodies,Emotionless, coz they don't care, even less,
Gravitating backwards she declines, Liquifying to earths compressions, Ruined but intertwined, Cannot bypass innocent transgression.   Paved away from those dementions, Couldn't shake her desolation,
Taking a day's anxiety and turning it into a burning desire by walking into a kitchen and make a flambe with fire.   Turning a day of self doubt into an impeccible entree,
Less a coach, more a teacher In our practices you were a preacher My confidence wavered from experiences past But a man like you knew how to bring me out Out of my shell, you brought this change about
my head is constantly telling me I am scared, I am anxiety chest hurts, nervous, taking prescriptions panic attacks, pain, and other mind numbing symptoms but through and through I try to find hope
Here I sit Without me Without you I feel like my throat is closing in Im not sure what this feeling is Doom Doom comes over me without warning I feel like I need to scream but can't
A thousand words can mean a thousand things A thousand thought can make a human being  A thousand words locked in my head A thousand drops of blood down my hand A thousand people in a room
To get away from reality I fall into a fantasy Created by my own anxiety   Fear flowing from my feet to my head I mess up relationships instead By overthinking way ahead  
every noise crash snap or shout   followed by a jump or a yelp or a flinch
The happy starts to fade, my hands they begin to shake my eyes fill with tears and i am running away my breath starts to catch and i am searchng for a hiding place
She looks at the mirror with glistening tears staring at what nobody else could ever see. Scars invisible to the world mar all of her thoughts in regard to what she could be and what she sould see
i dont know if im really who i say i am if im happy if im great who knows what i am no one but me. but im making sure that even knows my image and my heart im sad and happy who i am limbo i just want to obtain that one thing every human desires ha
It pounds against the confines of my head Throbbing, pulsing from within Flooding my skull with blinding pressure, It seeks release  
A thousand eyelids fluttering in the dim light Millions of whispers piled deep into my head
Surrounded by voices; I was a <murmur>.  Fear had stolen my lips away, Locked them in a vault under the sea-   Why?   My mind was confused.
My mentor was trappped in another world in my tormentors PTSD, Anxiety, Depression a supression of myself I've stuggled against it, I've tried to deny them It made me feel as though I didn't fit.
The salty liquid rolls down like a water fall, staining rosy cheeks before falling upon the black sheets. A fragile silence unbroken remains as no sound is permitted to escape the locked up lips which hide away
with time comes responsibilty. only those who can partake in such things such as a job are said to live happy but does money makes us "human" does being wealthy make us proud and lovable?
A/N: This is better served as a performance piece, as it is the first Slam poem I ever wrote. So I will indicate actions in my performance with *asterisks*  
Feel free to be quiet Feel free to move out Your voices won't quit I really need you out I can't think  I can't speak I am lost and confused I feel used Please, stop telling me what to do
The Broken Girl In front Of You Poem By: L.R.Joslin  
my body is buzzing frantic static inside my head my blood runs cold my skin burns hot my vision blurs i need it to STOP! why won’t it stop? i don’t feel real anymore
An antagonizing demon festered a feeling of imminent destruction within this decaying body
Slipping through lost in the shadows of my mind. Losing to my pain and selfdoubt. Slowly I become consumed by my past. Blinded by my lack of faith I refuse to see the shining
Slipping through lost in the shadows of my mind. Losing to my pain and selfdoubt. Slowly I become consumed by my past. Blinded by my lack of faith I refuse to see the shining
As I hold my soul and struggle to breathe, my fears forcefully constrict my mind and soul. Trivial matters mutate and deform into vital disturbing monsters. The monsters have no claws or fangs.
A dog named Hunger gnaws on my stomach Growls at me whenever I cannot eat Demands my attention while I’m in class He has a sister who lives in my mind Her name is Anxiety While she does not bite me
End
End: A cut on my arm A cut on my leg How have I been so brave? They me what happened as i’m bleeding out
by Ariel Douglas (27 October 2016)   What do you see? My smile? My fidgeting? What do you hear? My chatter? My rambling? What do you feel?
The ghost that whispers doubt in your ear.   The fear that makes you afraid of everything.   The immediate action of either fight or flight.   Something that sticks with you and rarely leaves.  
In an era where the only feeling is time That nurtures a budding, all-consuming longing A never ending cycle of living, “Should it end?”
I wish  you were not here  but since you are be my fuel   It's hard to breathe and it's hard to focus but you are here be my fuel   It takes so much to do so little
ANXIETY   The endless thoughts, The hesitations. The stomach aches, Headaches, Tears. Holding herself back,
ANXIETY   The endless thoughts, The hesitations. The stomach aches, Headaches, Tears. Holding herself back,
i’m breathing in and out rapid and unsteady i have serious doubt finding i am unready   i don’t know what to do i’m pacing i couldn’t possibly see this through my heart is racing  
You only see my tears when I laugh But can't see my wounds and scars inside. You only listen to what you hear
Fake smiles and fake laughs stop you from asking questions. Haven't you noticed yet and learned a lesson? The depression makes me want to talk and express what I'm feeling.
Sometimes by Brandon Arthur King Sometimes, the brightest lights cast the darkest shadows.
this is what depression feels like or something else. Anxiety? My head is spinning and is thinking about things other than this world,
It’s because I love the orange tint And hand painted clouds Dipped in neon pinks and yellows
It’s been a while since we’ve been acquainted. I think about you when I’m watching turned backs instead of faces The refreshing feeling of venting to blank paper
Reading and writing poetry speaks to the soul,  Sometimes you have to fall before you reach your goal. I would often question myself and ask who am I? Why am I doing this? Is it worth a try?
I was taught to free my mind I was taught to leave my pain behind I was taught to travel to a different time Without ever leaving my room behind I was taught to be free In which it helped with my anxiety
I remember the day And the shame that followed When I asked for help And my fear I swallowed They asked me questions How long I'd felt this way How my life was at home If I felt I'd lost my way
ok
is this ok? am i ok? is it ok that i exist?   always the questions  that continue to persist in the mind of mankind   always the struggle  to overcome to continue in a game
ok
is this ok? am i ok? is it ok that i exist?   always the questions  that continue to persist in the mind of mankind   always the struggle  to overcome to continue in a game
 What poetry has taught me is easy to see.  It's made me actually deal with, well, me.   I have learned that it's okay to have insecurities. It's alright to acknowledge the anxiety.   
My heart is heavy. It is a bomb planted inside me, Ready to explode within the walls of my chest.     My chest is tight. My lungs fail me.
I always seem to findmyself here. These cement blocks,jutting out of the dirt likemoss-covered stepping stones.They lead the way and beckon me witha brittle finger. But you are nothere.
It felt natural to be writing like this. Words flowing from my pencil onto the blank white paper. Writing was always easy for me growing up.
You are a galaxy. A collection of beautiful fragments that shine.   You are a galaxy. The planets that orbit your mind are home to brilliance.  
Enid Ibarra Human: A Lesson   When I was fourteen, I pressed my hand against A stranger’s chest and learned that a heart Has four chambers and cannot feel
I'm plummeting down Into my deepest worries Can I survive this?
I'm plummeting down Into my deepest worries Can I survive this?
I am quiet most of the time. I just stare and think. My words get frozen within my lungs. And I believe my thoughts are deadly. People tend to ask me, "why are you so quiet?"
You sit and stare out at the fieldYou shut your eyes and form a shield.Where did you go wrong?The words and insults form a song.You’re such a fake friend!
I hesitate. Replaying your comment in my head. Say something. Say anything. Speak up. Speak OUT. But enough though I want to, I don't say anything.   I don't.
You scare me. I´m afraid to talk to you Afraid of what I might give And what I might get back   You scare me. I´m afraid to stand with you
Wallet. Keys. Food for work. Check. Anxiety rises with every minute that gets closer to my shift. Leaving my house is hard because I'm afraid I'll lose something and be stuck out there. Wallet. Keys. Still there.
by Ariel Douglas (28 October 2014)   I am a beast I am an animal I am trapped in an unforgiving cage I am destructive and I am broken
Bloodshot eyes Clear despite the rain Breaths as silent as they are translucent Dark circles
sometimes it feels like I am screaming underwater;my words are just bubbles of gasping air.then I look around
Sweet soft rhymes rhythmic against ears so eager Eat every word with sweet salivating stealth Poems provoke pieces of me Hanging on the quatrain I quiver through questions of who I am
I don’t enjoy speaking out In social situations The unfamiliar – thinly veiled- And uncomfortable Trembling in my voice As I say something that does not sound – does not Emit – what I want to say and
One o'clock strikes A time of night not many dare seek Weary limbs move Begging for rest   Two o'clock strikes Another hour gone by 'Why oh Why' she cries Rest is far  
Breathe, in and out Curtains closed, Slowly open Smile, Bigger, Happier Don't shake, Don't show your nerves   Move, Grace, and poise Children watch and Dream One day it will be them
it never stops the noise within  no breaks no holidays no timeouts  Consistency  Intensity waves of volume weigh me down particular voices come to mind always pessimestic
the mirror isnt my true friend  she wont reflect my fantasy land instead exposing the world in a aggressive manner where i cant unsee the ugly truth i cover my eyes to reside inside myself 
I'm afraid of heights, but that's not all. There are no ropes in case I fall. Now that I'm an adult it seems, the only escape from anxiety is in my dreams.   I would love to wake up one day,
It's been a year.A year since you broke me.   It's been a year since you cut into my fleshBefore I even got the chance toAfter telling me how horrible it is.  
Grew up on planet earthBut wandered oftenSaw the eyes of friends and felt ashamedMistook the softness for the angerLed to the fogged chaos, to the sadnessTo the lonely nights that hissed and heated
I feel the walls close in on me As I feel the hinges of panic crawl onto my skin And the inklings of my mind. The beast has been let out of their cage again Because I forgot to obey their orders swimmingly. Now they've turned violent against me I
Please don’t look   Don’t look Because I don’t know if I can say this if you do   Turn your back and listen But listen to me
He is quiet. He is calm. He always sits in the darkest corners. He is not safe. He is dangerous. He is deadly.
  A jumbled, hurt feeling A word, a sentence Hope to bring healing A heart filled with repentance   You bring me relief
I would say I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place, But sometimes, it’s more like I’m stuck between a rock and the ground. I’m pinned in place, and I can’t move.
there’s a woman who wasn’t the best mother   she had depression it was quite sad even tried to take her life  
The piercing of the gunshot and the race between my heart and mind is on And just like the pounding of running feet on the pavement, my heart is racing But it is the only thing I can hear
My life. My life?  I sit in class staring at the wall.  The teacher spewing "knowledge"  I am lost. Lost in my thoughts until I realize I have not been thinking. 
Imagine waking up early and feeling all happy Then by nine pm, you've got all snappy The girl you loved is now a whore And you're one wrong word from a hole in the wall
IT GETS BETTER. It seems like such a cliche. Honestly, I know how it sounds, and how those words make you feel: annoyed, devalued, misunderstood. It seems like a lie, it feels impossible,
Why is the floor suddenly made out of little bits of him, and her and them and why is it so bad to step on that bit: makes me SICK to my inner bits,makes me shake sweat and hate.
What will you remember me by? The hair out of place or the smile on my face A sentence in the back of the book The way I act or the way I look?
I forgot I’m forgetting I’m forgotten Since I got away from you for solid years, Built up confidence like a Berlin wall that separated my mind from people like you.
Through the words flowing from this pen, almost seamlessly it feels, I have discovered what lies in the deepest corners of my mind, things I never imagined I could touch.   People have always told me,
A shiny, new, bustling city.Full of people.Each with ideas.Each with thoughts.Each with emotions.  But then It starts. 
Ever sense that day, all anyone can say is "How are you doing?" I respond with the simple and basic answer I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, Thanks These two words are the thin veil that protects me from them...
I have always been the small girl. The short girl ,the skinny girl, the I can wrap my fingers around her wrist girl. The eat a cheeseburger girl.
When I told my friend that I liked a boy she was ecstatic. She gushed. She squealed. She urged me forward. When I told my friend he asked me out she screamed. She laughed. She yelled. She asked me when we were going out.
I have a little blade box, It's hidden by my bed. It hides all the secrets,  I can't keep in my head. So if I'm feeling bad, or want to sink into the dew, I grab my little blade box,
My mind is a ferocious beast That feeds off of dismal and harrowing memories. Oh no, is it time for the feast?   It feels as if I am deceased. The monster putting my mental state in jeopardy,
Blood drips onto the floor from the knives in my back Tears flood from my eyes as it all goes black I let people hurt me because I trust too much
I could get lost in the beatuy of your eyes Compare the, to the beatuy of nature Crystal blue lakes, perciuos gems I could say they remind me of home Of feeling safe Call your eyes bright as the stars
my heart aches at the knowledge that i’ve loved you for forever but forever is coming to an end.
Jump, fall, land, splat.Who ever said that? Not the twisted face he sees,though it drove him to his knees. Not the voices in the dark,though they surely made their mark.
As the colors fade and slowly turn to grey, I rise from the ashes, color blossoming from within me.  I hear a whisper behind me, But I dare not look back.
You are cryptic A knot I cannot untie I'm sorry if I hurt you I wouldn't quite know Since you keep it so Guarded from me As if I hurt you But I'm not sure how I'm sorry I'm sorry
I am a politically conscientious, theater-obsessed English nut, An extrovert with anxiety and an unquenchable taste for scary books and movies,
It started off as an escape An honest distraction, Just to reshape The always-constant never-ending never-ceasing never-stopping Reaction in my body tensing-up-ing heart-a-pounding hard-to-breathe-ing
My mind is always m   o     v       i         n           g             y         e       l     l   i n   g s              c
"Be yourself again." They say.I want to be all that and more.But how can I  go back to being something,That I never even knew?And how can you find yourself,
You don’t understand that when I say “It was hard for me to get out of bed today,” it was because I had to peel myself
i’ve been trying to find love in a billion relationships and i’ve tried everything i can to make myself feel something and i’ve pushed my feelings so far behind walls and i’ve pushed people away to get free
I want to do my homework But he prevents me from doing so. I want to practice my violin But he tells me I couldn't do it anyway. I want to have fun with my family and friends But he wants all of us to suffer.
I’m thinking St. Jude has got a hold on me My head my hands my head Shaking so violently Hand me a bottle, babe I can’t breathe I need to breathe
But alas, I sit in this barren, cold room. Very much solitude. No sun, no moon.  Storm nor shine do I find. Dark nor light existing. Just space, space and confusion, doubt, and worry.  Running, chasing invisible dreams. Dreams so unreal, dreams so
The baby was tucked into bed, Quietly breathing, slightly smiling The mother was laying down right beside her, Mentality breaking, silently wondering
I’m scared of losing my ability to write Like the way essays seem to escape me right before i have an idea
To vent is to relieve yourself To benefit one’s personal health To hold things in you are at risk So let it out   Do not resist   Cry, whisper, shout, speak Don’t hang on 
I'm breaking it off You put a chain around my brain I'm finally taking it off I know it's gonna be hard Well I'm making it soft Until I'm recalibrated, rededicated
Dear Anxiety, For the longest time, I never knew you were with me. When I did, though, it became perfectly clear. You taught me that I needed to be perfect, but with perfection came some issues.
To my dear depressing thoughts,   You’ve been apart of my life for so long. Living, breathing and hurting inside of me. Its been awhile since I’ve felt you. I’m sure you’ve come back to open my wounds again.
Push. Push. Toss. Catch. Turn. Smile. Point. Breath. Don't let your feelings get the best of you.
Dear Mr. Salvador Dalí,   You were onto something. People think you were on something. I think you get it better than any of us can.
Dear Fear,   Crippled you have made me past, and dawned with dread in every other thought. Like that which called me, plead  to be a draught that I could drink and find no rest.  
Dear Anxiety,   Thanks to you, my friends, Will to Live and Love, have left my  Heart.  I try to reason with you, trying to get you to Stop.  
Dear Anxiety,   You need to go Take a trip to Moscow I’ll cut you off the way Van Gogh Cut off his ear  
Dear _______,   I won’t give you a name. You know who you are And I know, too.   I’m trying to forget. I’m trying to let go of the Little obstacles I’ve been through.  
Dear Anxiety, I guess I didn’t know what was down or up the road All I knew was as I got older my happiness started to corrode As the masses started asking
In the chthonian cacophony of this Fast-paced world, that never stops, never halts Always turns, always runs, Coffee drinking, Not really thinking
Why can't you just be happy? My brain is hardwired for sadness You look tired. Are you sleeping? Sometimes. It's hard to fall asleep Why is it so hard to fall asleep?
Dear Anxiety, A, Fuck you. B, I'm so tired of it. I just want to be free of you. The feelings of not doing enough, being enough.
To the one who haunts me most:   I shove my feet into the boots and pray nobody sees me shake. Every morning, I wake up with a sense of regret lingering in my system.Drip.
Dear Anxiety, Not a day goes by where I am without you Not a day goes by where I like you From holding me back To making me cry From filling my head with negatvity To making me freeze
To the people who don’t understand why I won’t let them touch me,   I’ve built a wall between friends, family, and others. And fucking think again if you thought I had any lovers.
Hey little me,   I know that nothing has been okay, and I know that you're afraid. I know that you're alone. I know that all of the scrapes and bruises they are nothing compared to what can't be seen.
Dear Anxiety I can't breathe. I can't breathe. At least I think I feel like, I cant breathe. The world is so big. Yet I am so small. I can't leave my house. I can't leave my room.
You want me to talk about the realness of this - fine I believe I am so depressed that it should be a disability I feel like my insides are rotting and turning into
To the monster inside of me, You’ve had your fun, You thought you prevailed, You thought you had won.   I never thought it would end, 
I wish they knew how it feels to be me. I wish I could cry for help, fall to the ground and… I wish they knew that award ceremonies are lose-lose situations
Dear hands, Stop shaking stop picking. I wish you'd be still and Stop scratching stop flicking.   Listen,
Dear Her, I saw Her wrists.  I saw the scars. I have not forgiven myself for failing to save Her. I do not know how to refrain from losing Her again.
Dear Anxiety,   Please leave me alone. ( Why?) You do not need to constantly question every action I make (Are you sure?)
dear nicholas and twila,   when i was so much younger i was sad and often cried i always felt alone no matter how hard i tried  
My eyes may be closed, But you'll never catch me sleeping. I run my hand, cold, Over scars with heavy breathing.   Even now it stings, Indentions deeper than remembered.
I’m scared to write an essay. The computer I’m sitting at is humming and the wood under my wrists are vibrating
My anxiety attacking me like my racing heart when I cup my ears too hard as I count to 287. Crying because I want to be happy, But tired of that fucking dysphoria making me wish for misery.
I write these thoughts to clear my mind from the piles of blunt ended metaphorical clutter that may, or may not have cadence. Their long winded flow,
Dear Anxiety,   It seems strange to be writing to you When you feel just like another part of me, An extra appendage that I can’t amputate
Dear Fear,  You are my closest friend You live inside my head and decide what's best  You keep my grades high so I can follow my dreams You keep home and safe from all danger
Voices inside my head They cloud my mind Keeping me up at night—they call my name A little here, a little there I must be crazy
January 29, 2018     Dear all those who love me,   It sits there menacingly, waiting It’s come back around, and it’s ready for a fight I’ve prepared my armor…my guns
Dear anxiety, Yesterday I saw an old friend at the mall but I didn’t say hello because of you.  We used to be good friends but ever since I moved it hasn’t been the same. It was because of you.  
Not much has changed, looking back, in a year When more often than not there are days with your tears Flooding my own and lifting the ships That I sent my demons away to drown in;
Alone, that is how I felt How we felt. As I look back and realize You were never alone, you Had your thoughts, your dreams, and your goals.  They scared you. They broke you, they broke us.
Dear Anxiety,   My heart races when you are near. My hands become sweaty as you whisper in my ear.   A tingle up my spine. You have always been mine.
Dear anxiety, Can we please just take a break, this relationship is dragging on and you’re  an unwelcome guest. You’ve been a poison to my serenity and fuel for my fears. Go home anxiety, you’re no longer wanted here. Sincerely,
Dear Anxiety,   You always seem to find yourself in my head I can’t keep up with you, I hate this feeling of dread You keep my hands sweaty and my stomach feeling funny
Hey,  It has been a while A while since you have sat down and took a breath. You are reading this because you feel burdened,       maybe by something self-afflicted,      maybe by a matter of circumstance.
Zip Zap Zed   There’s a ghost who follows me And whispers in my ear. I only Hear her in the silence. And the Things she says haunts me dearly.   I learned to live in the noise.
Dear Thorn in my side, You haven’t always had your razor-sharp point embedded in my skin.  
What is it like not to hurt I wonder What is it like to not be filled with pain I wonder What is it like to live every day Healthy, safe, free With just what you need And knowing everything is okay
How could you let me down? My dear brain, your power is so immense But you lash out on me.   Why me?   For once let me have one thought one idea
To overcome others is strong.To overcome oneself is the will of power.  I try to convince myselfThat I am the best actress to ever walk the earth,And that the hole concaving in my chestIs simply a understudy for my sadness.  To overcome others is
Dear Fear, I was told by a character in a cute little movie that you used caution to keep me safe— —So please explain to me why I’m scared of sharks in my swimming pool.
No one is like me This is a blessing and a curse No one is as detail oriented as I am No one thinks like me
Dear stress,
Dear, Yang I'm stuck in this room man I cant get out  Shivers down my spine, without a doubt  I'm stuck on this bed
you can only get so deep before bursting into tears being vulnerable is hard before it’s easy where’s the key that opens up all the locks 
God why can’t I talk fluently to others? My words become indistinct, just fragments In my head their fervour cause a shutter An impact captivating like a comet
Dear Poetry, Thank you for always being there. I mean, I'd be worried if you ran away from me Black scribbles flying off the page making me double check my prescriptions
Dear depression,               As the tears  stream down my face I begin to feel like A disgrace “we cant help you if you don’t speak” Is what they always say But what they do not know
After a while you grow tired of hearing it.At first, it's the worst.How could you say that?How dare you say that?Who are you to tell me what I choose?  
Dear God, I'm screaming, I'm shaking, I'm dead inside.  I want to be good enough and believe me, I tried. So I take a deep breath and I count to three.  I imagine the person that I wish I could be.
Dear Anxiety, What if they don’t pick me? What if I am not good enough? What if I don’t win any scholarships at all? What if I write the worst letter they’ve seen?
Today I miss Being mentally stable Being hale and whole Having a brain with chemicals made and mixed In the right proportions
I think the day you told me That the words ‘post-traumatic stress disorder’ Could be applied to my name Is the day I was truly went crazy.   The day that poems started falling
I’m kind of sick and kind of sad But if I’m honest Neither one really fits ‘Cause only a few have hearts good enough For life to take an ice cream scooper And dig the carton of their soul hollow
rain slips down my windshield like a broken mirror endless skewed versions of everything are reflected back to me I forgot how to turn on the wipers they’re only supposed to run on high
Dear LittleVoice, I hope you know that you lost It's been almost three years now and even if you do come back, I'll be ready I know you now
Why won’t you just leave me alone? I don’t want you around - I never have. But apparently, I can’t get a restraining order against my own mind.  
Dear anxiety,          You've been with me my whole life                                Not like a loving mother who cares for me
I've never been fond of the cold days although i like staying in where it's warm and safe but sometimes  i need  freedom on the cold days especially I need adventure
Keep searching for the lyrics of a broken heart But no words can really express the pain that I feel No one will ever understand the life I have lived So I am left here to write this myself.  
dear anxious self, when your brain cannot stop thinking and your heart beats in object terror at things only the mind’s eye sees - breathe.  
Dear Anxiety,
to the monsters under my bed//  
Anxiety, What triggered you this time? Was it the way that man looked at us on the street? Was it the test we have in chem. tomorrow?
There may be times when you are feeling down, when someone blows your rekindling ember, and you can't help but put the biggest frown, or raise the flag in white to surrender in front of many people who've shamed you
I want to die So I can be as free as a butterfly I want to die My friends feel like they are passing me by I want to die All of my plans have gone awry
I would politely ask you to stop talking and the red would show through but i’d force it down to a meek whisper my fingers twitch itch and fiddle
Dear Future Self,   Do you remember the beat The thumping of feet Up and down the halls In and out of classrooms
they say we don't write letters but I wrote 'em just last year christmas alone the only thing I wanted was to speak but he was    cities   towns   states  
Dear Anxiety, We have known each other for far too long  I was six when you first came rapping on my door  You loomed there like the grim reaper With your chains of fear and worry you tied me down
Alone, Alone. I am alone. Not a friend in the world, No one to listen, No one to care.
Dear ex-lover,    You say that it's not always about me as if this fear of not being enough of ruining every good thing in my life
Dear Anxiety,
Dear God, I'm worried, I know where my life is headed, But even then, I feel that I don't have direction, I know what I want to do, But even then, Is it the right thing?
It was the way he chewed on his nails until his fingers were raw.  the way he trembled and studdered and looked around  like he was watching out for something. 
Present in class, under the antiseptic light of the lecture hall my words infect the air, and my fat brass opinion dissipates into discussion. The next hand raises
Dear friend,   I love seeing you every morning.   Your presence makes me shutter.   I enjoy our small talk. It's nice.   Sometimes there's silence. It's nice.  
How could she not understand The pain she is causing her children She believes that my father will take all of us And he isn't holding us captive its our choice
Dear Stranger,   Anxiety is like a whirlwind of emotions that hits you all at once You may feel happy then boom; you are hit by an overwhelming thought of panicky sadness! Your heart begins to race
My eyes used to shine so bright but then it changed. Time passed days, weeks, months a year had gone by. I couldn’t remember the last time I had smiled with ease.
What's it like  being buried alive  six feet under  the ocean's floor    My brain a snack  for fanciful creatures what's it like   I scream for help, but the ocean swallows
Dear Nerves,   Blame I cast, to you.   When I meet someone new and reach out to shake their hand
Dear Mr. Woods, can you let me out without ever letting me go, Mr. Woods? The rain pours and weighs down your branches, now I'm soaked from head to toe, Mr. Woods.
Dear 2017, Thank you. Thank you for the pain. Thank you for the hurt. Thank you for the tears. Thank you for the hardships.
To others that do not understand, they call you jitters, uneasiness, or maybe worries but you are so much more than what it may seem.  You are anxiety, misery in its purest form
my fingers tingle  my knuckles white  i grasp my hopes  “it’ll be alright” but nothing changes  they start to slip  through the cracks  that aren’t newly broken 
Dear You,   This is my least favorite part of my day. I can never escape her eyes. And my body can never escape her judgments.   "Bent, broken, barbed" That's all she seems to say as her nails
I failed my major. I came outside crying. It was worse than a bad audition. It was my entire plan being crushed in front of me. "You've improved, but you're just not ready yet."
I can feel it The wind rushing through my hair The gentle tug of my face as that breeze goes quickly past me I love this feeling This freedom
With slouching back and drowned out eyes, shaking skin and writhing. "It will be okay!" they lie, but they all no nothing. Sleepless nights and restless days, the looming feeling always stays,
Dear teachers,   At 11 years old, I sprained my ankle. I got to sit out of gym until it healed. Gradually, I nursed it back to its full strength
Welcome to the place where my mind often wanders Welcome to the corner of my brain where my doubts lie Where my anxieties are written in red ink, because in black ink I write my history, and blue is where I write my sorrow.
My mind is a computer, It plays games, Process information, Turns to power-saving mode.   But if this is true, Then what are my disorders?   They are flash drives,
Every morning when I wake up I lieI tell myself everything will be okayI go a put on a smileIt takes everything for me to smileIt takes everything for me to pretend Every day when I work I lie
Breath init hurts Breath outit hurts Breath init hurts Breath outit hurts In thru my mouth out through my nose
Darling, Have you found the right route, or are you wasting time? Why do you keep all things in mind, in your mind? It's sad to see you go this way, but I must release you.
Leaves crumple under my feet as my eyes are fogged by my layered tears. I’m walking under the brightest street lights, but still feeling completely in the
If only you knew the lengths I would go to be able to tell you how much I love you. Or the amount of pain I would endure to spend another night falling asleep in your arms.
Sometimes, I think it would be nice to peel off my skin in strips like string cheese. Sometimes, I think it would be cool to be frozen solid like a Popsicle. Growing up a good girl with a bad brain is strange.
i get scared on the longer days,   dear and you, inquisitive, know the blush…       ...the blushing reason why   i get scared
Because I am not who you want me to beYou criticize, chastise, and punish meCurse me to the end of the Earth,And throw your religion in my face.  
My anxiety haunts me.And no, it's not the usual "under the bed" or "inside the closet" ghostThis is a "inside my heart" ghostA "something is holding me against my bed" ghostA "I can't breathe" ghost
I woke up one morning,And I forgot I was dead.The clock on the wall insisted it was midday,The sun coming through the window seemed to agree.The date on the calendar insisted today was real,
Dear any and all, It starts with a search. “I think I might be sick,” you type, fingers hesitant because each word, each letter you feel like, is crying out to the world, with the quietest of voices. Look at me. Look at me.
To those with anxiety.... cripplling, illogical, unforgiving, and neverending... an unwanted presense in our life. something we are forced to live with. the reality is this "disorder" is nothing.
Dear Obsession,   Consuming my mind Controlling my life Lying in bed
End
Dear Life, It's a burning mess, and I'm one of the flames; Terminally depressed because it's all the same. Another Saturday night and it's one a.m., You're back on my mind, I just need to win.
Dear Ryan,   You didn’t know me way back when… I struggled to read with my kin, Mom studied by day and worked by night. Dad held three jobs, struggling with all his might.  
Another night where sleep decided to delay its arrival. Thoughts swirled in her head like a whirlpool that sucked her to its depths.
dear anxiety,   you have been with  me for what feels  like eons, now.   you have whispered honey-coated words that have stuck  to my ears like the syrup
Dear Anxiety, Are you the reason my life is a mess? Or is it just me, My imagination, My endless misconception? Are you the reason my dad left? Or was it because my mom was young, 
Ego
Dear Love, What’s been on my mind? An eternal pain. A constant pain.   It's a movement of anxiety and worry that slowly quivers through my body.
Have you ever felt like you can’t get out of bed? You feel you literally cannot get dressed? Like you have no energy to pick up a fork? Or put on a shirt? No interest or ability to concentrate on anything?
I am nothing   This world tells me to be something but… they only make me feel like nothing. This world wants me to spread positivity but their negativity makes me angry.
Your alarm clock starts to yell at youTelling you the morning has arrivedYou argue,Burrowing into the blankets wishing for more,More time,More warmth,But the sun is peaking over the smoky mountains
This year has been a rollercoaster. It’s been awhile since I’ve been on One of these rides. Just when I try to Steady myself atop a hill of these
Dear Childhood, I wish I had gotten to know you better How long ago was it that I left? It was certainly early
You people talk of drowning You who know what I know   I wish that I was drowning Then maybe my plight would show   Instead I’m trapped here swimming
When you first look at her, You notice not her glassy eyes, Or her carefully done up locks.   You notice the glinting medallion Hanging from her neck.
You push me around, You say it's just harmless fun, Well that is, you say that to the teachers and adults. To me it's more than that. You force me to smile and say 'I am fine,' Even though, I'm not.
Good morning! By good morning, I mean it’s a good thing that you made it through the night. The night is a liar. Maybe not. Sometimes I confuse my anxiety with the night, something like insomnia?
Dear friends, family and anyone else this letter reaches,  
So much depends upon the proper playground pick-me-ups And picking perennial playground buttercups
There is a girl sitting in front of me I have known her for years and Though we are not friends we Are not acquaintances either She is talking about something
Let me tell you a little something about my anxiety First of all it’s a she She who told me that I didn’t lock the door of my house whenever I go out
Why can't I just be a bird, that reaches up to the sky looking down at all the views and always free to fly? Why can't I just be the sun,
Lost...Broken... Wandering in a wilderness of despair, Standing in the shadows of shadows becoming invisible again..The glow of the infidelic sun no longer exists...
It was the way he chewed on his nails until his fingers were raw.  The way he trembled and studdered and looked around like he was watching out for something.  Fidgeting and stumbling on his words,
As I sit in my chair, typing away at my computer, I feel eyes, watching me. Not bad eyes. No harm is intended, I can tell. But someone, perhaps more than one person, watches me.
My anxiety cripples me I take it on as a first line of defense My tongue’s as sharp as a knife, I’ll cut you with my words until you bleed apologies I’m the kind of anxious that gets too comfortable
The overwhelming exhale as I awake from a nightmare, those endless encounters with the fear of isolation, only drives me to become a more compelling individual who's mind is yet to be freed from torment and confusion. 'Expect the unexpected' the c
Well, there was this girl, She lives her life as a lie, She continues to explore the world of sin,But instead she feels dead inside As she took the blade And her body swayedShe’s thinking'“WorthlessPatheticUselessPsychoticI was born at the wrong t
my thoughts float around me in clouds of periwinkle and gold. ribboned stardust, mesmerizing me amidst the inky darkness of navy blue that blankets my mind   i often gaze up at them
I’ve been contemplating for the past three days,Words to describe my precise emotions,And I become embarrassed by myself,For not even being able to, in such a s
Let me tell you a story
Of her heavy mind that cried 
Every night to the moonlight
As she always questioned why.
Let me tell you a
Dear depression I don't want you anymore These gloomy dark days you give me were never fun Yet you continue scarring me  so now I don't know if it's you or me in my bathroom mirror
 1. Catch a feeling, connect that feeling to the way that butterfly wings flutter, shutter. The way the wind protests against the trees, creating music with a breeze. 2.
Death is knocking at my door  again tonight I’m trying so hard to slam the door in his face But each day it gets a little harder He’s been persistent comin round every night
My nerves shatter does it really matter Everything's a blur It's too bright my stomach turns Closing my eyes i put my head in my heads and sounds you can't hear are driving me batty
Nothing seems to be going as planned No matter how hard I try it's never good enough Though i'm surrounded by people  it often feels as though i'm alone
To my doubt, Have you ever wondered what it would be like to live a life free of you and to have a heart  unburdened with  thoughts of worry and woe. Have you ever wondered
To my darling, Anxiety—   Hello, I haven’t missed you. Not that you ever left, but if you did I would not miss you. I would not miss the way you make my hands shake when I am feeling vulnerable, 
I burn the pages of my oldest notebooks, erasing the ages that have passed me by. I remember the old days, and cheerful jokes told paired with a longing gaze, and my calloused fingertips.
four years four years of pain, confusion, and fear four years four years of anger, sorrow, and tears four years you abused me four years you used me four years you destroyed me
i ask “can you save me?” you reply “i can try”
The grasp on her is tight Suffocating her sanity Hands numb Heart still beating Her mind? Filled with demons Flooding her veins with tortuous thoughts She silently screams, but no one hears
Bullies are described as People who are habitually cruel, Insulting, and threatening, To weaker people, At least according to Merriam Webster.  
Unheard, Unseen Blind, naked and uncontrollable trembling. Drowning me, Suffocating me. Are you okay? Whats wrong? Why cant you say? You're a fake Just afraid. You're not pretty, 
Dear Esther, I haven’t been the kindest lover. After a decade of affection, I have grown impatient. My fingers get rough,
  I am afraid of the dark and falling and those shadows you see in the corner of your eye. And all of these fears probably stem from that time when I was young,
The actions you do, The words you say, Slowly eating away.   You don't see the psychopath, Who lives inside of me, Leading me down the wrong path.   I want to shout,
Dear Anxiety, You are the embodiment of my self-doubt if it took the form of a black rabbit overdosed with caffeine that somehow got itself into a cage of white lions.
Dear Racing Thoughts,   Please slow down. S. L. O. W. Down. Let me breathe. Let me be in the moment. Let my heart beat with my mind as clear as the ocean. You can't though can you? 
Dear Darian,   I’m stuck in a game of tag I thought it would be fun The closer he gets, the faster I run My body is drained,  but I continue   I can’t be ‘It’
A child of ten years, And a invisible puppeteer, Stumbled upon each other in a forum.   They grew closer and closer, But little did the child know, They would break their heart.  
Stop twitching every time you mumble those around you worrythey wonder what you say under your breath when you make those jokes people get uncomfortable unsure of whether to laugh along
dear past, present, and future self, you fall in love at thirteen it is may and you are sick again delicate and easy prey you are but you pray
Mother,  Let me tell you about two children of my own. I've had them for awhile, and I'm surprised you haven't noticed.   I have devils in my pocket. Two little devils. They snag crumbs from my plate,
I know it's not gonna be easy There's gonna be hard days There's gonna be sad days I know that life will sometimes feel like a maze But with God, I'll make it through, because He is good in so many ways My God has never failed to make me amazed I
I have devils in my pocket. Two little devils. They snag crumbs from my plate, They wait patiently outside the shower, They sit on my night stand as I sleep. Sometimes they are more noticable,
My nerves shatter does it really matter Everything's a blur It's too bright my stomach turns Closing my eyes i put my head in my heads and sounds you can't hear are driving me batty
Too loud, too loud Eyes drowned, head bowed Clap hands over ears Fingers leave bruises But must hold in the music To suspend myself from reality Hear rhythm rapping the only words that make sense
She was the canvas, the blade the brush, the blood the paint that gives her a rush. A rush of releif  from the opressive thoughts that control her mind, that takes control of her life.
Unclench your jaw— Let go And be at ease. The world is already so tough You don’t need to please.   Drop down your shoulders
The first time I had a panic attack I thought I was dying What else is one to think When you're at the top of a 200ft  roller coaster front row staring down death's door-
Where did these thoughts come from?   The sloshing waters of the world, Slammed into a pint glass, Circumference frosted, Salty and dripping.
Depression is battling yourself to send your cousin a picture saying "Thought of you" to open a conversation with her But deciding against it because it's 1am and you don't want to appear lonely and desperate for attention
All eyes on me Watch me stutter, watch me slip Watch me crumble at the pressure Laugh and applaud I craft masks and write acts
I don't want you to think it's over This is just the beginning Let repetition kill the potency Of the demons’ chant “we’re winning” Listen just one more time
Speak Ugly empty silence in my chest You painful knot of bitterness Full of regret and accusation Speak Each part inside me that dies
I used to think I was a good writer My creativity used to flow from Head to hand to pen to paper
Because I Love You   Because I love you I let my heart break Because I love you I claim every mistake Because I love you I let you leave,  In fear that you might see what I see.  
(((I copied this from my previous account that was deleted, Please enjoy)))  
The thing that I admired, That was my role model, it cradled my cold body, it tucked me in at night It still takes care of me sometimes and makes me forget that-   This Feeling Is Such A Pain.
“Because I love you” he said, the pain would all stop because I love you “Because I love you” he said, the voice would go away because I love you “Because I love you”
I sit here and wait, I dont complain, I do what you ask, and yet you arent satisfied,   I cant go on, not with depression coming along and not with anxiety taking control,
You love me, right? Yes, I know you've said it. Yes, I know I've heard it and yes. I've listened.   But! But nothing, I know. You do, BUT-- My brain doesn't believe you.  
I cannot do what most people can Most can leave their house without their heart racing like a thousand horses
My father and I are one in the same; according to some.  He hates math, me too,  but I believe there are more similarities than not. After all we have been through and got. Medications, prescriptions,
Because you love me you sat up all night Despite having work the next morning, early So I could cry over nothing Because my anxiety told me “Warning: OVERWHELMED”  
Scritch Scratch. Uh, I dunno this one. Come Back to it A C D B E B B
I can hear screaming, no theory of where its coming from,  or where the sound is streaming. What is this meaning? Why is there a dismal sound 
In some places, scars are  The most goregous, glimmering things you've ever seen.  Intricate designs telling of forgotten pains  And forged of blood.  They speak to the strength of their owner. 
I finally spit it out. I finally told all.  I finally admitted it. I did it.    I regret it, but not really. I know a part of me does, but right now, I can't find it.  
Hello, old friend, it’s been awhile. I haven’t missed you, and I’ve been in denial. Been telling myself it’s okay to smile.  
Last night, I couldn't breathe  And so I couldn't think.  I was so desperate to stay alive,  I stabbed people hurting to  Claw my way to the surface.  I never thought I'd drown in open air. 
No. A powerful word. An underestimated word. A new word To me. I always bleed, I cannot eat, Anxiety makes me want to Leap out of my seat. A hand on my thigh,
Social anxiety It’s so simple, but it can ruin lives My life People talking feels like heavy metal blasting in my ears I can’t hear Their words get scrambles into alphabet soup
You lurk in the dark, Stalking night, Creeping by, Feet quick, Tongue quicker, Once a lover, Always my demon,   Haunt me like a ghost, But hold me like a lover, You are no friend of mine.
My mind, it spins Endlessly it seems, like the arms of a hurricane. And yet, it is trapped, centered, in my body, Next to you. A small shift in weight. A whimper. You understand, You touch me,
Tick...Tock...Tick Just breathe Keep calm You got this You studied for hours Wait is it A or B? Wait what does this even mean? Did you really study enough? Was four days enough?
I'm wide awake. Night fell long ago; morning rose to take its place. I hide my face from the light.   The peace of sleep never graced my pillow.   Instead the tumultuous waves
The claws of the creature that once tore into the tapestry of my mind are dulled   The unraveling has ceased  but not without leaving behind wide fraying gaps   Weaving together
I'm at war with my mind And the only sense of peace I can find Is if I go back and let my mind rewind Back to when I didn't think much About what I looked like and where I'd sit at lunch
they never saw the real me the one i hid away in my closet buried with the things i hid from society tied her up and taped over her mouth so no one would hear her scream   i remember being happy
being with you is taxingyou suck the energy from my veinsyou cannot make me happybut it's better than being alone it's pitiful isn't it?to be so lonely I'd rather be with youwho makes me so miserable
the soft tapping crackingof an eggshell on a countertopbrings me to a place that I never thought I would be
If there is one thing I want,it is to not be a wasted life.I want to say I did things for people.I want to saythat I became a playground for everyone’sdemons,a place for people to leave what won’t
Every time you tag me in a post I want to rip out my eyes. You always take pictures which is great when those pictures aren't of me. You see, when I see a picture of myself
I'm afraid. I'm afraid of the dark. I'm afraid of horses. I'm afraid of heights. I'm afraid of drowning. I'm afraid of death.
NOBODY SEES THE STARS DURING THE DAY BUT IN THE NIGHT THEY ARE VISIBLE, GOD KNOWS HOW TO HIDE YOU TILL ITS YOUR TIME TO SHINE. YOUR INVISIBILITY DOESN'T MEAN YOU ARE NOT EXISTING SO BE JOYFUL,
Choking, squeezing/ Breath gone/ Eyes dark/ Oh, wherefore art thou,/ O serotonin?/   Mind racing/ Deborah pacing/  Confusion mounting/ Behind my eyes, they're shouting/ Yes, no, maybe so/  Static, static, white noise/  Shake and flap/ Senseless sc
I'd grind a mirror to dust with my bare hands if it meant I never had to look at myself again.   I'd burn every book I own
because i love you,   a wooden door, left locked, is given a window,   clear glass, and port hole,    a place to speak. because i love you,
Teeth grind Heart is dust Soul shattered Tear stained face Barren inside Burden outside Return me Replace me Don't love me
Because I love you He lingers his finger on my face I don't know how to describe this place Because I love you He takes off his disguise I take off the blindfold from my eyes Because I love you
Dear Anxiety,
I don’t want to be here1, 2, 3...No, this is not a note of thoughts on ending the life of mine14, 15, 16...No, this is not a cry for help.26, 27, 28...This is simply what it says, I don’t want to be here...This room is full of ambitious students.
Okay so you are drunk again But this time you let your heart stay in bed it's your brain here surprisingly enough so listen up You have potential  A part of Newton's Cradle Right now is just the start
How is it that I am still alive? How is it that today I am awake and maintaining hope that things will get better when I can feel myself spiraling out of control? There have been days...
This town is filled with strays Many die while others thrive No one likes the survivors.   Angry, anxious, and violent running away when they can swiping when they can't.  
Me
Guiding Holy Spirit anxiety? No need to fear it   Blissfully I Breathe What a way to be!   Jesus once again conquered death, & Gave Life to the powerless.
There’s always a key. A key to one’s mind A key to one’s heart. A key to one’s soul. Locked away for same keepings, But thieves still slither this earth. Skilled thieves pick locks
For me,  you were a miracle,  a secret,  untouchable, youthful, my favorite metaphor, but it turned into the darkest poem, you took what I had to give, until there was nothing left,
I am afraid to close my eyes Hearing the emptiness when I awake Feeling any heart pounding against my ribs lungs constricting to leave me breathless. My head is spinning as I choke down a shriek
A moment of anxiety this is where your tightrope snaps So you have a choice To grab onto the rope and swing try to climb yourself with up the edge with all you've got  bruise your knuckles on the rocks 
Ok. We need to talk about swimming. Going to the pool and running into friends is something most people love. The feeling of the refreshing air and the warmth of the summer sun just feels so good.
Three pills a day for the rest of my life Is what I need for my mind to be normal. There is nothing wrong with that, I know But some days I choke On what feels like the Titanic stuck in my throat
  I catch a glimpse of your dimples when you laugh, Thinking to myself, Why are you still here?   I watch as you water the garden we planted together, Thinking to myself, Why are you still here?
Darkness veils my mind Just a hostage to self-doubt The soul yearns for light   Shaken from my sleep The slumber that slowly kills, Crumbles and retreats   New day means new choices
My dearest Natalie,  Because I love you I tell to change I tell you that you are too fat I tell you that you need to starveI tell you that you will never, ever, be good enough,But it's only because I love you.  Because I love you I make you lie Th
She was the child who shyed away from touch. The child who hated eye contact. She was a kid who'd perfected the art of   making excuses for school absences    and dodging questions.
Today I am trapped in echoing halls filled with the smokey darkness. Unable to see what good lies await.   I can't hear anything besides the calling the voices of creatures and monsters
I am a canyon carved with water-worn cracks;The weight of other people always breaking my back.
How can you smile knowing that peopl are dying because they are sick of trying to appease the critics, to appease the man, to appease the woman, and those in command. They are taking their lives
The waves crashed down as darkness fell. They were the most devastating ones yet.
There are softballs in my mouthWhen I look at youEach thought is another home run right into my front teethIt's supposed to be easier to say these wordsBecause I'm a girlI'm supposed to be open with my emotions
Loast at sea, thats what I am. A little spec surrounded by swirling water, barely staying afloat in this storm. I call out  and there is no answer as sharks circle about my capsizing raft.
I was broken, battered and beaten.
There are bulldozers on the moon run by burly men. They dig through the translucent flesh pulling up marshmallows and leaving pools of caked blood. From down here they form a rabbit
Something I like to remember when I need to cheer up Is that I was not a part of the plan I wasn't thought to be possible
 Frost invites my fingertips; it beckons my graspEach flake kisses my lids, and paints my lashes to frostMy palms are graced by the snow, a bliss without costI lift my lids, while each step is answered by the snow’s raspEach eye of ebon sueded is
I am alive. I eat, I breathe, I sleep.  Constantly checking my phone,     Facebook notifications from an ex that doesn't deserve my time,  but I give it to him anyway,  cause' I am alive. 
I will not start with once upon a time.     This is not past tense.     This is now.     Every day. Every second. Every minute.       Looking in the looking glass,
I am a collection of the mistakes and dreams of those that I've loved A mind that never stops moving, accompanied by a heart that feels every beat and every tear A soul like mine is fortunate for love
I wake up to disaster. I go to be in loneliness. I spend the whole day in depression. If you love me then say so, but I wont believe you anyways.
Fear. A gentle breeze stings. Failure whispers into your ears. Hiding is the only peace. Hiding stops the wind. Stop. Stop your hiding. Rise to challenge the wind The wind will blow back.
Eyes heavy, body trembling, nightmares vast. She's harassed by the forecast of the past. Demons disguised in the form of lovers Until she discovered their true colors. She was used and abused, 
I don’t talk a lot At first And I hope that that’s okay But once I know your warmth And feel safe letting words escape When I know they and I don’t annoy you Then I’ll tell you
I am a puppetcontrolled by a soul that is who I wasI feel as creaky as an old wood,covered in skinsheets of tiger like skin with endless scars that screams sin
People in the room as calm as they like. Hiding in the corner anxiety spike. At anytime this horror can occur. Like a terrible dream that has to recur. Entering this hell while walking alone. Sanity melting like an ice cream cone. Tears signalling
Late at night is when you forget how to breathe Your body freezes and you start taking in short little gasps of air And it's like you are drowning except there's no water around you
you count the steps you take and hear the breaths you make. you're always aware of yourself and your surroundings. not because you want to avoid the stalkers the creeps or the killers in the jeeps.
I try, I really do But it never seems enough It plagues my mind, Day and night The voice just won’t shut up.   I constantly want more But at the same time, want less
My thoughts are racing but they only go in circles They're coming for you Turn the lights on and off 14 times You're gonna get pregnant Smoke another cigarette They're coming for you 
I am too much, too much. Too quiet they say, too shy (I'm obnoxious when I talk, it's better this way) Too rebellious, they say, too passionate (I'm just trying to find my way, never thought I'd reach 18)
As dawn encroaches, my mind groggily awakens as well as my body. My mind is the first onslaught of war I suffer? Do I want to get out of bed and to go to the gym? I've gained over 40 pounds... I really should.  Second, is my body.
Once upon a time,   There was a princess who lived high in a tower.   Her hair blonde and long--a cut or trim, she never did have.   The prince was determined to save her, with his manly power.
I am fifteen years old and I think I own the world. I have a boyfriend and he loves me. He yells at me but that is okay, he loves me. He shoves me but that is okay, he loves me.
Don't you feel the noose of night slowly tightening around your thoughts. Sufficating you slowly. You hold a blade in your hand slashing at the silence that hides it all... the things you never said
Was there ever a place the storm had not been? The storm shrouded everything.  The sea's azure peaks and emerald valleys  Always smothered by an array of greys.   
I swallow the pills, I chase them with the vodka given to me on my birthday 5 months ago. The tears stop Everything slows down My heart begins to slow down
Today is the time for rain, But it is not the only thing that fell. Today is the day that it fell from heaven And fell down to Earth.
As my body starts to shake, I realize I might begin to hyperventilate. Taking deep breathes, one by one, I start to gain control again. Overwhelmed and full of stress, I begin to have anxiety attacks.
People say I'm not valid, people say I should choose, they don't understand though I love people not genders.   People say I'm dramatic, people say I'm just scared, they don't understand though
I am 16 years old I’m left handed I hate my hyphenated last name And I absolutely hate bananas I still don’t know how to play video games either
** this poem serves as a voice for those that may struggle to express their depression/anxiety. fill in the blanks with the name of your choice.  
The echoing halls are ringing with the forgotten cries comming from a raw throat. Nobody will turn to look at her as she cries for help, dying on the inside. Nobody will hear her
We know how this story goes, my friends- The Witch, the tower, the Prince in the end- Sometimes, a Dragon (just for a twist) Perched tippity top, which is shrouded in mist-
A small bottle A brush  Heavy paper   Covered in crevices    And teeth           Pressure       It takes pressure
Time creeps by like a spider. Now, we are now. Be still, hold my hand. We are now, and now is here. Be here. In this moment we have nothing else. As the tears fall, i fall.
#1
One cut, two cuts, three cuts, four. Knees weak, I'm laying on the floor. Blood drips, to life come all my fears. "Is it all over?" scream all my tears. It seeps through the rug, bright red.
It’s fragile Breakable Something that shatters Shatters with a touch A word A thought Doubt Self-doubt It eats at it Like a cat Plays with its food Like tiny voices
once upon a generation in my tower long locks it mirrors my contempt  and my view is limited  i do not see anything more than lonely wood but it is not lonely that is only me
I am terrified I shelter my heart with my hands I am terrified to hurt and to hurt another I am terrified I am numb I am... numb I am terrified so please, please don't abandon me darling
i'm sorry i was the disappointment i'm sorry i could never figure my shit outi'm sorry i was such an embarrassment i'm sorry i can't fix myselfi'm sorry i'm the reason for your paini'm sorry i thought i matter i'm sorry i thought i could do someth
i may as well be a dead roseno one dares to water or revive just to throw out with this weeks disasters and garbage my thorns are fighting those who try to stop me but they aren't strong enough to keep me alive. they may protect me but they can ne
Like a little kid When the lights go out My soul is dark and scary This there is no doubt My brain wages a war it cannot face
The pounding of your fist at the door of my chest Can no longer withstand what you tell it to No matter the number of times you use your sultry words to beckon it to life
You told me once that you were fine I told myself you were right, you’d never lie I know now where i went wrong Seeing you today was the reminder you are gone
I am not worried. I wonder if everything is going to be okay. I see what other people go through things I don't want to go through. I want everything to go how I want it. I am not worried.
Bed time breathing Braided bones Thoughts unweaving Sleepless moans
These scars are not telling you About some beautiful tragedy. These scars say I’m fucked up. They scream
Hot and Cold It hurts so bad This quivering, squirming feeling  Deep in my gut I almost can't stand it A need - The Need- To just make it stop Make it stop Make It Stop!
Today. Today I question myself Who is in my life? Who cares? and Who holds me back? The answer awaits     You see, for me to ask that I would need to understand myself What do I want?
Him
                     And I see him in someone's sideways smirk,                               someone's endless brown eyes,                             someone's smile when they laugh.  
her foot never fully touched the ground,remaining half afloat in the air--stuck in the clouded mist of her anxious mind,she could not grasp the full weight of reality
I can't help but think of the moment When my loved ones will be gone, it will be over When I won't have a wall or cover When I lose my final lover
Do you ever remember every negative thing someone has said about you? Do you want to try and fix yourself for those people who can´t accept you? I do.  At times, I do hate myself.
We are the jokersThe lonersThe invisible roamersThe insomniac dreamersAnd the at-risk soldiers sitting here colder, shoulder to shoulder, Always being told "you'll be better when you're older".  
We are the jokersThe lonersThe invisible roamersThe insomniac dreamersAnd the at-risk soldiers sitting here colder, shoulder to shoulder, Always being told "you'll be better when you're older".  
Nerves Racing. Heart's Beating. Why are they starring?   Is it my smile, my body, my hair? Is it my personailty, Why should they care? I just want to stop the stares...  
  Organized Ramblings   A collection of various poems by Kate Emrich April 29, 2017    
All you’ve had to eat for the past 2 days are your own fingernails Skinny girls hip bone wishes You want to be skinny Skinny means pretty Skinny means wanted Skinny means loved Skinny is only a fantasy for you, hoping, praying to lose that 20 poun
I’m sorry that I apologize constantly. Ironic, right? It drives my friends crazy I ruin our fun with my apologies My conscience tells me:
It is four o’clock in the morning And I do not have to look at the glowing numbers beside me to know the time. Every night, it is the same routine: Close my eyes, try to sleep, and wake up even more exhausted.
I am an introvert No I’m not a creepy psychopath Who watches people from my upstairs bedroom window I attend events Sometimes
My bed has always played savior
as I sought refuge from my thoughts,
seeking asylum from my sanctioned brain,
I thought secrecy was my only option.
 I thought a safe haven was where I dreamed
covered in dark sheets to hide the blood that I bleed.
The sad part is how easy it would be to just give it all up. To forget the work to forget the dream the sweat the blood  the tears.   It is a matter of will they say
There are thingsSome people don't understandLike the struggleOf depressionAnd anxiety It's different for everyone
How am I supposed to sleep  when my brain will not shut up? How am I supposed to shut it up  when I don't even know what it is thinking? So tell me anxiety what it is that you say,
We laugh and play in the rain as it soaks through our clothe each drop clinging to our skin like the morning dew upon the grass. We look up and smile at the ashened clouds
I sit here alone in the dark staring out the window counting fading stars waiting. Waiting for dreams that will never come true Waitig for promises to be pursued 
Why did you leave me? 
I constantly feel seasick Because I'm inadvertently cautious, Awaiting dangers that don't exist. I go to bed early, feeling nauseous. I'm sitting in the safety of solitude for now,
    Heavy breathing pounding heart sweaty palms shaky arms A worried mind and no place to hide
When dawn arrives, the sun will rise, and the light will shine so bright, trying to greet the fleeting night.   It leaks gold in most places, and fills eery dark spaces,
Taking a deep breath and jumping off the ledge or cutting my wrists with a straightedge seemed to be the only way out Thats just the way I saw it   Suicidal tendencies cured by a make believe afterlife
It is knowing you did everything with what you had while still questioning what more you could've done, why you didn't try more, how you could've done better, when exactly you said or did the wrong thing.
Every morning when I wake, I have to fight a dragon It is a fierce thing, that claws at me and pushes me down Weighing me with thoughts on the coming day and what might go wrong
The excitement grows like a great inhale Watching the glass ceiling’s break come to bear Friends around me ensuring sense will prevail Yet nothing comes to stop the hate in the air
Some days you are a puddle barely rippling in the steady breeze, broken on the edges where cracks took you away. These times you will feel defeated,
Welcome to the carnival of life Where brilliance shines, flashing lights Where memories are our currencies Where affection is shared like cotton candy Where strength is measured in courage
Welcome to the carnival of life Where brilliance shines, flashing lights Where memories are our currencies Where affection is shared like cotton candy Where strength is measured in courage
Eighth grade: The first time I remember feeling That attack of anxiety consume me Making my heart freeze, my body tense, my mind frantic.   Like a storm it passed:
You call to me in the night, A silent black monolith of blue light, Looming in my waking thoughts and dreams, Punching buttons and tapping strings,   The world I think is dull and grey,
Depression
I’m fed up with feeling like I’m failing I’m fed up with shooting for the moon and landing in the mud   I'm fed up with the pictures, the size I’m supposed to be
Tell me a secret. Tell me something no one else knows. Tell me something no one else understands. Tell me a secret.   Come here. Closer. Closer. Do you wanna know a secret?
How beautiful it is To live everyday breathing the warm/cold air of mother nature I find it fascinating how we simply are living. Look at those trees; so tall ,with many years
I have reached a point in my life where I wake up most days feeling somewhere between “okay” and so goddamn happy That I feel like a kid climbing a tree who has just reached a branch
I spent my years of sanity On thought to be usefull things, But now I find  myself up to my neck in anxiety   So I follow every dream thats chased
I arrive at the scene.  A reported disorderly conduct, undeniably located inside of my brain.  'Surprised' is not a word to describe my reaction to find the two suspects. Depression and Anxiety.
I'm with her and feel at ease   No   That's a lie I want to write something to convince myself That her is you  But it's not If I kiss her I miss you 
She’s only human and there’s nothing extraordinary about her,                 Except the fact that she’s dead and nobody knows.   Lying in her grave she awakes every day,
One, two, three let me lay in bed and count. four, five, six the mistakes I've made with you. seven, eight, nine I would take them all back. ten, eleven, twelve each one just as bad as the last.
before it was easy the homework was less the new place made me queasy i developed stress   my grades were under waking in the morning was a fight my world was full of thunder
The phone is ringing, but the sound falls further and further awayMy mind is spinning, the words I hear each and every day:"Stop wasting your time, stop worrying so much"
My sad old friend visits so often and years ago she came to stay We grew fond of the dark inspired by tears I'd grow anxious when she was away My dark lovely friend sits in my image
I hear her scream I hear her tiny footsteps in the hallow way  Her shallow breathing quickening my heart She is an empty shell of the person I knew Her soft skin that used to soothe me is abused by her confusion
She is not me; I am not her. Her voice shakes when she speaks, her screams are unheard. I live life on the edge while she stays in bed, and only moving around when she’s trying to get out of her head.  Her mind is her home, her heart is a stone, a
Tears are slowly accumulating At the corner of my eye I hold my stomach aching in pain Each successive breath is slowly becoming too difficult to make
If last year The dreaded 2016 that everyone treats as a beast, is a story Then the beginning would be January This poem, by that extension, is my rendition of this story
Darkness fills the world around me, trapping me within its confined space that seems never ending.  It tightens itself around me, putting pressure on my chest and compressing down until I feel my lungs on the brim of a burst. 
I've been having nightmares about you after the sun leaves the sky, Every. Single. Freaking. Night. Telling myself that the info received is dry, would be telling myself a lie: I repeat, my nightmares are not lies.
He was first there in the spring when I took a jump. He watched my every move and kept me lined up. He never did leave, no, he insisted on staying. He stayed with me until it became intoxicating.  
I'm done, but   I want more, though   I'm tired and overworked   my eyes have got luggage and my head has begun to hurt   I'm getting by on mania
I need to sleep, my brain is fried My emotions are bottled up inside I’ve gone too long, I can’t turn back God, I wish it could all just fade to black
I want to forget about all of my doubts, worries, and fears because then there would be no distractions from the
My soul has died again today Yet since I haven’t shed a tear Maybe it’s because I don’t pray Yet I will laugh as well as fear   My soul is born again tonight
Dreams Elusive, Incorporeal Whispering, Twisting, Fleeting Hopes, Fears, Friends, Family Shaping, Teaching, Loving Painful, Happy Memories
The morning after I killed myself, I woke up.   I made myself waffles with the waffle iron I convinced my mother to buy when I was twelve, with a side of fruit I bought at a road side produce stand. 
This year has been the same  more or less. I told myself; 2016 was my year, but that never happened. It was the same as every year. I'll tell you why  I have two best friends
A year ago today, I was living my life in fear. I didn't know where I was going to go after high school, And I didn't know what I was going to do.
As the seasons change so do I. less and less do I feel the need to lie. one year ago today. I was letting the stress of life weigh. Feeling like i needed to make the world happy. I was left feeling crappy.
Heleena and Anxiety Take on 2016!                                                     December 31st, 2015. Time goes fast, almost too fast. A new year a new me.
Exhalation is the flow, Of my body, my mind, and my soul,  Of the respiratory current out, Into the air about.  The deep breathes I take, Will help calm the mistakes, That I've only made in my mind.
Rambunctious, angsty,  How was I supposed to know- They all left by the next year and I sat there fuming, loathing and yet- I tipped a bottle in honor of my pride thinking. "It's fine, everyone does it don't be a-"
Water Only clear  Loose and cascading over my body I cannot breathe I cannot speak Cannot Will not open my eyes I am drowning Voices collide  Suffocating me
I had a friend named Fear He was present in any social situation I faced He quickened the beat of my heart, saying it was out of love and grace
They ask me what's wrong ? How come your so sad ?  but then I blow it off and deflect .......... "oh its nothing " " really its nothing like that ! Then all of a sudden I'm left panicking SCREAMING ON THE INSIDE 
I am courageous and hopefulI wonder if I will ever truly recoverI hear my ED and OCD thoughtsI see a possible future without recovery and that scares meI want recovery and freedomI am courageous and hopeful
A latent prick of fearstarted at the root of my head.
I want to love you  I really do But I am scared Please understand why I hesitate  It is not because of you  It is because of me  Something like this is not easy I stay when they go
 She never liked the way her clothes fit on top of the skin that also never fit quite right. Her hands had always held things too tight and her feet could never run fast enough. She was either too much or too little for a demanding world.
I’m worn and withered from being this bird. Of fire and ash, ash and fire. Over and over, morning-born, evening ebbing. Waking up weary in the fluttering, frail flakes burned paper, song, and skin.
The last time the leaves turned orange I didn’t take notice Because I was too busy being sad And crying myself to sleep at night And wondering why
 
At the back of one’s mind lies a pond Whose smooth surface is pleasantly unperturbed By the glittering schools of fish that flash Beneath the crystalline blue waters.   Although there are times
I once was able to breathe To see the world To go outside and smile   Now I pray to stop To close my eyes And stay in my room and suffer   The healing is slow But I try
  “They’re talking about you.” “You’re not good enough” “They don’t really like you.” “You’re going to fail.”  
The shakes, the nerves, the trembles of absolute fear I feel in the tiny hands attached to me.  They control me. They make one motion that consumes my focus entirely.  I am drowning in a sea of my anxiety.
Brain constructs phrases and sentences Sends the information to the gaping hole It’s detailed and thorough Black hole receives it and ruins it effectively  
I started with a frown My year already felt down   I was in a trap Under wraps I saw fear right in front of me   Every day it would come To take my happiness away
I woke up on the the first of January, single, but what else was new? Then I realized that 2016 was the last of a few; years called high school that everyone loves to remember,
2016 was such a difficult yearI started with ache.My relationship wasn't doing well,And there was too much distanceSo we decided to break.
Last year, I thought I was getting smaller, but, in 2017, I've been standing taller. My friends and family have been there when my anxiety has been too much to bear. Anxiety has been there in the beginning,
Sorry for existing  I want to say  but I know you won't understand  you'll try to fix me with your words "don't say that, you are worth everything"  the only kind of worth I have stings when I try to wear it
I wonder how many unsuspected, blank expressions I have filled; in the background of a memory held dear to a stranger that I never gave my assent to. A stranger alone I have traveled in glee
“yeah, I used to get panic attacks myself.” my ease surprises me. I’m relaxed, not like the calm before a storm when havoc is about to wreak. just calm. no storm.  
I never thought something invisible could run my every day. Anxiety is like a water balloon, it fills and fills until finally it explodes blurring your vision drenching every part of you.
It’s been a long time coming But we’re finally okay We know we deserved this sooner But we’ll take what we can get   But just as all the pieces seem to fall right into place
today is the day i learn acceptance i learn to tame the ferocious beasts inside me not by beating them into submission, or leaving them in cages until i hope they starve or wither or grow old and die
Static: all consuming, never fading. Like the buzz of cicadas, never dissapating. I inhale but the air never reaches my lungs. Dread, despair, and stress: over-run. You kiss my lips,
Floating pages in the wind, Some words written on my skin. Yes I was born into sin, But where do I truly begin? Maybe I lost myself in all the books, Pages upon pages was all it took.
Drawing Drawing myself From the inside out Sheltered by bone, Veiled in Cream colored Flesh, My hand holds my pencil
Grabbing, clawing, reaching, climbing, running. struggling to get out, away, free, from this monster that is consuming you, hunting you, suffocating you.
Try on My shoes and see This made up life you claim I lead. These fake monsters inside My head.   I lie. You say. They are
Chipped nails, relieved breaths I let go of filing, and painting and repeating Two years of ink, deep breathes All for a sheet of paper, it hangs on my wall New room, cold breaths
One step forward Two steps back   Is this ever true   One move closer  Two backtracks   Creates new paths for you   One truth found Two lies learned  
Measuring your ability to fail Failing to conquer your fears Fears that consume you You are breathless, speechless, lifeless   Lifeless for a lifetime
A small, quiet sadness found its way into my chest I soon watched myself become even more depressed. A companion to the sadness very soon came around Anxiety covered my mouth and induced another breakdown.
I'm like a bird who tries to soar, but can't be able to fly anymore.  Fighter of this clan who needs to make a stand. I struggle to break free, with a world of possibilities to admire from up close.
(Hi! In this piece of writing, I use the singular 'they' to refer to one person, the subject of the poem, who has anxiety. I did this to keep the person's gender neutral. If this is confusing to anyone, sorry!
Timid Shy Afraid Anxiety. Curious Focused Freedom Anxiety. As I grow and evolve, I am always left with one thing Anxiety.
July   I remembered I felt No purpose Surrounded by a neglected glance,                                                           
A year in the life of Sarah Smith Sometimes I felt like a myth Had a rough time starting out Hitting the floor and blacking out Living in a room of isolation Contemplating my creation
My body is a metal cage, a stage name— I call it ME. Maybe I should call it THE THING TO BE CONTROLLED. My body is a safety net, the one that I like falling into Most of the time.
I wasn't meant to be beautifulI wasn't meant for the pleasing of your eyesor the stirring of your inner loveI am meant to set a fire beneath youto make you quake in your boots
Breathin’ in, I know I’m breathin’ in;Breathin out, I know I’m breathin’ out;I do not seek the doubt, I’m freedom bound;But the pain inside’s got me feelin’ down;Please give me the love of Jesus now;
As a child, I hated swimming. I was always alone, My small legs and arms seemingly paddling endlessly, Muscles reaching a point of exhaustion, And a feeling of emptiness growing inside me.
and i have anxiety terrors, you know, the ones that have you shooting upright at two in the morning because   oh shit, you said something that maybe your friend thought was rude?  
a breath: in, out again, faster faster still, until they stop coming release   a noise in my head it rushes like a tide, pulled by the moon like blood, pumping through my veins
i want ideas to fall from every pore on my facei want my split ends to be riddled with quotesi want my broken nails covered in goldi want my cracked broken lips healed with cementi want my harsh voiced laced with silk
A blade seems friendly  It is anything but A manipulating tool And in my head it now haunts. It once kicked away the Numbness  That stalked my daily life And locked away Anxiety 
I feel as though I’m trapped inside a box.  I try my hardest to beat down the walls, But the ticking of clocks gets louder.
The overwhelming exhale as I awake from a nightmare, those endless encounters with the fear of isolation, only drives me to become a more compelling individual who's mind is yet to be freed from torment and confusion. 'Expect the unexpected' the c
The overwhelming exhale as I awake from a nightmare, those endless encounters with the fear of isolation, only drives me to become a more compelling individual who's mind is yet to be freed from torment and confusion. 'Expect the unexpected' the c
theres a man in my head he made his own bed he puts fear in my brain and ice in my veins he pulls me from the people i love most and pushes me towards ones i hate most
He
When he came into my life Everything changed like never before I became someone I despised I dressed differently I stopped talking to the people around me I even strayed away from my classes
That girl you see that girl over there the girl with the naive face the one  who trust everyword you say
Anxiety is a hypocrite, the pain and worry illogical to reality. The heaviness of the world overwhelms me, but what is one supposed to do? Of course its just an over reaction, a dramatized consciousness.
The room reeked of the smell Of my parent’s disownment, Once again I was back in crazy town.   They didn’t understand
We are all just trying to find out place in the world. From being overtaken by demons, To becoming free men, We all share a moments of weaknesses.
The air feels thick and there’s a weight on my chest. It’s getting harder to breath has seconds pass. Not matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to get the weight off. I am now struggling to breathe.
I am overwhelmed at times with a sudden wave of urgency.   A pressure builds up inside of me and leaves me with only the racing thump of my heartbeat and heaves of breath  from my crushed lungs.
Labels are a dangerous thing. It’s good to feel like the happy girl,
You were there... When the sun didn't shine, And the rain fell like my tears. When the nights were plaugued Flooded with my fears. When my anxiety ruled my life, And living with depression was a fight.
I reached out to the sun, but he burned me No matter how I approached, I was scorched. The sun seemed to burn brighter each day for months I wanted to be close, to feel the warmth
Write what you know, they say. Write what you know. What do I know? I don't know how to trust (you can thank my dad for that) I don't know how to seperate dreams from reality
I should be exhausted I am exhausted Both physically and mentally Physically, not so much Mentally, too much This world is filled with mental exhaust I am one of them Can rest cure this
Changed because of this Stayed the same because of that In the darkest place Mental health eating me alive My uncontrollable mind enjoying the taste of my tears My aching heart yearning for love
Anxious mind, Anxious heart, Yearning to see The World.   Always telling myself                     Don't talk to them,                   Don't say a word,
Palms extremely sweaty Falling back upon yourself Collapse in your mind.
I’ve heard, my dear, that you aren’t okay. I’ve heard you crying, I’ve heard you say:   “I give up, I tell you. I surrender my soul.” But I promise you that one day, you will be whole.  
Golden hair on brown skin--unPalatable. Unfilled eyebrows, sparse as this country's humanity--indolEnt Fierce disease causes cruel brusing on body--compLains she has bed bugs.
It’s a specific side. The one with frayed edges where Paper fibers are disrupted from the interwoven Pattern of rules calculated to win points.   No one can see the perfect matrix.
recalling bad memories is like unknowingly walking through a minefield and suddenly you cant yield so your mind flies as your body stays behind and you know before you see it
I know I can’t compete with the stars. What there is to see in the stars is endless.  I see the constellations and am reminded of a structure I can’t maintain. 
A year ago... the thought brings me pain it reminds me of who I was selfish, lost, angry, sad. Who was I?I was a shell of who I am apathetic and blind to hope. Then my love met me in the summer
Anyone who's been on a roller coaster can tell you, there are ups and downs and loops and twists. For the thrill-seekers, it's a rush but for the fearful, the worst part is knowing that
i. you're cold. two cats on your lap. a dog at your side. messages awaiting on your phone it's not plugged in.  you aren't plugged in. please be okay. how are things going?
The ripples leave spots across the water disrupting the flow of sequence. Jags start to bloom and the water sprays farther making it harder to ever catch a breath.
How do u explain to someone you cant hangout . "anxiety bad today" wont come out the mouth Laying in bed , not wanting to get off the couch
The pounding of the drum at the end of the percussion line resonates through the air. The powerful vibrations tickle my skin when standing too close, The steady bam, bam, bam echoes through the quiet room.
I'm a retreatist, someone that lives to run away. Since I was a small boy I've been running as fast as these legs could take me But when shit hit the fan all my hiding spaces faded away
It began with the eagerness of hope, the longing, burning, raging need to reach the unattainable—that gift which I never thought I would call my own. There were scars still, written across my arms like a
It’s always been terrifying to me… What could possibly lie underneath the serene rapids of the Gulf of Napoli Normally a peaceful town my family originated from.  
You didn't know that when you met me,I was sad.You didn't know when you met me that I didn't know how sad I actually was.You didn't know that when you
A year ago today The end of October A happy girl stood on a scale and saw the number had dropped Joy filled her! Soon she had to buy all new jeans because all of hers were to big Size 8! Isn't that great!
A year ago, I was scared. I was always nervous, shaking, nothing could've compared to the feelings I've felt every day, hour, minute, emotions that always gave me a limit on what I could do and maintain.
In one teardrop, you lose your sense of self. In one teardrop, your heart left me a key. In one teardrop, you take that picture off the shelf.
Trying to find who I am Has never been more difficult; With depression and anxiety, Sexuality and gender How will I ever figure it out?
I am the lust child of a rock and a sad place  They go by depression and self-destructive tendencies They make loud love in the darkest crevices of my mind
My school life is getting hectic My anxiety is overflowing From microbiology to my nursing courses My panic starts clearly showing   I think I’ve had enough My stress has reached the max
You know the days aren't so bad when you can wake up without any struggle.And actually look decent.
I sit quietly in a desk working on my homework. Conversations are becoming ramp just like how my worries are increasing. Don't worry I tell myself. It's all good. You have it under control. More thoughts, more worries.
In this day in time it is hard to find a way to express your sorrow. But in my mind; if you dance, you'll be fine; and all you dread will be gone tomorrow.
The struggle to put into wordsThe thoughts that run in my mind like a herd.Shall I speak of my life?Or a fictional lie?Wh
Trying to write what i feel Putting emotions into words Trying to explain these things I dont even know what they are When the words won’t come out
Happiness Fake smiles Fake laugh Fake happy Fake Negative/Negative/Negative No, Nephews hugging me Parents hugging me Sisters hugging me Friends hugging me
As a child, I endured extreme anxiety once my adolescent body found itself incarcerated by the unforgiving darkness of the night.  
If I am lost in a storm of doubts or a cloud of fear, call Lindsey. If I cannot find the will to go on, get Maggie. If I am in need of light or laughter, text Isabelle or Michelle.
Words, shuffling Perfect ballet Ribbons, ribbons, ribbons Choreographed anarchy Compressing thoughts into a tight tight ball Until I can't tell what's what What is what What is what Waves
You couldn't hear it at first It slowly bubbles up from inside It grows  The boisterous thunder rattling your bones  Only you can hear it Faces that mean nothing stare back at you
You couldn't hear it at first It slowly bubbles up from inside It grows  The boisterous thunder rattling your bones  Only you can hear it Faces that mean nothing stare back at you
I keep coming back to you even after all the shit you've put me through I try to stay away and guard myself but I can't, and I won't you're poisonous to my health now things get worse
there are days i shake. not like a leaf on a tree; not like a nervous voice. nothing like poetry. there is no nostalgia in the way my body quivers.
Inhale.   Fingers tucked under the hem of my dress, Heart echoing the clapping enveloping my ears I want to disappear.
On Monday, she’s weary, teary, and unsure. She is sure that she’ll be able to fake a smile, but unsure if her friends and family will know it’s fake.
Don't believe the smiles you see plastered upon my faceThese smiles are empty smiles They hold no promiseThey hold no joyBehind the smiles there is painBehind the smiles there are tearsBehind the smiles there is a girl, a boy, or whatever I choose
Profile: Hello! I enjoy literature, comic books, And nerdy T.V. shows. I like to swim, dance, hike, and draw. My name is Ariel.  
I can’t explain,  This level of pain. I can’t stop crying,  It’s like I’m dying.   Everything is shaking, even my teeth,
The hardest thing to do is get up. out of the hole, or on some peoples minds, out if bed. When you sleep you have no worries, you can dream away; but reality is still there.
a chill slips up the cord of my spine as unwanted thoughts roam the lining of my mind hands fidget and legs shake if i can't find control now, i might just break i used to think this wasn't that bad
    Deep,       Deep,       Blue.    Blue hands.    Blue lips.     Blue lungs.   Blue hearts. Sinking down. To the vast blue ocean Of my stomach. Strangled.
The girl who doesn't speak,  The boy who may seem meek, The child with the brightest smile, That only lasts for a little while, Someday will will come clean, Everything isn't what it seems,
The mind of a human… Split in half With creativity and logicIt interests me, so I zoom in,
10 days:No blade,no blood. 20 days:I'm tired,I'm sad,I want my blade. 30 days:I can't have my blade,I can't put a sharp object on my skin,am I finally clean?
There's a person sitting right behind me And I can feel their eyes piercing through the back of my head Looking at my scalp The part with no hair The part that I was pulling at for two hours last night
My hands are about as cold and dead as they can be without actually being dead.   My hair is about as long as can be without actually being long.   My thighs are about
My hands are about as cold and dead as they can be without actually being dead.   My hair is about as long as can be without actually being long.   My thighs are about
The reflection  wants me to die. The reflection wants me to starve. The Reflection wants to be loved. The Reflection wants to change. The reflection wants to be changed.
She came and went. as if it were easy for all of us to stand back and  watch.  Faster, slower, stop. the water continued dripping collecting cascading towards
A dreary flower wilts away when the water and sun have gone. Depression sets in and attempts to stay. From internal thoughts does it spawn.  
This is our wrestling mat. It isn’t much to see. Sort of furrowed yet flat. The number of soles it has held has given it a soul.  
It was what nobody suspect, And denial begins, Because how could a girl like me Who has everything  Fall into this pit of darkness?   Is it really my fault That I may be depressed?
The week has just started And I'm drowning in a flood Of papers and anxiety In homework and insomnia. The halls are much too crowded, There is no spaces in the rooms, My head is over crowded
I miss the cloudy days When the sky was nice and grey, A sad smile upon my face. What happened to the rain?   The sky has been to bright, With the warm sunshine Glowing upon the smiling faces
Have I ever wished to dive into a ravine? I would have said no.   I'm forced to say yes. What were once my sweetest dreams crash upon the rocks.   Drain the mania;
My heart is best decribed as being a bird in a bottle, with fleeting wings beating against glass lungs.   It sits on the border of yesterday's panic and tomorrow's desperation,
I wish i could show you, What this really means, I wish I could tell you, How I really feel, I wish you would listen, But my voice is too small to hear.   I want to raise my voice,
The demons live, They live inside me.   They tell me not to eat, They tell me to cut.   They tell me I'm not good enough, They tell me nobody cares.   And I can't escape them,
'Calm down.''You're fine.''What's wrong?''Will you please talk?''I want to understand what your anxiety is about.''How's it feel?'
Zero. The age when life is simple. Life in the moment, past and present, absent. Time is a concept yet to be discovered, Numbers possess no value. Smiles and laughter fill the days,
I was eight years old when someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up. I said, I want to be a singer. I want to be pretty, I want to be popular.
I'm shaken, I'm shaking but not from the thunder pretty soon then, my heart booms but not from the lightning The weather outside is nothing compared to the way I feel when anxious, hyper, and scared
If I were. If I were weak, I wouldve given up by now, Surrendered to drugs, illness, demons, devil. If I were them, I would've run. Surely I'm beyond, understanding now,
my core, it bubbles. the fire is intensifying, the heat is unsatisfying. water boils in my chest, and my mind with its thoughts
My thoughts are poisonously hot They rise to my mind Building pressure Leaving my chest tight and empty No air Others will try To breathe back life into my veins But it all rises back
I am just a traveler in want of a little rest I had been blending through a city of the oppressed Dimming me down to the filthy ground Screaming at me, they surround
The watchmaker is not personally fond of watches, in fact he loses track of what time it is quite often. He has nothing against clocks mind you, he just does not particularly enjoy them, they're just clocks.
I live in a bright world where everything is bright  but it's so bright that it hurts my eyes. I want to live in darkness where the light will never reach me. Yet I am scared of the dark creatures 
Terrible things happen to good people every day.
Chest hurting mind burning the feeling the yerning I cant breathe I cant think heart racing chest aching mind blanking hopes fading I walk up I step up
Silence. Violence. Idelness. Trying to hide; to hide what I feel. Its too easy to lie. She'll eventually break. They will finally all know that her smile is fake. 
It's too bad I'm not a mas-o-chisttie me down like i asked-for-this   I'm screamingI'm strandedAbdicatedAbandoned   No. Free. Will.  
Salt is an accessory, not to be consumed aloneBut, salt is bitterShrewd white crystals that should be used in moderationBut I ate too muchClumps grasp at the walls of my throat
When Depression took control, Its first mate Anxiety at its right hand, Nothing could be done.   Years had spun by, Logic as my guide, Emotion an alien concept.  
i was 18 when i learned to spiral out of control, when i learned what a car crash felt like and how it hurt to hit rock bottom and not want to get back up. i was eighteen when depression hit like a freight train, when i lashed out at love and lear
What sweet relief Found only under The sweet ministrations Of razor’s edge, Noose’s end and Pill bottle bottom.
Poetry found me by my bedside table, heart contained within a dimly lit mind, I could not find the light switch.   Poetry found a foolish girl, one with storybook hands,
As day turns into night,I start to lose my might,And even though I try,That doesn't mean I like to lie. I'll always still fall,And I'll never stand tall.These words may hurt,As if I fell in the dirt.
Today I woke up Thoughts pass through my head thinking thoughts I had been thinking of being dead I am not dead, I am alive But this does not settle a broken mind
Sleep tugs me, these days, at so many moments Into its soft embrace. I remember when I was young, I would fight it Worried about wading through life Slow and dreamlike  
Brick by brick, all in place I pave the roads, through time and space I know not where, my feet will fall Yet still I try, to pave them all Till I have spent, all my days Paving roads, going different ways
What is worse than breaking a promise, One you made to a friend? Breaking the one you made to yourself. I made myself a promise long ago, When the world seemed open That I would be okay.
Smokey room filled with chills, Empty bottles, and pills. Today's fears are tomorrows tears.  She feels Euronymous creep in, As he shatters every seam. Today she is seen but tomorrow dreamed.   
The statement "it looks good on college applications" is hammered into me until it becomes a branding, programmed into my brain cells
I can’t breathe I can’t see Feeling so lost No light to guide me I have fallen Fallen deeper into the grave I can’t escape From this pain You can take my wings
It's dark. /I cannot rest. / No longer can I weep. / With eyes too dry and mind too weak. / My heart pumps fast, / I want to cry. / Anxiety attacks, no telling why. / Exhausting depression creeps in with the sun.
It should just roll off the tongue, right? It should jsut come natural. But not always. Almost never.   It likes to get stuck between your teeth, Or roll over once, twice, three times more.
Not a word they saidUnspoken words hung aboutPain inside but smiling withoutShe said goodnightAnd away she wentHe asked her to stayTo explain why she leftBut inside she was simply falling apartFeeling nothing is not what they sayNothing is so much
Questions/Anxiety.     It flows through my veins like venom; Pouring out like the tears of a waterfall. Help! Help me find my answers. Help me I’m lost.
My own words have been stuck Between esophagus and windpipe too many times before Leading to glassed over eyes and lost attentions   You have to understand these knots of fragmented declarations choke me.
Outside, Pristine Joyful laughter and witty comments are her body hair shines with intelligence, sole thick with confidence. She knows her world and the one before her
I feel so detached, watching the scene happening How could these blue scrubs be mine? This wristband?
I feel so detached, watching the scene happening How could these blue scrubs be mine? This wristband?
Beginning. Why do I not want to do anything?I don't know what to do. Look around.
Meeting new people makes me anxious. My hands fidget, My eyes sweat. Wait switch that around! My thoughts aren’t straight, Neither is my back. My thoughts aren’t straight. I already said that…
A small, meek girl with brown eyes and braids Expressing her creativity through words on a page Teachers commented, "quite ambitious for the second grade" She simply released frustations with writing rather than rage
I stopped looking for monsters under the bedWhen I came to see they lived in my headWhoever tells of a monster that hidesNever had one to abide besideOh, full of scorpions is my mind
Fear, overwhelming pain God, I can't believe I'm experiencing these emotions, am I even sane? Happiness becomes a drug, you're left for dead with a single tug 
I’m no prodigious poet. In fact I’m quite the odd bird, I’m always delving deeper into ideas others find absurd.   As my father crossed oceans I fell onto my knees; anxiety and depression:
RIP
I became a poet when I was born I became an artist when I died Putting ink to the paper helped me feel what was inside   As a babe I saw everything around me I'd lose sleep so as not to miss a thing
For years and years and years I thought, “Oh, I just can’t wait ‘til I’m grown up!” “I’ll go wherever I want and do as I please.
I am 14 and I am sinking to the bathroom floor for the third time this week. I read all the instructions, Filled out all the forms, But still I have fallen behind. I never speak up in class,
Her skin: soft as the edge of her sword And her hair: carved from the volcanic ashes. Her heart: away from advancing toward His hardline lips; and her faint eyelashes: Disguising keys to his grave, shallow as--
"The brighter the shadow the darker the light I try to cover it up with the viceIs that giving up the fight Bait from the or maybe gift from christ Either way I won't take a bite
You want a perfect poem. With a beginning, middle, and end.A perfect little thing that makes you feel fantastic with a good ending.Of nature, that makes you see the light of things that can't be seen.That is not this poem. Beginning.
I made this bed Here for two I wait an hour I can't move   I want him here He said he'd try I know he is I can't cry   Its not fair He's so great
In the abyss a crevice of black I curl my neck ready to attack With inked rapiers in my claws I slash and stab hoping for renewal   Half awake my sore back sprouts
Do you see me? Do you feel me? Can you feel the pain, the ache inside of me?   'Cause I'm alone fearful to hope. Terrified I'll drown and no one will be home.   So I just wander inside my head,
35
35 mph. Why am I here. 42 mph. I am nothing. 57 mph. Everyone would be happier. I’m a miserable person. 64 mph. I can’t. I can’t I can’t I can’t anymore.
I can't tell if the war between acceptance and fear is raging around me or inside of me. Cries for peace surpass my lips, but my voice isn't loud enough. With so much to say, 
I’m having a panic attack, help. My chest heaves, and I can’t quite breathe. Help, please, I plead.   Silently I wait for my negative thoughts to disappear.
Anxiety and me Go hand in hand with my sexuality and me I am not straight  And I am not gay I am somewhere in the in-between
I drove through shaded green canopies To the boundary of land and water, And as I tiptoed across crumbled rock Careful Not to fill my shoes with grain, The sour smell that lingered Between sand and sky
I walk down the empty road as a single car glides past I keep my head down as to avoid eye contact I wonder if they saw my eyes, how they are filled with fear. Not many people understand what the problem is here.
5 A.M.                  The alarm clock goes off like a fire alarm waking me from my dream state.                 I stumble through the labyrinth                 gathering my stuff and getting dressed. 
When it rains it pours they say, So go and find your zen; Even if for a moments time, Peace will reign again.
He stares at his ceiling It's half past four It's paranoia he's feeling He looks at his door No one will come Yet, he still tries to run Away from his demons They scare him a ton
With stress of home Rain clouds formed; My head became a thunderstorm. All these mantras, Words, Beliefs, Filled my head Like popping corn. Until one day, The top flew off,
What is wrong with me? Everything my mind whispers It is 3 am
Gazing at the sad sorrowed remains of what once was a person. Now finding beauty in destruction theres no chance of being saved. Ink starting to flow out like the tears that burned my face
I wish I was a bird.I could fly far away and never come back.I would finally be happy, and this depression I have I would finally lack.I would soar higher than any bird has before.
I wish I was a bird.I could fly far away and never come back.I would finally be happy, and this depression I have I would finally lack.I would soar higher than any bird has before.
I’m picking puzzle pieces to preach the perfect purpose of why I’m trying to whittle and woo These wondrous words Into an artwork,
It pounds through My bloodstream Paralyzing And choking I can't see Anymore What's important It sits in the back Waiting for me To notice But I'm stuck  At the front
It's one AM, and here I am. Nearly crying myself asleep again. But life goes on, and the tears will dry. But inside my heart, it feels necessary to cry. The darkness of night scares me. Nothing's inside of it, I'm just scared of what could be.
People are always getting ready for tomorrow, But tomorrow never gets ready for them. In fact, it doesn't even know they are there.   They choose and anxiety - Or rather, An anxiety chooses them -
"What is your favorite way to spend a lazy day?
Anxiety was diagnosed to him. Bipolar was diagnosed to her. If he takes his meds, he will be alright. If she takes a couple more, she won't make it tonight.
Anxiety is crippling Shaking, gasping, the world seems to spin The smallest things trigger it Do you know how long it's been? since I've actually had a calm Knees weak, eyes tearing
Being free from my thoughts is something I've found impossible to do. I feel as if my mind is caged like the animals at the zoo. I want to be able to conquer my hindering fear, but the demons in my head are incredibly near.
The clock ticks slowly Yet fast and maliciously Time is running out No time to flee Heart hammering Breath quickening Bones paralyzed Quaking with fear In shoes that are
We are all bizarre, some of us are just better at hiding it. We pull up our hoods and hide away. You don't even look our way. While you see headphones, we hear the music.
1. Strip down to nothing in your bathroom. Avoid looking into the mirror. Remember everything you’re feeling isn’t real, this is all just some messed up dream you’re living don’t let the dream mess you up too
Loud heavy breathing. I can't inhale or exhale  and terror fills me. 
It was nice seeing you today, and yesterday, and on my birthday, basically I see you all the time. Do I enjoy when you show up?, No. I absolutely hate you. I cannot be myself when you are around.
There is this deep, evasive emptinessthat never ceases to lack control.That conquers and escapes,that stirs quiet chaos in my soul.
Sometimes the darkness overwhelms me, constricting my lungs until I forget what it's like to breathe deeply. Sometimes the darkness consumes me, eating away at my happiness
I wonder... At what point did I start worrying about my looks; hating how my body doesn't fit me, and finding all the small, horrible details? At what point
The Fallen Angel is Dying-- The pain comes in strides Chained down to Earth, left alone; tortured by her other side Her wings--they droop to shame, as sound stops and begins
They don't know about it. The anxiety I face. When I have to go to a place, Where I know little to no people. From working at the restaurant, To a party at my friend's place.  
You and I were like fire and gasoline, each time we saw each other, you inflamed me my mind, my soul, my heart was alive but then the depression hit me and I was just trying to survive.
addicted to zoning out but still learning about growing out my mind is always filled with doubt  as I drop the ashes into the grout I wonder why I'm a social drought
Not to rain on your parade But I’m not the fragile crybaby you think I am. You see, Suicidal thoughts weight a ton I trek through concrete jungles With 500 pounds of loneliness on my backpack,
On my own little island, there is little means of escape I sit alone, on my nearly treeless home in the middle of a delta My only neighbor, hardly acknowledges that I am even there
How many people know What it feels like To have anxiety How many know What a panic attack Feels like To be unable To communicate  To freeze up in public To find an escape route
Today is "normal"Today I'm one of them No one asks what's wrong
I screamed  my hands automatically went to my ears  I hated the noise  I still don't understand why I scream  my chest trapped the air  i was hyperventilating  tears streamed down my face 
when i wake upthe first thing i do is think of youi pick up my phone, and send a texthopefully my words tighten your chestnext, i set it downput both of my hands on this guilty crown
As the room gets smaller And the voices get louder I remind myself to breath Death is the only thing that is permanent Say it with me: Bed, Mirror, dresser, carpet, blanket Once more, darling ground yourself
Tears falling by nite Smiles rising by day Wanting to express yourself, but not really knowing the way Glass shattered, pain misunderstood People telling you to change, because change is good
Shadows put words in my brain That I can barely fathom Running back and forth  At the speed of light and I'm trying with all my might Because I'm on this ledge But I'm afraid to jump
Have you ever drowned in a dry space? 
When I'm in my bed, thoughts swirl through my head  Like ice cream on a summer day I think of my day then  And how it could've been  Could've been better  Six panic attacks today 
When you ask me, "Are you okay?" I want to say no, I want to say that I'm breaking inside, That I'm a shattered piece of this human being I used to be,
I promise to write every day, Even if it’s only a sentence Or a short paragraph That kinda sucks And sounds like I was drunk
  There comes a time when your body forfeits the game and your heart reaches the limit of pain While your soul shrivels  up in shame.  
  Their words a bullet their mouth a gun I am a victim like many people under the sun
A white cloak wraps around me I’m not cold, not on the outside I pull it closer still Maybe I can stop the cold   I see you walk away
He draws with silver And it comes out red Neat Clean lines Cover most of his body He tries to go deeper Fear of failure
  Fear, something everything is born with It can’t be washed away or forgotten Whether it be a child’s fear of monsters in the dark
Sending a puppy off to be someone's eyes. Fighting depression and anxiety. Making my way through a world with few allies. Feeling like an outsider to society.   A way to express the feelings inside,
I am a tight rope walkerarms out, muscles tense, fighting gravitycrowds gather to watch my fall   I am a ship in a bottle trapped behind a wall of glassyearning for a sea I was not made for  
What if I forgot to turn off my cars headlights, What if I forgot that I've checked 3 times this night?   What if college is going to bury me in a grave of debt,
Head, shoulders, knees and toes knees and Head is filled with very foreign thoughts Shoulders lifted by the harsh anxiety I’ve somehow forgot
My life is a sea of anxiety I feel like I'm drowning I need help, reciprocate me I’m falling apart at the seem And I only have me to blame  
I'll express this today That beauty in the world comes to me seemingly so quickly At least until I feel like everyone in the possible known universe is ticked at me I'll express this today
It's like an earthquake. The world shifts around you, Shaking your heart, shaking your mind, Shaking your control until it crumbles away Leaving you both helpless and defenseless,
This is for the kids who walk in the hallways with thier eyes cast towards the floor This is for the kids who play alone on the playground during recess, kicking the wood chips beneath your sneakers, waiting for that bell to ring
I don’t like to drink coffee, it intensifies my anxiety  or maybe it makes me more aware; to uncover when i thought i was already bare. got to fill my schedule up wth tasks; can’t have time to simply sit.
Nya
Silence bothers me the most Because it's the amplifier that DeeDee chose No one's around to know So DeeDee convinces me I'm alone She says I'm pathetic Insignificant, worthless
I love my friends. They're always there for me when I need them,          A fucking lie; they're useless,                   terribly frivolous rats, who never stop to consider-- 
It nibbles quietlyon comforton truston sanity     It chomps loudlywhen nobody's aroundwhen nobody'll helpwhen nobody'll see    
The trees--they quiver with life.Yes, all around me,They shake with strife.Their bones, bare of bark,They're stark white cast in dark.Sister stars shoot to earth,Little pricks of light plunging-
Trapped in a box I am or am not Both alive and suffocating Dancing with daydreams Stitch me up Rip me up Use your own digression Eighteen and newly risen Faced with nightmare laced regression
A word was never uttered from your mouth But apologies was spoken from mine A group of friends hung around you all the time While I had no one to confort me when I cried You stole my heart
Should've been born a tap-dancer Maybe that would justify the way My foot beats incessantly at any solid surface But that wouldn't explain my hands Fingers fumbling around themselves
Eyes wide open. Mouth closed shut Hands clinched in fists, like the one in my gut. Whole body shivers. Nerves too much I guess this time I'm shit out of luck. Air forbidden entrance.
I grew up, expected to be an adult I went through rocks and stabs I know we all fought People watched as if I was a cast   No one gave me a hand we all grew up we all went through the wet sand growing with all of my lumps and dumps   No one can se
Art lets me release my pent-up feelings, Lets me take out my frustrations, Lets me escape my malicious thoughts.   I need expression to clear my mind.   No other thing could replace the effects that
Beloved architect Lifter of sorrows I cling to you as darkness falls over me Visionless unrest arises as fear echoes vehemently But you are not shaken My heart beats fiercely and my body fails me
GunshotsWho could it be?I picture a student in ill-fitting clothing and unwashed hair.What kind of rifle? Is this how I'll die?What will I say when I beg for my life? I stop breathing. Eyes are frantic My heart sinks like lose change.I Imagine all
All I need is myself For in me there is strength Hidden talents But as an open book I feed my flaws
I’m caught in an internal whirlwind, no escape in sight. Despair and doubt’s heavy blows bruise my skin, sharp knife stabs of panic and fear cut deep. Reality and my mind’s deceptions blur.
Today… I'm Smiling. I am happy because I'm surrounded by people who love me. Today… I'm strong.  I feel like I can actually make a difference in this world. Today… I feel accepted.
The voice in my head never stopsDay in and day outIt repeats what I’ve done wrongI can’t get through a day without regretting my pastMy head hurts more than my heart ever didMy heart was broken but I found a glue stickBut my mind is a tool that gl
I hate how the word hopeimpersonates a pleasant state of being How it whispers wishful whimpers  Soft promises to keep my heart beating As if I need to hold on
  I am sitting in this house, as alone as I could possibly be at the moment. Trying, no, scraping my brain to think of what could possibly be my number one need.                                                                    
Crisp, white pages fluttering in the wind Calling out to me To write. I am my words. My ideas. And my journal stores them all. It is my companion, My ally. Without it, I would be stranded
It's funny, y'know? How you can know someone Know everything about them Share memories, spend countless hours with them And then one day As if out of nowhere, THe memories fade
What really sucks the most is when you pour yourself into one person who promises they won't leave, And as time goes  on, You gradually drift apart by no fault of your own.
That moment When you are so scared To lose people, You keep dangerous People in your life, And no matter how much You know you should leave, You're terrified of hurting them
Pounding, Prodding, Perturbing Screaming, Screeching, Seething Throbbing, Thrashing, Trapping Repeating, Repeating, Repeating Silence. Begging for silence Doing anything for one moment of silence
Silent. Only buzzing above, soft crinkles below. Days roll by The silence, deafening. My words carry out, stretching on for miles and miles Yet no one hears Piece by piece Little by little
Loneliness lusts for souls like mine Hopefulness hides in souls like yours I am weathered and withered, weary and worn My soul's the night, but yours is the morn.
To those with anxiety and those who do not,Let me tell you why fear no longer dictates my thoughts.  My mind's been in a box, it's a comfortable place,It's got movies and posters and books on display.Like a cathedral this place is my sanctuary.Lik
My mind's been in a box, it's a comfortable place,It's got movies and posters and books on display.Like a cathedral this place is my sanctuary,Like a bunker this place is my fortress. When trouble rises I jump inside And say "no, no world I'll sta
You're not there,  I can't see you, Yet you're all around me.  You have me pinned against the wall.  You're whispering in my ear, "You're so incompetent" Slowly depriving me of my ability to breath
I know where the forks are in many houses I know which light switch brightens what room I could tell you how many stairs on each staircase But I couldn't tell you which I'd choose  
Frigid, icy shudders Heart so close to dead Yet with her hand my chest it beats Warm skin against frostbitten lips A summer kiss to dull my winter sorrow Her laugh could make the flowers bloom and birds sing
There are days in which my forearm remembers stories that I made up, That haunt me and forebode potential illusions. I remember days in which there were many of these days within a day.
I need to breathe but there isn't any air, I need to clear my head but I also like my memories and don't wanna forget I need to sleep but if I close my eyes
  He is talkative I am quiet   He is brave I am a coward   He is calm I am anxious.   He is my rock I am not myself without Him   He is my helper
How could anyone love her? A single moment in time, her head is tilted back in laughter Used to disguise the moments later where the tears are from something more fragile.
One moment you're fine Then all the sudden It hits you   Heart pounding Palms sweating Its hard to breathe   Everyone is asleep I need to calm down what can I do? 
writing about Death without beingunoriginaland depressing ishard. for  
In time’s pleasant age of anticipation I find myself wearying without aspiration To sorrows seeping with grave desperation, Wondering how to escape this mounting frustration.  
Though happiness is very close, happiness is hard to find,  real, true happiness. Everyone deserves happiness. I had to start taking risks without worrying about the consequences,
They say there's always a silver lining. Always a new day, That there's always a light waiting at the end of the tunnel. Well my lightHas burnt out. SizzledCrackledAnd flickered out.Like those sad faulty Christmas lights dangling off the tree.But
Many misty mornings I CAST into the deep sea my net,   Thinking...perhaps, that ALL my efforts might pay my debt.
I turn your words over in my head Like I slowly turn the pages of an interesting book. I hold them delicately in my thoughts As if the word fragile were an understatement To me this is utterly fascinating
He pours scalding water over your wounds boiling you from the outside in.  His words are poison soap grating off layers of the world
It's like sitting in your room late at night-- a comfortable, accepting, gentle place but there's no one there but you. Only you sitting alone in the dark. It's not frightening, there aren't any nightmares; 
Distract without one, I  would be alone with my  thoughts- tearing my mind to  pieces. 
if the sand was silk would you still step over it? if the rocks were gems would you pick them up? or would you still step over it?   it become harder to live or more likely so
Your personality is a smile. You glow with it, beautiful with such imperfections.   
He walks like he has some place to be, hurried footsteps resounding through the empty hallways. He keeps his head down, watches his feet, as if that will save him from stumbling.
Before you date somebody with amental illness, you must rememberthat calling them beautiful willnot adjust their brain's chemicallevels.  Sweet words do not reversesickness that plagues the mind
StrandedBehind the miles of oceanSand piled up like hoursAnd dark just dark:     Empty.Just water, andSand, andDark, and    Me.And I needHow I needI need     Air
They found his diary under the bed. “Just days too late,” the agent said. Tales of sorrow, woe, and despair “This shouldn’t have happened; it’s really not fair”  
**I had to seriously sit down and write what I felt, I'm sorry . I love going back to my emotions maybe I'll feel the same way before and read this. Maybe I'll smile and maybe I'll cry but I know I needed this outlet**
Late night woken, barely alive. struggling to see the light through other's eyes. covered in darkness, covered to the core. try to show people me, but they don't see the sores.  
In the lonely darknessStands a kind, but hurt orphanShe goes by the name, LaurenHiding her tears with smilesWhile looking up at the night skyNoticing its the only beautiful thing...In her life
Hide the scars draw a heart on your armtake a pictureadd a filterkiss her scars "stay strong, love"  
My mind is such a mess. I wish I could explain. Am I happy or am I upset? It's hard to tell with such pain. Should I even care? Because at times things aren't fair. I could feel the change.
Yeah, I was sad when Robin Williams died I sat there and watched as my whole family cried But what got me was the outrage that came from his suicide Yet, nobody cared this much when Lelah Alcorn died
We wake up every morning because they tell us to. Throwing on clothes as they see fit. We wake up every morning because they tell us to. Going to schools they see as fit.
Writing by the light of a door cracked open is the most honest one can get with oneself. Especially when that door leads to the hallway of a psychiatric hospital.
Fear, fear of not knowing this feeling. Suffocating, stripping my breath, my worry pulses reaching farther. Is it pain or an insane addiction that sharpens my breathing?
I guess you could say that I have a lot of friends I've never met a stranger and My friendships have no end and I say that not to brag but to say they don't depend
why do I keep trying, why do you want me fighting. I am stressed with myself.   Why do you want me here? are you really in fear?
Blink The worst things happen when All I can see is the back of my eyelids Blink But blink fast or you'll miss everything But how would you know? You're eyes are closed
Restless days have accumulated from the regression of my knees. Parasites are sinking in, remembering the days I turned away from you. This mistake devastated your heart, but God the heart is elastic.
My Depression and my Anxiety are in an epic love affair. They do majestic flamenco dances filled with passion, as they run into the other, with the intention of killing,
I remember the last night I spent in the hospital Sitting on my windowsill like I was on top of the world, When really the world was on top of me And yet, I couldn’t cry  
self portrait / bled through i'll flood the room for all of you
A REDEFINED TREASURE I was named after an ocean grace But I have been drowning in my own outrage.   I am being eaten alive by life as my thoughts squirm down my neck.
It consumes all my thoughtsTakes over my bodily functionsIt's overpoweringRuling with society's corruptionsThe darkness devouring
The feeling of walking to a wall We’ve been through this a billion times,Yet you still don’t “get it,”The luxury of observing meLike a rich politician at the Freak ShowA privilege I didn’t inherit.Apathy cannot be found in my DNAThough it
someone asks me how we survive day by day, night by night? i want to tell them that we don’t but the words taste like falsehoods on my lips because the truth is, we do survive. but we do not do it alone.
The children are dyingand their mothers are crying.The kid took a bullet through his headright over his bed becausehe dreaded waking upto go to school in the morning.The teachers are scorning the kids
Anxiety. One of the many things, That can drive me insane. Consistently waiting for something, Or in my case, Someone.
What is there to say when the world's gone astray? What's there to fight when the government leans right? What reason to cry when all rivers run dry? What's worth the pain once I've gone insane? It's worth the love
Don't give up, it get's better. Don't let those eyes get any wetter. Don't beat yourself up or tear yourself down. Don't give the world its saddest sound. Don't let your mind lose itself.
My greatest weakness is fear. But it's not just any fear, it's a disease. It creeps and crawls onto every decision. It beats me down into indecisiveness.
They always say its more fish in the sea but what about the fish that starts with an m and ends with an e.. What about the one thats always in the deep end, so far from the light yet still acts as though things are alright..
Wake up. Hold your breath. Listen.   While you hear the hollers and screams coming from down the hall, You sneak out of bed, hoping not to be heard.
I’m not saying I need a prescription But I’ve made multiply Attempts of self-inflections, and ignoring all of life’s safety restrictions
at 4:07 she ponders thatshe can captureneither stranger nor familiar,neither body nor mind,neither meaning nor aesthetic-- she, instead, is the conquered--
All alone on an island no one here to see yet there is approval I still need my ultimate weakness that cripples me is my never-ending anxiety to be approved in this corrupt society
Today, I will enjoy it.I will enjoy my coffee.I won't think about everything that bothers me,Or troubles me.I will enjoy sitting on my bed,Waiting for the flood of light to enter the room.
A lot of what people "need"Is a person,That's love;Is an item,That's greed;Neither are for me.I don't "need" anyone,I don't need any single item.What I need is much simpler.All I need
What I can't live without? Hope. It seems so quintessential, but it keeps the sharp edges of my mind gentle. Without it I wouldn't be here, becase 3AM anxiety isn't so sincere.
Continue..... Continue to live Continue to process I dont remember how this began When did I go wrong? When did I decide my bed is where I chose to stay safe?
In a time of desprate need In a time of sadness and despair  In a time, when I felt lonley, as if no one was there     In a time when I had anxiety, having nothing but insecurity to spare
She runs away to hide nobody giving her a second glance  so no one sees her cry why can't they give her another chance Broken girl all alone locked away in her room putting on her headphones
It has conditioned me to fear To fear everything life has to offer To see the bad side of every situation To doubt even the simplest acts of kindness This monster has created a shell of a person
I don't remember what it's like to feel safe in my own skinI don't remember what it's like to wake up without my heart beating as if hummingbirds are trapped within my chest
  Little Things They say that’s what it’s all about. Perhaps even the things you can’t live without.   That little thing holds back all the little ticks in my head that are coming out, oh god
On a painfully thin edge, and trying desperately not to fall. Constantly swaying, constantly breaking, and rebuilding, and reconvincing that just jumping isn’t the right thing.
i will never know how to breathe without pain there will always rest a parasite in the wrinkles of my brain speaking in code to my uterus and to my esophagus, this "being human"? i'm bad at this
Am I I am ADHD I am Anxiety I am Depression  I am the product of all  the hells I encounter.   There is a monster in them I morph into the monster. I become  ADHD
As summer rises on a winter's blow I see a dead man's journey far below   for who could tell when my brain bunched right when the time suddenly crunched   Or perhaps after
  Alone in a dark room nothing to come home to she's trying to figure out why   Her light rises with the sun then sets when the day's done no matter how hard she'll try  
1 2 3 4 5 6 at 6 I learned that marriage can't end well and that families can't be happy 7 at 7 I knew things that I shouldn't  have. 7 I wrote stories about death and sex and murder. 
You have no idea how badly i hurt, how much pain i endure when my anxieties and fears pulse through my blood… How easy it seems to just let them out, it only costs an inch of flesh…
i honestly dont know what you expected this isnt a poem you want to know how much i want attention? yeah me too.
tick tock. tick tock. you’re running out of time. you’re going to be too late. tick tock tick tock
Society. Supposed being. Supposed way. Action. Expectation, Contemplation,  Judgement, Wall.
There’s no glamour in it. No flashing lights lighting up the reflection in the tears of her eyes. Just purple circles from sleepless nights
Stress is a failure to comply with opinions and due dates. Stress forces procrastination. Stress brings even the strongest to their knees in times of need. Stress is an unfortunate destination.  
I cut the cord and now I’m floating here above the bloody mess that used to be the thing they called me not quite a person just me  
I am s  h a    p e  l  e      s  s Mirrors can’t show,                Photos can’t show,                               Awards can’t show, Me, nor my inner dialogue. Because I am s    h    a pe   l e ss
Lightning cracks --- I sleep like a sailor all alone on rough seas The night devils: they torment me All alone in my lonely dreams   I dream I’ve made mistakes. Now, ocean water overtakes
  Staring over the steaming fumes,prophetic wisps, tendrils of the muck,rising up and twisting in her nose,   Eyes bloodshot,covers torn asunder,an empty bed lays in ruins,  
As I stand bravely in front of thousands My body starts trembling with fear and thoughts I try to calm myself down But standing still makes me tremble with a frown   I'm shaking, now
After the NAMI meeting organized by my family, AKA the GSA club, We, My friends, Stood in a circle behind the refreshment table—
Scared of what? I can’t say I got to go, have to getaway Heart begins to thump, to race wild Feeling frightened, alike a child Breathing quickens, I want it to slow, get back in control
Does pain really cease? Or is it a mere conformity? Does darkness provide ease? Or simply consume the light we no longer see?
My chest is caving in, But there's nothing besides the weight of a t-shirt Against my skin, Yet my chest is heavy. And I must have been impaled with a bullet Because there's blood draining from my heart,
My bones hang loose. Shaking unconsciously With no rhythmic tune. There’s gravel in your eyes. Was that from when I Tried to run away? Did I spew up the ground when you Said it's too late? Now you're begging me to
The thing about anxiety is I may look fine from the outside, but On the inside I am erupting like a volcano. Except I do not get the privilege To explode in public.  I am forced to hide the bubbling emotions
When I use words to explain my depression, I use those of others. I claim to be a writer and yet I become so certain that what I have is too little.
Please, don't touch me. But, please, hug me.  Please, make sure everything is in order. But, please, let me do it. Please, don't make eye contact with me.  But, please, tell me my blue eyes are pretty.
The race for finals beginsEveryone around me playful and funAlthough I try, I just can't winSocially inept and such a dum dumI wish life could be eaiserbut what fun would that be
  I am every bit as pathetic as the paper in my mouth.   The paper that will very soon become a topic of discussion among my friends;      Wondering why my hands now smell like anxiety,
There was a month where I smelled like cigarettes.     You were the month that I tasted like misplaced jokes,                                        who's punch-line snaked around my jaw;
I never thought I'd slip this hard.  
You told me I made you feel the way I feel when I draw circles under my tongue,                                     but I'm not very good with new concepts.Driving the nails into the coffin of my inhibitions,
Pain brings the saddest days or the happiest moments Pain of sacrifice is more bueatiful then a childs pain turned into a starlit lotus If you lose pain you lose focus
I'm stuck in my head. I've run out of luck my brain and my heart; they bled. I'm stuck and I just want to get out. Climbing through the muck my head just screams and shouts.  
every night i go to bed with hate in my head, and yet every morning, as i get out of bed, the hate is still there; i still hate myself. i can’t get this self-hatred taste out of my mouth.  
When the sunkissed skin is disturbed, like the soil of a fresh grave, it's noticed. If you look close, or lazily drag your fingers over the forbidden places, you'll know. Once it's pulled apart, it's hard to splice.
Cacophony, n. harsh discordance of sound; dissonance: it's the sound of a coffee cup clattering rolling on the tile of a classroom floor the anxiety of the ACT bolded, capitalized, yelled across
With the bed of roses are the thorns intertwined with them. Such beauty comes with pain, and with pain comes the blood. Such soft plump ridges, an illusion from within. Everyone touches, with no registration.
Lost I am a lost soul, a helpless child. Depression controls me, while death waits for me. Every second I dream of my demise. I die in silence because my screams hide behind my laughter.
of few things I am certain.  
When asked what I remember about my childhood, I will answer “smoke;” There’s a lingering, hovering cloud in all my most recallable memories.
You may strip me to the bone and examine my every part Go ahead and remove my soul While I pray to GOD that I will let go Of all my insecurities And my bad qualities And a broken back that will not stop me.
She is the girl. The girl who would rather be known as the girl who never fell in love  Than the girl who fell in love Only to fall on her face Who won't try because she might fail
I can't think, I can't feel. My mind is overloading, How is this real? Anxiety and depression, Every day and night. I don't want to down more medicine, Just to be alright.
I thought anxiety controlled me. I was scared to think about it. I started feeling dead inside. I could never breathe anymore. I wasn't me anymore. I thought being 12 was supposed to be fun.
One day I saw a person on the ground and no one stopped to help  They walked around and over and past them,  Down the street and around the corner until they were gone And this person just sat there crying and bleeding, 
I fear that I am a mistake a mistake of God.. and one day He'll realize it, then I'll disappear. No one will notice, no one will care, some may even be relieved..
Dear mom, I am here to say I'm sorry. I am sorry I'm not the little girl you wanted me to be. I'm sorry that I'm hurting you. I'm sorry you have to deal with me. I'm sorry for not giving it my best.
Being a hot mess isn’t hot; I know that better than anyone. Sometimes my heart overworks my head and vice versa.
The void is speckled purple and yellow And I am floating above it             overwhelmed by nausea And I don’t know why I haven’t yet fallen in.   Space hurtles around me ever cyclical And I am here
How is it possible to feel so much joy and to still be dead to the world? I am depressed, but in the moments we are together I shed the anxiety, that leaden straight-jacket holding
Anxiety rules my life, cutting me open like a knife. I was on the cold, stone table ready to be taken under. Forcing myself to throw up was my blunder. I stopped fighting the urge, gagging until I slurged.
I am, Broken Shattered behind how my education Deprived me of all hope of a normal life What is normal though? Normal for me Is waking up in the middle of the night Drenched in sweat, 
In elementary school I had so many friends. Nobody cared what you looked like or the clothes you wore. But now that I'm older and high school is here, there's judgement all around. I used to be so confident,
Putting on a fake smile To keep the questions away To keep the pain away To keep the memories away
Stop. Close your eyes. Count 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. . .  Breathe.   Rinse and repeat
I sit. Everything is ok. Then it starts. My heart starts to pound. My hands start to sweat. I can feel my breath start to quicken. Faster, and faster.  
Initially, this wasn’t exactly the reality of the story I imagined I would be strolling through. Madness intertwined in my balance,
  Hushed within myself the instrumental softly incurred.
I feel exhaustion. I feel broken I feel lost and im still hoping That I can get out of this whole Im in Filling to the brim with water within Im trapped Im crying out and no one can see
My brain is taking complete control and it just won't stop. I keep shaking all the way to my soul; I can feel my heart drop. My hands go over my ears,
I have so many words that I cannot express Trying to vomit feelings out of a hole of emptiness I'm depressed and anxious but I'm just tired I guess They ask if I'm okay and I just say Yes
I am strong -er than I was before Curled up, shaking, on the floor. Panic attacks that would make me weak.
Like a foot is stretching my heart Contorting, stressing, I feel nothing at all. Like they're talking, And I'm talking back, But the words are vegetables Why are carrots coming out,
I am so much more than what I think I am I am more than my diagnosis I am more than my medication I am more than my label I am more than the biases and stigmas   I will struggle and have my bad days
imagine there is a landmine in your veins tic tic ticcing away counting down the days until you can look in the mirror and see yourself straight -   imagine
Itchy skin, cicadas, buzzing lights, shivering, waking up when the sky is cloudy, a metal fork scratching a porcelain plate, falling in public, knots being brushed out of hair,
I’m happy my counselor is an incompetent piece of shit because it means she doesn’t, ask the real questions, tiptoes over my glass shards and scars hoping not the strum the wrong cord.  It’s been a months and we still refer to my eating disorder
And it's not the cute kind of fear, not the kind with butterflies and giggles. It's the tyoe that puts a lump in your throat,
I have tripped over luck and stumbled upon tragedy. I find myself stuck in an elevated, praised, honoured institution, full of the most vile and wretched creatures to fill this earth.
On the outside I seem the same as you, but peel away the plastered on grin and you'll find that out of sight of watching eyes, I am anything but sane.   My mind is termoil,
To: anxiety. you don't get to be capitalized. you want to be recognized but i can't allow it. can't. but i do, i allow you to  overwhelm my brain, my mouth, my hands. i've bled from you.
Do you feel that? 
No matter what I write Behind the screen of doubts A mental prison of night Obscured by the formidable shouts
When I was four. I was taught to be good. I was told to do what was expected. Because good girls don't argue. When I was eight. I was taught to be smart. I was told that I had to be the best.
The moonlight rays Slice through your window, Similar to the way The blade kissed Your skin only moments ago. You look out with Blurry vision and
I’m not as okay as I said I was I’m taking the pills, I promise But I still feel like there’s not Much you can do for me now.  
Elementary schoolI bring home big scoresThe best in the testAdvancedExemplary
I am the optimist, born pure into a world that is broken and bent Nurtured in a loving atmosphere Happy, hopeful, positive   I am the optimist, tainted by the world Remaining ever hopeful
You know that feeling?   It's funny and dishonest,   And you should be able to laugh at it.   But it creeps up on you with taunts of isolation,
Kat
Kat The one with paint on her arms, with purple in her raven black hair.  The one with a pencil behind her ear, a sketchbook in her hand, a glint in her eye Hazel eyes, that is, framed in intense blackness. 
I am a voice for t
I turn the lock, fingers trembling My back to the door Bury my face in my hands And sink down to the floor
Trying to ignore this stuff inside my head the feelings I feel, The things that I said It's not me, you see I am caught up in a bubble I feel I am not here and sometimes seeing double
I felt his tiny hands tug lightly to the hem of my skirt “What do you want?” “Solitude” “I’m busy”   His dainty fingers curled around my own “What do you want?” “Repose” “I have no time”
The poison spills our weak undernourished minds Spinning through our bones Like clockwork waiting to be unwoven  Tracking time, never ceasing, waiting  Works unseen, whispers of the wind 
Somehow out of this bright, illuminated room a fog began to seep in. It began like a low, slithering snake, then rose up and swallowed the space whole. I couldn’t see, I couldn’t hear.
(note: relating to someone that I know. also I don't know much about poem structure, so sorry it that isn't good) Fear. Anxiety. I fear anxiety.
  I sell myself short  with these small rhyming pomes I could make a da-vinci and hang it in homes   I choose humour simple simplicity
 I am... a light blub in a small abandoned house, and there is an owner,
I'm losing my sanity, Swore on my heart, by the devils profanity. Sold my soul to heavens illusions, Lost all hope in its shameful intrusions.
I wrote a poem about a girl, And I though that I'd share it to the world. So That it would bring hope to the ones That are heart broken, And help them to find words that are soft spoken.
I look upon the moving crowd Slowly sighing, looking down Hurting, fallen, angry, shy Now I cannot just seem to fly   I hear the Rumors in the halls Now I get unwanted calls
I get nervous when people don’t text me bac
I remember when I was little and I had this perfect family. I remember having 4 sisters, a mom and a dad.
You tell yourself again, firmly: This is not a symbol.
Leave, go out of me You’re the thing that kills me You let all my friends see And then they leave  
Demons are chasing me People replacing me Lies are incasing me While the truth is facing me My steps retracing me
She breathes, inhales dirty air.
It comes so quickly It leaves me weak and helpless I try to talk Nothing, as if somebody hit the mute button My breathing quickens As if I just finished running a marathon
My life is a book.
i was deconstructed before i was made anew   (that is to say that i broke down felt weary knew suffering   that i had counted days between days
Me
                          
It's worse then being trapped in a burning building,
I want to stop trying,
Am I desperate or just insane? Because in this moment all I see is the pain in my face as well as yours, You won't let me apologize for this because you say it's not my fault, But you tell me it is my fault,
It's vulnerability that makes depression feel so romantic.
Depression and anxiety,Those things that try to come back to me.O and that PTSD,
I do believe the walls move in this place
Let        me        have      this. Let me be a great big mess. Cover up my face, don’t look, but let me fret that this is the best you can get from me.
  In a dark dungeon.   Screams and cries- echoing off the black walls.   Normalcy turned freak. Unanswered panic. Heart beating out. Crying bloody, bloody murder.  
Cool breezy autumns spent resting on park benches
Official diagnosis: Anxiety and Depression In Kindergarten terms, that means My brain won’t shut off And sometimes I can’t remember How to be happy   It means that when I get home at night
Power On.   Channel One: A little girl plays outside, kickball, with her neighbors.  They laugh and run.  The sky starts to get dark, Curfew.  She wants to finish the round; it’s her turn to kick. 
Hey, You! Sitting, struggling, struggling to be sitting  still. Fidgeting and squirming in the seat but   No. Knows standing, Standing is worse. Because standing
He put a razor inside my lunch pale Along with heads or tails I know he's hinting death As I hide behind my veil   Need a pair of clippers To cut my cutthroat nails And I red pair of scissors 
"My depression comes in waves" I told my mother, hoping she would understand. "It's like being carried out sea and I can't fight the freezing water that paralyzes my limbs and and burns my eyes and fills my mouth and I drown. Over, and over.
that’s the problem, I don’t know I’m on a wooden boat being tossed to and fro
Dear boy with the alluring smile, Thank you for taking away my trust once again:  
My body has a language my mind just can't explain I'm falling out of this world and into a frame Insanity never came Labeled on a shelf, the only person I cant make happy is myself.
Everything seems blurry.
Running scared down Defeatist Street, Trying to go back in time. Retreating isn’t security, Especially since I out grew mine.   I wish I could be me again, Feeling free to run and wonder.
The shivers in the night, the  quiet inner fight really, victory for me is a night of rest I often cool my hot body, shield it from peace
I start to wonder, wander through my mind that life
Fear hung tightly in the air, clouding my airways and thickening my lungs I gasped for air but it felt like water crashing into my dry mouth in oxygen's place
It was a matter of time before I was aware of what was happening But I would agree I was oblivious to the obvious Death was catching up to me   It was a state of denial That the way I operated
breathe intry not to throw upsqueeze eyes shuthold breathfreak outbreathe back outand pretend to be calm
“a hopeful eye first to jump in a sea of fire,still the scorching lesson leaves more to be desired.
The cold and the confusion. The overlooked and the overdoses. The solemn and the silence. The fatigued and the forgotten. This is the only world I know.  
I'm so nervous and scared, I'm panicking horribly, driving myself mad, my skin feels more sensitive now, hairs risen up, electrified.
II.
If I could make the flow of my hands just a bit more....smooth.If I could make the pictures last long enough in my mind to take the time to draw them perfectly.
One day you’re going to find yourself
you have flowers and bees then water feeds trees even an ostrich would warn a zebra of danger why doesn’t anyone’s mind work with mine?   a mom and her daughter will speak in unison
Take a deep breath. Inhale through your nose, 1 2 3 4 seconds, lungs filling with air, fit to burst Hold it, waiting for the drop, then breath out, air whistling through your lips, But silently, careful not to draw eyes.
Often I find myself in thought Silent on the outside, screaming on the inside Internally I fought
Psychotic (adjective); crazy, mental, reckless, Out of control, violent, strange, scary- You throw around the word psychotic as if it won't hurt
I am buried beneath the fear of my own failure. I gaze at the bird sing as she is falling. I tell you my secrets, though I do not know what they are, only that they are veiled behind my shame.
Fire. 
She sits there, thoughts swirling around her A hurricane of hurt and pain There's no escape. They follow everywhere. Haunting and creeping through her daily life
No. She's not fine, She's not good, or ok, or fine. She's terrible. She can't stop the thoughts, she can't stop the swirling ideas. She can't even speak. The fear is constant,
As I stare into the depths of your eyes, I see the real you, Not your fake smiles, Or your deceptive laughs; No, I see the person behind the facade I see the desperation to fit in,
I don’t want to let go
taptaptaptaptap tap i tap my feet they tell me to stop i tap my pen they tell me to stop
When the darkness can have a name
My freshman year of high school I didn’t think
As you walk toward the light  At the end of the tunnel  It gets smaller.  And so you are running,  Running like the mad woman you are  Trying to get there before it's gone.  But it's too late.
So tell me how you spent your family's money on cheap cigars you couldn't quit Tell me how you destroyed your room to mask the pain in your heart, but you couldn't forget
Five feet tall Sometimes I feel small in more ways than one Anxiety presses against my chest and takes my breath away Insecure and worried Insecure about the way others view me
 I go out drinking and seeking, The nght  life is what I am thinking, All those sleeping have me wishing I was dreaming.    My heart beat is racing and my pulse is pacing,
Birth, Lunacy, Death
Sometimes I wonder If madness sounds like civilization   Noisy music Incessant hubbub and babble The scrape of sandals on concrete Breaths
I'm not a hero I am not good like he was But I am alive while he is not   There is nothing like the guilt I feel Guilt that shakes me awake 3 AM   I usually wish to take your place
They tell me to breathe slowly. They tell me to picture my “happy place.” They tell me it’s all in my head. As if I didn't already know that. Do you not understand the definition of a mental disorder?
My mind is spinning I am going to throw up Anxiety kills ~Dmonica
What if everything changed? What if it got better? What if it got worse? What if it I was happy?
It is a dense fog As thick as pea soup Struggling to suffocate me Eyes unable to see mere inches ahead   It is a storm cloud overhead  Ominous and dark Filled with rain about to drown me
Blank. Nothing.  Just fine. Peachy keen. Him. Him. His face. His eyes. His cheeks. His mouth. His smile. His laugh. His perfect teeth.
This is for the moment you realize you’ve stopped screaming
Have you ever found yourself in the state when you're asleep but still aware of your surroundings? It's kind of like limbo between two worlds, not fully involved in either of them. But what if you were constantly in that state?
I crossed the street in search of my campus' Panda Express and a car rightfully yeilded. As I passed, the car drove closer and slowed and a young man, though older than myself, poked his head from the back window.
With an abundance of sighs 
Sometimes, things hit a little too close to home too close for comfort other times, things hit home with a resounding boom, you'll hear everything come crashing around you
The feeling of failure covered her head.
maybe if i dont say i am, i wont be. maybe if i pretend to be happy, i will be. maybe if i keep building these walls, i'll be protected. maybe if i stopped taking them pills, i'll be fine.
The world was like a
She was unbreakable Nothing fazed her She was alway smiling And everyone knew her name   That quirky tilt of her head Always arguing with herself And that black sweatshirt whe always wore
Take off the filters and remove the blindfold, Enter this world as you are, Not as you are told- That you should be. Because that is not you, It is not her, it is not him, it is not me.  
feelings smash collide and integrate mixing colors like the finger paints my mother made me as a child   one minute i am functioning one minute i am overwhelmed and the next i am gone  
The moon is a symbolDespite the darkness, somewhere out there is our source of light
I have attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder - inattentive subtype a.k.a. ADD which means my mind works differently from most
someone, anyonenononononowhy won't it end?didn't you promise one day it would stop?what am I?still alive-why can't I finally sleep?
A year ago, this room would have been empty. He would have been confined to his room Confined to his own thoughts obscuring the emptiness. Maybe more than a year had passed.   
A toy needs love too.... You were happy because I was something new and fun to play with, At first, it seemed lime everything I did amazed and befuddled you, Where did those times go?
I'm easy
When a house is dirty, we clean it. We sweep away the dust and scrub away the stains until there is nothing left to remind us of the wreckage
I live in the ingnorance of others Hide behind a shattered mask Not one place I could run to No one I could ask   I put on the perfect stance I say I am made of steel
Authentic isn't something I would necessarily describe myself as.
Oh sweet, sweet depression. How are you doing my dear? You're pulling me down so far, Down so far I can't hear. Oh sweet, sweet depression. My arms become hungry, As my makeup smears.
Would you want the power to fly or be invisible? I would love to fly all over the world and see the different kinds of people, Why wouldn't you want to be invisible? Because I'm already invisible by just being unequal,
My heart is pounding. I start to sweat. I know nothing out there can hurt me; But in my head it already has.   How can I face all these people? Am I being too needy? Maybe I should say hi.
Anxiety:A seven letter word thatKnocks the wind out of me every timeI am called to attention
I am sorry
See how a man contemplates,
The cloud surrounding my mind is dark
Who am I without any of those filters or fake edits? Well I am me I am someone who is naturally beautiful yet goofy all by my personal line of credit I am someone with flaws just like anyone else
Buckets of rain poured down from the sky, as though the angels wept, mourning what was to come.   I found myself lurking outside at school,shrouded in a black hoodie
You were born.
Whenever the days are bleak and dappled
Take away the phone in your hand and the nonexistant makeup on my face. Take away the blue eyes and red hair that never stays down. Take away the freckles on my face and the scars from a lost battle with acne.
What I show you is, Not who I want to be, But what you want to see. I aim to please, Society. They say to me, "Be a tall, thin, Long haired, white teeth, Light-skinned beauty,
What I show you is, Not who I want to be, But what you want to see. I aim to please, Society. They say to me, "Be a tall, thin, Long haired, white teeth, Light-skinned beauty,
My struggle with anxiety is not as cute as my curled hair or my new outfit.  It certainly won't get as much love on Instagram, and the notes on Tumblr will remain at zero.
Pills two of them to be exact. They’re the same, but together they’re a stronger dose. Together they calm down a savage mind like mine. Helping to realign the dominos of thought in my head.
My life's a Friday nightBut it feels like a Sunday morningLike wasted potential and wasted timeAnd wasted youth and wasted rhymeAll waste, all the timeAnd there are days and weeks when you're so blue
“I’m so proud you’re my sister,”  “because you’re so beautiful!” His compliment attacked my stomach,
Do you know how it feelsWith ghosts scratching at your brain?Because I feel that way,So peculiar, so insaneTrying to prove a pointThat I can’t even verbalizeTrying to fill a hole
Without the filters who am I? Without the filters will I die?   Millions persuaded to become something they're not, only to find that out that what's inside....has changed a lot.  
How can you miss someone who was never physically there Never felt their touched or the texture of their hair Never held their hand or kissed their lips Yet they seem to be the only person you miss
My voice Is something which my ears fail to define When it kisses the air, it splinters Into exactly 2 billion and 3 question marks Hooking round my pores and Peppering my flesh with pock-marks of stray
Walking down the street, life moves slowly As I run into people and fall onto the rough concrete. Bitter voices and yelling catch my attention, But the powerful wind propels me into dangerous roads.  
I smile because I hidePretending to be optimistic and brightMy hands are shakingMy face is numbMy body feels like i'm floatingI see a crowd, I prepareA pain strikes in my chest
Without a filter Without the camera Through the eyes of me I am a plaque of black.   Without a filter Without the camera Through the eyes of others I am an organic Hispanic.  
Days are tough I put on a happy face Mask the pain   No one knows The real you beside few I feel lost   Tears fall down People always ask, "why be sad?" "Just be happy"
i close my eyes and see every detail of them down to their toes and nose I notice their perfect skin and start to wonder where they've been
I've been sitting here all night, watching what i shouldn't Snatching up pics I normally wouldn't
I wear my scars like a badge of honor.
Who do I become 
You are your own worst enemy You act like your in ecstasy But you’re not What I’m trying to say Is you’ve come so far You carry many scars You made them on your own though
Physically, I'm distressed, but I impress by dressing my best. Emotionally, I'm a wreck, gotta stay in check to earn respect. Mentally, I'm cascaded by the replays of the days that have faded.
In the beginning I was always scared. Never able to say what  I thought or felt. It was nothing less than torture. Forever crippled by the fear of being unnaccepted. Always tiptoeing trough life like perpetually crossing a lake of thin ice.
My heart is racing. 
mommy, you're broken. i hear you at night your bottles are clinking  it fills me with fright.   mommy, were broken, this family i think the yelling seems constant we continue to sink
Instability Things are shaking while I’m not on any ground.I don’t bother shoutingbecause no one wants to hear a sound.Time hasn’t been real while it swirls in my eyes.
I remember the first day
 
I am not crazy. I’ve spent countless hours convincing myself of this. My wrists are scarred, my knuckles bruised, my pillowcase tear-stained. But I am not crazy.
The inside of my mind, the design is so complicated. So intricate, and it seems that thoughts can be so crowding, and fear does this rerouting
so midless and numb; i remember the feeling of blades on my skin
When I was five I wanted to be a princess.
Depression. One simple, little word. Or so many believe.   For others, it is not a word. It is a way of life.   A way of struggle. Bringing oneself to their feet.
Medicine A simple placation Filling my blood  with its own ideas
26 March 2014   Though my words have been scattered and my lips been tainted, take her heart and lift it. Take her mind and relieve it. Take away her pain, not her life.
Eyes all on me
Where do I start? Why does depression happen? What reason do people have to be depressed? They see figures in the distance,  and try to reach out. It takes hold of their hand, 
even the stongest people can break with all the things on their plate what doesnt kill you makes you stronger  so they say, leaving scars that linger  life gives us things that we can handle 
60
i hate my scars. they are not lovely, they are not bravery.  they dictate my life. they tell me what i can wear, where to go who i can trust, who i can love...
Like a drug store cassette I was blank, mummified
My mother's crying My father's gone My brother's screaming I am singing,  I think I'll take a walk   My friends aren't listening My teachers don't care The walls are closing in
Who is that lonely girl Sitting on the corner of the street Who is that lonely girl Not saying a word while she eats Who is that lonely girl Wearing the outdated shoes Who is that lonely girl
There goes my throat As it begins to close Tightening Strangling A noose that won’t Stop hanging   Shaking fingers and Sweaty palms I can’t go on Because my legs feel
and you used to come here with me- but i guess that segment of our relationship has  come to a close and i don't know if i can wash the taste of you out of my mouth forget the scratch 
I see the light  I’m crawling out
It's the same old thing again. A teenage girl with "nothing to complain about", Complaining about the things no one sees.   They see a roof on my head, shoes on my feet, Food on my table, clothes on my back,
A voice that leaves only a soft whisper in the clearing a piece of sand drowning below the waves
So you found out Well, how do you feel? Me? I feel vulnerable Anxious Confused Judged Hurt Angry Destroyed This was a side of me that you weren't ready for
t's 6:00a.m on the morning, For a day that's prolonged, aggravating and boring, You're tired, and exhausted, These are the years of our lives that are the most awkward and stressful,
I never wanted you to fix mesew my ripped seamsbandage my woundsglue my chips and cracksduct-tape my limbsscare away my monstersfight my depressioncalm my anxiety
So I've never been one for these poems and things Writitng has never been a strong suit of mine But I'm sick of holding back Being the big kid, the smart kid, the one my parents never worried about
A tortured soul is locked with no key, The end of the tunnel looks dark and bleak. Merely sitting without movement or light,
Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, who is she Is that me? I wish it wouldn't be That hand, that hair, that voice, that name That - that what happened I was caught In the static electricity of my mind
I sit in silence  I hold my breath I hold on tight But there's nothing left
I panic between doorways  I count the breaks in stairways  to rules I always adhere  and I do this out of fear fear that I'll lose my sight  that it will punish someone dear 
Perfection is a malady, it only serves to maim The wrinkled edges of my insanity, only myself and the world to blame. 'What a shame' was my worst fear, Lurking behind the swallowed tears
I walk quickly head down shoulders stiff “I’m sorry” on my lips Everyone’s watching me   My lips are bitten hands shaking leg bouncing
Sometimes I don't think I'm getting to you anymore, usually when I can see the words going in one ear and out the other and back down to the floor where they probably belonged to begin with.
Fat        Ugly
It’s like I have two minds Not a double sided sword But two minds From negative to positive High to low Right from left   It’s a strange distinction I cannot explain
We use filter to cover up our blemishes, Both physical and mental. Who wants to see a girl without make up on, Bearing her acne scars and enlarged pores? Who wants to read an emotional caption,
You say I’m okay On the outside So I must be alright To keep going But have you once thought About how I feel inside
One alone cannot lead. One alone cannot love. One alone cannot learn. One alone cannot learn. One alone cannot laugh. One alone cannot live the life intended.
Raw
Staring in the mirror as I wipe away the day.Cold, alone, and vulnerable.Looking at the real me as the mask fades away.Scared, beaten, and longing.Beauty is in the eye of the beholder they say.
Ask me who I am in the raw, I'll tell you. I wake up like everyone else. I get dressed, brush my teeth. Most people assume that is me. 5'2", brown hair, brown eyes.
Fear weighs down heavy on your back The creaking of the door or the flickering of the lights Your heart beats faster and your muscles tense up tight Afraid to face the next attack
There's a perfect image I've always had of myself, one not even a filter could create One that's so perfect just me being me  Letting the world seeing me in my natural state It's always seemed to get me further.
Your mind is deteriorating right in front of my eyes But the flesh still clings to your cheekbones
i  am fooled by people,  society it tells me i can do great things without a  warning that what you see on T.V  is not reality but fantasy   I AM ..... C.S
Glasses Sharp nose Dark, patterened clothes Sparkling baby blue eyes Bright smile with a crooked jaw Big loving heart with an old amourous soul Behind the filter, behind the hashtag
A big ball of tangled yarn That can't seem to sort itself out.
Life hurts Just to live in it makes me wonder why? Why do we enjoy the good moments so much When the bad ones are so bad   And likewise; Why do we feel the bad moments are the end?
Everyday I walk through the halls of red and white, watching unfamiliar faces of high school students pass by like a rock skipping across the water.
Snapshots of a life well-spent Moments of Greatness frozen into eternal silence Laughter, scowls, and faux-pensive looks On half hidden faces Topped off with the stolen words from
Born in Nebraska, raised in Omaha, just a small town girl with wild dreams
For me, anxiety is the feeling that I am always being watched. Anxiety is staying awake because you're afraid of what can happen tomorrow.
Strikingly blue, electric, hard wired into ladder patterns- genetics  the eyes of the mother, her father, his father falling backward through all of time    Bright and reflecting and ever connecting 
Just when you think You've got it under control
Its there It always has been It has been there for years It has infected many It lives there Do you see it Do you hear it It's in me It speaks my name It hunts for the weakness
You may think you u
When I was little  I was too friendly; always talking to strangers And my parents were afraid that a dark man Would take me away and I would never be seen from again Only what they didn't know -- 
Inside her lilac blanket she weeps in fear of the future to come Inside her mind the gears never stop, forever in thought of her imperfections Inside her heart in beats so loudly, from the sickening caffeine addiction
My mind is a candle  Inside a whirlwind of thought I have bright insights But there clouded in darkness I try to be happy But can't see the light    I try to keep my candle lit