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The water crashes over my body and my ears are invigorated with its sensation: It's cold in here. I close my eyes. I see colors and hues Dripping. Down. Down. Down.
I brag about my power I rebel for no reason I create dramas I show my false self
I used to detest life. Sometimes I still do. It was deep yet shallow and still I could not find my place Above the waves
It's the little things that plague my mind. Like the way your eyes crinkle when you smile or the way you laugh after a bad joke. The way your hand fit perfectly in mine
Butterflies in my headSay I'm okay I wanna talk to youAll day Running from my fearsThey say don't play And I won't playIf you don't play
“There is no such thing as safe sex, since no one can create a condom for the soul.” -Jayce O’Neal To think that we are here, Connected pelvis to pelvis By tubes and fluids
I can walk into an all-you-can-eat buffet, and my brain will light up like a gambling addict's. Numbers running in my brain, neon signs floating above plates counting fat and carbs and sugar,
I got a messed up brain, messed up thoughts, people say I'm fine, but I guess not. My vision gradually gets darker, and my heart feels like it just got shot. I can feel my skin fall apart,
I wish I could live my whole life Pressed against your lips Drinking in your smell Grabbing at your hips
a question most have but none ask: why suicide? life has so much more to offer, they say. it gets better, they promise.
All I hear is the blood pumping into my veinAn open cut, slit by my brainI don't scream outI deserve painI prefer myself this 5 years agoI was introduced To a monster in my own skin
I met a boy a late summer dayHe looked at me and refused to satWhat made him so unhappyHe's a blue boyCall him defensiveBut blue boy don't run from meThe help I give is for free
Thoughts of youSeeping throughI see anotherThey look like youI start to cryBut got to hideThe pain insideFrom losing youI beat myself Black and blueOver what I did and said
You're my sadness, Also my happiness You're my lover, Also my enemy You're my laughters,
Becoming an adult is a funny thing. It sort of sneaks up on you From the depths of existence Even though you’re aware of your childhood expiration date
Me? growing up? Absolutely not, the idea was something I never thought would happen. I enjoyed riding in the backseat of the car, closing my eyes and waking up at the grocery store or the car store.
Three years old I dreamed of being a veterinarian. Six years old I made my first friend. Nine years old I learned how to multiply and divide. Twelve years old I realized how cruel others can be.
the night sky pours over us like a cup of coffee no cream we lay on the grass without a care in the world in this moment all we have is each other and i've never been so fulfilled
The hard metal risers held the students, Creaking under the large weight. Onto the next song in the performance, The conductor hastily turns on the mic. He, in his strapping tuxedo, faces the audience,
How to live I mean survive in school. 1. Show up. Show up to the first day of the rest of your life. Show up to your future.
I'm happy because I live in falsity, i'm still happy because I reject reality, Stuck in my childhood, My utopia Forgot the fact that, I had grown up Someone, wake me up
Heartbreak, It’s inevitable No way around it But the joy of the happiness Before the pain Is almost worth it
Life is long Like a race We have to run We need to beat other runner But what’s the purpose? You don’t have to run When you don’t know your destination It’s okay to stop
When you're told the cock in your mouth makes youDirtyLewdDisgustingLike a serpent slithering into your bodyBurning your throatAnd your soul You would feel ashamed, right?
S*x is human nature Confiding in s*xWhether byP*rnO*rgiesOr just having it It's all human nature EveryoneExcept for a small but significant sumWants s*x
10 My first normal day in years If you could call it that I’ve been in and out of hospitals With test and treatments and monitors and ivs
In the quiet of my closet I speak And the words sound more like a cry for help A plea for escape Or at least for someone to turn the lights on
So tell me, are you as happy and free as you pretend to be? Bright colors, sultry poses, and your boney, emaciated arms around your “besties”. Skin stained by self tanner faces the camera,
i remember falling in love with you as if it happened yesterday we had only met but you made me feel things i swore i could never feel again
Hey there Adolescent! Is life not making Sense? Any sense? Are you trying, And still need consent? Have you been Devoted, Then Demoted? Yet tried your Best?
they say that nothing gold can stay but what about the other metals seen as precious in the eyes of man you are my silver lining
my mind is spinning with the same old thoughts making another circle around the beaten track of questions without answers and fears without hope to quiet them
the man with eyes eons older than his smile told me that we are different people all throughout our lives but we must never forget who we used to be
i want you in or out there will be no grey area this time it is black or white heartbreak or heart light
i am drowning in words i wish i could say but, i cannot it is why i wrote them instead of spoke them
you demand that i push myself all the while pushing me closer and closer to the lip of the ledge and i can’t help but think of how just last week
why are you punishing me for not trying for finally giving up the charade when i was the only one playing the game anymore you left me
I try to calm down. This is fine. I'm fine. "Don't be sad," she says. I'm not sad. I'm scared. Frustrated. Confused. She doesn't listen.
I'm fine. I do it all: clubs, sports, school. Everyone loves me. I am not afraid. I no longer panic at archery meetings. Don't feel fear when I see your name.
You were my best friend Or at least I'd like to pretend But i guess every story has two sides I remember that morning you were more than just my friend,
Rooms capture nothing Without wallpaper Coverless books Dangle bare Eroding the roots Of cotton-bound truths
Are my braces that obvious? The colors have to match my outfit One day, he'll notice me. Should I ask him to the dance? Boys are the worst! Did you hear about Anne?
Don’t tell me pretty lies, With that look on your face, Because although you are beautiful The ugly never fades. There’s beauty in your eyes, And there’s strength that’s in your arms,
Dear Demon, You know who you are. You know what you have done to me. Yet it does not bother you any, but as for me
Dear Almost lover, I'm writing this because I never got closure. It's been awhile since we've talked and I think it's time for a disclosure and I don't want to be mocked.
Dear Mom, Or Pam, I suppose. Enabling the lowest of my lows. Do you remember me? Is it the memory or the idea? Cheap wonder bread and ham, cool kids who couldn't care less.
dear blue jeans, let me explain. i know this time has been difficult for you— you, punctual and monotoned, ten years with a dusty crooked-smile contractor who wore you like the period
Acting okay. Asking for forgiveness, Always pretending. Broken heart. Bridges burnt. Baby, wait please. Crying for hours. Cutting off everyone. Can you ever forgive me?
I stand outside. Outside of the boundaries you set for me. Why am I outcasted from this "perfect world". Yet, if this world is so perfect, why is anyone outcasted? I'm tired. Tired of feeling alone.
Dear Jackson, Picture this, soft. thin arms dainty wrists baby pink a soft pink, the kind that glows on the skin, and grows in the cheeks.
I waited for you to fall into my arms. Instead, I just felt you slipping away. -expectations
dear heart of mine, why can’t you decide who you do and do not like why did it take you so long to realize
Dear High School… Dear Institutionalized Hell Hole… Dear Teenage Years…
Blood rushed down his arm Just like tears rush down her face There's fire in his eyes And an overdose in her veins Lord help these children, they've dot so much more to live for
2mac, When you can no longer breathe, When you have no one else to rely on, When you lose sight of the surface, Float.
i don't know how to tell you this in person, so i'll do it in a poem. had a crush on you all this time, while i've been telling everyone else, "no, i don't know him." i'm sure it's teen love but this time it feels so real;
Jesus, please guide my way Show me how to live Godly day by day Please show me how to love my friends and family And for all my wrongs, please forgive me You're my Friend, so I’m glad to hold Your Hand
vested in veins spreading like spider webs of blues of black they say rumors spread like wildfire which is only true because they engulf homes and hearts
Mom: You used to always say to me you are gold. I never understood what you meant but being older now, I realized you would say these words when I forgot how precious I was
he touched my neck and his fingers ran all the way down to my collar bone but with such grace and love that it didn't feel wrong it felt cleansing as if I had never
Contemplation isn't social refraining it's just overthinking things a bit.
Hi I'm 18 years old Or should I say 18 years young But old enough for to know my rights and wrongs. It doesnt mean I always do what's right.
She confesses her love And covers her mouth Just to make sure The snake won't slip out She embraces the change And tugs on her sleeves
I was in love with you Closed my eyes and dipped myself backwards knowing the enemy laid beside meI was in love with you And the way you talked about blue skies and how gravity tears us apart. I was in love with youWith the way you leaned over an
They told me that I would not pass, He told me that I would never understand, She told me that nobody would ever like me, But look who's wrong; Today I passed my final exam,
Dear Lord, I'm higly stressed, Please help me on this test Amma do my best and let you handle the rest Dear Lord, please help me on this test Because if I don't pass, I'll be a mess Lord, feel my chest
Another college party, same faces, same games, Another night she wouldn’t remember, not what she said, not any names, Her red hair was shiny, and her lips were glossed,
You’re different from anyone I have ever met, After all that I have done and the mistakes I’ve made, you’ve never left, You’re beyond special to me, partly because we were best friends first,
Love is a very powerful word, But today we toss it around carelessly because the lines are blurred, Don’t tell me you love me when you don’t even know my middle name,
We Got locked that dayIn top floor of our coachingDispersed late after 8On that busy Thursday evening
I liked it when you told me I would be your princess on a pedestal I liked it when you told me life with you was never dull I liked it when you told me I was perfect I liked that I was the one you picked
The greatest thing in life can bring the most happiness; yet the most fear, and that's love, Love is an enjoyable feeling of life, and is what makes us closer; but sometimes love can shatter your heart and shaken your soul,
This is the time of our lives that everything changes inside. Left is now right, day becomes night I feel it inside that I am not alright. Save me now, save me now take me down the right path, of endless glory that I will never give back.
The horizon doesn't seem too far, The sun's heat gives me warmth, Though I am so close, It doesn't burn Slowly, all my fears are melting away.
i gave you a chance and you took it you made me feel beautiful and wanted for the first time in a long time i craved your attention i caught myself in a trap i had been in before
Isn’t it Ironic? It’s sometimes overwhelming having so much to say, Thoughts filling your head all moments of the day,
Even silence is ecstasyYour heartbeat in my ear, a steady drum.Monumental or minimal calamitiesUntil my breathing levels,your fingers comb my hair. Your hand in mine, a rushed societal defianceBut you are unabashedly in love.Fierce pride in your
I lay in the bed My eyes swollen with tears Completely restless And drowning in fears.
I look myself in the mirror and I see a "tall lonely depressed girl." Well, not really. My friends see that. They don't see all of the struggles that I go through.
I am a host for a parasite, A parasite whose disease has sucked on my mind, Leaching my hope, Leaching my sanity, Raping me of all personality.
With every passing season,With the changing of the tides,When the sun rises and sets,When the old has gone,and the new has comeand our present now long past.
We were kids turning pages, in a couple year long love story and it ended pages ripped, i'm sorry. My starry eyes didn't last, dear diary, I kept them waiting, then left them
Daddy, I don't know why you couldn't just choose me. Why'd you'd rather get high and hurt mommy and on top of that lose me. I don't know why it's so important when I'm dying to see you, in mommies belly, I just started moving.
You caught your breath. Your eyes shifted downwards and upwards and all around the room, as if you were looking for the truth. You pushed your back against the cold wall. You hesitated.
Why does he give me false hope? Why did he say “I Love You?” Why does he make me feel not good enough? Can’t he see I’m fragile?
I simply visualize a place in'harmony...on my way home from work. But these torns have grown over my'path, constantly... stepping into climax!
This Little girl is, terrified of the outside world, today she is going to her first day of high school. She wonders if people will judge her? Everyday’s the same for her she fights to find her way in the outside world.
Three hundred sixty-four days plus one I was a different version of myself 17. 100 The old system consists of tired, old buttons
To be, to be a tree There are many trees, trees are tall and trees are small There are many trees that are smaller than others miles and miles they grow Dose any one ask, how do you get there?
Lose all hope, Take it in, Just forget everything. Music in one ear, The world in the other, Just start typing.
A year ago, my mom was diagnosed with cancer for the second time.A year ago, I found out I was moving from North Carolina to Illinois.
Still and silent I float in the deep blue, the ocean is my master and I its slave. Heels, check. Face, check. Glasses – better leave those here – check.
Green, lush grass, humble in its tone Bleeding skies, sunrise, the sun wakes up and moans Brown trees, green leaves, warm breeze, it's here The perfect day, to wash away, all stress, anxiety, and fear
careless yet care ridden your lips dripping with honey so sweet you’re rotten to the core me, innocent innocence
Highschool A word that has the power To make its victims cower And to leave others smiling with their fond memories. A new beginning I saw it as a chance To make them take a second glance
This year, love has so many more meanings than the last. Love takes up more of the space in which emptiness lived until now. This year, love can be definable, or not.
I am hiding under a window curtain, watching the 5 roll towards ocean beach and pretending that I am not a person and that my friends are friends without knowing me. Remember: Doctor’s appointment on Thursday.
It would be outrageous for me to say anything has shaped me this year more intensely Than my own grand failures caused by my need for outside approval. A year ago, I wouldn’t have been willing to admit that.
January – Just establishing new year resolutions, just dreaming about who I want to be, just looking back over the past year The Beginning.
Who am I now, Who was I then. I was as quiet as a cats 'meow', But now I just use my pen. I know more about me, I think you do too. When I write I can see Truly you are untrue
Your name tastes sour now when I say it, And yes I fell in love, I have no shame to admit, I loved the things you said to me, you always called me amazing,
when we met as fledgeling adolescents on that solstice day, the lake was blue-- no, grey-- no, the color of bitter
Don't you think my bones are quieter when I wake up next to you Traced in my childhood physique and rooted in morningness They say morning people rule the world
Opening with a false A lie for truths, Isn’t that us all? Im cold and sweaty but this time I’m ready Lying here amongst my thoughts
Deep, Deep, Blue. Blue hands. Blue lips. Blue lungs. Blue hearts. Sinking down. To the vast blue ocean Of my stomach. Strangled.
A windowsill Teetering on tea boiling in a pot And musicians hissing about politics Legal highs and all time lows Screaming foxes and gunshots
6 torn cardboard walls hold distant memories- hah, more like serrated puzzle pieces with razor sharp edges, stabbing one another yet fitting perfectly - yet willingly accepting the nerve wrenching pain and sudden discoloration of their o
It all started when I lost myself. I wallowed in misery. I had no self esteem. I felt unloved, unworthy, and worst of all dead inside. Like I was simply existing, without living at all.
If I hit a low again In the witching hour from the dark room where I lay awake all alone, and I’ve gone so numb I can’t feel the aching cold
Closed. There's a dream in my head and it's making me Ill. Swimming, These aren't my thoughts. I wouldn't couldn't never would do that. But I did. Dreams
If we had world enough, and time, we'd ditch this town and get lost in this beautifully dangerous realm. The beaches and woods do not overwhelm, and enters the chance to explore.
She was my friend. Blonde, green-eyed, Fair skinned and delicate. She was perfect in more ways then one. And I fell for her. She was a flower, Beautiful and dainty.
“Loved but always alone”
A snagged branch I was when you brush your shoulder against me. Chills and goosebumps, you rewind to when I caught you by the edge of your torn up plain white tee. I wrestle with the wind, for the breeze seems not to hit me.
She took it away Stole my life source Confiscated my heart And all that connects me inside The wires and the lines That helped me reach a place A place where I could be happy
We are all bizarre, some of us are just better at hiding it. We pull up our hoods and hide away. You don't even look our way. While you see headphones, we hear the music.
The mirror think it knows me when it don't The mirrior might think it seeks every part of me but no. The mirror doesn't see how my reactions of others sayings hurt me They see with mostly what's out but not what's within.
I didn’t want to wake up. I wanted to play dead Being blind and not even knowing it Daily activities going through life in a daze Running, always chasing trying not to be caught
Hand me a pair of scissors I’ll cut the steel ropes That led straight to your heart At least I’ll try If only I could get closer to you That end of the rope is the thinnest
Day 1 Trigger-happy gigglersWe laugh on instinctErupting roars around the roomlike criss-cross apple sauce trip minesToo short for ridesCondemning tattle-talesSelectively breeding kickball sides
To you, mom, I think depression is not understanding. It’s not hearing me when I cry silently at dinner, but instead, reprimanding. Me? It’s not my fault, see, I hold back my breaths, I keep it in
Anything a heart desires Locked away Listening to you without return I can't imagine a world without it
I knew I had it bad, when they asked what I would need if I was stranded on a island, and the first thing I thought of, was your blue eyes instead of water. Isn't that sad?
Red they say stands for love or admiration Oh darling, my heart must have been bright red the day I saw you Yellow they say stands for optimism and cheer
"What do you want to be when you grow up?" A question frequently asked by many. Growing up I've had everything a young child could ask for. I had a stable home, a mom, a dad, and endless amounts of toys.
Why do I always stare at this device? It gives me reassurance and makes me feel I'm making something with my life I listen to music that inspires me Instagram and Snapchat brings smiles of glee
At sixteen I knew and at seventeen I fell. You and I will howl to the moon for every night to come. Pups will weave
airplane basslines grind cityscapesand we're swaddled in prisms of electrical amber; your love's so easy to swallow and it feels like we're glowing,it kills me so slowly- gentle,temperamental
Every time you smile Every time you laugh I can't stop smiling Every time you move Every time you dance I can't stop watching Every time you talk Every time you sing
Ocean breeze, you seem too good to see, always there by a blink of a hair, passing your way through me. You give me life, a sort I can't see, it all seems too good to believe,
Smooth skin. Like butterscotch, tan and creamy. I don’t believe that I have ever seen a single blemish on your body. You’re white, but that odd sort of white that you don’t see too much of.
It’s moments like these that I am aware of reality I am mortal, expendable. My life is so fucking short it’s the blink of an eye and as I lay awake at 4am as I do tonight I wonder
i think of you and the butterflies, swarming my stomach, swim up and up to my throat in a tornado.my gums are growing flowers, making meadows of messages i can only wish to speak to you.
People say the relationship is toxic. That he'll kill me. (It surely well might be the case) But it's not your business I tell myself People say the relationship ain't healthy.
I tried to fall in love, and love fell away from me. Music tastes and edited imagery can’t disguise the doubts of the reality that you are not good or true for who I am trying to be,
She wears the standard uniform:
You may think this isn’t needed And it probably isn’t But I’ll say it anyway I’m sorry
Pull heartstrings while you pull Hamstrings, Make me feel your presence in it's entirety. Lungs aren't full enough for you to linger this long, but I don't care if you don't, and
I am not the kind of person who just lets go Relaxes, lets loose, and just goes with the flow I cling tight to the future!With dreams ill get better But with every step I just get wetter and wetter As I'm drowning in homework And drowning in seas
There is beauty in everything in life, in death, in whatever comes before but beauty mostly resides inside of a heart
When I'm alone, I frown. When I'm around you, I smile. When I'm alone, I cry. When I'm around you, I laugh. When I'm alone, I want to die. When I'm around you, life is worth living.
I am not I think I am... I think I am small. I think I am inadequate. I think I am less than. I am more than what U think I am... U think I am a burden
I want you to think of me in black and white
Remember that time i climbed the fence?
I am a child Who needs toys, to know she’s loved, coloring books Who loves her mom and dad, school, baby dolls Who sees stickers, scraped knees, birthday parties Who fears spiders, heights, time out
I am loud in the presence of my brother But when it comes to the outside world I am quiet. I am soft. I am too quiet to Be noticed and not enough to be remembered I can remember the moments that took your breath
It is the kiss of life Your breath against mine This life is like a rollercoaster Neither can bring back time Your past haunts my everlasting wakes Please baby come back to me Come to life
Mariah Sure, that's me. That is my name. The first thing people see. But when they let themselves in, And pass through the door, When they find themselves inside, But not finding what for,
He had haunting light brown eyes,
Come hither, see me whither, in the wind like dust blowing away. I falter and fallow, as my tears run down my face so sallow, I'm alone and afraid, what should I do?
The kids, they’re all whiteThey say they can write
Sometimes I wonder How could I make a kite fly Even when weighed down by a boulder How could I make these diseased things happy They want money and my everlasting plea to be their servant
One day, I'll hold your skin in the palms of my hands and breathe in time with your heartbeat. One day, I can bask in the feeling of infinity in your arms and press promises against
You are the reason. The reason I am me. The reason I will be, the only one you will ever see that is as happy as can be. s.f. 7.19.15
My hope is powered by the greatness of your heart. My smile is fueled by the sweetness of your words. My mind is functioning with the help of your rambunctious emotions.
Do we ever feel alone? yes. Do we ever feel forgotten? yes. Have we ever gotten help? no. Have your friends ever offered help? yes, but I think I don't need it.
“Go with your gut feeling." I don’t feel anything Except the heat from my brain Coupled with the pain of thinking of him Cause I can’t, Won’t let myself stop thinking of you
I don't believe in them Especially when people play the roles I'm sleep, thinking I’m dreaming them I met a boy and asked him what he thought of our relationship
I want to get better help me get better. living like this, is not called living. No matter where I go it's always pouring the same and im tired of etting cold all drenched from the rain.
and you told me you wouldn't leaveand that you would neve
I’m mental. I’m losing what’s left of my rapidly deteriorating mind. Its hard to understand a basket case. No one really does.
All these crazy things,
She’s a pretty little angel,
Bright, big smile.
Unfortunate. She drowns in the depths of depression. Necessity. She needs to get away. Escape. She vies for freedom. Personality. What's that?
I've been searching for hours, to find a reason why. It's 2 A.M. and I'm running circles in my mind. I whisper prayers that go unheard. I wonder when my thoughts will turn. To happy days
She needs a sensitive soul. A gentle touch. A loving heart.
All she ever knew
Lord, save me from my sins
They say if I want to fit in Than I should Walk like them Talk like them Dress Like them They say that beauty
I was talking to my little sister yesterday
To trust is to give yourself wholly to someone
Behind the smooth talker and the wise cracker
The unexpected comfort I have found sleeping on this furniture my sister diagonal from me. my mother parallel to me. my pride inexistestent. I do not complain because it is either this couch or
Above my right eyebrow there's a scar From the day after Four Years of ignorance or innocence I discovered the death of my favorite dog. And all around my arms
If we got caught we’d be so dead. Everyone thinks we’re asleep in bed. Our music is so loud, We are the bad crowd.
No one saw it coming, I mean out of all people I was the least to expect anything. The way she still looked at you, and the way she stared at me, and had the words, "I love you" jump off of her tongue.
Something evil with me walks
Phones everywhere Babies, kids, teens, adults, elderly Everywhere I look there's a phone Students, teachers, drivers, policemen, firemen School, funerals, weddings, births, accidents, parties, fights
Broken window shows each dream Shattered lie you can't redeem A wish upon a twisted heart Diamond lie that ripped apart Shards of truth a pane of glass
I am not oh-so-beautiful I am no princess in truth I haven't a drop of royal blood Nor silver save my filled tooth Perhaps one may overlook me Give me not a chance
Reliance on your reflection in the mirror
crazy that a 14 year old is too young to make choices but old enough to take responsibility crazy that a 15 year old is not able to control his tongue
"Look in the mirror and tell yourself you're beautiful' . I'd repeat it. Look in the mirror and say " I love you". I'd try , but nothing would come out . I'd go mute. I spent most of my life trying to hide myself.
I lost my way And finding the path back was anything but easy.
As I go through my day Trying to keep my head up & just be okay.
I'm writing this letter to you,
I burned the American Flag. Literally. I burned the American Flag and I recorded it on video.
From the moment I walk into the door, Up runs a familiar face. Huge chocolate eyes open wide and a mouth open even wider, A small rosy tounge drips with excitement. The only sounds to be heard are
Get Lost "Get lost! You ignorant teens!"
I love you I am sorry, I just lost control
You should have known better
I wanted to be a professional juggler by the time I left high school I wanted to make a name for myself by juggling five things at once Classes Sports Friends Family Sleep Then I dropped sleep
ive got no words to describe this feeling inside but ive got paticence to tell you what's on my mind i have to find all these reasons to get out of bed each day and it seems that one of them
Teen Who are we? We the nameless, shameless Youth of everlasting sameness? So similar yet so unique, Our secrets seemingly forever, And promises we strive to keep.
Foreward: Below is an account of my actions and feelings upon learning the loss of a friend.
I’m inundated, like being stuck under a waterfall Relentless flow of application information Why can’t this deluge be money? Applications for colleges, scholarships, volunteering, jobs
The man who you are suppose to be able to trust and love turns out to be the one you have to look out for the most. The man who was suppose to love you and never hurt you turns out to be the one who can't be trusted.
I Bet you don't know how some of us youths are trying Consistently attempting to filter and rebirth the "already drugged" mind whose views are confined to material wealth, sex and guns
You smother me Individuality is taboo in this household Because apparently I am still but a child But what does the evidence of those growths say? What does the mind and soul speak of?
As I sit down once again, in front of the old computer with the whirring fan My fingers begin to hit the black keys, each one a small click That make an musical orchestra of words
A troubled teen, she wonders the streets, a paint can in her hand. She wants someone to notice her. She wants someone to value her, so she will receive her value from afar.
Every child reaches the age When their thoughts need no consent. When hearts twist and writhe, Simple encounters evoke torment. Days pass as moments, Slipping through the tightest of grips;
There she is on the other side of the road.
When I meet people, People I end up falling for, I assume they'll be perfect for me on every level. I assume we'll dream the same dreams, And they'll understand all the silly things I'm scared of,
I was a mistake They didn't mean for me to be here They had tried to use protection They had tried to take care But Daddy screwed up and it was broken And Mommy's test was pink
My Child If I shall have a daughter, I’ll tie a rainbow in her hair.
When you look at me Jay My world stops completely You make me feel special Especially when you tell me that you need me
I hate you
We didn't think it would happen to us, We thought we had it all under control, yet we knew it was a possibilty... Oh! how dumb and naive were we, We didn't think, We were stuck in that moment and
I am tired of this façade Men shouldn't have to treat the opposite sex with disrespect in order to retain their masculinity. Girls shouldn't feel the need to starve themselves for beauty and serenity.
For every little babe that looks at a babe of its own, A footnote is attached to both of their minds. Whether or not the younger babe is wanted by the older will forever imprint a little phrase on that footnote;
Stress The day to day hustle . School , friends , work . I feel like my worlds about to end , so much to do I can barely breath. As I sit I realize the ambition I have to make it in this never ending world.
No one ever said life was gonna be easy You learnt that way too early in life You carry yourself in a way that says "I'm fine" when in reality we both know you're lying to yourself
Life's a party, One you can never leave. So live it up, break it down, and never regret anything you do. Because in the end, it makes you who you are.
He may not know it but, she fell hard for him. Harder than a naked body belly flopping against a freezing pool of water. Like glass breaking against her skin. She may not reliaze it, but he's drunk with love.
This week I feel funny. I feel out of place, underdressed and alone. I feel a little bit like sticky hands that you can't wash. I can't shake this feeling but for some reason I don't mind.
Some say that bitterness is what broke you, and ripped your seams apart. But whatever it was that consumed you, longing is what lies inside your heart. A longing to be better, is the single thread that binds you.
I can be inexplicably angry and I believe this is not the way to heal open wounds.
I get HIGH SNIFF, SNIFF Into another place
T’was not at once mine own love with her fell
Running down my face Tears, I see
Rosy were of her lavish cheeks, What a shadow the flourescent moonlight leaves Complimented by the icy crystals traveling down in trails towards her heart It's a wonder how such chaotic strife can be such beautiful art
Facing the dedication plaque of The East Coast Memorial in Battery Park,sat a navy spiral bound with a worn post-it note upon the cover.Head slightly tilted, I scoff at the carelessness of some kids.
But what of me, standing in the corner, Hidden in the shadow. Placed there unwilling, Listening to the conversation flow. Never do I ever want to hear another word
I drove past your grave today, I felt you wave to me. Your laughter filled my thoughts, I almost veered off the road... Maybe because I remembered, When we used to be alone,
Those men who watch me when I walk home. They haven’t always watched, but I don’t remember when. Out of their windows in their cars as they pass by. Someone’s always watching me.
You cannot hide the feelings. You cannot crumple them up and toss them in the trash like you do with a love note that failed to love.
I would change life expectancy. Why must we expect life to be either short or long? As we go about our days of our lives We look for more than Just hope. We look for reasons why to continue our days
i'm scared of getting close how could anyone handle someone so deranged it really blows having everything hidden because eventually someone will want to know the truth
i do not like to feel the emotions take over leaving me broken and vulnerable it's hard to deal feeling hopeless feeling alone that's why i've cornere myself off in this fortress
im thinking a thought about how strange it is to see you not waiting for me at my locker
I've based my whole life off of what other people think I can't wear this because he might think this I can't say this because they're going to judge me I'm sick of conforming
He looks at me And sees my love that is asleep. Through the iron cast bars- Of his baby's mansion . He looks at me like I am ripe fruit. And I think that's fine by me.
She creates a new life. Part of her's goes into it. That is quite a price.
She liked control. Because as long as she was in control. She could determine what happens. So she would push people away And soon enough she only had herself.
As the sky turns gray and the leaves fall
You can hide behind makeup But that doesn’t mean you’re a woman Your mind is engulfed With subjects that your mouth shouldn’t speak about You find joy in opening your legs
On the rooftop of a closed shop, He thought hops to her tube top. Nonstop they both spit swap, And the next prop is the countertop. Him on top, Again nonstop, Until the condom pops,
Fear of rejection Been such a long time Since I’ve been home I feel like so long I was a mime
I shall not shed a tear when your heart leaves mine I shall not show the fear inside I shall not miss your touch I shall not miss your warmth near I shall not miss your lips upon mine
You don’t want to invest the timeTime is nothing, you lieEverything was beautifulRoses in the garden,Cloudless skiesBut the raging clouds kept coming from your eyesOn that day,
New Love They're three little words, but not very little to me, tell me your dreams, fears, and who you want to be. People claim to be lucky at the cards and unlucky in love,
Today I needed to speak speak speak
It is easy in the world to live after the world’s opinion
Inside of a teenage girl,Is a big, beating heart,a heart that tears what sheloves and likes apart.
It seems as though Every time our eyes cross skies, Our distance dies, And the tension flies We're back at square one Where I'm looking in your eyes Deciding if they're lies
i dream of happier days:before the cell phone,her now-constant companion.before computers, iPods.before she caredabout how she looks.about fitting in,conforming.back when a night light
Ideas born out of 2amGrown to wrap around my eyesPull them downThey will not shutConstant spike of ideasIn my brain, it hurtsThe throb of thought against boneI am not destined for sleep
Did you come across the weary hunter? Seemingly harmless hungers in silence. But just who is this weary hunter? Unsatisfied, unstoppable, and intangible
A girl loves seven different men in her lifetime.
Her belly grows and grows, but nobody knows. Sweatshirts are too small, the inevitable becomes apparent. Waddles through hallways, up flights of stairs, back aches.
You tear apart your family, You make me want to die, You can't accept the unplanned, You're the main reason I cry; Why do you do these things? I may never know, But I wish I could pour sense into you,
They want me to become something I’m not. I’ve twisted and turned and bent over backwards in an attempt to fit into their box, But I simply cannot. It’s never too late, To pass your class they say.
tears shed through our eyes of innocence all of which we cannot see our passion and demon minds have not yet to perish but grow a stronger flame our thoughts so powerful and true its a beautiful tragedy we live in
Teacher, teacher I'm not sure if you know My mind may be open But my heart remains closed Teacher, teacher Please, just hear me out There are so many things
There is no love for her
Games are played,
Ambulance sirens.Someone else dying.Girls getting knocked up.The fathers leave or get locked up.Few fake cops.Walking out dealing with Opps.
Put death to the thought of my own thoughtlessness; succumb to the enthralling promises, but sink into a trembling demise. You are touched and prodded, molded and stretched. You are something that you’re not.
I am a fixer,
All alone by herself not knowing where to turn for help. Trading applying for scholarships to scheduling doctor trips. Asking God to see her through this . Young girl herself not ready to hear someone call her mother.
As she closed her eyes she imagined her life before her Her eyes were bowed down in defeat, in weakness She reminisced on what she had lost, what she had gained
Mine eyes have seen the coming the comming of many things, But as things pass by my eyes they become many goings. My feet know many back allies that have kept me off my trail.
Excuse me Miss Please stop asking me the same questions over and over I know my assignments are late I know some things aren’t turned in Truth is when I get home I don’t want to think about school
Children scribble on the walls,Nonsensical graffitiOn the inside of the womb,Cut up and bleedingInternally.I've fucked up and I'm fucked.This demon called paranoia haunts me before bedtime
Clear skies on the outside besides the whirlwind taking over inside Everyone else sees you as a kind man
He flies, they always catch him. He flies, why did they fail? He flies, now alone. He lands, they lie at his feet as the rain falls. He rises again soaring the skies, the robin of his mother's dreams.
The home of a traveler Is not really a home, But more of a way of life. The home can be furnished nicely With a chipper mood and a broad smile. The furniture is all in place
He's sixteen going on thirty, A boy no longer a boy Craving sexual stimulation But a man Craving intellectual conversation.
That night I left work I was scared I knew something bad was going to happen I took a cab to his house When I got there We went to his room and started drinking
My green eyes Gaze against my nearly translucent skin, Then flicker across buildings Of mirrors and concrete, With blurry lights, As rainwater descends, Before pelting my crimson coat,
Sober Thoughts,You're just wasting my time.Grab the bottle,It was in the back of your mind.In the darkened place,Where I always hide.Drown it out,A waveless tide.
I'm on this path to my pursuit of happiness trying to get back to that place where a smile wasn't rare remembering my days as a child a time of pure carefree bliss death was just a word
Let me be me I am just a girl let me be me one day I wanna rule the world My parents never get me; it seems I am never heard let me be me I always scream and say
What is college Why should you go Is it pointless What does it show Getting a higher education Staying in school Focusing on your career What could you lose Just your time
Home is my burning desire. My soul has been set on fire. Feelings of lost hope. I am on a downward slope. Dreams crushed as no tomorrow, With none left to share or borrow. Aromas of the unknown,
"That's my child!" She's yelling at me as if i don't know how he got into this world. I'm not dumb. I'm just a kid, and your yelling won't make me grow up any faster. I'm actually afraid
Oh. Thick girls? They are better than Big girls. Big girls are like big. Thick Girls are just better Said everyone. Big girl Big girl No loves you they said, lose weight they tell me
Brainwash the children of the nation with songs by Drake omg becky look at her butt you only live once dripping with misogyny stupid sayings strangle our minds into believing
Walls are fallen Words come alive Memories are seen History is broken Future is forgotten Emotions are meaningless
7:30, i hit the button.By 8, i'm out the house. Running late but still get coffee.Nothing's stopping me now.On the the way to class, i saw my friend.It looked like she had cried.
The water gets high, my oxygen is low, I'm barely getting by and I've nowhere left to go. The heart beats, blood races, body heats, surrounded by bruised faces. Hush,
Butterflies In the Night Drift Away Without a Fight Lose Myself Lost in You Wondering why But Such a Pretty View No more sadness No more pain? Watch That Blood
It's happening again.The same old phone calls at nearly 4am.Wondering if I should even pick up,Its pretty obvious what you want-You only tell me you love me after 2am.Once everyones gone and the liqour sets in. You dialate in the darkness,wander b
We drank to fade awayuntil it worked.When the morning light painted the bodiesthat we were still trapped in,we fell asleep;too exhausted to carethat we still existed.
Kids walk through the hall, Never knowing when we all might fall, This week, last week, The feelings follow, Inside we are hollow, Between the bruises and scarres we learn, The beatings we earn,
She is tired. Tired of everything. She cries every day. She is afraid. So she wants to forget. Forget her life and who she is. So she turns. 11: 30 P.M. Turns to drugs.
What happened that night was so unexpected, She did everything to make him stay because she feared of being rejected, She thought she was with the Prince in her dream, A Cinderella Story wasn't necessarily the theme,
August 18th Wrapped up your last pair of good sneakers In the crease of my elbows Went walking in your arms
She is Tall Brilliant Gorgeous Funny Amazing I am Average She is A girl who, when she says "hello" her smile is genuine And it makes your heart pound in your chest
Adolescence is only but a piece in my puzzle Its reminiscence cascade in parts that portray the whole image Appearing in glossy bent forms, But my experiences are only components of my
I was once depressed. Most people didn’t know. You slap a smile on your face and they don’t take the time to tell the difference between happy and sad.
On the very brink of reality, Hanging on the edge of safety, Tweet, tweet, tweeting up, up high, The in and out breaths, the deep sigh, To jump or hop back to the nest?
This predictable feeling of old, The one of countless tales told, Has become an object of the norm, That word surrounded with storm, I had predicted to feel detached from me,
Love is meant to last, But alas, it is very fragile like glass, It may break into little pieces that even when glued, Taped together preciously or delicately sewed,
Remember that time? When we swore we were perfect Ironically in love with each other’s imperfections Barely leaving any space between us to take in the recollections.
Will it come to pass me by or will it never come at all Will it come with my sorrows or will it come with my family's sorrows I ask myself this everyday for you never know when it'll be your last
I met him that day at summer camp. He was tall, and he was inspiring, and he was beautiful. But his father was taken away from him so suddenly, And the pain burned a hole inside of him that seemed too big to patch up.
I admit that I hate I'm feeling alone... Checking for texts with every second, But the black covers my phone. It doesn't light up every minute Like my sister and my mom's So I keep waiting here, here
She's just a girlfull of dreams and hopesimagination as big as texasdaddys little princess
Your teeth are clenched, your head down. Your nails sink deeper and deeper with every sound Your pace is rather brisk, for You feel numerous eyes staring they penetrate through your skin
As children we scribbled on paper so white, Counting the colors, Enjoying the sight, Of the marvelous splendor, Of something we made, Showed it to mom, Then went out and played.
Day breaks at dawn, Falls at dusk, Leaving me alone. Taking away the magic, That once was. Mind racing to remember, Only to find pages of white. The painting that used to be,
What am I gonna do when you’re gone? Because you couldn’t let anybody in to hear the cries of your sad song. So tell me what am I gonna do when you’re gone?
The tears were streaming down my face, happy thoughts I could not retrace. I stare up at my computer screen, social media can be so mean. I type my goodbyes
The paradise child Fell from convenience Onto the concrete The asphalt Did not taste of sweetness But of fear
Should I write you letters, or a post card maybe.. Do you even listen to me, or do you choose to make me wait? Dear God, are you listening? I can hear it's heartbeat, can you hear mine too?
My head is spinning, round and round. My legs lose power, I fall to the ground. My scars are burning, brighter and brighter. My hope is soaring, higher and higher. In my mind, their voices say.
All it took was one shot For you to spiral down the drain ‘Cause though you may have fought You couldn’t evict the pain All it took was one thought For you to decide it was time
Thing is, The days she wakes up With dread for the mirror And nights crumble away With never-ending tears. Because she isn’t- Because she can’t be- Because she’ll never be-
As a teenager, time and time again, I am asked the question, "want a drink?" My response to the request always catches the others by surprise. Do I want a drink? To me, this question is so much more.
What is a thousand dollars if I can't kiss the scars off my mother's feet replenish the color of her sunken cheeks stuff her stomach when she refuses to eat subtract years from her age
If the world is listening, Let them hear this; My life is not perfect, My life is not bliss. I'm happy almost never. The sadness always stays. I'm always the one who's wrong. I'm always the one who's to blame.
Let’s swap hands you take my heart I’ll take your cigarette. Light me up here I’ll block the wind with the cuffing of my hand.
I see my soul soaring, Flying like an eagle, They try to tie me down, Where I cannot be free.
One day I found Poetry needed no rhymes So unlike, when the piano clunked, when my sobs sogged keys, when my fingers clumsily blundered, The keys I was taught to play Displeasing Mother’s ears
I see your tears everyday and just want to hold you tight,I hear you when you cry in your pillow every single night,I watch you go to work and whisper I love you in your ear,
It's funny how people think I'm a really strong person and nothing bothers me. I'm always smiling, trying to be the happiest person I can be. I hide behind fake smiles & "I'm fine"
Times are hard, Hearts are broke, no one knows what lies ahead, maybe a miracle. Her hearts shattered and beaten, It shows on her body, No one believes it Hes killing her.
Get Em Get Em Get Em Party Party Party Cups stacked along the corners of a torn house Aligned like a house of cards, fragile Reeking of booze, alcohol Oops spilled some on the floor
What is this insane reality that I live in. Its seems to be that every time I come to see. I can't still believe. I'm walking 'round Blind I'm worse than the mice. I'm awakening from beauty.
When ones so close to death You didn't even notice you took your last breath Your still alive and yet there's so much hope We all pray here Left with cope Your still young you've got so much left to see
We lost you. Your gone. I know you tried and tried Fought all you could But this time you had to give. Yeah we suffered,for the ♥ of you Your my dad don't forget that too.
Everyone keeps staring at me My belly swells and my feet hurt I didnt ask for this change I didnt ask for this experience stop staring at me please judging me in your head whispers in the shadow of my back
I am young. Thinking more of girls, than of grades, I take the time to ponder lips of pink-ish red, soft and moist, Glossed with the scent and color of strawberries, With curvaceous beauty, with supple sensitivity.
The two of us lay silent and still In the midst of the clear summer breeze I blinked my eyes a few more times This must be a dream; give my arm a squeeze We spoke no words, yet I felt his love
Tu me donne ton portable, et j'ai lu un message. Je découvre qu'il s'agit d'une terrible annonce. Tu ne m'aime plus? Mais, je ne comprends pas pourquoi? J’écoute, je comprends, et je peins mon amour pour toi.
Some of the kids would go silent when I walked by in the hall Look at anything but me Or sometimes they'd laugh at me They knew They'd call me a loser, a freak Saying things about my mom
If I were one for praying, If I were to supplicate the gods, I would ask them to deliver me to you So that I may be humbled in the presence Of a beauty akin to that of the divine.
feeling insecure, like im against the rest, or as if I was in a game trying to complete a difficult test. always having enemy's never just a few, always trying to challenge me, like what I already face will never do.
Let is not waste our precious time on all those harmful screens, that connects us to the world but disconnect us form the scene.
Day by day I face an internal outcry that rages My mind never silent I dream word of worry I wake with panic Day by day I am forced to face life in an undeveloped body I am judged for my emotions
You're not good enough And you never will be You're ugly You're too fat No one will ever like you Because you're fat You're too skinny You will never look like her
To see the one I love, happy, means the world to me Even if that means I've got to set him free I love him But he loves someone else
I will never fall in love for fear of a constantly harrowed heart
I am alone, yet not lonely. I am unique, although I am just like you. I love, but I am not in love I care, and do not let myself be cared for. I wish, and cannot hope. I am living, yet I am not allowed to live.
A Sharpie hanging in the air Taunting me from your fingertips Just the knowledge that it’s there Is enough to put me on edge You laugh as I slip it from your hand Knowing I just let you lure me in
My boyfriend is a senior and he doesn’t have long He has 6 college offers 2 are in IL, but not in Chicago I can deal with that 4 are in other states, nowhere near Chicago Ain’t nobody got time for that!
Death, murder, heartache, incarceration The very things teens attempt to avoid Texting and driving The very thing that can lead to it all
Falling, falling, falling— Limp like the rag doll I used to play with But that has now been packed away in a storage box Somewhere amongst the dust of the forgotten in the attic— You hold me up again.
I'd show him what he asked for If he called me beautiful, I'd take another shot If I could prove that I'm fun, I'd agree we were "just messing around" If I could feel his love On a night like tonight,
Almost burned in the fire Didn't feel the burn, but I got the marks Generations getting higher and higher We left the atmosphere without any talks I find the mistakes that I've made
As we lay on the soft, dew-wet grass, staring into the night sky as Colors boom and bang around us, as we sit perfectly still, So perfect, so quiet, yet peaceful. Two young souls lost in the ashes of the fireworks.
Tick Tock The bell screams I wait... and wait... And finally the show begins. HIs lip quivers with thoughts HIs eyes staring, imploring with the deepest green It's only a moment, yet I feel it
I live my life by a code To never get drunk nor high, But people think me queer or rude. My code exiles me from the cliques, Never invited to outings or parties, Never asked to stand in the student body.
You left with spring never to experience the summer. In the fall you came again, you came as a shock to those you left and now all that remains are those bereft.
You think you cool just cause you have sex with the dudes, I have news for you that just makes you a fool, I guess you like the center of attention and whispers behind your back,
The months of waiting and tears Lead to this moment; Where I can finally hold you again, And hear your heartbeat, And breathe you in. It's been too long since i've seen you're smile And your eyes,
Brilliance was burned away We drank away our thoughts Gambled which would stay and which would go, We didn't know.
The sky is clear, but in this cage it is hard to notice. This cage that constricts me from seeing beyond the bars is unbearable, and I am unable to set myself free.
Your troubles were my troubles, your struggles I made my own. What I got in return was nothing more, but pain. Now what do I have to show, I am nothing but alone. My eyes watered like rain, you made me feel so insane.
Its been 24 hours since yesterday, I know u might think That I exaggerate but I just can't explain' This feeling is suffocating me, Cuz I know yours aren't the same' that you thought they were...
When I was a kid, I thought the world was like the one in the cartoons The hero dressed in his red, white, and blue would always fly in and save the day
One day in the middle of the night I heard a voice I woke up and looked around But no one was there, I thought it was just a sound So I went back to sleep Hoping my dreams would fall in the deep
He looked at Me today.. He didn't speak but He peeped at Me today.. I caught that little smirk, I still consider him a jerk for the way he portrays himself around school, but its all cool.
A hard world we live in today It's almost like the ultimate video game But unlike a game there is no resetting No pausing And definitely No extra lives But these harsh realities are often ignored
Life is tough, so get a helmet, That's what we have been hearing all our lives. Stuck in the in between of getting spoken to like a child, But expected to act like an adult.
Disease is the reason For the loss of my loved ones, And possibly the future Loss of others.
Its time to make a decision A decision to stand or to fall To live life to the fullest or fall in the trash of the past The time is now to decide to live and to love the lives we have
I sit here alone, Afraid and confused This child that I bear, Leaves me not the bit amused This was not on purpose, I should have kept my head on focus. How can I tell them?
(poems go here) why do you so desperately seek attention? I just want to gather you all for an intervention It's a problem--- Epidemic
Be aware if you dare stare i don't care i have everything being my teddy bear its ok if you dont like me but i bet my life you wont doubt me because i have potential like no other
Today I am 17, soon to be 18 and it wont be long until adults will respect me, youth will reflect me. But I just sit here in my room waiting for Peter Pan to come. Before
Look at the sky, It’s pure and white. Nothing compared to my soul That’s neglected and dark. The trees stand tall, Branching out far Nothing compared to my soul That slums down,
If innocence were bottled up in human form, she would be the epistle within Her chestnut hair glistens underneath the morning sun Her dark eyes possess a thousand, mystifying riddles
laying cold dripped in sweat eyes rolled back shaking at the tips I sit hear wondering why o why I fall to my knees frightened by the sight purple lips and cold blood
Afraid to admit? Afraid what other people will think? About the truth? If its too deep? Well, i think your weak. I think thats a problem. You're brainwashed and blinded by love that is not true love. A boy who does not care.
Lost in the moment, you move against me. Fingers graze. Skin ablaze. Heart skips, heart jumps. Temptation seeking, you whisper, “breathtaking”.
She slid the blade deep into her arm Breathing heavy, trying so hard to hold in her emotions yet release all her feelings. She thought of the sister that didn't love her, The mother to busy to care,
That although we are far apart I will hold you close to my heart When you're either up or down I'll always have a remedy for your frown That in the event you shed a tear
Your way to young, you don't know what to do who's gonna love you and guide you through? The guy is gone that's usually how it goes Your mom and dad aren't happy and soon everyone will know.
A door opens Empty of memory Cold, Dark, Eerie Depression creeps in Sadness takes over The walls drooping with pain Crying tears of blood No acceptance from reality Pain has overcame pleasure
She sits there in the corner. She reaching for the phone. She pulls back her hand, Her time is like a hourglass sand. Curling over with tears, All her fears become real. She goes into shame,
I will never understand why you died Yes I know the reason why Someone bullied you And said mean things about you But why did it affect you You are beautiful And you are smart
I’m done Yet I can’t quite grasp it Why something like this would happen to me How could something like this happen to me That trust I built has just been destroyed I’ve never been this broken before
Whatever happened to the flowers? The water lilies and poppies and marigolds, With their dewy stalks and folds?
I don't know who I am The white in my life blew out I don't know where I stand At thirteen my soul was left in doubt The only white The purity The innocence... of me Taken in the dark
You saw me standing there and didn’t say a word But neither did I because I knew I would be ignored. Our hearts simultaneously beating faster Not knowing what to do When all I really want to say is:
I blame you You are why they lower their expectations Why they say “Hey grrr” instead of “Hey girl” around me Why they assume I’m poor Why they talk down to me
Stop and stare. Who goes there? Not a pal or a friend. Maybe a foe or a fiend. Can you see her? Or maybe its a him? Duck! And Dodge! Close one my friend. Don't fight back.
It hurts like the sting of ice and cold. It hurts cause I know that's what's like your soul. It hurts because you forced me to believe the words you say. It hurts to think how can I manage another day.
His heart stained the floor a dull red, While his breaths escaped under his bed. Valiantly he fought the war but wound up dead, Although the war was only inside his head. Swords clashed; dragons spit fire.
You have now brought this new plate Plate of Gold, that no one else but I can Hold You have now brought this new light A light so powerful, not even darkness can contrite For you have NOW brought this new happiness
Looking in the mirror Sadness stains her face. Red lines cover her, making feelings fade. They call her names. The torment her. The wall she has built is breaking. She goes home to a world too adult.
It burns in the back of my mind, day and night the burning goes, bursting to be untethered, lust, fear, sorrow and pride, its all here, in the back of my mind, but if I were to unleash these inner demons,