'anxiety'

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I will admit I’m afraid of the dark.   Not for its shallow emptiness, But rather what lurks In the shadows of my mind After the sun breaks the sky.   Not for its null of silence
The pear trees have surrendered. Their blossoms, once lifted by the wind of laughing hopeful children, now lay limp on the dry ground.
Wait until darkness. Wait until the blackness of the night engulfs me whole. Wait until the words, which once supported me like bones, shatter beneath me. Dreaming of a life in which I will never live.
TW: ED   Pick it up. Put it back down.
my hand is pulsing with energy my heart is pumping maybe too fast and im afraid to walk out the wrong door as the dragon and her keeper wait
Gasp for air in a crowded room The way you walk Heart pounds a thundering boom shaking voice when you talk   Quiet place lose your nerve wear it on your face but stay reserved  
A freezing wind blows upon my upturned face. Do you feel it too when the world spins at this pace? When disaster strikes, we drag out our monsters, But through the night we wait for something softer.  
People are not all that they seem, streams of lowered self-esteem. Darkness running through and through, constantly running into you. Hopelessness keeps you up,  you are falling into a rut.
Inhale. My hands shake, my head aches, my chest heaves.  Panic, fear, doubts are all I hear.  It’s a silent but seen demon that creeps, and steals and ruins. 
Eight o'clock pm Perfect time to get some rest in I've set the alarm Placed my pillows just right I lay my head and hold my bear tight   But the monsters under my bed The man inside my head 
 Heart, beating fast as if we had reached the end. Hands, shaking like the earthquake shoke the ground. Mind, racing like kids on the playground. It has to stop, i cant go on. i think to myself.
I When I was three I was taught the shape of a heart My stubby hands learned to draw first by scribbling the curved and pointed symbol of love
They say that there’s a certain type of feeling That defines you That hurts you That changes you   Or maybe that’s just me   They would tell me depression Had physical scars
 Another day, another dollar Never quite getting my head above the water. Xenacious in my wait for an end I know it'll happen, I just dont know when. Emptiness erodes all layers of my brain
Can anyone hear me? Hello? Thought so. Talking into a deep and empty cradle of depression and anxiety.
In the darkness, I feel lost and weary I have to gasp, reach for a single breath. The pressure grows, truly it is scary I turn face so as to not embrace death.   The night goes on and the monster whispers
Thankyou anxiety! For everything I thought I couldn't do, for the moments I felt blue because of you, and convinced myself I was a fool for not loving you.  
CO2
I write poetry So the tick tick tick Tock will stop being Stuck in my brain   Around and around I go
Did she hide because she was scared? What was she scared of? Did she even know? Was she jealous? Of what? What do I have that she doesn’t?
Silence. I just want silence. Radio static flickers on a broken record spinning at a million miles an hour and no matter how much you slow it down it's always too fast. Silence.
Silence. I just want silence. Radio static flickers on a broken record spinning at a million miles an hour and no matter how much you slow it down it's always too fast. Silence.
 Anxiety is believing in magic. If I move my hand the door will hold its lock.  When I tense every muscle in my body the pressure will stop. 
My hands, like rope tying over my cracking neck  Whispers and murmurs
I, in the current state, is not a stateThat nobody wants.My past state, is alsoA state nobody wants.I, in the past,Was like a jesterIn the king’s court.Some memories die,While some don’t.
I’m a poster child with no more room on the wall, And I want to be the molly ringwald of every situation. The eyes in the back of my head hear you talking bad about me,
I tell my boyfriend i have anxiety disorder. he tells me, “don’t worry we all get anxious over something.”   yes, while you may be anxious over the test you have tomorrow,
Mayhem on your mind. When you find peace, then we’ll be. Earn back what is yours.
The first time you asked for a hug I flinched. It was because of you. But it was not. It was all about me. My head was playing a horror movie.
Leaving lather on the floor is the best way to leave the shower tonight. Water beads, down the drain, but her hands glide. She speaks few words, and quivers her lip, so heavily in this night. I love your skin, you simple fool.
Ms. Play it safe, Mrs. take it slow. Doesn’t know what to do or where to go Mrs. Overly protective. Mrs. Overcautious. Worried about the consequences of every little thing.
my breath runs exit sign teeth door lips quick as the realization swiftly mugged me of my tranquility   i can feel
I appear to be stuck in my own mind. It's been this way for as long as I've lived, Hidden in dreams, pretending to be kind. Overreacting I'm not that deprived, But I've realized I'm not the only one.
tears spilled in closet nobody knows or cares i'm alone again
Swallow these pills you’ll feel better Prozac, zoloft, seroquel, hydroxyzine, pills pills pills Take it, swallow it with your saliva and let it dissolve in your stomach acid
Dear anxiety - There's so much to tell you and this isn't me in a postcard writing after months of no word but the isolation is just the same. I have so much to tell you
I saw the stars for the first time in a while.    Was it you shining down on me?   I've never seen them  so clearly in this sad and busy city.  
My companion anxiety It is time for you to go You're not welcome here anymore But this you already know   Reasoning with you doesn't work Neither begging nor pleading You go away only to return
 Dear Alicia,   Remember when life seemed so simple?
A Letter to My Anxious Brain:   You’re doing it again. The video of the guy with ALS, It set you off? Didn’t it. It started out small— Innocuous. His arm was sore. Now he’s saying goodbye
Dear Anxiety, I’d like to say it’s been a while, but that’d be a lie. I saw you yesterday. We sat and you told me everything I didn’t want to hear.
Dear Anxiety    Why have you strung me up so high  With my nerves at their end, hands and feet tied? People tell me all the time 
Dear Mental Health, We talked about this. You said that if I took my head meds, You said that if I reached out, You said that if I tried,
You don’t have OCD Do you have to do things in certain numbers? Knock three times on a door? Turn the knob three times to open it?  
We look to find just who we are inside Forever looking to find where we fit Having constant fear of being denied In the process some people just lose it Everywhere we attempt to interact
To you, my greatest fear. You've always been here You and all your silly irrationalness.  Making me fear that I have a deadly illness. Oh wait, what's that? Is that the sign for early cancer from a bat?
Hey Fear,   What’re you still doin’ here? I told you to go Cause you always bring me down So low – A simple question’s all it takes To make my hands shake Like my life’s at stake
"Mom, my depression is taking over my life."  She asks me, "Where did depression come from?" I tell her, "It's my dormant friend inside my head that never leaves."
You are a pleasure to most,  And a curse to some.  You are a ghost, That they can't covercome. For those that fear,  And those that submit. You are never clear,  You make people acquit.
Dear 13-year-old me, Here's something to keep in mind. You're going to spend too many months Thinking you have worth you have yet to find.   You are more than that tiny number Showing up on the scale
Dear Anxiety:   Please leave. I don’t like you. I certainly don’t need you.   ...or do I? Would I
Dear Anorexia, Anxiety, and Depression: thank you. I am not thanking you for putting me through the worst parts of my life; I write this to thank you for making me stronger.
My anxiety hits me in waves like the tides that crash on the beach, Hitting me hard and unrelenting and then Suddenly gone. Comparitive to the low tide when the waves are pulled back and reveal a soft and new beach.
Can't keep a diary when there's no such thing as privacy It hurts Trapped in my body trapped in my head Who's keeping us together? Baby boy stops her from shattering
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