' 'fear'

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I am nine years old, and I fear the monsters. They hide in my closet, under my bed, behind my curtains.  Their shadowy forms leer at me, laugh at me.  I flick on the lights, run to my parents' bedroom.
I'm sorry it's the simple curse of existence  "It's not polite for little girls to sit like that, you're a respectable lady now aren't you?  It's a woman's job, you'll have to get used to it."   
Coincidence is not fate Says reality formed, looping like Crochet work unfinished by some Bored Deity   Coincidence is not fate
clip-clop, clip-clop, clip-clop Running towards the first money barrel The sound of the horse’s hooves don’t stop  Turn the barrel, hit the gravel   Reminiscing the first time I ever rode a horse
invader of thought hinderance of my achievements best to tune you out  
Am I wrong for this This is how I came into this world And this is how I will leave Naked and unafraid  
"what your biggest fear?"reads the paper above. you remember the ache in your chest, not a few months backwhen you had spiraled down and slipped through the cracksyou remember the down you had hit years agothe doctor said it would come againit tur
Judgment, judgment Other’s eyes and thoughts look at me, stare at me mock me, laugh at me Shhhh---- Did you hear anything?
I like to think that our biggest insecurities are the ones that our bodies accept,
I’m on a boat. I’m 7. I remember boats can capsize. I begin to doubt the integrity of this boat. I panic.   I’m in a car.
  Age 2: Loud noises Age 4: Monsters and ghosts Age 8: My math teacher Age 10:The tallest roller coaster Age 12: Public Speaking
Why do I fear you?   You are irrelevant in the grand scheme Of things Because I know you are not an ally. You who tells me
Insanity creeps in, the walls have been broken, the lonliness seeps in, but nobody has spoken. The fear starts to sink in, I think I am sinking. Don’t let me fall down , The hole without reason 
Frayed are the edges of my mind. Regardless of however much I try, they never lose their grip; they never die.   Knuckles now are turned to white; the fears inundate my eyes.
  You have always rejected yourself When looking in the mirror You couldn’t help the feeling of shame For how long you have been feeling like that, who knows
Fear is near, fear is here. What do I do? Never  go back there? No, wait! I fell from the horse, I cannot loss, I will be the boss! Straight back on the horse. Determination and stready coarse. 
Most people are afraid of spiders or public speaking, Or maybe dark rooms and floor boards creaking, And while these may perhaps be on my list
Fear of Losing Myself    The mirror is fogged. I can’t see the startled face reflected, caught mid-scream. Where am I?  I pound the glass only for it to break. Flimsy.
fuck. a. thot. she comes into my life again. who are you. you wet sock. we are done. you broke up with me "i love you"
When I was younger I imagined you would never meet your grandchildren Forgive my honesty, I just didn't think you had it in you Growing up hearing, "I never wanted kids" sets up quite a disappointing example
Cover my eyes so I may see no Evil,Cover my eyes so I may not see you.But your Love keeps me tied to you like some unwanted tether,A Golden Lasso of something I no longer wish to have.
Your words dropped to the floor like the weapons that they were,For you cared not for what you meant to me,For you cared not that your words stung like a slap to the face,
    They decided on white water rafting through rushing tides. I was stuck, gripping paddles and the edges
In his eyes Forests of green, Fires of gold, Rivers of dean. Away from a world I thought I once knew- Oceans of crystal, Violets of view, Escape the river Escape the new.
I've always been a friend of fear, it's followed me everywhere i go. But fear became my best friend when pain became my world. My life took turns I didn't expect my body used my mind abused
My thoughts race of you like the speed of light, to uncover  what is true, your height? enough so that I'm able to look up to you.
My thoughts race of you like the speed of light, to uncover  what is true, your height? enough so that I'm able to look up to you.
I'm afraid when I fall asleepWill I forget everything about today?All the laughs and smiles.All the anger and frustration.All the pain and tears.Things I did and the reasonings for them.  
Quiet and unsure, Shaking and scared   With a stutter so obscure The words wouldn't come out   They asked again,
Remember that monster under my bed, Claws like a lion and six eyes on its head. That old monster creeping beneath me Always making me shout for my dad to go see. That monster who never did one bad thing to me,
I once was struck by a powerful wave So now I fear the sea And waters that seem to behave, Still drown me in reluctancy. Perhaps I fear for when I swim, The water that appeared so still,
It is apart of me   It crawls underneath my skin my lips slam close to stop the attempted escape my stomach fight with clenched invisible fists
Days are cold Nights are long Not as bold As the morning gong   Through the path Lost in the mess Of the crazy psychopath
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but your words, they just might kill me. 
You stand over me and promise to never leave me, but that’s what I hate about you most. The dark purple, almost black ember that surrounds you makes you only that much more haunting.
Him
I want to believe I deserve him, I want to be able to look at him without thinking, He could have more, do more, have better, He is a diamond, and I, but a simple love letter.
The eyes grew larger at the sightThat could, a grown man, fill with fright.The eyes nearly bulged out their headWhile spying upon the walking dead.
Ms. Play it safe, Mrs. take it slow. Doesn’t know what to do or where to go Mrs. Overly protective. Mrs. Overcautious. Worried about the consequences of every little thing.
I want to live each day, unafraid. Of what to say or to do or to wear or to think. Unafraid of where to go, what people will say. Just one day, in the moment. Unafraid of what the future will bring.  
Dear Fear, I apologize for the suddenness In which I write this note to you, But as I look back over our time together My thoughts are overdue. You’ve done much to protect me,
To: me Before,   you did the same. glances and touches added fuel to a fire that wasn’t yours to  stoke.   To: them Now,    she stokes his fire
Dear World, I am the same yet different I am strong although weak I am whitty and humorless I am lighthearted and at the same time serious I am scared and yet courageous I am bold while being timid
What a lovely rose Petals as smooth as fine silk Yet the thorns may cut
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