benz

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He was born Sophia. But it doesnt fit him, and that name is as dead as the flowers I have pressed in my journal. Always there, a reminder, what I have to call hm in front of his mom.
There's nothing more depressing than pigeons in the park. Did you know that stars are most likely burnt out by the time we see their light? Your soft lips in the light of the exit sign,
The cement is radiating heat, infusing into my sneakers and deep in my bones. An old friend just called today, and I miss her.
I have a migrane. I'm wearing some guy's hat, another's hoodie, and a girl's scrunchie around my wrist. I smoked in the car this morning, and my hair is messy. I'm a mess today.
I am never going to grow up. Similair to a Twinkie, I could last forever and live on, well-loved by everyone and never growing old, but I won't. I'll be consumed and disappear.
Every seven years. Every seven years, I am going to change. Seven years ago, I was Christian. Christian and sweet and soft-voiced. I had almost forgotten my uncle with his bourbon breath,
If you're going to the same party I am, please don't ask where I'll be. I'll be wearing my revenge dress, dancing with a boy with blue hair or a girl with a nose ring, and you don't want to see that.
PSA
Hey. I'm Benz. I changed my name when I was fifteen, cause my mans would always pick me up from school in a mecedes. I'm many things. Buddhist, retired emo, a total stoner, and a little bit of a hoe.
 I will always be here for you. I will be there for the late nights, the early mornings,  the breakdowns and the breakups. I know you don't love me. But, could you please just love my name on a screen?
I'm not one for fists, and honestly, the fact that you would punch someone for me isn't very hot. You've seen me come to to school with black eyes, busted lips and bruised skin. Yeah.
I am not going to write about you. I am not going to write about him. I am not going to write about it. I am not going to write about me. I want to write about the world. I want to write about changes.
Her face is like the midnight sky. The whites of her eyes are half moons, and the stars escape when she cries. I hope she doesn''t anytime soon, but I've tagged her with graffiti constellations,
My right-side brain's growing fowers, my lungs are sprouting roots. My heart's a dripping beehive, its sweetness all for you. So wrap it all up in paper, send a burnt offering to the sky.
I climb out my window just to see if I can. My parents used to be police officers, no joke, yet here I am in the clubhouse of a legitimate gang.
Meet you after school in your car, we can drive out to the park. Hope my mom doesn't call, get me home before dark. No one has to know, keep my lips on the low, I'll tell my friends that you're cool,
*READ THE COMMENTS* He walks through the hallway with an arrogant swagger only the deeply insecure can pull off. he has the dyed hair of Lil Peep, the black nails of a victim of the black plague,
Jinx knew she was in trouble when she saw his name flash across her screen. He, the almightly nail-painter, combat-boot-wearer, bipolar feelings-fucker, he needed her. I mean, she was assuming that's what this was about.
I know you wear combat boots just so you're taller than me, and your only cologne is the smell of weed drifting from your flannel. You tug at my sleeve with a smug grin,
I was twelve and rebellious, far from God and home at curfew, and my mother worried. Of course, the logical way for any modern mother to solve her daughter's issues-
You and your ideas of luck and things that sad men sing and empty rooms bleed. There really wasn’t any need for you to be kind,
Cause things got so much harder on the west coast. When i moved here i realised i needed you most. One week i had a lover, the next, a ghost.
The scariest part of being alone is liking your empty home. It’s a double edged blade made of security and pain, it’s depressions bed at three am, it’s saying “i’m okay with this.”
The smell of creosote reminds me of the place I live, but the salt air here reminds me of home. I see the way people change when they look. Really look.
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