Queer

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I've spent too much time caring about other people's views Wear what you want It doesn't matter who you are Born a girl, feel like a boy Don't want to wear your skirts cause society says it ain't right
i like to think we- the transsexuals- are more divine than the gods, for we weild the touch of creation. we birth our own flesh and blood, build our own bodies, and shape them with loving hands.
Tell me about the scattered-star sky. 
So you call yourself a patriot? One who supports this dreaded land?   You find yourself proud of this Of all we have destroyed?
Society says You’re not sick; you’re just fine Society says that you don’t need help That you don’t know pain That you’ve never felt The way it is to have to ask Am I dying?
I never thought  I'd understand, fully The pain that accompanies the memory The stab in the back as my thoughts force me to recall All of the things they've said to me
the inevitable question arises again and it cuts just as deep as it always does   the inevitable question always asked by someone else always painful always innocent
I eat too much to die and not enough to live and I claim that I try but I can’t say how much effort I really give   my body is shutting down but I’m past the point of feeling it
I’ve heard it’s hard To come to this A last resort So don’t resist   The way I ask Is not quite clear Some people think There is no fear   The fear is there
I think if I could swim it might be rather fun But for now I’d rather run Because the sea levels are rising and I think they might just swallow me whole And the night would go quiet They might think it droll
Consuming my days, and Filling the nights With a special blend of dread   It’s a debate in my head: I want the day to be over I want it to never end   I dread the days
They tried to tell me The funniest thing That what I’ve avoided Will be my own doom   They whispered so loudly The things I fear most And the monster inside me Uses my illness to boast.
The system is broken You can’t change my mind They don’t look for the right signs and warnings... And it hurts but I can’t And you won’t understand But I guess that’s the price left to pay  
The sky was falling In the form Of grey translucent drops.   The air was heavy In my lungs So my mind took me away.   I made a plan I packed and ran Every
You say the shoes need filled By someone greater than I You think they are still too big Just like your ego—I mean the figment From which my imagination grew? But what you fail to notice
I wanted to be a singer. I wanted to be so many things Things you used to tell me I could Things you told me I would be But I can’t I never could And all I can do right now is
Some of you have never had to Walk home with your head on a swivel Your hands clutching keys Your head filled with fear Some of you Have never had to wonder If you’ll make it home in one piece
Otherness It's something I feel often.  people talk at great lengths, with  such passion of things I do not  understand.  They speak of romance and attraction  like the world will end without it. 
First: Jesus loves you. Even if he is the only man who does at the moment.   Two: your sexuality and your religion are not mutually exclusive and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.  
Dear chubby queer kid I know those words feel like insults now But someday you will learn to own them To wear them like medals you earned Because you did earn them Fighting every day to survive
The year I was born Was the same year Matthew Shepard was murdered The same year blood filled our televisions And anger burned our throats The year I was born was when everything changed
Friday night, first week of May, you brought me here like a child. Hungry for new experiences. A new world. Scared that that world might not accept him as he is. Nervous.That night we drank, we danced, we laughed, and we kissed…. 
I never told my parents I was gay. Never mentioned that I would not be giving them grandchildren. An eleven year old’s mind, full of insecurity, but eleven year old’s will listen. Listen to the news that you watch
A tight, heavy thing becomes known inside.Who knows if it's new or only just discovered?I wonder if I'm just trying to hidewho I am behind a facade, coveredso well I'm not aware I'm doing it.
Oh my sweet boy You who were once my morningstar Far away and too far gone Lost amidst the endless sea Drowning you with each crushing wave
The grave hollows the liesThat are performativeFor it reveals my own bondageShake the blocks crushing down my skirtSo it crumbles down the mirror of delusion
Who are you in the flesh?Were you always masculine or feminine Or were you just too extreme for the box?
It's just those kids that are a little bit off,  when a teacher calls their name and they struggle not to cough And ,,Girls on the right and boys on the left" is a terrifying statement
A minute is slicing my nerves It gives me a pressure along my body's curves Muting my voice down to the silence Betraying me, my gestures are put in defiance  A minute ago I was a human
I've been uprooted thrice. First found no comfort in being myself. By  being swept off the ground. The people hanged stigma over With voices harsh and loud Second, the state failed to make me proud
Remain untouched by the love and acceptance of the other Stay beyond of life and people's circles You're all alone  The best you can do is to hide yourself from your mother
you breathed a song into my mouth, a melody so beautiful that if he should hear it, Bernstein would write off his symphonies as nothing more than empty refrains.   
Little do they know,  As they march along the streets, bearing flags upon their shoulders— As they raise their banners high with faces strong and filled with purpose—
She tucks her t-shirts into her skirt. She died a streak of her hair in 4th grade. She only played tag with others girls. She won't tell her family she likes her, she isn't afraid, she just doen't need to.
I love my mother I love her warmth I love her wit I love her fearlessness and admire her endurance I love the way she loves strangers I love the way she loves me   In adolescence,
i slept in my binder last night, the fabric compressing tight holding my ribs close
We sat togetherfingers intertwinedlegs swinging overthe ledge,the edge of abyss(of bliss?)no space between
to be queer is strange, but stranger is pretending for you that i’m not.   i am not a bug to be shut in a jar and
You say they’re confused They don't know what they want They don't understand And in order to put the world in order
after Marina and the Diamonds  
You’re usually not that blunt. It’s usually sewn in with threads of: motherhood, divine goal, dating advice, dances, I usually just   don’t exist.  
A haircut It all started with a haircut seems kinda stupid But there it is   Pleasant smiles Suddenly became confused glares
when i couldn't turn to anyone words put on paper let me feel comfort in the simple words she, he, they a lover of poetry and people
me
I am too I am way too please            help me                               because I                                     am too    
Her
Ethereal angel of ice and snow,  Against thy cheeks, the wind doth blow. A zesty tang of winter spirits Bid thee come to see and hear its Melodies of gentle breeze, see Spectacles of painted trees,
Dear future me,   I am from a softly lit night sky stretching out into the dawn, a homely little cottage basking in its warmth.
Dear Humanity,   The lips she used to kiss  Her same sex lover with,  And the binary she dismissed Made them all loose their mind 
The lips she used to kiss  Her same sex lover with,  And the binary she dismissed Made them all loose their mind  in bits, and hiss, and scream,
To my 18-year-old self, I know you are scared Because it took you forever To admit to yourself That you might be gay.   I know you’re confused Because you’ve liked boys before, too
August 23, 2017   Dear Mom, Please read this entire letter through and don't skip around; read this before opening the email I sent you. Please keep an open mind. I love you!
Because I am not who you want me to beYou criticize, chastise, and punish meCurse me to the end of the Earth,And throw your religion in my face.  
It’s not okay You know, it’s just not It’s not okay that I can’t just be me You say that me is all I can be But, then, tell me why I can’t be me when I’m with thee.
To live and breathe As queer and Samoan- Is to walk a hundred tight ropes- Only to fall, And land on another tightrope On another tightrope On another tightrope On another tightrope
for Sofia   Last night you came over Slept over On a school night The next morning We walked in hand in hand And I got looks from my friends
They said if a boy hits you  he likes you They say if you like a boy Flirt with him They say the guys plan the dates All we have to do is wait But no one say what to do
 A Strange Reality ------------------------   I know nothing of love They say it is divine, "You'll know it just when you fall in". They know nothing at all.   I think it's so rare.
Her skin soft (in texture and color). Brown eyes so quirky and radiant. She's such a dork   and I love that about her. I barely know her,   so why is she the subject of my poems?
I am thankful for queer history. However hidden it has been. I am thankful for the great artists and engineers of the Renaissance. I am thankful for DaVinci and Michelangelo.
A flowering brush silently drips and perspires under the regulation of the dawn. Bees spawn amongst the first lit blooms, humoring the early bird.
I know a few lost boys They wear skirts too small and pants too big They handcraft their own toys They shave off their hair and try on a wig   They wish for time to pass but not to grow old
He died when he was a boy. (Peter breaks through)   Golden child of all his siblings: (the shadow.) beloved, beautiful, anchored
Labels. They can make you feel like you’re soaring above the clouds, Surrounded by birds of feather, whom together they flock, The breeze whisking through your plumage,
America the Lost When people say “America the Great” They are almost unwaveringly supporting An America of Hate.
Olive Oil Caseena Karim   my grandmother prays to a man pale enough for a public to adore   she tells me,
O beautiful for spacious skies, For amber waves of grain   The chorus rings in my living room as we sing, My father clumsily playing the piano And my brother and I singing off-key.
My rights are being taken away! You scream while I cannot go to the bathroom in my home state. My rights are being violated!
That feeling, those feelings, that tingling I have The twinkling, the gleaming, screaming within The bleeding, the pleading, the grieving that’s been Confusing when it’s who I am.
I am a lesbian. I am a human. I am alive. I have feelings. I do not hate men. Men have not hurt me. It's not a phase. I can fall in love.
I smile at myself in the mirror and it all seems a little bit clearer My reflection has grown to an uncharted zone and it all seems a little bit queerer   But queer is the funniest word
January girls are just prettier there's nothing wrong with me February maybe i do like girls that's okay March i don't care what you are i just want love April girls are so amazing in every way
i just want to be. to be anything i choose. to be a doctor. to be a lawyer. to be an artist.   but to be anything i choose, i am forced to change. to change who i am. to change what i stand for.  
With Her, Faces, names, places, All the world spins past, On a colorful carousel   Within grasp, But She is next to me I don't care for anyone else She's here They're not.  
Where is the life I used to have Carried in my suitcase Of neon green?   Did it dissapear down  The rabbit hole of Beige, nothing but  b e i g e.   Did it fall down the
There are two queens In my kingdom  There are two queens In my kingdom, you see   There are two queens And nobody is the 'man' In our damn relationship Do you need basic definitions?
these two situations are not ideal in combination: being thirteen, and realizing that gay is a synonym for your name.  but that was my summer before eighth grade.
It's hard being in a closet.The hangers hit your head and you can't see past whatever clothes you have.But I think it's even harder being in THE closet.
  What's a name if no one ever calls you that? What's a name if spoken in spite?  The constant correction, rejection, feels as if I'm at bat. Would I ever cave to the slander? At best- I might.
I sit in the buckle of the bible belt Fighting to merely exist As white men in stiff suits With smiles that never reach their eyes Sit in a room in DC
I sit in the buckle of the bible belt Fighting to merely exist As white men in stiff suits With smiles that never reach their eyes Sit in a room in DC
to sin with love is to quite simply love, to judge someone's love is like judging art. you may not like the sight or even see the point but to others it may feel just right.
I’m pretty sure that public bathrooms might just be the most important invention of our modern world, I mean think about it,
The main character loves me, the smart side-kickThe thought is a balloon that continuously rises
  Every time someone would ask me my sexuality, I would feel the words get caught in my throat And I’d try my hardest not to swallow them down.
i think of you and the butterflies, swarming my stomach, swim up and up to my throat in a tornado.my gums are growing flowers, making meadows of messages i can only wish to speak to you.
i wish there’s someway i could tell you about not being able to sleep. i want you to view me with virtue; i want your opinions to keep.   so i can’t tell you of what i’m dreaming,
tell me you love me with stars in your eyes and i’ll run my bruised hands through your hair. tell me you love me, darling, it’s no surprise: i’ve known forever that you are there.  
you, who at first made me feel different, and yet at once very much the same: my heart leapt, and my stomach twisted around every syllable of your name.   i don’t think i have ever tried so desperately hard
i am made of ice, my smile permafrost, and my cold and beat-less heart makes no sound. i am steady, and my morals never get me lost. my eyes are open; both my feet are on the ground.  
teach me to play the piano, and i’ll teach you about thermodynamics. your hands are too cold, and mine are too warm; don’t you want to know why that happens?   why, when we touch, you melt and i stiffen?
you have too much heart, and i don’t have enough stars in my eyes, and i'm afraid of loving you, because love comes in different kinds. and i fear the way you smile at me, the way that you laugh,
Define 'happy'.... feel smiling so quickly your brightness radiates out, and blinds you. But even blind you see 'happy' because the sound of your laughter, in blacked-out eyes, paints the northern lights on your mind.
Hey, You! Sitting, struggling, struggling to be sitting  still. Fidgeting and squirming in the seat but   No. Knows standing, Standing is worse. Because standing
For far too long I tried to walk down your road, In hopes that it would pull your attention to me This is the story how I got close to losing myself This is the story how I became so great!  
While the world splits meAnd everythingIn twos,The only option that fits meI'm not allowed to choose.When I tuck up my hairIt's not to impress you.So don't tell me what I should wear.
odd how i think ofYou in the spice aisleof the grocer near my homewhich sits empty,waiting forYour bodyto fill it with the smell of rosemary andsmoke.   if only i had time
I hate what oppression has done for my group. "Maybe you just haven't found the right man yet."   I hate what oppression has done for my group. "Who treated you wrong?"  
Growing up in a rural town, a child is planted in a foundation based on a few societal beliefs That God is the only un-defyable truth in life and societal obedience defines your worth
Institutionalized hatred
I felt society's idea of "normal" slipping through my fingers Like a handful of sand. 
Land of the free Home of the brave As long as you're white And not transgender and certainly not a queer lady.
Help! I’m trapped.   I’m being held inside myself, I get asked… Are you a boy? Are you a girl? What are you? Why do you dress like that? What is wrong with you?  
Why am I different? Why am I shunned? Words you have said with no intent of apology I am stunned. Like a bee your words stung. I was a princess, now I feel homeless. No disrespect intended.
1.         Every time I find myself             Between her legs,                                     I am praying.  
Transgender A word that brings Fear.   That brings dysphoria, confusion, invasive questions Fear of entering another's home and being attacked By their transphobic parents  
This heart is at peace, finally. It has been one hell of a journey.
Dear God, This is a letter from your queer daughter. Wait, hold up did this girl just say queer? "You are not a child of God!" Someone shouts! Oh shut up! This is my letter. Anyway you know I grew up in church
Every day I wake up in the wrong body   The misconceptions it causes   make me feel less like a miss   and more like a mistake  
Tea on a Sunday  evening Two young girls  hide behind their words their illustrations small talk eludes dark realities too afraid to address the monster in the closet
When you saw me walk into your restaurant I doubt that th first thing you thought about was asking me what my preferred pronuns might be Instead, what I'm sure came to mind was: "Shaved underarms bu hairy legs
It feels soft, smooth, curves at the bust.
I am me, that's who I am. I don't go by your rules anymore. I am not just your pretty girl, I am so much more. I am a boy, a girl, neither, both, I am one, I am anything and everything.
Fix
There is a disparity between my mind and my body, like wearing a suit two sizes too small and pressing out desperately but unable to flee.   Looking in the mirror, facing fears,
A human body is made up of trillions of cells Those cells form together to make people People vary in size from babies the size of a hand To still growing adults above eight feet tall
It’s been a couple months. The pictures are all gone. But there's no delete button For the pictures in my head. Or the words that you said. I’ve convinced myself that I’m over you.
Life's a trip when you're queer, But the road needs re-paving,Not a dull moment here,society's ranting and raving."All fags go to hell!""OMG let's go shopping!"Oh my soul I would sell, 
When I lean into your neck and a sigh escapes my mouth, I am trying to tell you how to touch me.  
I can't get my words out because the constrictor in my throat is begging my silence to keep it company. Because they're bigger than me and their burns sting like the cigarettes they want me to be So I stay silent
I rearrange my personality and fix my face, Tuck my curse words and laid back cool college kid demeanor
When my seventh grade self, Riled up over the excitement of having a girlfriend, Came out to my mom I said,
  Does he like me? Dances, kisses, cuddles Hands navigating unchartered territory So many firsts   But her touch Over the now chartered territory But this time was different
I would make everyone see that We're all human. We're all the same. Sharing the same planet and co-existing in beautiful diversity  And these things you call  "race" "sexuality" "gender"
They ask me if I'm confused? They ask me if it's a phase? They tell me it's a choice. That I wasn't born this way.
A twisting lock of hair falls round your face A shield of purple lacquer coats your nail As desperately I need to know my place I try and try and try to no avail.  
In a world of grey,  The dull charcoal of a city sidewalk,  Life bursts through.  Small and insignificant.  And from the cracks,  Color seeps.  A million shades,  And one of them, I. 
come all ye faithful, joyful and triumphant!because who does christmas belong to, anyway?
  I have a magic power
I wish I could tell you about myself: that I love the whole spectrum of gender and that I feel so uncomfortable in my own skin that I want to peel it all away and become new
Straight girl walks in a crooked line Straight to hell, ignoring the signs. Nothing is straight under pressure, Living under a forever broken spine.   Straight talk isn't so straight anymore,
Her hair is short And bitter sweet Her eyes are red She doesn’t sleep ……………………………………….. She lay awake
You call me a queer and I hope you do,  for I do differ from what’s normal to you.  You call me queer and I hope you do, because it’s true. 
I stopped talking to godwhen I was 15because your eyes seemed softerthan oak church pews.
  Dysphoria Sucks   These feelings can suck my non-existent dick but shit That just makes the dysphonia worse doesn’t it?   My dysphoria peaks when my estrogen levels do
Free Baby beluga in the deep blue sea You swim so wild and you swim so free Heaven above and the sea below
Fight Another Hour By Jesse Yelvington   Screw you for saying who and what I’m ‘supposed’ to be, Though I hope you know that nothing you could say will ever change me;  
Become again my Rose of No Man's Land You no longer give me medicine, but I still have the tattoo.   I would sing the body electric if I thought I could stand it.
  I used to steal everything All my jewelry and perfume But you can’t steal from a coffee shop So that’s where all my money went   I knew a girl who took fire to her arms
Every day there is a mirror A mirror of me Who is she? Who is he? The one that stares back Stares back at me With your boyish build And girlish curves Who is she? Who is he?
The minute I walked into those hospital hallways of middle school I knew I had been lied to. The once blissfull saying of: “You can be anything you set your mind to” Became a torturous saying for one simple reason.
Who I love should not define who
I am as a person.Why can you love her, 
butI can’t?What evolutionary methods refuse to releaseme from this cycle.Where can I go for my rights should not be a question.
kicking shade thrown, peeling back eye lids that only want to go home, I see you.  and I hear you and I feel you
I smile outwardly to you because I don't need your pity, You see me as a happy, bubbly, and sparkling young woman. Did you ever realize that beyond my smile my eyes are filled with stories I'll never say with my lips?
You fell through the sky Hitting cement To break into a new dimension Where you can fly, And now your body And spirit exist In different planes. The chicken and the egg,
They lock you up They take pieces of you Inch by inch Try to force you Into silence Into willful captivity Caged birds cannot fly But they can still sing Do not let your song be silenced
I have a voice; Strong and loud. Can make people listen, People in the crowd. I know right from wrong; I'm not sitting in a cloud. I'll scream till you hear me; Scream really loud!
I look back at the few years in my life and I imagine what it would have been like to NOT have gone through what I did to become the person I am today. Mistreated. Abused.
Everyone Has Their Story, So Here's Mine...
I rather be called handsome than beautiful I rather be called he than she And i rather you say his than hers Not miss but sir you don't know how it feels How it feels to feel this hurt
The most coveted houses have cliffs off the back. Ocean cliffs. cliffs that are not just for jump -ing but that is what the rocks below are for. My state is shaped like a mammoth.
There are people under the steeple Who can’t keep their eyes off the peep-hole. Why are their minds so weak and feeble? It’s misunderstood, so deem it evil. Mr. Man sits in Congress so regal,
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