monster
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I am a monsterI have to be obeyed-beware of my wrath....Mark Toney © 2018.10/10/2018 - Poetry form: Haiku (for you)
A boy raped me
Told me it was my fault
Whose alter do I run to when he ran through me like a crosswalk
My defense
Senseless
Derivative of my fences
Barbedwire to make the top higher
When it comes to Doctor Frankenstein and I, people certainly don't admire us.When Frankenstein built me, he used my brain after I died from the Coronavirus.The angry villagers come after me with pitchforks and guns.
Tonight... I'll release the pain!
Tonight... I'll show you who I am!
A sight... I'm afraid to let you see!
A fright... A monster of a man!
I've been trying for so long to let them see,
Here I walk, alone,
Down a cobblestone road.
Here I walk, alone,
Left with my hollow thoughts.
Here I walk, alone,
Wondering what to do.
I can't go back home,
Not after what happened.
Down the rivers, waterfalls, lakes, streams, creeks
The waters should be wary of the company that comes close to its mud rich borders
Listen close, not to the woods that gives you its greetings
She lived in deep watersWhere someone once sleptHer breath ran out Waiting to be found"Life is short," she said.before her flesh fell into the ground She is in your gardenSoundly sleeping
The monster wanted love from the maidenAnd gold that the townspeople paid himWhen it came time to collectHim the maiden did rejectTo contain his wrath none could persuade him
.
.
All I hear is the blood pumping into my veinAn open cut, slit by my brainI don't scream outI deserve painI prefer myself this 5 years agoI was introduced To a monster in my own skin
I came downstairs crying one night
When I was a little girl
Because I was scared
That someone I love would die,
Would get sick and die,
The water gleams like valued crystals
Smells of sweet childhood
Their vulnerable forms watched over tirelessly
Protected by Mr. Kappa
I wish I would have made friends with the monster under my bed,instead of building a prejudice with the atrocities people had said.All the years I spent, running to my bed,
I felt a monster climb its way up my throat
Choking on tears, I watched my hands tremble
My breath shortened & I felt powerless
I dry gagged & finally heaved
"The monster won," I'd quote.
Stillit sits there, bones and all, grounded in the monotonous planecolor unyieldingPoised to begin, possessing the knowledge of the end.
The monster.
It always came back to me, haunting me.
My own mother cruel as she has always been
Pushed me closer to the monster.
Sitting at the edge of the warm, welcoming bed
Watch the shadows creep their way under to door.
Those fearful eyes, latching at their nonexistent movement
Monster, I used to love you
And you told me you loved me
You told me you loved learning about the stars
Fear
I know it,oh how I know it.
He keeps me up at night,I never rest not one bit.
I feel it in my brain
All rationality goes down the drain
I’m tired
OCD is a monster,he will not leave me alone
As a child I didn’t fear the monsters under my bed
I feared the monsters inside my head.
I still fear my own mind.
It bothers me all of the time.
In the dead of night I close my eyes
But cannot keep these thoughts outside
I hear it scratching at my door
And moaning from beneath the floor
It was the same scene time after time,
had me wishing i could fast forward or rewind
and make it all go away,
but I can't .... so it's all here to stay.
A new day was a new nightmare,
Fear…
A shadow in the closet
A growl beneath the bed.
Fear…
Anything unexplained
A brain beginning to snap.
Fear…
The weight of the waves relentlessly presses down
Crash after crash, no air left in my lungs
Petrified, no energy to lunge
No other hope but to drown
But even the air of the deep
there’s a darkness that dwells
under the sheets that i sleep in,
filling the void with an emptiness.
it reeks of burning ice and rotten dreams
and some nights it threatens to suffocate me.
There's a monster in my closet,
He tells me how I'll die,
He tells me when I'll go,
When I'll say goodbye,
Oh this monster in my closet,
Hears a tap on my window,
There's a crow waiting,
New friends and beautiful Allegheny sunshine
gave the impression things would get better.
Momma and I needed to do some healing and
wemade sure to make lots of new acquaintances
so we'd have "love" and "support".
I want to know why the sky is blueAnd why Death must come so soonWithout warning, life is dueBut not ever knowing why the sky is blue. I want to know where the willows lie--Why their hearts can never dieAnd Mother Earth will always denyWe're sea
Hair as black as night
so it blends in woth the smoke of her home villiage
Skin as white as snow
reflecting the moonlight like a mirror
Lips as red as blood
er-
red with blood
I've witnessed your suffering
Your deep pain unparalleled
Open yourself Love's flower
only to wither and die
I've heard your secrets bemoaned
Intimate and euphoric
Here envelopes you a cave
Dear Mama,
What makes a monster a monster?
Is it the piercing horns that protrude from each side of its head?
Or the fierce teeth that growl to deliver freight?
Between us, you and me, I fear your company.Your clouded breathing haunts meLike a chill in the skeleton tree.
I had become accustomed to the monstrous features beneath his surface -
The claws that grasped my hands;
The cold lips that touched mine;
The fire that burned in his eyes.
Because you're a monster
You try to tear me down
When I try to get back up
You take my joy
When I feel happy
You whisper things in my ear
When I was vulnerable
You destroyed my life
On a cold night,
a night like this,
where the moon’s light seems that of the sun,
the wind blows as if whispering a message to weary travellers,
Red eyes
Black hair
Tan scarred skin
It holds
The appearances
Of me,
But is it me?
I cannot be sure
Whether it is
Just a fear of mine
Or an actual part
Of me
My childhood ended at six years old.Nothing would ever again feel secure.My very bed was even tainted,Soiled by the skin of a towheaded creatureThe likes of which I’d never seen before.
My words were ugly, so I hid them.
They grew into a monster, and a world for it to live in.
I tried to tell my mom but she says its just a figment
I tried to tell my dad, but my dad says I'm just tripping
In my dreams, the nightmares of my mind,My subconscious torments me, Bringing me horror as I sleep.Making me debate whether sleep is friend or foe,
Inability to communicate
To Elaborate
To Speak
It is quite a terrible fate
One which should not be cursed
Even upon those that you hate
Yet here I was
Crying
I stopped looking for monsters under the bedWhen I came to see they lived in my headWhoever tells of a monster that hidesNever had one to abide besideOh, full of scorpions is my mind
How did she get him?
How did her get her?
Why do we have to be related
Live under what they call a roof
The monster under my bed doesn't bother me.I don't talk to him,He talks to me though,I usually ignore him,And he goes away.
Cold Frosted Bitter
Meaningless to you, no?
Because you're so Perfect Golden Saintly
But I'm a Monster Villain Outcast
There is someone inside my headIt is full of rage and carnage With claws as hard like leadMy mind just can't seem to manage It whis
Burning, always burning.
Desire, always yearning
Pain always stinging
Voices in my head singing
Am I
I am ADHD
I am Anxiety
I am Depression
I am the product of all
the hells I encounter.
There is a monster in them
I morph into the monster.
I become
ADHD
My mom said monsters were not under my bed,
Just in my head.
They aren't bad but I'd rather have some friends instead.
Growing up I saw monsters in school,
Monsters at work,
Monsters who were cool,
Angry villagers put the Munsters to death.I adopted their pet that has a fiery breath.He is a monster and his name is Spot.I thought I would like him but I do not.It was a mistake when I got him from the pound.
There is a monster inside of me,
A monster you may know.
And this monster that lives inside of me,
continues to grow.
This monster that lives inside of me
is always on the run,
The burning phosphorus
Meets with the lonely wick.
Another candle lit.
The warmth envelops my body.
Heat diminishes the cold.
I feel the passion.
But…at a cost.
Another monster has arisen
Everyone has a monster... that they hide behind their skin,Sitting and watching... just waiting in its den.Eventually the moment comes... for it to present itself,
remember when you told me about the monsters?
how they take over,
& get inside your head,
& they stay-
for a really long time.
they're only gone every once in a while,
I sit in a room
A dark and cold room
A lifeless,
colorless,
dank room
In the corner I sit
I sit and wait
I wait for hours
From days to week
I've gone through adequate measures to beat the monster that resides within me
This thing lay secreted beneath the surface of my skin
Readying to rupture out at any which moment
Addiction. Is an evil thing
He’s your friend but he’s also your foe
He holds out his hand waiting for you to jump
I’ve awoken in a crowded place
Too tired to even recognize a single face
How could something be so great,
I’m dying on the inside
And no one knows. My heart
Beating a useless tone,
My flaws laid out in front of me,
As if all things will end eventually.
Why do I bother?
No one can hear,
There is a moster that lives in my head
I keep him locked away in a cage
Or, at least, I try
Sometimes the bars are not strong enough
The monster breaks free and crawls into my thoughts
You are enough
You are enough
You are so enough,
You have no idea how enough YOU are.
You are the light in my darkness.
You are the happiness behind your mom's eyes.
Warming myself with the cold,
Doing things that I am told,
I love this feeling of numb,
A blind, deaf and dumb,
A comfortable nothing,
No bling,
No flash,
There’s a monster
In this room you ask
Is he bearing a mask?
No I reply
The monster doesn’t
Reside under your bed
The monster doesn’t
Taunt you at night
The monster doesn’t
A shadow appeared
The fatal apparition
In my dream
A corrupted echo
Her hands were steady
Calm and ready
For night’s return
The monster inside me is winning. I tried to hold it off for so long. My strength is winding down. This battle is won. I am messing with love. You love her, and I cannot control that.
Helen Fisher says it is not an emotion.
It is a need,
It is a hunger,
It is air.
And yet so pathetic it seems,
That such a sore which cannot be seen,
Can possibly still be there.
Under the blankets of my bed
I awake.
Even if my mind feels dead
It's not.
It runs from the boogie creature:
A killer.
But even in my dreams I still seek her
(Seek me).
Ragin monstersswarm from the deepto devour,murder.They must be vanquished.
The pretty dronesraise their perfectheads to laughat me.I don’t like them.
There's a monster.
It doesn't live under my bed,
Or make the floorboards creak at night.
It doesn't tap at the window,
Or make eerie sounds.
It doesn't cast shadows on the wall,
Or grope at my throat.
She wasn't good enough for you then
so youre not good enough for her now
need me to explain?
she used to be so happy
so sweet
so caring
until you pushed her away
and broke her down
humans are selfish
all to the core
whether they show it
matters not one bit at all
sure some care
but they're a bore
humans can dis
if they dare
always seeking more
Turn. Look my way.
“Oh what an angel!” she exclaims
And how wonderful it is
That our paths have crossed today.
I quickly entice her
With my sweet voice wobbling delicately.
Being skinny my whole life, I’ve gotten a lot of:
“How lucky are you.
You never gain any weight,
You can eat anything you want.
You’re so lucky,
I wish I was you”
I am so lucky.
"This is a very intense poem that is true, and it is very sad and painful going through this.
I thought I had forgotton
Now I'm told to forgive
Will I ever be able to live
To be able to look a dream in the face
To be able to face you and not hate
I imagine your face and look to see
Who you are?
Close to my head a monster lurks. Although she seems tranquil, her sounds
I fear.
She's dangerous, but delicate. There's a music to her roar, a gentleness.
You tear apart your family,
You make me want to die,
You can't accept the unplanned,
You're the main reason I cry;
Why do you do these things?
I may never know,
But I wish I could pour sense into you,
I'm twisted in the head.
Something close to brain dead.
Pretty much summed it up to all the things that he's said.
The voices in my head won't shut up and won't be quiet.
I noticed something different as I walked down the hall today. It was strange, almost a monster, and it stared straight back at me.
they wear masks with unsettling cheshire grins
gleaming under the lights which betrays a plastic perfection
dressed as something they are not, it is no longer a sport
Whats the point,
Why should I try
To avoid every urge,
Why should I not
Pick up the blade-
Letting it slowly slice
The skin that lay beneath it.
The wound beginning to bleed-
you've got a thirst
for fragile fallen fawns
the apathy in your eyes
speaks numbers in itself;
lucid monstrosity
(c.z.)
say something -
anything...
let me know that i am still human
that you don't hate me
let me know that you realize i have feelings just like you
smile at me -
a genuine one
I scream behind my closed door, but they can't hear me.
The words don't ever actually escape my lips, because I'm afraid of what I might say.
My mind is the one screaming, it just wants to be free.
There was something dark,
Something dreadful,
Lurking through the halls.
- a spirit!-
Malicious with disturbing desires,
Like a shadow, it followed
From room to room.
Such a monstrous creature
War is a terrible monster,
it devours everything in its path,
and leaves only destruction and ruin behind.
War is like a spider,
it waits for countries to become ensnared
A beast.
I was strong, fast, unbeatable,
Red eyes, hot breath,
Power flowing like blood.
You were my pet,
Your only purpose was to make me
Happy.
And when you failed
We are seen by the privileged
Those young and naive
The beings that cower
For they see us as thieves
Though don’t be miss lead
We come not from below
But neither do we
How it looks, how it is prepared, how it smells is why we eat it
Crumbs may fall and we scrap our plates bit by bit
Its hits our mouth and our taste buds are in love
Something this good is totally undreamed of
It creeps up on me
Slowly and surely
I feel it grasping thee
Around my heart the feelings curly
Closing in I can't think
Everything spins I can't see
I was doing so well I hit a kink
When it senses my essence
feel the cold presence
Shiver from the sent chills down my spine
it slowly invades my mind
Silently scream within this dream
life fades away it seems
Wish I wasn't here
I am a monster.
A menace to all who know me.
I am viewed not only as a danger to others but also to myself.
I am selfish and selfless.
Evil and protective.
I am passionate and cold.
She ran from the bus after school to meet you,
to have you pick her up and spin around.
Her giggles infected you and you finally set her down.
There has been a monster in the mirror
Her stormy gray eyes
Flicker with fright
Yellow chipped teeth
Hide behind paper thin lips
Ghost like skin
With veins so blue
Wrapped around a frame
Love him?
No, I didn’t love him.
Sure,
I thought I did for a while there,
But I was wrong.
That wasn’t love.
Looking back now, years later, I see my mistake
How could I love someone like him?
Have you ever had something just catch you?
Right when you were off guard.
That little, spontaneous, thing.
That makes everything that made you so weak
So fragile
So lost
One plus one plus one plus one. It’s endless. Separate components come together. Pink yellow green orange. Around and around and around. Never stops. Like a ballerina. Infinite. Until the giant monster ends the color war.
Everything was ok.
In truth,
a monster captured,
my mind.
I was a ghost,
lost in cruelty.
Not knowing,
I drifted among seas of lies.
There is a monster that inhabits the Earth.
It started out alone but began to multiply.
It is not gruesome in appearance
But seems to inhabit a different shape with each multiplication.
You try to escape, try to run,
It doesn’t matter, try to hide,
You can’t get away, try to scream,
From the monster inside
a little girl being beaten by her father
a little girl being molested by her father's friend
same child looking for love became the little girl lost
she exposes herself only to be riducule by group of guys
Hopes and dreams crash like a meteor falling
The outcome is inevitable, so why are you stalling?
You knew what would happen; who would win
How could anyone love you? You’ve committed too many a sin.
All the talent in the world won’t save you if you are ugly!
You try to have confidence
But the moment you stand, you are beaten!
You aren’t loved!
You aren’t worthy!
