sick
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Trauma layer cakeCrack your teeth and give you A stomachacheBefore your shift at the Holiday InnBeading customer complaints out your skin
The earth she has a fever
And a nasty cough and sneeze
The fear of every planet
A human-like disease
They spread across her surface
Removing all her trees
Polluting their own oxygen
It began with wings,
leathery skin of a night dweller.
Hiding in plain sight under the veil of darkness.
It could not live nor die, it only was.
Coated in toxicity and bathed in the very blood that worshiped it.
Learned the word humble long after the meaning was lost.
Just another product of tax payer exhaustion.
It hurts when referred to as perfect by the person that hurt you the most.
But ima keep it humble
Learned the word humble long after the meaning was lost.
Just another product of tax payer exhaustion.
It hurts when referred to as perfect by the person that hurt you the most.
But ima keep it humble
The familiar scratching at the inner linings of your throat like a cat scratching at the walls, screaming to be let out. The sensation of your airways closing like that time when a man you did not know choked you for reasons you did not know.
I run when I'm scared
I run when I laugh
I run through my hair
I run from a graph
I run through time
I run and I'm close
Who am I?
But a demon in the deep.
I might not be like you,
But I still need air to breathe.
Is it you who will drown me?
You who force me down?
I fight, not for a victory,
There are things that mentally ill is, and there are things it most definitely is not.
Something it’s not is when middle school boys post bart simpson edits to songs by X.
Crying alone in the dark
Every night it is the same
I’m too sick to make friends
And way Too tired to smile
Let me tell you of the week I grew up.
No, not physically but mentally and emotionally.
The physical age does not matter;
what matters is that the week before I loved candy.
I lost years of my life to a box with no air,
To the simulated felatio, the thought of company that wasn't there.
Wrap your fate around your finger and give way,
We'll find our way out of here someday.
Anxiety stirs my stomach like a lost ship at sea.
I have no control
which way the wind is blowing.
I'm alone.
You were mean it was kind.
Today we formally say goodbye.
It seems like all I do.
Today I'm sick and snotty,
Scared.
I always knew my aunt was a fighter
Since she was a little girl she had been fighting for her life, suffering in health, but exceeding in everything else
I have lost weight since I was in fifth grade
and I know this because I have tracked my weight,
watching it go up and down,
like a child on a Carousel.
I am only a freshman in High School,
I wonder if you know that I love you
With all of my broken, twisted love,
With all of the love you threw back at me,
And all the indifference you used to drown me.
I fight the love you give me;
Different but similar, in distinct scenes
Interpretations of that which is “eternal”
Some of the bounded in settings infernal,
Variations seen
In the beginning, man created ideas
I hear them whisper just outside my door.
They say I am not likely to last another day.
I know this all too well. My fate, I have accepted.
I'm talking about the metaphorical kind
(but not really).
You can die from stress.
My teacher once told me
if you got sick enough
your brain melts and you drown.
To put it bluntly,
Face to face with my reflection
In your toilet bowl again.
I love you so much that the thrill
Of your skin and your touch makes me ill,
And the contents of inside must spill
To make room for how much I feel.
Flowers made for war.
A bullet for my sweetheart.
I do kind things,
These wonderful sweet things,
But I want to see you bleed.
Arousal from your torment,
And a smile for your pain.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get so sick! When I was young, I had no idea, I would be sick, all I knew, is I wanted to be playing SUE and BETTY With my sister LOL the grown-up game, when I was nine.
The wheel of the year started with me in the sleeping death that is ashen winter snow.
Everything that had been there had burned away; only charred remnants were left in the dead sea of what was.
As much as I wish I could be UNstoppable
There’s no way that could ever happen
Because my immune system is my obstacle
You want me to have perfect attendance?
I am beyond tired of people
Shaming the mentally ill.
This day in which we live
Tells us that if we are sad
Than it is not as bad as we think.
That we need to pull up our pants
and grow up
”im not hungry” , says the stomachthe stretch of the esophagus is in yoga practice with my stomach lininginstead of dining there is immense thirstoften for fine winewhich feels like kisses past my tonsils
Stomach shriveled
Legs weak
Loss of appetite
Loss of sleep
Constantly freezing
Constantly stressed
Why oh why am I so depressed?
Hunger is gnawing
I'm feeling so faint
Through tears,
Through the months,
Through the pain,
I wait.
Many feel sorry,
Many stare,
Many judge,
But they don't get me.
Pain is a hurdle,
Pain is a challenge,
Forced, terrrified, pain, lonely, hurting.
Forced to deal with the truth of a sheltered life.
Terrifed of what came next.
Pain for what what was, what could have been, for him, for his future wife.
Just come around,
So that I can be found.
You can't always cope,
But you will always find hope.
In sickness and death,
Every second could be his last breath.
You don't know how much it hurt
When you came home collapsing.
Words slurred together into a sentence,
At least that's what I think it was.
You stumbled like a baby taking its first steps,
The acids in my stomach threaten to erupt out of me when I think of him
with someone else.
I see the color of the sky at dusk and think of him.
I think of how overly confident he is with himself,
Sometimes the hardest thing is not being sick.
Watching the world drag by from a second story window,
too far away for anyone to notice, too separated for anyone to care.
I press my forehead against your cheek,A hypochondriac child desperately pleas with fear,“Am I sick? Am I sick?”
I think the way the trees kiss the same wind
that knocks them off their roots is
as fascinating as
the woman who says goodbye to her lover
hopeful that he won't fall into the arms of another
Being sick to me, iswaking up due to that small subtle crease in the bed causing
what does one write
when ones mind is white,
when the screen is blank
and the words aren't right?
what can one say
at the end of the day
when the scars fade metallic
Your tongue was too bitter for my senses
So I attached my lips to the hollows of your hipbones instead
And counted the number of breaths you took in the
spaces you once filled with "I love you"'s,
One lip slaps against the other
expelling a wet and horrid sound.
Digesting food waging battle with the tongue.
It’s all on display for the world to see!
Sea food is not meant to be seen
I wish I could hug you, look you in the eyes, tell you that everything will be okay; that I will take care of everything when you're gone. But I can't.
Three months early
Twins born too small
Doctors wondered
If they'd even live at all
Months went by
From the hospital we were released
The older sister first
I have always felt sick, wounded, and worn.
I have been sick since the day that I was born.
My body became my own worst enemy
Constantly working so hard to kill me,
I’m not bullied,not me.I never have been,and I probably won’t be.But I’m sickand I’m tiredof watching these people laugh at other people.
are apples acidic
or is it just me
are they basic
why cant i let this be
my throat burns
cant even take a sip
whats wrong with me
am i sick
no that cant be
Chills
Reaching deep within my soul they breed
Multiplying, festering
Unable to stop them, unable to take control
I retreat, trying to preserve the little sanity left
Recently I met a friend
Ana was her name
She introduced me to another, mia,
The two, almost the same.
They told me of the perfect girl
Put pictures in my head
Sarah
She was born into an orphanage
Her reading disability is awful
Her emotionally traumatized brain can't help it
Her life spent without being wanted
Justin
Wishes he didn't have parents.
There's snot in my nose
And a pounding in my head.
I don't wanna be at school.
I'd much rather be in BED.
Teacher, quit your talking,
guys, just please shut up!
I want my fuzzy blanket,
If her body temp's over one hundred degrees,
she can stay home from class, get out of jail free.
Got her wisdom teeth out? She'll pop some pills,
she has an excuse, and no one doubts she's ill
No
I wont fall into those traps
Go away
I know I can function just like everybody else
Stop it
I will get over this myself
Let go
I can fight this
Quit pulling
Run in circles like a mouse in a trap.
Squeak, squeak: "I’m a victim. Everyone else is a cat
Playing with the end of my tail. "
Only the strongest shall avail.
It courses through the viens
thick as molases, hot as fire.
Quickley spreading like fast moving trains,
it brings on that unwanted desire.
Clouds roll in,
bringing that unimaginable din,
The sun went down,
but I'm still here.
There's still a tube inside me.
My dinner tray is in the sink.
The whiteboard says my name.
The thermostat reads "55"--
that's something
I wrote this poem for you,
and i supose it will be the last one I'll ever do.
I know I have to let you go,
but i just want you to know.
That you'll akways be in my heart.
Just like from the very start.
Why are you crying?
I'm still here,
I'm still alive,
Still panting,
Still loving.
Do you remember?
When I could swim?
When I could jump?
When I could run?
Dreams fade
Goals aid
It's the cold brigade
The heart played
Hands swayed
And hair frayed
Dreams delayed
Goals persuade
Each morning, the white sun rises over Jasper Street.
It peeks over the maple trees,
it hides from cloud to cloud,
Waking up to a cacophony of noise,
I arose to a familiar place.
A place so much like home but still far from it.
It was small, too small for four
Maybe five for a time.
What has this world come to? People too involved with themselves or should I say vain ... over consumed
Using others just to get by or too pretentious to just be themselves, flaws and all ... and not hide
Something isn't right,
this feeling I feel.
I see no sight,
but this is real.
This insane pain,
is something I can't handle.
I hide away in shame,
Have you ever felt lonely?
The only being made fun of or looked at in a classroom?
Well welcome to reality that`s what lifes about
My life as Chanaya
Standing at the door with tears to the floor
Memories of Lou come rushing some more
Once on a sunny day a little lost soul came my way
With love and care I earned his trust
and soon he was apart of us
In a world full of pain and fear she finds peace
In a world full of darkness and cold she finds light and warmth
In a world full of despair she finds faith
She knows not of the life outside this dark room
My family brought me home cradled in their arms.They cuddled me and smiled at me and said I was full of charm.They played with me and laughed with me and showered me with toys.
When ones so close to death
You didn't even notice you took your last breath
Your still alive
and yet there's so much hope
We all pray here
Left with cope
Your still young you've got so much left to see
Sugar’s eyes are like a vivid love story.
Sugar’s heart is like a forever rhyme.
Even though life was full of woe and worry,
Those memories will survive even time.
Alone, not wanted by anyone
Feelings of love no longer entwine my heart.
I am on the brink of chaos, destruction, hopelessness.
Darkness swirls around me
Clouding my hopes, my dreams.
The prisoners treated life as game
Yet, surprised to be locked in rusty cells
There's nobody except themselves to blame
Harshly punished if anyone rebels
One quick fix
Will fill the cell
Yet who in this
Will become well?
A man is sick
His brain is blind
A lobotomy will clear his mind.
A night in the park
A house, a house
Intimidation
Trepidation
My child, my child
Innocent victim
Silent victim
Dry tears
Hopelessness looms
Eyes closed
Eyes open
Bliss
We fight and we fuss,
But in me you must trust!
Because you are the one I LOVE?
These are all lies a man will use to get what he wants.
Very sickening thoughts!
DON'T fall for the things he has bought!
My eyes are inflamed from what feels like bloody tears,
Nobody can shoo away my fears,
My face looked unscathed before
but now revealing scorched stains, wet and sore.
I am the dog that pulls the mandrake,
a choice that isn't mine.
A worm upon His hook;
freedom only comes with time.
Only one answer.
Why so much killing, from north to south, from east to west?
Why so much pain that no one should endure?
Why so much sadness, we cry ourselves to sleep?
Their here, their there, their everywhere
You may not see them, but their everywhere
They need your help, though many turn their heads
If I could I would help every single person
Need somewhere to go
Don't have anyone around
Praying someone's searching
Hoping you'll be found
Heart in chains
Ain’t got no brains
Since we was a fetus
We’ve wondered who would lead us
