Redemption

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There’s something familiar im experiencing here. Four letters, seven billion definitions. What I once thought was love turned out to be fear. It turned out to be rage.
What have you lost? What have I lost? A sin we sentence ourselves to Losing someone we love Someone we would never lose
To belong,  To be loved, To be heard,  Each desire fights.   Human, Self, Me,  I.   Unpure, Unworthy, Rejected, Cast aside.   Tears drop,
The haze Thats how it starts Blurry days She doesn’t know how to part The bottle in her hand is her savior She cant take back the memories of fear She couldn’t control her behavior
It was Friday night, The clouds were encroaching on the skies above Terror filling the lands below Darkness invading the Earth around us
There are stained glass windows illuminated by winter memories purged The dust dancing on sun colored air
Words They drip from my fingers like sap from a broken tree I think them and they pour, especially in high weather The weather that comes from tumultuous times.
Dearest Amanda,   In our darkest hour my mind replays, a memory:   My eyes are pulled to where the road seems to bend, where the trees are not green, where the long river ends.
And the scars from the blade that remain on the wrists of an elderly Mrs. Strange have faded... She smiles knowingly as if reading my thoughts The distactions of  youth abated... The eyes alone tell the tale.
Awkward man, awkward manners. Awkward man gets on the Internet. Awkward man conversates with fans of a show. Awkward man is a fan of a show, A show involving animated and colorful ponies.
What good is it to first love you When love was never dealt? Why should I seek to put you first If the same has not been felt?   But who am I to make that call, And desire to receive,
You still smell the same Japanese Cherry Blossom In my arms again  
Believed in you like a religion But too bad people change every season Did things for you, some hasn't even been mentioned.And held you down, to now from the beginning.Dreaming about mansions and cooking breakfast in the kitchen. No one was for yo
Ashes to ashes and dust to dust Into the void now you must Ever so quiet Ever at peace Into the glorious light you seek
When destinies collide and shatter the planet into a million pieces,   When doubting attacks like a cloud of suffocating hornets stinging like hell,   When love seems to die
My little ice statue.Shaped like me,Can you see?When she wiggles and dances the fractures are there,Thin lines and shattered chunks made from dispair,As she moves, she breaks, but continues to dance.
No Pain Is Wasted  My spirit was beckoned.  A savior called to me   his sweet voice said, "listen"  and I held my breath, hanging on his coming words. He came to me. He said I could be reconciled
Dirt and shame were my middle names Only saw brown in the reflection Couldn’t stop the streams from falling A broken heart all I felt
Quickly fell I down the pit of despair But at the bottom, I saw a light. At the end of this tunnel of storms, as I found, The new day brought peace and delight.   Why at first did it seem like a pit?
Had I known that I would't make it around the corner, I would have stopped. I would have held that strap close, Like it was my best friend, Like it could protect my fragile ears
Listen on SoundCloud: soundcloud{.com}/jake-gillespie-6/god-bless-the-pen/s-q80Qg (remove the {} around the dot-com)  
My gears were slowing their spin My battery was running low Cobbwebs started to grow on my heart A heart that had trouble beating I was Shutting down Then you came by
She always kept to herself She stood in her head Not once did she ever think about  Letting anyone else in Until he came around  He held out a hand She had never seen such a gesture 
It’s funny to think of yourself in pieces When the shatter has since become a distant memory
The golden trees and the silver star beckon beyond the realm of understanding, And make real the redemption of the uncertain heart.
I have been broken and I have broken other people. I have left scars on myself  and scars on others. I have felt everything at once and nothing at all. I have wished to enjoy a moment forever
I touched my neck and I realized I forgot how it felt to be bound locked in chains even in my mind I stopped the pain I'm not the same I made an exchange a heavy yoke for a prayer life
  Alone in a dark room nothing to come home to she's trying to figure out why   Her light rises with the sun then sets when the day's done no matter how hard she'll try  
Caught Redeemed Redemption Caught                Redeemed                      Redemption Caught in a web of lies.                                            Redemption Denied.
Rise   What is it like to stand alone? Isolated, deserted?
Through Him, a story about my King.   Through Him. Through Him I was given life. Not just now or since then, but forever. Through Him I've been given hope, love, joy.
What color is perfection? That elusive transcendence from reality That which demands unnecessary change I see you, and you are transparent.   I am flesh and bone I bleed when I am cut open
they looking at me like he never gonna make it gave me a barrier I'm destined to break it I'll take it give me the good with the bad i had worse they say he not all the way there well at first
Close your
I prayed for the patience to wait for you and finally here you stand
The losses we feel They overwhelm our very minds They take our hopes and emotions Dash them on the stones of reality And laugh.   They laugh at our loss.
Will I find Salvation Once I find Redemption  
She stands looking in the mirror and what does she see ? what she appears to be  a young woman of faith  filled with promises from above Her flaws run deep  yet she is washed clean
Walked in shattered, Plastered to pew,  shadow black, back row 3 to the right, Looking for immunity in community, Only to find more scrutiny, Black sheep, Cracked heart,
To be honest, I am wrongest, When I pretend to perfection. I shouldn't say "I'm quite okay." When it's not true anyway. I'd like to be To ev'rybody The person who I ought to be.
d the ability to get a glance at the figure of the physique under the black veil I've cast upon myself, I applaud.
i’ve been counting all the bones
This is for everyone
A dark cloud has settled, Obscuring the illumination of the future, A tragedy in the mind of the one inflicted, Confusion in what she’s been granted.   Memories distorted, Imagination guarded,
I am different. At times, even belligerent
I know I’m unwanted, Yet I still try To find the one Whom would die For me and make me feel
The print has faded From the movie ticket of our first date, Just as our love has done.   I still think about you
Broken Wings  
I write to remind myself that the sun always comes after the night.   My soul bears the teeth-marks of Guilt and Shame. And in sleepless nights wonders how I got the name
My mothers, my maidens, my crones, 
The day after the rainstorm The most peaceful day of all The raindrops still lay upon the grass But the sun has come to greet his admirers   The day after the rainstorm 
The Animal inside has changed Grown timid from the drugs The light bearer gives once
My skin crawls I sink from the inside out Like bricks fill my lungs There is peace in my fingernails There's escape in sleep   My thoughts hide behind my brain And tie my tongue
My mind is exhausted, but I choose not to sleep. I just keep repeating words in my head, knowing I'm indebted to a man with nail-pierced hands And my time-span is spread-thin
Society seems in a mess Mothers cry, while Fathers stress to be polite is a disgrace as children mock you to your face   drugs and sex aren't hard to find it seems as if the worlds gone blind
T’was not at once mine own love with her fell
We got,  Peace like Joseph, Faith like Abraham, I hope you're ready for Redemption  cuz we goin' ham, Leadership like Moses, You know it's God who chose us, He's done made a way,
She was a flower, She held herself high, Strong, White and filled with innocence. But someone came along, He took away the flower's sunlight, He uprooted the flower, Put her in a dark corner.
I can’t believe it’s already been a year. Making it this far has always been my biggest fear. I didn’t think I could do it, But I improved bit by bit.
These obstacles and my pain
Your out of line And God said to get out of line.   Are you too blind? You are no longer bound Bound by material things!   Yet tears come to your eyes, Cause your soul is dyed.
In the end, life is not about the suffering I’ve faced, It’s not about the times I held my tongue and suppressed a scream when darkness stole my innocence.
  Stuck in this room like it's a jail.Trapped like prisoners My hands are tied grasping the rail. We aren't petitioners.  "Sometimes I always ask myself why.Was it after all worth it?
I am numb My arm is a mess There is so much pain The cuts are stained with blood Each cut represents something It's a hidden meaning That people don't understand They just see me Broken
 Morning comes and sunlight shatters her placid sleep. Six years old, and she dreads the dawn to awake in the family where she’s told she doesn’t belong. The cold morning air bites
Subconsciously I feel like I'm being wrapped in my own blanket, being protected by my own mind. Something about the darkness of a room gives me chills, I love not knowing what's on the other side.
The mask I wear. The whispered dreams at night. The long scars and small tears. The shadow hidden and out of sight. What I am on the outside, middle, inside, Which one is real, which do I hide?
I search for you. Stumbling, crawling, in the unforgiving dark, With no map, no light to guide me home, I am simply a fool refusing to admit she’s alone, Eventually I stop and just sit,
I used to believe in 11:11 wishes,  Used to dream of midnight kisses,  I believed in these things and much more,  But all that was in a time long, long, before,  Before the boy ripped at my chest, 
The wrinkles under his eyes spell experience and trust as his overworked lips form the words let yourself be raw but even then i paint.  I paint over the bruise on my cheek
 I want to sleep...I really do. He's calling just beyond the avenue. Tight curb, love in the low life suburbs. Patiently waiting for me.Sich schminken to hide a brutally gentle tide.
She waits on the street corner, Looking like a foreigner. Tears rush down her dolled up face As she awaits in her place. Boys from everywhere like dust Beginning to feed their lust.
The still water ripples out Air rushes against my frigid face So still, the water, so calm. So unlike the flight symptoms of running; Pulsating through my veins. The story of my life.
Words swirl around in the mind, bringing meaning to an otherwise dreaded and foreboding existence. Words on paper or on screen keep the dark at bay for me. All that's needed is a pen
He spoke with silence, the smokers lived there Back in black alleys with blacker, burnt air   But he was trapped his chords rotten red with his huffs and his puffs, he left his voice dead
All their voices tell me I fell, Tripped myself while wading in mud. My heart only craved to be known. For agonizing lengths of time I'll have to endure The piece of me that is alone.  
Sweat pours down bodies in streams, Blood is caked between the toes of feet, Of the men chosen for honor redeemed.   Swords doused in red ink, Shields reflecting the suns gleam, Cry out your call,
Feeling ashamed of what i have become Not wanting to look back to my past running away from the only light there is stuck in darkness and not wanting to get out finding a savior is my only option
Cold hands of Death, Holds my Fading breath. Time flies by in my short little life, Alas! There was a many endless strives.   Hard and harsh was my path, Now my time has come at last.
Web
I met a black widow, weeping crimson tears from 8 wrists who spun sorrow into silk
  Life is hard, it is a battlefield. I’ve had cannons balls thrown at me, but I kept going wanting to make my family proud
Gun in his hand with his face to sky / Ashamed of himself, he started to cry / Freak, Homo, Loser, Gay / Venom-dripped insults everyday / Nobody knows what he's feeling at night / The pain he goes through, the internal fight / Pulled the trigger,
(poems go here) Life’s bumpy roads and harsh realities Are what brought me to the refuge of poetry. A world where you have little money, Where the lady on the news talks about a new murder every night
My body is weak, my mind is strong determination will peak at the highest throng Pushing and weaving through the crowd praying someone will be kind but everyone is loud with an unsound mind
How quickly I must die I must let go of my life. I see all down eternity I must let go of me. What do I have to hold onto here? Is there somehing more I could hold dear? I must let go of me.
There she is, thy majestic siren whose allowing gaze drags the sea man forth. To thee does he fall in unparallel emotion, the heart that reeks of putrefied lust. A beautiful creature but no less powerful than the devil himself.
Lost and beginning to be blind to the world before me. I was separated from my mother at the age of fourteen. You never know that someone else’s happiness can turn into your most common pain.
Skeletons in my closet Sticks and stones may break my bones but skeletons will always constrain me to be insecure, pierce into what's pure. Mind effed me into a nose bleeding positioned Pursue the lure of a stench,
Fall to the floor on my knees metaphorically I might disrespect someone But I ask this rhetorically: What can you do when you realize you need help because you’re too weak to do anything yourself?
Jesus is my hero, My hope, My Heavenly Father. Jesus is my love, My life, My Living Water. Jesus is my passion, My patience, My Prince of Peace.
Here is my question, here is my thought Do know my mind, the intricacies of my heart? Do You see me even in the dark, when I feel so alone? Do You see the wicked thoughts in my head, when I let my mind roam?
Vanilla cream curdles in blackberry tea; I didn't know. Dish soap suds, scented With childhood and artificial lemon, Sting my hands, Chapped, graceless. I shaved a sliver from my thumb with a paring knife
You are there for me when I am crying, And in you I console. You support me in my time of need, When I require reassurance. You comfort me in my tragedies, When I can’t find another friend.
I didn’t believe in omens until that stumbling alcoholic of a curb outside of the Epoch coffee shop struck its drunk ‘screw you’ into Gus, my white Kia Spectra’s bumper on that apparently fateful
Thought I could make it without you Thought I would be ok Going at it alone Started my journey out into the world But things got hard With no friends or family by my side I broke down
'dip shits love God'
(poems go here) she said I love you to him and kissed the cheek of another she gave her soul to him but promised her body to the other
I could not imagine life without you; Though I never see you, I know your still there. In my heart I can feel you, My soul aches for your loving care.
You, have taken everything from me, you, have chosen to cross the line, you, think that I don’t anything about you, but you’re wrong.
AFRICAN MUSIC CAME TO AMERICAN IN SOME MEAN WORDS. THE SOCIETIES FROM WHICH THEY HAVE BEEN TORN WERE NOT BASED OF THE WORD. THE HISTORY AND THE RELIGIOUS. THERE ARE CODED IN MY LANGUAGE OF DIFFERENT SPIRITUALS SECRETLY COMMUNICATE.
He started as a friend, But wasn’t in the end. He played his part so well, How hard it was to tell, Of how he did deceive, I wished that he would leave. Freedom did I seek, Though I was so weak...
This world gives me a feeling of starkness So many places growing with darkness Setting that place on fire Cause Lord need for you is dire It's so dark they're becoming blind
I was once lost, Unnoticed in the crowd, Never knew who I was, But now I am found. I was floating through the days Wondering where I would go, My soul was in a haze But you brought me home.
pain and fear of rejection cloud my hear and my mind. What do i do? what do i say? how do i tell you i love you?
He holds my heart within his hands Bending, Molding, all to plan Sometimes it hurts, but he always works. The black is now out of my heart, leaving a hole for a new start I feel all empty, sad and alone
Pages of glossy white paper A single canvas onto which I am supposed to magically fit Four years of heartache and laughter, Love and friendships On to shiny pages
I picked up my pen today; It felt good to let the stress flow With every stroke and line finished, I began to breathe easier Many young teens now smoke, cut or drink but I will write and pray
Your love for me is everlasting, second chances only you are casting Seeking for love all I got was lust, as time past my heart will rust Despite my past you are still grasping, unto me while I was still dancing
My brothers, my sisters, And my friends I call misters. Do we only fight, just to be right? Being right is overrated, But doing right was what I was born and raised in.
With a new school year, a new start, but friends depart. And we’ve led our whole lives together, but suddenly we’re taking different paths from each other.
A book of an aunt Who no longer is here Turn the pages Listen Do you hear them cry? Torn and worn down but still prized most This book that is broken It tells a tale of sleeping beauty and her prince
There is something inside of each of our souls- this desire for the things that will destroy us. We crave to behave in ways that leave scars.
Sometimes I let my soul become like a desert land, building up on every side castles made with sand. I try to hide behind these walls of bitterness and shame, selfishness and hurt and pride grow like a hungry flame.
Do you ever wonder, Dear, When you see the children here, Why you never joined their play? Why you never saw the day? Why the golden sun above Never touched your cheek, my Love?
Her daddy walks her down To her prince charming Family and friends smile At her in this perfect moment with the sun setting
here i am, little ol' me, underneath Your galaxy. there You are, up above, smiling down on me with love. Lord i love you, by and by. You are my love, my firefly. i wish to feel you, next to me. holding hands, silently.
My friend(s) you're beautiful, No matter what you've done, Take it easy now, From the hard lesson that you've run,
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