Selfharm

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The one person I didn't want to know knows But no one knows it all They know of my depression But they do not know of the marks spanning down my arms and thighs They know I am struggling
How easy it is to fashion the blade The one that drains ichor from the veins One manual screwdriver One small clump of poster putty One small piece of paper One razor All to make one blade
I've come to fear the hours of 7 to 9, as they bring with them gray and mournful moments. They bring longing and foggy loneliness from outside, most days.  
Cloth can’t cover enough, Eventually all will be exposed. You try to sneak by, “Don’t let them see you cry.”   The blood has a calming effect,
I slid to the floor of this solitary place, surrounded by hastily scribbled memos on monochrome sheets of paper. and cannot find a singular one addressed to my former self;
A thought. A fear. It wasn’t clear -A want. A hurt. Which came first -A think. A do. Was it you -A cry. A plea. Was it me -A face. A name. Am I to blame? -A hearse. A hole. I won’t extol -
Blank. I've always loathed blank paper. Each piece gets a fresh start. But I can't. My body was like a blank canvas, the artist was depression, the brush was  the blade, the paint was the blood.
How am I still alive? Thought of death more than a million times You ask if I’m alright I reply with “yes, I’m fine.” But it's always a lie
I am only two years, seven months older two x’s don’t bother me now and they came round    this summer, remain adamant  name is going to be Aaron, one who is a mountain of strength 
The stoplight stands red for awhile She suddenly awakens to blood surrounding her body She grabs the blade and goes deeper and deeper She goes so deep that eventually  she will drown
They always say If you having nothing nice to say then say nothing at all For why the scars are there My tears are the words that never left my mouth My scars scream for me
 <h1>SCATTERED      ASHES</h1> <ins> <p>I am from a family where bubbles exist</p> <p>From a broken home and a messed up wish</p> <p>I am from a crippled yet standing still keeping secrets injured an
a bad day, a bad friend, betrayal, hurt I gave you the worst of my life, yet you took it onto your skin You were patient as I tried and failed to express my sorrow on your artificial pages
Pen scratching gainst the page words whipping in her mind letters bleeding into the page as a way to be safe instead skin full of old scars tears dried up in her eyes instead of inflicting pain
She’s a deceiver,  two-faced: lying-on-the-double and she likes it that way. 
So many lines. So many, Different kinds of pain that write themselves Under different names: Necessity, shame, another I can’t explain. And still more, more still and, Is this some kind of game?
It started off as an escape An honest distraction, Just to reshape The always-constant never-ending never-ceasing never-stopping Reaction in my body tensing-up-ing heart-a-pounding hard-to-breathe-ing
Mom
Dear mom, 
Little Sister,   Please, baby sister Stop tearing at your body. Your heart Your soul Is crying, Baby sister You will never find purpose in the clouds of smoke
I've been patiently waiting for you to notice me like a girl standing in the corner at a party just waiting to be danced with. But you never notice me.And every time I try to give you a compliment you always seem to get mad at me.I'm sorry if I al
Fight it, Come on, Fight it, I'm better than this,   Softly addictions whisper to me, Late at night when I'm all alone, But I'm tired of giving in, I'm tired of abusing myself,
On this night I'm in fright, Yet the darkness is at bay, For the shadows are lifted by moonlight. Normally hidden by the day,   But now on the move, I shall follow,
Death is knocking at my door  again tonight I’m trying so hard to slam the door in his face But each day it gets a little harder He’s been persistent comin round every night
Wish to cut deep into my skin, Past the bones and intestines, To my inner layer of blood and marrow To take away my pain tomorrow Wish to drown inside the water Were even sound does not bother
Once Upon a Poem: a backlit town the story place a girl with shame upon her face   lost from her journey off sunlight roads the daughter hid to bear her load
Once Upon a time, there was a princess, warm and beautiful, and loved by all. Once Upon a time, she laughed joyously, her heart flowing with joy, and her smile gleaming.
Little butterfly open up your wings and set yourself free. Go far away from here and don't cut your paper wings. 
how do you convincea kid who feels liketheir whole life is a waste not to killthemself?convince the kid that thinksthat their not going to be anything to stop cutting?how can you stop 
I love you. I know I've said this about 1,000 times, but I want you to always remember that. There's so much embedded in those three words when I say them to you. I don't think you realize the weight of them.
Sitting in class with my Victoria Secret perfume of Temptation and in my new letterman jacket. I’m on the honor roll, valen victorian of my class, and engaged, not in some ostensible straitjacket.
Every day of pain deserved I'm crushed by mine own blow it justice being served I've fucked it up i know i know I'll never measure up each day I'm growing more corrupt i hurt and cry in bitter pain
I was born a princess, there was no shame in me. I was happy and innocent, caring and free. But the years went by, I was just fourteen, A boy met my eye- he was kind, funny, and lean.
Tiny pieces of pain Dripping into a new facade Overflowing weeping tears, Tears in reality.  People’s faces torn,
The struggling To just open the bottle Then swallow The pills Choke me Let them I want to breathe no more Let the air stop its descent Into my lungs I'll choke on hot coals
Dreadful Dreadful In every cell Dreadful Daughter Lives in hell Dreadful Dreadful You cant tell Dreadful Daughter Fakes it well Dreadful Dreadful Hear her knell?
Yes I am broken and bruised, Yes willingly, I love the abuse, Yes the nights are long There’s not enough distractions in the day, Yes the reasons to leave Outweigh the reasons to stay,
I recently wrote my first poetry book and I thought I would share it with the poetry community. If you would like to support it you can type in Gissel Grizzle or Untold Verses into the Amazon search.I'm not able to post the link here.
What sweet relief Found only under The sweet ministrations Of razor’s edge, Noose’s end and Pill bottle bottom.
It's okay little girl it'll be alright,One day those bullies won't make you cry.It's okay little girl it'll be alright,One day those rumors won't fly in the sky.It's okay little girl it'll be alright,Your mom'll always be there to hold you tight.I
It seems now a days im having more dreams Were im falling straight down No destination in sight No light to guide Sometimes I wish I would just reach the end Cause it seems more and more these days
Their coarse edges will never flutter like my nomadic mind—   the wayfarer that renders me claustrophobic  
There are galaxies behind your eyes With more than a million stars. But why the constellations of your skies Look exactly like my scars?
The nightmares don't end when I turn on the light, My thoughts prevent me from my rest in the night, So harsh and so cruel not a good thing to say, They leave me so nervous to take on the day,
It calls to me As my thoughts run fast. It calls to me And I can't hold back. It's there for me When my heart feels cold. It's there for me And my lonely soul. It's always there
He draws with silver And it comes out red Neat Clean lines Cover most of his body He tries to go deeper Fear of failure
Pain Some people hate it Avoid it heavily Others enjoy it Seek it out I myself am the latter Physical pain I can control
Keep your sleeves down Keep your hood up Keep your voice quiet Keep your silence overwhelming They’re never notice you The see what they want
When you welcome the pain It stops hurting It becomes nice When you cause it yourself You can control it You feel it better
Why is it That i feel most alone Surrounded by people? Why is it I feel most unwanted When people say they love me? Why is it
You can stitch my skin But not my heart You can mend my wounds But not my mind You can heal the surface But not deep down
Wake up, breathe. Cry, breathe. Dry your face, breathe. Take a shower, breathe. Cry, breathe. Dry your face, breathe.
I was told to write  my feelings down,  so I inked pain on a piece of torn paper, instead of etching  it onto my skin. I wrote  with ink instead of my blood. So why  did the tears  fall the same? And why did my heart   ache the same?  Thoughts cry
The cuts are the spoils from war. They decorate us
No hopefulness within, The silver and the skin, It kisses like fire, My veins become drier, Relief, kiss my forehead, A break from the torment.
No matter how much it hurts, You have to keep a smile on your face, And keep your head help high. You have to pretend it doesn't bother you, Because nobody can know how much you're hurting inside.
You never noticed That you never saw him eat In all the months you've known him. You had no idea Whether she shaved her legs Because you never saw her in anything but sweats -
Once upon a time… We had a fairytale princess I say “had” because this fairytale has a twist.
“I’m sorry” two words I say too often so much you must be sick of hearing my voice
Have you ever felt like your skin is too tight? like your blood is cold or boiling? have you ever felt like you are suffocating?
What even is a world without hate?I wouldn't know, this one sure ain't.We live in a society teaching us nobody cares,that nobody wants you,and nobody's there.Society teaches us to not like what we are,
Broken she feels. In the night, her soul cries out.
You can never forget the way it burns, the way your chest feels like its on fire, your heart consumed by sorrowful flames.
I want to stop trying,
you place the blades to your wrist again, the blood begins to pool, you think your family will never be whole and you wittness oppression at school.   but you only want someone to see,
The courage to do something with my life has be
I'm getting bad again, Everyday i wake up feeling the same thing.. lugubrious. Thoughts of suicide, On my mind 24/7 it's like..i'm high!
Shes screaming out to the girl she once knew,
The thread that ties me to you Is soaked in ether and stretches even deeper. This thread is of the worst kind of blue, Even though it was your favorite hue. It's purple in the right light,
Some People hide in the darkness
I`m distraught. My life has left me.
Today I sit in the front.
She didn't act like that until they called her fat then they called her ugly Her best friend noticed what she was hiding she saw the scars on her wrist I guess she cut But why?
How can you miss someone who was never physically there Never felt their touched or the texture of their hair Never held their hand or kissed their lips Yet they seem to be the only person you miss
And so I sit here, reminding myself Of every reason I should not pick up that knife And how things will only get worse if I do. It is not the action I seek, It is the results The burning white of the pain
I swallow the poison my body craves, While I know the things at stake. I claw at pieces of my skin for my mother’s sake. I hurt my insides, to save the out; There’s always a price to pay.
Have you ever fought yourself? Have you ever been so revolted by your own will that Air clenched in your throat and a weight was driven down on your chest?
even the wildest of us, craving freedom, has broken  alone, the sleepless nights pass so tediously
My mother's crying My father's gone My brother's screaming I am singing,  I think I'll take a walk   My friends aren't listening My teachers don't care The walls are closing in
Who is that lonely girl Sitting on the corner of the street Who is that lonely girl Not saying a word while she eats Who is that lonely girl Wearing the outdated shoes Who is that lonely girl
Judge by the hourAll they want is powerAll they want is to see you cryBut it's only liesIt’s not the truthEven though they have the proofJudge by the hourBut they are the cowards
Cigarette burns and bloody towels on my carpet make the world seem like a bitter lonely place A place in which I stare into the mirror and can not recognize my own face
Here a girl of 17 sat playing with her nails.She wore black and was thin and very frail.Her dark brown locks hid her face as she stared blankly into space.
Society says the point of “getting better” is to be loved. By someone; by something. 
Just when you think You've got it under control
She isn't hopeless She isn't worthless She isn't mediocre She isn't ugly She isn't alone  She knows this.   She feels hate She feels shame She feels guilt She feels regret
To pull against her trust
It's 2:00 am, he lays awake in bed contemplating life.Should he stay or should he go?Will they even notice he's gone?He cries for help but they dismiss him time and time again.
  I am lost I am a little girl named Alice Trying to find my way back up the rabbit hole   The Rabbit, Instead of telling me the time He reminds me not to eat  
I was staggering, drunk, holding onto my cousin as if she was now my physical crutch as well. It was pitch black, the trees surrounding us, and if they weren't attached to mother earth,
If you really knew me you’d know i can’t pass by a mirror without pulling up my shirt, to stare at last night’s gallon of ice-cream box of cereal and bag of cookies. you’d know i have no energy
Demons live But not at night;
I met a guy who made me believe
Wouldn’t it be easy? A hand full of pills, Gently sliding down my throat, Poisoning my body,
give me the razor, with edges stained red, give me the pills that will silence my head. give me the vodka, an infinite glass, the cigarette smoke, till my cravings are fed.  
When my brother cuts his skin He scars my heart When he tries to die He is killing part of me   Three parts of me have died And I have countless scars on my heart
It floats through the room Heaven to her ears She releases her sadness Though the rhythm and beat
Humans all participate in a simple task. It makes society easier, if we all wear a mask. Everyone possesing secerets, stories we choose to disguise. All carrying a fake persona, so they'll believe our lies.
(The words below may be triggering to anyone with depression and/or anxiety..)
The things I hide From curious eyes. Oh, how they wish to see; But I can not show you the real me.   I’m scarred, And broken, And long outspoken, Bruised, and hurt.  
I am a girl. I am a woman. I should sit on the toilet, and stare at the wall, or the tub, or the sink. My view should be of the things around me, not the things under me. I am a human. I am a person.
I have a metal object... Do you know what it is? It could be heavy or light... Do you want to see it inmy hand?
I see myself a vision of perfection, Regardless of what my mother says that only god is, If only god is I am god of my own self vision, Anything else is kept to myself as self imprisonment,
Long sleeves in mid summer. Always trying to trick the others. Covering up what The Cat has done, man many people are dumb. Walkin around in a daze. Putting fake smiles on your face,
These Battle Scars                                                                  
Another scar
Sometimes tears stream down porcelain cheeks onto dry cracked earth.   Sometimes they fall into fragile hands that somehow hold up the world.   Sometimes they mix with fresh blood
bugs crawling under my skin tiny whispers the itch of trillions of legs uglyloserwrongawkwardwrongweird no No NO i am not ruined i am not a burning building i am not damaged goods
They say love is a drug. It's no wonder I'm always so high. I abuse too much, never sober enough. His laugh is my cocaine, addictive and exhilarating. When his lips meet mine, it's pure bliss
Four years. Four years and you're letting go, not me. I desired to keep you. Like the folded up piece of paper that you placed in an envelope and sealed with your wax kisses.
Who am I?  A question even I don't know, For this face I do deny, And body try to hide,  This mask as my disguise,  Every mirror will catch my eye, To eat I have to try, Anorexia.  
No one knows the pain I'm in, so i'll show them No one sees my pain, until they have to sew them
He was there just yesterday smiling at me His black emo hair round his face he wore eyeliner, guyliner he called it he always had a smirky little grin but i liked that about him
We had walked on opposite sides of the street,
I turn my head and so does she I look into her eyes and she looks in mine
What's wrong with my brain? All of this pain Has made me insane It's wrapped around me like chain Oh what a complain I always have to explain That I want to cut my vein 
Waking up in the middle of the night, not being able to breathe. It sucks Not knowing where to go is confusing You're debating whether or not it to end it Baby, keep ya head up.
It hit me one night on tumblr a blog i stumbled upon with a bio that sounded a LOT like my old best friend we never fell out our friendship never ended
So he got there this morning, saw no one, just her bed.  Which was curiously red. So he called up the detective, "Listen here," he said. She's missing, nowhere to be found.
I'm 19 I'm 19, male I'm 19, male, hispanic I'm 19, male, hispanic, I have scars I'm 19, male, hispanic, I have scars, I have feelings I'm 19, male, hispanic, I have scars, I have feelings, and I love deeply
Ice like fire Salt to make heat Pain to keep me grounded Pain to help me see Pain that forces Tightened lungs to breathe When it heals Rinse, Repeat Don't needa razor
Stands on edge of precipice, Ebony abyss Battle born, there has never Been a war like this. Criss-cross grooves from razor blades Creeping up young arms Voice in barren wilderness,
Take a chance every once in awhile,
Twisted and tangelled I think I fell out of the skiy. Red flesh kept mangeled, is not how humans feel alive. To live and feel life where the sorrow and anger has been. Was written like a map in my layers of skin.
He downs another beer, His twelfth one tonight. I watch him.
I feel so lonely, so incomplete
A love kept a love lost,  Your eyes reflecting the pain within. 
Warming myself with the cold, Doing things that I am told, I love this feeling of numb, A blind, deaf and dumb, A comfortable nothing, No bling, No flash,
No one sees the real me, under the smile and all the laughter, and the friendly conversation, there's a cloak of sadness covering me, depression stalking my every move, never letting me go,
" i just don't have the proper training to deal with your...condition...i hope you understand." i nod, because yes, i do understand. i understand that when you look at the scars on my thigh and ankle, you get chills
there nothing to fear except fear itself except fear fills our every thought. what on our mind, cloud our hearts, our judgment and reasoning seems to part. theres no clear path to think straight
I sit here in solitude, torn apart.
Everyone has a suicide.
I have a secret to confess
My mask My hiding My facade This is what I keep from everyone   My happy face My pesaceful grace My ever-present humor This is why they never knew   My hidden tears
I have decided to substitute self harm with my dental care. The unfortunate part is all I've got in the end is multiple scars and impeccably white teeth  that will never get a chance to smile.
Don't slit your wrist,
I used to believe that everything about life was wonderous
     I woke up on a dirty mattress on the floor of a friends house. It's my 16th birthday. A huge milestone in a young persons life.
Scars cover my skin
They perch in front of a mirror, Teetering on a tightrope, thousands of miles in the air, Swaying in the roguish winds With a net made of crisscrossing razor blades serving as the only defense from a cold ground
Crimson substance fills the cup One is one and never enough With every wound A new opening
Left with a broken smile, A twisted girls mind Can take you a mile Through the decisions she's made She's haunted by pain Brought to light to see The only good decision she ever made
Who am I you ask? I’m rather unsure. I’m a wimp, and unskilled. Forever alone. I’m hopeless, Self-hated, And nervous I’ll be Deserted, forgotten, Left out in the dark
cut
this self mutilation is getting out of hand every night i break down i know i cant stand to stay here much longer, im am beaten and damned to rot away slowly with nothing in hand  
You see that person sitting alone? That person hiding pain behind a smile? Had you even looked into their file Would you not have seen the suffering? Would you not understand?   You see that person?
The burning under my skin, a fire clawing out of my body. I hear the tortured souls cry as they are slowly burned. The demons hide in the shadows, waiting for me to sleep. The moment I close my eyes,
He knows the importance of vertical strokes. And to plant a garden,
(Behind The Scenes):
Cut
I thi
Locking into place, the Guardian stands strong keeping the red marks hidden from all drawn upon a surface to which they do not belong. Loosing stance, only for a while, the Guardian falls  
Ribbons wide Ribbons red  Ribbons running 'cross the bed.   Ribbons long. Ribbons short. Ribbons reaching for your heart.   Ribbons old. Ribbons new.
When I hold it in my hand, I feel much power I feel like I haven't been crying for the past half hour When I lay the cool metal upon my wrist
Get me out of here. I’m afraid of what could happen.   The mistakes, The silver gleam, The blood, The pain…   I’m afraid of what I might do. I’m afraid of Myself.
I walk on a Sunday afternoon in 2013. I walk to the store candy and a lil bit of ice T. I walk wondering who this man is behind me. I walk till I can't walk no more and I run  I run and I run.
She used to be the sweetest girl ever, but her life became stuck in a sour chapter. She cries as she lies wide awake at night. Trying to keep her mind from losing this fight.
  do you see my face do you see my soul or are my scars
Your body is a temple- And I have burned mine to the ground too many times to count. I have slashed it and scarred it and bruised it and marred it, And tried to break the bones of this battered flesh home.  
I took a walk 
  The first thing I ever learned from her is that when she says she doesn't care, she's really lying through her teeth. 
The times are deathly dark Blind to the light Cannot seem to escape My dreadful fate Who'll save me from myself When no one cares to help
Not a day goes by,  where I can't hear the voice...
Get it out; It won't matter. No one will notice.   You'll just do it once Right? No harm in that.   You can easily hide it. Go on... Do it! .....I dare you.  
Listening to every depressing song on the radio Praying for stregth to recover from you being gone My memory is so clear Life is supposed to be longer In an instant I watched you disapear
Betraying my body.  Excersing to oblivion.  All food maticulousoy monitered.  Under the control of the fear of gaining weight.  Telling myself if I lose a few more ill be happy. 
With shaky hands I held the blade,
When I told her I didn't want to be friends anymore-That I was done with it (and her)-She cried.She begged.She asked why.And I tried to explain…But my founded reasoning fell onto deaf,
I am quietbecause were I to open my mouthand let out the sugardemonscrouching behind my teeth,they would make you cry.I am tiredbecause were I to stay awakefor an hour or so more
Hurt. Broken.
Hurt. Broken.
Not everything works Like it used to when We were young Disease fills us Disorders rot our minds and We’re never cured Anxiety creeps up Fire that you ignore but Can’t put out
I live within broken mirrors—   Fragmenting my mind.  
I was 8 years old. My light up sketchers with my pink book bag outshined the sun and my smile. Entering the school with excitement I hear one kid say "Woah shes fat"  That day sticks with me/
Bridges are such high places,
quiet child; never worrieS the others caring child; holds All who need to cry lovely child; pinnicle of Virtue child, where is your smilE?   ungrateful child; always in Mourning
This is for those who can't stand up and speak.   And if they ever did, they would come across as weak.   The ones who are lonely, hurt, alone, and broken.  
I cannot l
Sun beats down on soft green grass,
Steel is pressed against my skin Tears of ice cold anger shower me
If minutes passed like hours, you'd never have gone away. 
Darkness consumes me. My surroundings slowly seep into my body. I have no control over my body. I try to move but something has tied me down. All I can feel is the tears that roll down my face.
Me
Behind my eyes lies a soul that has been hurt.  Repeatedly. Time and time again. Behind my smile is a tongue that has said many words.
Her scars are like a diary, open for the world to see. Showing how low she's been, and how many times she's been there. Her wrist is the only honest part of her, it's where the truth about her world lies.
Its 5:33 and your lying next to me, which seems so small but means the world to me.
"Next Time."
My self infliction makes me second guess my so-called addiction Eeleven stiches to match my eyes, they heard my cries When I was in a denial of my proclaimed suicidal state of mind And on my arm the devil signed
beautiful blue eyes
Not because your fingers don’t twitch as you shove them in your pockets, hungry under the nails for my skin.
She chose the next life She thought she was out of options She left behind a knife
Sliding a blade across her skin to quite the voices
what are those on your wrists, dear? beautifully carved
I was going to kill myself on April 12th April 12th I don’t know what it was about that date that stood out for me Maybe it was the odd symmetry of it…4/12/14
run little baby girl, let the wind and the sirens comfort you as you go, run as fast as you can, get as far away as you can it's okay, it's not like the others will ever understand
There's a crime that's stuck inside my mind A life built on this crooked line I'm lost in these innocent times My cries are unheard My destination is absurd So many crowding around my room
Hiding behind her own reflection Having to deal with her satisfaction The mirror tells no lies And at night she'll refuse to cry The knife will show her a new way To express what she has to say  
Beautiful darling, Don't hurt yourself, I need you You deserve love, babe   One-of-a-kind soul, Don't drag that blade across you I care about you   You're a lovely girl
I just want to give up
I Heard When I Walked Into First Period
You're Perfect
Leave me at perfection, it's just over there.
They say "stay strong, keep moving on" while I'm shuttering and cold; and I've been growing old,  of the voices in my head. And, I'm all alone.    "it's just a phase," they say.
And tonight will be the night remembered as the time I let me get the best of me, I let my memory replay every little word you should have said. I let my passed creep back into me, the shadow of depression consumed me.
I broke the wall that holds me in.
With a heavy heart, my tears pour
My scars aren't healing
Night after night,  into the miserable hours  of another weary morning,  I waste my time  lying restlessly  in a bed too familiar.  Tiny branches of red 
You're warned - there are signs.  It starts to get dark outside,  and on your foggy window is  the soft pattering of rain. You  know what's coming,  and you're hiding in your room, 
Im here ag
Ripping my
With an empty stomach I go to bed. There is no food for me tonight. With an empty stomach I wake up. The result of the night before is taking its effect.
Stumbling, falling, staggering, bawling No one cares (Or so I think)
Don’t eat,
Some need to change how they fulfill their life. Live life. Love it. Do not waste it. I wish they would understand life is a river that will meet waterfalls sometimes.
What is a stereotype? The god fearing religious girl Who has an addiction to a razor and suicidal thoughts?  The blond blue eyed cheerleader who has an eating disorder  And a dad that beats her?
Thoughts race time goes by minutes drag she wonders why   darker and darker her mind goes what is the outcome? nobody knows   all she sees behind hazel eyes
Incompetent minds with unyielding thoughts she keeps to herself and guards her soul   they dont understand they only observe she stays in pain but keeps her control  
Imagine a world of no conflictNo anger, no murder, no war   A world of respect   Where the color of your skin doesn’t matterWhere which side of the tracks you grew upon makes no change  
the faggot in the reflection of my space helmet visor is my only friend. with shaggy shorn hair and big eyes and a hollow cheek bone that holds in my silent tongue. i have etched lessons in my skin, leaving silver lines
Ode to No One
Sometimes I feel loneliness in my soul, loneliness that even with people around me it can’t be removed A loneliness that I have since December Not even with the funniest joke will this great solitude purge.
As the blood bubbles upon my pale skin;
I'm a pacifist. But I have been in my share of battles. The enemy? Myself.   Merciless self-destruction, and a murderous mind Sending bombs of hate, and landlines of lies.  
she went in her room and shut the door
i bet you thought you were hillarious i dont blame you;everyone was laughing you saw the cuts on my ankle...and i saw in your eyes you knew "what happend are you emo or something" wow how cute
In just one moment Her inner soul was shattered and broken Never to be the same
I have become a nobody,I am on a road to nothingness.This road is made of pills and blades,
 UI joy filled 
I heard the grass is greener on the other side Only if you abide By the rules they preach to sinners Only those who reach it are truly winners And the everlasting pulsing is gone I’m coming home
I contemplated the beauty of seeing my own blood In that moment, I was broken, too broken Like all the pieces of a shattered glass I can’t be put back together When does God help?
The words mental hospital
The words mental hospital
Have you ever told the voices inside your head to shut up?
There is beauty in out pain;
These scars tell my past
Only the fallen can see the falling. To the hurt, the stains are obvious. The scars are there.   Only the broken can see the breaking. To the tortured, the bruises
Wish Someone Taught me, How To Save a Life   2/11/2014 11:00 AM   It starts from a little bit of devastation...
fading with age brownign, blurring suffering every day but continues stirring  mindlessly lingering mythodically fingering blades of a razor and quaint gassoline flame.
Laying down with tears in her eyes She gets up with that knife knowing what it can do She is sad,not even,depressed enough to feel she is not worth it A waist of space, a no good nothing
She hated herself for what she’d become: all alone with no one to talk to. She didn’t know why no one liked her. She couldn’t understand what made her different
Imagine what it would feel like: Over, done, sinking, falling.  Imagine what it would sound like:
Have you ever wanted to sit with a razor blade,  And write a bloody symphony on your arm?  Have you ever felt your trembling heart be swayed,  And knew it was a sign of the looming swarm?   
I wake up every morning.
See a boy grow up with bruises on his back ‘Cause he can’t change how he’s born
You have heard it said so many times Each time I hear it my determination climbs Chase your dreams don't let them get away For if you do in the end you will pay So go out in the world and make a name for yourself
I draw the blade across my skin,Like a maestro con
The depth of it all, the rise and the fall. Room 116A, just making sure I'm okay. Tomorrow isn't promised, yesterday wasn't either. Blood steaming like fire, it's like my heart has a fever. Yes, I'm a non believer but I did believe him.
the first time i met youi didnt knowhow marks cascade down your arms in a pink-white array of battle scars the first time i met youi didnt knowhow tears fall from your eyes before you finally sucumb to sleep
Weep only at your own bad luck In your own head you'll be stuck Always a coward You had never flowered The only thing you have ever hurt is yourself Wait some time and your soul will heal itself
He was constantly feeling down, especially when no one was around.
Picking at her bloody wounds There she hides inside her room Reliving that awful night Shes sinking, drowning, drenched in frieght tears stain her mournful eyes wishing what she heard were lies  
I don’t cry much,
Stop It You've got beautiful arms, no need to abuse it You've got a beautiful soul, id hate for you to lose it so put up that razor, up that knife,  up those feelings filled with strife.  and stop it. 
Oh,there are more.There are more of us.We fly like believers, high on the wings ofdeception. We dance in the moonlight,where darkness and innocencecollide in their simplest.
When in the dark I reflect on me I realize
Why is it that we allow ourselves to suffer? Day by Day we walk around, fake smiles plasered to our faces, bracelets to hide the cuts, makeup to hide the bruises.
She plunges into a world that was left unknown, a kind of darkness that swallows her whole, he tries to grab her, but she is forever gone.   She releases her grasp on what is truly real,
  Another twenty-four hours My eyes burned another hole in the wall Gunshot wounds from my Civil War Cant get up so I'm learning to crawl   My sister and her friend
The first time I saw you . . .  I was greeted by the most unearthly howl The sound of a thousand jackrabbits being impaled while dragging their nails across a chalkboard It stopped when
The Mirror never lies, You see what they see, The Scars, The Burns, The Lies, They haunt you, Bringing back old memories of love,
The cold harsh wind blows on your face, Splashing on puddles. Covering your face and letting the rain mix in with your tears. You’re running to get away; you’re running to be free.
Stay away from perfection
This red sunset as if bleeding and defeated, retreats behind the leafless trees of fall. The day surrendering to the night, and letting darkness take control. The cold bleak nights calling to a side of you you've tried to suppress for so long.
Now he's dead No one knows why He committed suicide On his first try No one knows the thoughts  that went through his mind They're afraid to delve deeper  For fear of what they might find
Oh my...You said you just wanted to get highBut now it's like you need something more to get byFirst a pill now it's some kind of white powder
Everyone's going to have a bad. Some people take it a little more seriously. There are people who need someone. They sit in their rooms and blame themselves For EVERYTHING.
I wonder does it help do the scars make me braver does the pain makes me stronger my emotions make me better when I take it out on my skin, is it going to make me prettier scissors, knife, or a blade
My life, its not as bright as the sun nor the light, but it stands out at night, my arms, they arent what they used to be, pull up my sleeves and  you will see what I mean,
When I stopped taking Valium I started punching walls And I think that’s a good thing I’m Seventeen I’ve been medicated for four years I’m angry and I ought to be
People say life is short,And that "You Only Live Once"But life is the longest thing you'll ever do.Why should I keep going?Why should I keep breathing?I can't find the meaning.
Water flowing from my eyes- 
Brighten up your darkness By opening a bookA recordYour heartYour mindYour handsNot your skin
It rises and falls only to rise again.   A circadian pattern, until one day it falls too hard.   Shattered and torn, It attempts to rise.  
a beautiful victory
A tsunami sent by one line of text Adrenaline floods my veins- emotions are drowning, tumbling just trying to catch up with my brain My heart jumps, flips, flies out of my chest-
Are you mad at me? I sent you to the hospital because I’ve been there Been where you are now   I was surprised when you thanked me Now I feel awkward I couldn’t let you die  
they say that r e l a p s e is part of r e c o v e r y. well, i sure hope
You may have had a rough life, present & future – but who are you to judge the future?
It started in my heart It migrated to my head It filled me with fear Of going to bed
                         
Peace is not easy.
I fight a fight I know I cant win;
Honorio Freeland Lost in the World Who am I? What makes me, me? Eighteen years young, With not plenty to show for it.
Little ones sing soft and sweet In their castles safe to dream I once lived in a castle too Long before I was torn from you   Father, forgive me for I have sinned
  Among faces and figures seen day after day Through the halls I walk a, ghost of gray So many people and so much commotion A silent shadow, hidden in the cracks Walking through life in slow motion
Kids are becoming thugs, don't you see them doing drugs? See them, smell them, almost taste it on your tongue.
These greatest years of our life and what do we take with us?
I dream of bleeding in front of your eyes, But I must compromise. I'm dying to overdose from the red that once covered the bed, Now only in my head, Slowly becoming a whiter shade of pale as my heart beats,
Tears run down her face,  And loudly she weeps,
There is an empty place in my chest, an empty spot where my thoughts use to flow and my memories use to play. The familiar rhythm that's kept me alive for so long is slowly coming to a halt.
My heart sings the words Of my soul It feels all my weeknesses It hears all my screams It tastes the chalking of my blood It smells the fear of my aching beat It sees the nightmares that I
I have an angel by my side She's the reason I'm still alive She wiped my tears when I would cry She kept me from the dark where I would hide So I will tell you a story thats bloody and true
All alone and so very lost 
I’m walking a thin line, I’m running out of my lifeline. They’re letting go, they’re moving on How come I’m so far gone?   Why am I so worthless? My life so pointless?
I thought about it once or twice, maybe three or four. About suicide, and what it would be like, if I didn’t live anymore.   My world is dark and gray, filled with sorrow and lots of pain.  
Society has spoken, nobody cares. He cries all alone, for the truth he cannot bear. He bleeds all night yet no one is there, not one single person nice enough to care.
There she was alone again she made her choice so we'd  hear her silent voice maybe I was so stupid, for not seeing this before This is why,  she cried to sleep at night
It's small and cold in the palm of my hand, Beautiful yet repulsive, 
You see that kid  Yes the one by himself You think he's a nerd A loser Or even maybe a nobody All his classmates trease him Then to go home And just get yelled at by his parents
Feels like I'm going crazy  Can't let these thoughts take control over me Wanting a drink  Or a sense of pain I tell myself I need it  It started to become a daily routine  Happening for years
There she lay, On her bathroom floor thinking only about death, She stared at the pills scattered on the floor, As she took her last breathe, Only being able to see gray, She was happy she finally escaped,
I miss your smile, i miss your face, i miss your strongly supporting embrace. I miss your voice, i miss your words, that made me feel like, the only girl in the world. I miss your laugh,
The urges They’re back And they’re out for blood.   Why are they here? I don’t understand Why they came back.   I feel them like A punch to my gut
The cry Of a wounded animal Is hard to ignore   That’s the same Story when it comes To the call of an addiction.   It calls to you Until you run To seize it.  
Addictions Everybody has one Some  call them hobbies Others call them coping mechanisms   Some turn to pot Some turn to speed Some turn to heroine Some turn to meth
As she closed her eyes she imagined her life before her Her eyes were bowed down in defeat, in weakness She reminisced on what she had lost, what she had gained
Tears streaming down his face He reaches for the belt in his closet. He looks up at his ceiling fan. “Will it hold me?” No. He reaches for the open razorblade on his wardrobe.
Dreading Spanish every day Something I wish I could say to my teacher You flirt with all the boys and ruffle their hair When I leave crying, I'm the "trouble maker" I'm the "Liar"
She strokes my hair gently Kisses me passionatlely Hugs me tightly Always loves me Wants to be with me forever Cares about me more than anything Spends every second of every day by my side
The Night arrived room, The flame lit up the glistening blade. Her towel fell from her body, on the ground it laid.   A drop of moisture from her hair, curved her upwards chest.
They think she's happysee her smile and just assumebut what they don't know might kill herit might lead her to her doom  Little do they knowher mind has the controlshe is slowly dyingsoon she may very well go  In her eyes is the painon her arms ar
The pain I feel is from within, The smile is all a show, The dreams I had Once big and bold Suddenly crushed and hopeless. Who needs me I am no-body Unwanted, alone, trapped..  
Have you ever wanted to die Have you ever wondered whats on the other side Have you ever looked yourself in the face and thought why WHY… HY… HY… am I alive What is the meaning of life
I know the voices in your headThey've reached down into your coreI know the lies that they have said because I've heard them all before
The perfect girl, That's what everyone saw. The one that everyone knew. The girl without a flaw.   But when she looked in the mirror, She hid behind a facade. All the scars on her wrists,
She’s far from an innocent For deep in her past Lie memories in waiting, Coming on fast. The shame and the guilt Are too much to take, So she closes her eyes And accepts her fate…
I've been knocked down before someone knocked down my door.  They been down a street where you didn't want to meet, as well as me. 
The call of the sad bird’s allure, Heard by some, but not by all. The call of the Mourning Dove, so pure, Heard by those bound to fall.   The room was filled with ashes, The ashes of their love.
We hide in the darkness. We never come into the light. We hide behind a fake smile that nobody cares to look behind. We hide behind a mask we built to hide our true selves. We only show to those who
Am I stupid? Am I crazy? A maniac, perhaps? How can I still love you? How can you still love me? I look at you and I still see utter perfection. The way you walk, talk, laugh, and smile.
Him
I keep thinking about you. But I'm not sure what to do. Maybe If i stop dreaming of what could be.Maybe If i stop thinking of it as you and me.Maybe letting you go is the key.
  I miss that feelingWhen I felt the surgeThe boost of spiritsThe sound of birdsThe world was laughterThe peace, like rainBut since it happenedIt won’t come again
My wrists... like paper. The knife... a pen. The blood it savors. The ink, it sends. My skin is torn. The paper is ripped. Blade like a thorn. The pen, it shifts. Every scar has a story.
Come with me to the room of doors for some funTake a deep breath and open door number oneIn this room livesA teenage girlHiding awayFrom the cruel cruel world.Her eyes are hollowHer soul a shell
I'm always dreaming, Even when I'm awake. In my dreams, I have control Usually... Until one day, There was a razor in my hands And I awake to lots of blood Everywhere...
Why would someone do such a thing? Someone please tell me why. He gave him so much of his effort. So much of his money and time. Between the two was everything. He'd helped him stand back up.
War
Tainted, tainted is the light, No more is it pure and bright, Tainted, tainted as the night, No one can see for it is dark with fright,   Scarred am I from battles and wars, Recovery is not an option,
I've paid the price of losing someone I lived my life without a rule book I'd always imagined he'd be the one I came untied and fell to ashes I loved him, he made me cry  
  I stand here touching the breeze in my hair, feeling unconscious full of despair, I feel the touch of freedom. You told me i have legs, so I walk. I stand here with the darkness in my eyes,
Not a sight nor Neither here or there  A covering vail ​Would you care?   Here today but not in the morrow In view but far away Yet there is Nothing to say  
In her eyes
How would it feel to cut open a vein, to let the blood spill unrestrained?   What would happen, would anyone care if you were to die right there?   To drive that knife
Deadlines Closing in, a crouching tiger Waiting for me to fail, say something wrong As if I didn't hate myself enough already "Quit making excuses, there was plenty of time for this assignment"
In the end, life is not about the suffering I’ve faced, It’s not about the times I held my tongue and suppressed a scream when darkness stole my innocence.
Love is when you feel cared yet hurt. When you life is complete yet empty.
We sat on the steps of my eroded muck stained porch. We contemplated our lives and our identities while sipping on unclean glasses. We laughed at my awful past of abuse, neglect, and insanity
I once knew a girl  I was going to start out with I once knew a girl, but I never really knew her. I would say that her sleeves were as long as the list of dreams inside her head.
I don't understand why you hurt me or make me have these scars you always say no one cares of course i'm going to take that to heart. your suppose to love me and take care of me but you havent been doing that lately
A steady rhythm,  A speedy pace, My heart now seems to race. A race, A fight,  What we do in the night. Loving, leaving,  I begin to start bleeding. Remorce and grieving
you
I miss how you looked in my eyes that first night I could not recal anything else the way your soft skin felt on my cold hands The blurred memory gave me a rush I miss when we layed recalling the past
In elementary school, we read a story called The BFG, or big friendly giant. It was a story about the only kind giant to exist. If you asked any of my old classmates about the story, most would probably not remember.
No one knows that she still hurts- But she keeps herself composed hoping no one notices her flaws.
He came today- for the girl; on the 6th floor. She went with him,  peacefully- or so they thought, evidence of him was there there on her arm, was written G/O/O/D/B/Y/E
We know you can see them. Your eyes on your desk, your pen in your hand, your lips glued together, and your eyes defiantly shut, We know you can see them. They are the quiet ones, the loud ones,
Red
Red, The colour you bleed As you pour your heart To the stranger on the bus. Red, The colour you bleed As you pace back and forth in your bedroom Contemplating
Im making my mind up to express. Living this way is just a mess. Laughing at nothing Is funny when its serious. Im Living life to the fullest So im a gangster. Living is dying.
What's wrong with your ankles?Why do they look like that?I had a roughly drawn childhoodthe brown is painted with pinkbeige splatters across the waysome white spots are seen.
You are my South Wind, There to uplift me There to surround me But never to falter.   You are my Sun, There to light my way There to give me hope But never to dim.  
I want to dieI want to turn away away and say goodbye There is just to much painI can barely stay in my own laneI'm falling apartI hurt in my whole body, especially in my heartI'm going to end it allI may step a little far over the edge and just f
I miss you so much I miss your voice and soft touchThe way you comforted me Always offering me a cup of teaI lie to myself everyday I tell myself you'll come back by the end of MayEven though I know deep downYou're never coming back to this townYo
She screams as the light beams pushing and pushing the wall of despair.  Times of love from above is just like a dove resting on my shoulder. Times of love, Times of love, Times of love.  
Because all the things you've done im like this today. Hurt, numb, empty; whats lost is gone forever. Forever feeling a unsacred empty space. You took the only part of me that wasnt yours, the part of me that you havent already distroyed.
Thump Thump even steps on the floor A rhythmic monotone inciting horror Who is it that makes such a beaten path Is it death or man with a thought to pass
Burny Burny Cut Cut. Can’t you see that it’s enough, to make it all go away and let me live another day?   Slice Slice Bleed Bleed. They watch me as I do my deed. Close my eyes and loose myself.
Count the calories, count the pounds, the less you have the smaller you are. Collarbones, tiny waist, beauty is deeper than just your flesh. Struggling with yourself, fighting the demons in your mind.
I came here alone, others are apparitions. Strangers to mother's. Opponents to father's. Siblings are apparitions. Friends are apparitions. Lovers are apparitions.
  The hole in my heart is deeper than the sea, The hole in my heart is blacker than the new moon sky. I still wish you were with me, your touch still lingers with me. As I’m asleep I dream of me back in your arms,
I am a silver moon. You are my world. If you do not desire this gravitational pull any longer, then I shall take myself elsewhere. I can find another planet to orbit my heart around. Someone who does not consider me to be a meteor.
 I want to leave.I want to escape.This life I got,How did I deserve this? Blade in hand.Tears running down my face.Should I?I don't know. I have a big enough closet,Rope is in the garage.Pills are in the medicine cabinet.My bedroom window could be
Cold ice stretching over a fortress of falling beams. Rolling from blue eys come the diamonds of a sad day. Once strong the brick buildings fall in a crumbling rubble of distress. In a silent room a fire is ignited.
 I am like a ceramic bowl, and this bowl has many assets.Beautiful from a far, but up close you see my cuts, scars and bruises put there by all the hate and doubt of the world.
The Inner Me. It's the soul you cannot see. The pain, the struggles, the beating, and troubles. I cry out for help. Suicide thoughts. No one there to tell me, stop. I'm am confused at the mind.
theres many ways to show love actions speak louder than words  many people may recall the scene of pain  to overcome pain forgiveness is the key.
Holding on to that one last kiss. Remembering what it was like to hold you like this. My heart is slowly burning to the ground. With the passion in the love I had found. Your words still linger in this place.
When a blade rests on your wrist  They say there's more you can do  When a knot is tied around your neck  They say the lies were never true When you're ready to take a leap  They say you're stronger than this  And when you're long gone They say li
I want you to see me, I want someone to know my story, But there’s no one, Just empty words and empty stares, With empty love and empty cares, I sit alone and am alone, Just one person to listen to me,
   Wrap your fingers around the bottle, another sip,another swallow. Try to keep your shaking hands still, as you try to down the pills.    Welcome to the land of numb, nothing hurts,nothing's fun.
How do I keep moving forward? Do I strum the guitar, and keep hitting the wrong chord? Do I let everyone push me into praying to their "Dear Lord"? Do I use my words and make them hurt as much as a sword?
her scars itch as if they feel her pain they want friends more of themselves to add to her collection  it's like they can feel her bring the blade to kiss her use-to-be-smooth skin 
I wish my life was over, My world made of broken clovers, Falling out of place, going into a dark space, filled with blood, nothing to love...   No one can see through my facade,
Can a heart still break once it's stop beating can you believe me even though you know I am lying will you be there when I need you even though when your in need I&#39;m never anywhere to be found when your in need will you catch me when I am
17 and scarred4 years of a hellGroup of friends to hardly none Drama spreading faster than wildfireKnives sharpened and reused on someone else's backBlame being pointed everywhere but the source
I told him... "Pretty girls don't have scars," And I cried. With a finger under my chin, He made me look into his eyes. He told me that's what makes me beautiful And kissed every tear
Her condition is that she is a walking contradiction, for she is a soul burning with hot fire and coals born into the coldest winter ever.   She’s living in hell amongst demons yet some say she looks heavenly.  
Please Note: There is a trigger warning for this poem.   When I was 8 years old I felt you become so cold. Still, I tried to crawl in your lap for warmth
Understand, this is not right.Listen, hear me warn you.This is not a fair fight.You will fail, win, lose.
I
I said a word I made a friend I am yellow   I said a word I am in a relationship I am pink   I said a word I got into a fight I am blue   I said a word
I knocked on the door just to listen and see if she was home For some time I waited, cold winds flowing past me and down my back my mind started to rome Alone is what I began to feel but then she came to the door
A man who's life was strife by death left mights in his regrets. Life can be a pain and with punishment they may blame, but one thing that it gives, its forgivness for you'r sins. As the man shouts to death
I am not strong. When everything in life goes wrong, When everything in life crashes down, I drown And shrink with shame, As I attempt to control my emotions with pain.  
She writes the story on her wrists. One of heartbreak, abuse, and sorrow. When will this pain end?   She cries out in agony. "I can't make it until tomorrow! When will this pain end?"  
She says she feels alone in crowded roomsFakes a smile that is consumed by gloom.A consumption of pills are swallowed with fearShe fakes another smile to hide a small tear.
She sits alone, the tears falling. Picking up the blade, The pains calling. She finds the release, Crimson lies. Temptation increase. A lovers betrayal, Used as bait.
I used to write poems about the colors of your eyes with a stomach full of butterflies. But now I write words about the voices in my head and how I wish I were dead.   You used to promise
Is it my time? Is it my time to shine?Is it my time to die? On the outside I look like I’m doing just fine. On the inside, I’m trapped inside these happy lies. Is it my time? Is it my time to be free? 
Life turns to death, as the present fades to the past Its the bleeding of pure silence... The slow thumping of a partially broken heart.. The twinkle of a knife Hidden by the night
Gently falling down, The poem of my lifetime, It's never ending. 
Her mind flooded by judgment and oppression Her body aching from hate Her soul yearning to escape the cage it was forced into She is only accelerating her fate   She is only accelerating what is intended
Please Note: There is a trigger warning for this poem.   As she covers her arms, she covers her whole world. A world rooted in pain With no gain Of freedom from The Blade.  
Sometimes                           I stare
Silent, empty, lonely, hated (Sitting in a classroom, smiling vaguely) Muffled, lost, self-sedated (Top grade in the class! Congratulations, be proud!) Can't think, breathe, feel my way
I didn't know before how to light a candleTo set by the picture of us on the mantleThere was no flame to light the wayThere was no night to darken the dayThe monsters came to devour the heart
Tears roll down her face as she sees her lover with someone else Disgusted she feels She wishes she was someone else The anger inside from the lies he told  Disrespected from his actions  He is so bold 
To the lost, the forgotten, the outcasts, to all those who feel hopeless and alone. This cruel, sick, and twisted world you live in has made you think the unthinkable and speak the unspeakable.
All I am is bonesBreakable and bendableBird bonesHollowed out, emptyCreating a superficial beingSupposed to be sturdyBut empty of strengthTrying to flyAll I am is bird bonesEasily broken
underneath the night sky we lay while she swallows pill after pill downing them with the stolen jack daniel's we're holding hands as the stars blink as if warning us we're losing a friend
here i go another day like nothings wrong gotta keep my head up pretend to stay strong cause if they find out what ive felt all along thats it youre done. when suddenly the people you called your friend
Why do you pretend you're happy? With that fake smile on your face, pretending everythings perfect. You go home and cry... Because you're living a lie. With tears rolling down your face, you say you're okay.
Tell me you love me because you want me in your lifeTell me you love me because you mean it from your heart Tell me you love me because it's written all over your face
It’s strange. This feeling. This heart felt feeling… Sigh… not again. Could I… could I really? No, no, no! I’m not! I’m probably just sick. Yeah! Just sick… Damn, who am I kidding?
F FFFFightfFf ighting F  
Another white tee Tie dyed in four shades of red Out of the twelve you’ve already encountered Bleach will do no good this time Neither will a Band-Aid You never have to worry about people getting in your way
Cast over me, a sheet of confusion and foolishness, and yet it took more than one rude awakening in my life to help pull this sheet off my head but I still wonder why do so many tragedies had to come for me to finally understand a part of life.
I remember one time Someone said to me, "What? Were you emo or something?" And they laughed. And I laughed, But I didn't say anything. To me, it's not funny. That rusty blade
DEPRESSION Depression is like the color black, and is darker than the dimmest parts of space. It sounds like thousands of screams echoing in your ear, and bashing at your eardrum.
Your spirit lives in a red room. And I am the host of a ghost. The doom that looms Making its house a tomb   Your spirit runs through my veins Feeds into my brain Plays the regret, the shame
 When I looked I couldn't believe just what I saw I saw a man Sitting on his throne With my mind blown I fall to my knees  Screaming out  "LORD HELP ME PLEASE" He says "Son what you're looking for isn't on this EarthBut if you can trust me you wil
We are young. We are strong.  We are capable of anything.  Sometimes we are wrong.  Colorless and yet so colorful. Madness but mostly wonderful..
Jugular venous pressure is estimated by positioning A patient’s head at a 45-degree angle. When the veins in the neck Are swollen as high as the angle of the jaw, Blood pressure rises.  
There was a place and timeDon't ever go back to thenIt is just filled of memoriesAnd sadnessOf people who don'tRemember you, andPeople whom you wish to forgetYou've visited your past
  I'm just a typical teenage girl, but I still struggle. My thoughts engulf me. I wish I could escape. The girl you assume you know is probably fake.
I'm a prisoner, one of love. Women an men both abuse love. I give my love out freely an passionatly. My heart lays crumpled on the floor, weeping blood. It's on the floor because
Alocohol, Caffine, and NicotineSkipped AD’s, hellish dreams Sex, drugs, out of bowlsOCD, no control Depression and anxietyMind held captive, life lived free
Dark and despair in the air Tame those people who want to swear Make them believe in something else But keep it close to them like belts Help them decide to take a better path
In, out Right, left Yes, no Go through the motions.   What if you can't?   The walls are caving, The ground is shaking, The world seems to be falling apart.  
There once was a girl who could never stop crying, who had so much pain she envied the dying   Her eyes were red as a recent cut's splatter, but she could never stop crying, so it didn't matter  
 
Time elapses where the world was spinning,  the spinning stops,  the world collapses Collapsing and falling we all break silently in the spot that counts soft, red tissue unmeasured  
Can you see her? can you see the acid rain falls from the skys, every time she crys? She walks through life with her head held high,
They say make love, not war But there’s always a constant battle With my heart I’m always fighting for another And with every battle I grow weaker Losing soldiers, losing power
Spinning, Whirling, Flailing, Falling, Dizzy, No where to turn. Distant, I'm alone, with everyone around me, Drifting like drift wood, In a mind boggling sea
its funny almost, how easily you can lose yourself but how it difficult it is to find yourself again how you can go from being completely in the now minute
Someone once asked me"Why do you write?"This I what I said:
and I only have the sound of your footsteps committed to memory.   because the only memory I have of you   is the one of you walking away.    
The saying goes: “The pen is mightier than the sword”.   She sat there with pen in hand, and blade in the other. The latter the perpetrator of the scars on her arms,
Miss that girl, she used to always smile She loved talking to her friend and hanging out She loved to smile Loved to talk I do not understand what is wrong She cries herself to sleep
"What shall I say  Whether or not be truthful Or bask and in my sorrows all day. What shall I say? Sometimes a piercing gaze puts the pain back And I shut it away. What shall I say?
Bland. Broke. Hopeless. Pain beyond understanding. It cries out to be fed. But, the truth is the food is gone. Without you here makes me dead, makes me want to die.
(For full effect, listen to 40 Part Motet- Spem in Alium by Thomas Tallis) 
             Razors Slice            Wrists Bleed         Red Runs Down the Drain.        All of this           to get my mind         to stray away from pain.        My torment gone
I thought my first love will be my last I thought its you that I belong to But now, what I once thought remains as thoughts For you are now waiving goodbye.   All your smiles are for me 
Behind the door there is another lie With these two I don’t even get a break Having to deal with these two until I cry Staying there will be another mistake Was walking away, forgetting it all
  I hate the way you look with your fucking green eyes glistening in the sun That bump on your nose that makes it look like anyone can just ski right off of it
If I told you goodbye, Would you miss me? If I died tonight, No one would miss me. I'm alone in this world, Wandering. A lost soul, Who hopes to be found, But knows, That hope is futile.
Angel, oh angel,Why have you forsaken me,Cast me out for nothing,Thrown me to the ravenges of the dark?All this pain,All this torture,For a simple change in thought?Do you know not what I feel,
We have forgotten, Summer’s last innocence at Sunset, How the colors melt into Oranges and Yellows and Purples… And that faint breeze That Used to tell us We were forgiven.
My daughter, I created you perfectly the way you are Why are you trying to change that? I made you blonde, Not brunette, I gave you blue eyes, Not green
His existence was unintended, Brought to be by raging hormones and rotten nuptials, And that is the life he lived.
  Why I write   all we did was make eye contact.   but in that instant between my blink and her smile  
She enters the setting, With a mindset cluttered in utter agony, But her beaming grin seems so effortless, Despite the distress staining her heart and soul,
The loons call in the night, spreading my heart open. Scarred feet slide across the tile floor, slipping away in her nightgown. Down the newly wet grass gateway, advancing into the shocking water.
You pretend like nothing's wrong with this, you simply like the pain. With others you're happy and bubbly, yet once you return home you're transformed to another being. You wrist becomes a board for cutting,
Drop everything, the pain is calling. Calling from the holes in this battered heart. Calling from the endless void, placed in this soul. The emptiness running through these veins, consumed by hate.
I sit in my room staring at the wall, trying to quiet my mind from its own chaos. I picture in my memory a beautiful color red, darker than a cardinal’s breast spilling onto the floor.
Born into a world were it’s not guaranteed I’ll succeed. I still reach high, breaking stereotypes as I go. I graduated from High School; I am in college. What else is there left to achieve? As I sit and think… LIFE.
Dark brown eyes with a personality that brightens any gloomy situation No one can pronounce the name but remembers the face and the smile
Sick severed lipsHolding my bare hips.Like Achilles heel,The emotional appeal is severed. And though I have no brainI can't really complainOf the wonders in the skyAnd how high I can go.
Before my known days The sun shone splintering rays of diamonds With gorgeous scenery to complement Bliss was rampant Faith out-lasted And dreams materialized into obtainable goals But yet
Why do I write?  Ha Why do you breathe? Why do fish swim? Why do plants photosynthesize? Writing to me is not only a way to express myself, but a suicide prevention plan, an escape from reality,
Why do I write?  Ha Why do you breathe? Why do fish swim? Why do plants photosynthesize? Writing to me is not only a way to express myself, but a suicide prevention plan, an escape from reality,
Two Weeks: Two Weeks Two Weeks too long Two Weeks dragged on Two Weeks ended wrong Two Weeks long gone Two Weeks
She yearns for compassion and love but cant find it Its as if everyone is blindsighted  How can she be strong if hate is ignited everywhere she goes people stop and stare when she judges herself so shamefully,
You could be the most beautiful rose in the garden but a florist could still prefer daisies So don't bend your stem if you weren't picked for the bouquet Because for every year there is a Valentine's day
Just like a butterfly she's hard to catch  Just like a butterfly she's unique  Just like a butterfly she's hard to pair with a match   Just like a butterfly she's a mystery
Behind,this fake smile,Is a  sad,pathetic,ugly,Lil' Girl,Hiding a million tears,Within her "hyper" self,But at night,This all changes,The tears rolling out,like a severe Thunderstorm
Music is for the broken whose will has been abandoned and suicidal thoughts have nested. So quick to contemplate death. Instead a track plays to vibe with the heart and mend the mind to health.
Behind her tears There is anger and sorrow.Behind her fake smilethere is lies and fear. She seems to be all alone,No group to accept her.Everyday she sits alone,No one there to talk to.
Tell me.  If it's all in my head...   Then why is it written all over my body?
my skin holds many secretsboth outsiDe and on the ineach scar has a stOrybottled deep withiN.and jusT because a mark is absentdoesn't mean that patch is pureCuts will scar but scratches fade
I looked up at the Aztec sun/ I knew the world had just begun/ The rain poured down/ Drowning out all sound/ Except the brain-dead taunts they threw/ I took them and I knew/ That there had to be more than this/ More than this Hell we call Earth/ S
On the inside, I'm writhing.   Dueling against myself, Fighting, For possession of the blade.   My body is too full, bursting, with emotion. With tears. with Pain.
1. Piece of metal Repeatedly pressed against my skin Holding my mind for a ransom I paid in blood and tears.  
She sits alone No one by her side She's only nine Everyday and every night that poor little girl cries Her life has been hell on earth Her sister is schizo, bipolar, and very depressed
the nights you get sad or upset you feel abandonded like nobody is there you pick up the blade and slice up your wrist the memories fade  you make a fist i get pissed
I'm sick and tiredof being a constantcatastrophe I'm sick of not seeingbones, but instead,rolls of flesh. I'm sick of all the whispersas soon as I walk away,no one liked me any ways.
I dont cut , I just pierce, Never to deep, but just enough, The pain was never all that deep,
Here to remind him of his past She stares him in the eye, Glaring, for years, it seems to last.   On his arms, by a sleeve she’s masked;
Hour one Spread poinsettias drug to the surface Effervescing their wicked kinship Branching over her body Swarming in depths, Drinking her body She traces herself Bubbling in the bathtub
Try it. When your thoughts are gonna' blow. When you want to cut and see the blood go. Put a pen in hand, and a paper in front. Start to write with your frustration and gut.\Write a poem, write a song.
This book will bleed no blood Only the shrieks of my inner ambition and concept Raw vision. I am a conceptualist and a realist with a superficial story behind my self esteem.
You beckon to me Like a lighthouse beckons To a ship long lost at sea. You fills these chambered walls with dread, Calling in the darkness, Where few men dare to tread.
Size, shape, and color don't matter. Be grateful and smile. Love them the way they are, please don't judge. Look into their personality That's reality
When I was little I would prick myself With pins And needles Waiting to bleed. When I was older I used bobby pins Soft tips torn off. I would gouge And dig And bleed.
They all look at me and think they know my past. They all look and judge my actions. I am scum, a low life, an invalid. I can't be trusted or saved. My life doesn't benefit others because all I bring is pain.
she silently stares at the monsters under her bed chin resting on the knees she has pulled to her chest, eyes as empty as the rhythmic heart beating— out of obligation— between her ribs.
Alright so Sticks and stones wont break my bones but this razor surely scars me. Let it, let it roll of your back let it, let it stay for a sneak attack
The blade to my wrist I'm alone I saw with the knife back and forth back and forth It hurts but not enough I push harder back and forth back and forth The blood
Put down the knife another day is coming No more red drops and keep life going Battle scars are worse in the heart, I know Don't let them on your skin, don't let it show What I'm asking you is please be strong
I remember that day that dreadful, October day. When we dressed and played. I remember fear, coursing through me veins.
Your eyes never lost the sight of my soul, as you took my hand from me, while you wear my gold. My heart longs for you, or so I'm told. 'Cause when I woke one day, you left me
my reflection is looking at me she’s examining every part her body I watch as tears fill her eyes she’s an abomination
Tears stream down my face as my mind begins to scatter Feelings of hopelessness overwhelm my being Depression is no longer a word, it’s a part of me I can’t breathe
the scars on my back show the long nights i had to work. the scars on my back show the srtuggles i been through the scars on my back show the pain i indoored when i lost my grandmother
Normal... it's such a strange thing With its hum-drum ring That makes you want to wheel it into a hospital wing and just let it die
They say smiles fix everything, And I’d like to agree. But that’s hard to do, When my smiles kill me. Looking down at myself, I feel hatred, disgust. Looking in to myself, I don’t know what to trust.
Stand up Take a stand Take a stand for who? A stand for me? A stand for you? A stand for maybe even us? Who is me? Who is you? Who is us? We are who we choose to be.
Listen. Can you hear them? I said listen. They are every and anywhere that I am. Can you hear them? No. Can you hear them the way that I can?
I barricaded myself in my room again, and I cried and cried, just like yesterday. And the day before that.
Those with troubled lives, hear me I eloquently speak with experience, I’ll explain – You’ll see For I know that every waking hour feels like years in your life
You never got to know me. You would never even try. You told me that you would rather I just go home and die.
That awkward moment when somebody walks through you like your not even there They don't even bump you they just walk right through you And it only gets worst Her name is Crystal and i thought I could trust her
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