ptsd

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I forgot I’m forgetting I’m forgotten Since I got away from you for solid years, Built up confidence like a Berlin wall that separated my mind from people like you.
You broke my trust   Now you've lost me I won't come back I won't call I tried And you lost me We won't talk We won't be friends You won't be anything to me You lost me
I could get lost in the beatuy of your eyes Compare the, to the beatuy of nature Crystal blue lakes, perciuos gems I could say they remind me of home Of feeling safe Call your eyes bright as the stars
Jump, fall, land, splat.Who ever said that? Not the twisted face he sees,though it drove him to his knees. Not the voices in the dark,though they surely made their mark.
Dearest Sister, Oh, how you have suffered. Child of infidelity, war, and poverty-- Abandoned by those you loved most, By those who were supposed to love you back.
I think the day you told me That the words ‘post-traumatic stress disorder’ Could be applied to my name Is the day I was truly went crazy.   The day that poems started falling
Keep searching for the lyrics of a broken heart But no words can really express the pain that I feel No one will ever understand the life I have lived So I am left here to write this myself.  
Dear Future Emergency Responder,   There will come a time when you enjoy CPR And others won’t understand why you are excited for another person’s emergency  
Four in the morning, tired, exhausted, can’t sleep because I’m living dead. Life has no purpose, no meaning. you’re born, unwilling parasite you survive, a cog in a machine you never chose to be a part of.
He smiled at me and said 'here, take this' It was a happy little pill of his and it would feel bliss I smiled and gave him a kiss saying, 'thank you baby' But what happened next forever will drive me crazy
He is a monster.His mouth widens to reveal three rows of teeth, and he is covered with blood.My blood.Even though he is hidden in the shadows, his pale skin shines through,Blinding me.When he walks into the light, his demon black eyes shift into a
"how long?"   ten hours, twenty, thirty.   "asleep or awake?"   i don’t know. is it tuesday?
Deeply buried lies the beast Masked by smiles and quiet peace Can't explain, don't want to say Sometimes alone I quietly pray I sob and sob, the uncontrollable shake Oh my God, please crush this beast
The first time you found me, I was a little girl. You told me I could trust you and then you turned around and ruined me.  
It is not physical, People ask about my new "Glow" "How are you such a morning person?" "It's my new skin care routine, y'know?" I lay in bed, trapped in my head I want the voices to stop,
Muted grey Shades of pain Blurry sneers My arms stretched out Coils freeze on my limbs Hanging above soulless concrete
Too close tooclosetooclose  Please don’t touch me  Oh god please don’t yell.  Too closetooclose. TOO LOUD. Too much.
Crooked ladies and shadowed men creep from under my doorViolent screams from my sister's lips Cries for help bleed from my brother All I can do is watch as my f
Please do not touch me like that, for others have in the past;   they were more invasive and it makes me remember everything  that I drink to forget.
  I catch a glimpse of your dimples when you laugh, Thinking to myself, Why are you still here?   I watch as you water the garden we planted together, Thinking to myself, Why are you still here?
A mom sits by Her dumpling's bed, Watches him closely Making sure he doesn't bump his head.   He diddles to the left, And diddles to the right; Shaking and shivering,
Being myself is so hard sometimes. I am a muslim woman. I am also a vietnamese woman. I am a bisexual Vietnamese muslim woman. I am part of the first generation in my family born outside of Vietnam.
I am fifteen years old and I think I own the world. I have a boyfriend and he loves me. He yells at me but that is okay, he loves me. He shoves me but that is okay, he loves me.
you told me, i’m a fighter, you told me, you’d always be here. you were your sister’s protector, and I’m my brother’s keeper, you suffered
The soft whisper of a butterfly wing  And the hushed conversation of the rustling grass Call me to the garden swing, Where I can reminisce about my past.   I watch the evening sky transform
This winter is cold and heavy, The frost nipping at my toes, But I know someone with a bigger bite, I cannot escape.   The red snow follows every step, Little red, Little red,
  Hide Is all I can say Before the hollow thud of boots cross the floor I hold my younger brother to my chest
Midnight, A cold night in November. 
Him
                     And I see him in someone's sideways smirk,                               someone's endless brown eyes,                             someone's smile when they laugh.  
Uninspired Unwelcome America has never been great I banged my head against walls To get out of school Because I couldn’t face my abusers anymore
He long time now flown into state having 30 years been discharged for its funny how still I await the day when he'd return from war
Where do I run And where do I hide? Where do I go So I don’t have to fight?   They tell me I’m wrong But I’m so scared. They tell me to face it, But I am fear.  
You never thanked grandma Rita for the card stand in your room naked eating tortilla chips don’t let a mirror catch in its line of sight or fall into oblivion and sing Italian opera  
Her eyes, So deeply unsettling, As I watched The tragedy unfold.   Her hair, Tangled in his fist, Was used
Tell me a secret. Tell me something no one else knows. Tell me something no one else understands. Tell me a secret.   Come here. Closer. Closer. Do you wanna know a secret?
I hear her scream I hear her tiny footsteps in the hallow way  Her shallow breathing quickening my heart She is an empty shell of the person I knew Her soft skin that used to soothe me is abused by her confusion
Night  it's to be a time of rest and restart yet all I know is how it tears apart a family a love a being   it was night that a young girl had her heart shattered
I had a nightmare last night.I stood in the middle of an empty road,In an empty town,Just waiting.For what I don't know.But there I stood.In the silent,The nothingness,
The dust settled, The battle was over, I had won the war.   Hundreds of corpses lay on the ground, Blood ran in rivers, But I had won the war.   Gun smoke hung in the air,
I can only describe her in phrases that don't make sense  in images  in times of night  or metaphors. She isn't real and never will be again.  She's dead. I'm not. Ironic.  She comes in waves
I am a ration cabinet.   Every time you squeeze through my doors, under the loose chain, you take bits and pieces of me. 
Life went well;   graduation, a car, college.   Still, life was incomplete and I yearned.   Materials and tangible satisfied others and they do I,
Drink, drink, yell, yell, hit hit The little girl is the target Swing and throw until she falls down Go to the lake and try to drown
I remember those things so well In my mind forever Reliving it is complete hell Forgetting would be better
Children of God in the youth psych ward walking like the dead lights in the windows too high to reach black pits in your stomach where you swear your Soul used to be
My life was a whirlwind of suffering, but only within my mind. My day to day hardships don't always happen in real time. My life was dark, dead, and dreary.
Image: Aging Hourglass by Muskan Srivastava   She is cold on the ground, I think. Her body has not reached decomposition, yet And that is good for the funeral director.
They say beauty is painAnd she's beautifully brokenShe's left hallow and emptyBut her thoughts go unspoken
I sit here in the darkness and I write these rhymes Calmin’ down my sanity turn it to a clarity I don’t do it for the fame, I just wanna focus and survive
This dream, it's haunting me a horrible picture where you die. For whatever reason I can't shake it from my mind flashbacks, leading to panic attacks all because of that tragic night.  
It’s amazing, really I’m doing well I laugh with my friends And have normal conversations… It’s amazing, really My thoughts are hidden
He stares at his ceiling It's half past four It's paranoia he's feeling He looks at his door No one will come Yet, he still tries to run Away from his demons They scare him a ton
bomb rhymes with mom but my mom is a bomb-- ticking away from the things that she saw. you would never think and I had never thought that my mom would get caught in government claws
if you asked me to write down all my trivial thoughts i remember on a daily basis, there wouldn't be many. maybe a melody of laughter with friends or blurry faces brushing by in the hall or
Beautiful places, hidden yellow things. A shadow sipping tonics, whiskeys and gins.   Ordinary people, can embody sin. The man in the moonlight, trying to forget.  
Never scream. The one unspoken rule, the one and only coveted truth.Not when she cries, not when he lies,Not even with maggot-like fingers caressing your thighs. Never, ever scream. 
An edged exterior envelopes  a fiery burning soul.  Flaming compassion burns through, masked by lidded eyes.  The scent of metal and cologne hugs,  clings,  burns through, 
They asked where I was yesterday."Home" is an easy reply.But what made me have a nervous facewas the question, "Why?"
I guess you could say that I have a lot of friends I've never met a stranger and My friendships have no end and I say that not to brag but to say they don't depend
Can't sleep My brain plays on repeat- can't sleep, can't sleep The chant so loud it drowns out the lack of sound Quiet! Can't you see, I'm trying to sleep? But my own brain is playing tricks on me
Blink The worst things happen when All I can see is the back of my eyelids Blink But blink fast or you'll miss everything But how would you know? You're eyes are closed
I'm alone and can't sleepThere's no one here but meI'm stuck with all these memoriesIf they could only see
Buddha, Shakespeare, Albert Einstein, Squanto. These are some of the greatest influences in my life. Buddha once said “What we think, we become”; who the hell would have known the mind, the human brain, was such a powerful organ.
Why won’t I get it?   I have friends both male and female. I go to parties. I’m social with others. I do all these things and yet Whenever I hear my loved one does it as well My brain tells me
Stop. Close your eyes. Count 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. . .  Breathe.   Rinse and repeat
The longest journey Is finding joy. And it's hard to find In one certain boy. To use a cliche, He's been through hell, And things aren't going To turn out well. Everything is a trigger,
A Light, Yet FarThrough dark and dreary roads, I traveled.Soon all light began to fade, and die.Losing all hope and will to live,Traveling through a far and distant land,
Depression and anxiety,Those things that try to come back to me.O and that PTSD,
Some day I hope I will be happy and free And rid of all the pain Of PTSD It's hard to explain the pain The thoughts of a young Marine Screaming as he was dying.
I live in fear but not for me...for someone who has PTSD. He doesn't worry as much as I do but to me, he's braver than us two. He controls his anger and his hurt He is someone that I will never desert. His laugh, his smile and the light in his eye
The apple of your eye The wind beneath the leaves Every word is a lie And nothing is as it seems The pain could always wane The cuts and bruises will heal But when my memories freely rein
An angel can't fly with defeathered wings. This angel won't cry, Nor will she sing. Beaten and bruised Tattered and worn. As pretty as a Rose But She's distorted by thorns.
Who said the wind does not sing who said the roses do not bloom  who said I cannot love myself     At age six  she tried to dull my wind  she tried to clip my roses 
The words come slipping out before you can stop them like bullets and from the looks on their  faces you know nothing said now will stop the bleeding but Goddamit, what should you apologize for?
It is a dense fog As thick as pea soup Struggling to suffocate me Eyes unable to see mere inches ahead   It is a storm cloud overhead  Ominous and dark Filled with rain about to drown me
This is normal says the teacher Talking about the emotions Of a person in a book And suddenly I am not in the class   I am five again His hands wandering to places they shouldn't
I can’t sleep in complete darkness I can’t sleep in total silence Because bad things happen in places like that When no one can see your tears Or hear you breathing heavily
The first crack is the worst, 
I don't remember much from the hospital The white walls The smell of clean diseases The prick of a needle in my arm The dizziness becoming clear again   I don't remember when the doctor told me
For me, anxiety is the feeling that I am always being watched. Anxiety is staying awake because you're afraid of what can happen tomorrow.
I can stare a thousand yards and never see a thing   I can share a thousand thoughts and never even sing   I can live a thousand lives and take them all in vain  
The door finally closes, another day spent, Another act finished, but I’m not content.   I look in the mirror, stare into my eyes – Were they fooled today by my act, my disguise?  
  Why did I put up a fight
Inside, around, behind what's in my mind? Flashbacks tons of flashbacks. I wiggle, I scream hes too mean. I can't get away but you think I did it to  myself.  
Timing freezes, muscles tense, lungs start gasping for every breath The room starts spinning, the edges blur, hearts is running, running from death
One word
Every time the sky cries, She rains too For in the thunder, their voices echo In the flashes, pieces flicker, Yet never stay And in each new drop, a new image For her to see and not understand.
THE TIME WHEN YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE THE GREATEST PEOPLE THOUGHT YOU WERE THE FAKIEST THE TIME WHEN YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE POWERLESS COWARD LESS BRAVE NESS YOUR CHEST FEELS LIKE ITS ABOUT TO CAVE IN THE TIME WHEN YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE THE PRETTIEST THE...
     I woke up on a dirty mattress on the floor of a friends house. It's my 16th birthday. A huge milestone in a young persons life.
The deep red, velvety curtain shades her from reality A mask to hide all sorrows This thick wall of shame to cover all past sins and tragedies.   
Daddy’s away,
                                                        I keep reminding myself                                                          everything will be okay
The shattered pieces of my psyche scatter across the arid land as a result of the unspeakable horrors witnessed after months of containment. I attempt to pick up a shard only finding my hand to become ravaged like the men around me.
In war, there are no winners other than the war itself.  If you get out of war alive there is still a piece of you that was wounded.  I protected the country I love,  from people who want to hurt MY FAMILY. 
Unicorn and Dragon, Water to heal, Soul refreshed.   Girly, Childish, But so beautiful.   This Lurked within me This Let me heal.  
Shifting eyes, tight throat, hiding my face as I watch the class make fun of a girl for sharing her issues     about PTSD
Bombs all around me Shrapnel hits my skin I can feel my life fading I’m about to give in   Then my Corpsman came
There is something wrong with my insides They are too still, too silent The wind blows and my brain tries to compensate so it has become my skin, my shield it complains jesus it's cold
There is something wrong with my insides They are too still, too silent The wind blows and my brain tries to compensate so it has become my skin, my shield it complains jesus it's cold
People use the word "crazy" like it's a drug."Did you see that video? It was so crazy!" "That exam was crazy hard, I don't think I passed."
Evil thoughts but love in the heart This shits about to tear me apart  from my brain im insane a basket case you wont like this hate\ the energy i bring
You all sit back an see the things you want to see You have no clue what we can all be   inside this downward slide I confide that your all enemies in my eyes  
Soldier Who Soldier who trains all day and night And counts the days until departure who is conditioned and unyielding who is a dog tag and bayonet whose hair is always shaved
Broken home Broken heart Torn from the inside out Just ripped apart ……………………………….. You’re behind my scars
The room goes blank.
shut them out, as I suffer to breathe Where are the words? Can we talk instead of scream? My opinion remains unheard   The violent escapade  on the frigid ground, I laid he charged at me, 
Curled up shaking no where to hide, cold steel and brass next to my side. Headphones in but hearing the screams, red stained dirt vivid in my dreams. Not you but ME I shoud have died.  
Some days I imagine a field of glassendless and shimmering:whispers on the wind of the children who once playedof the women who once loved.Some days I imagine a sky of graynuclear ash
Her condition is that she is a walking contradiction, for she is a soul burning with hot fire and coals born into the coldest winter ever.   She’s living in hell amongst demons yet some say she looks heavenly.  
In the field, on your toes, eyes always open.Blink, you're dead.
Hey little birdy, The one by my window; I see your colourless wings so sturdy And those dark eyes so hollow. Birdy, take me with you.  I want your freedom; I want to fly in the blue.
There's something less than vaguely human on this face Something that speaks to terror and violence and hands curled as claws in the night, muscles twitching for blood  
I am seventeen, and I have never met one as young as me to suffer from PTSD.   All I want is attention. I just cause tension. I'm faking it. Exaggerating it.  
For too long, anxiety and depression have been the rulers of my life.             A ruthless king and his queen, with faces of iron and eyes of flame. Trauma is the groom, waiting for PTSD, his soon-to-be wife.
In the darkness and the rain,My life will never be the same.The driver crossed into my lane,And for my trauma is to blame.
  What a beautiful color, red, she said And smashed it down with her hand Orange is pleasant as well, I can tell! And crushed it according to plan. Green, so keen, a fervent shade
When we got the call that he ended it all My heavy tears flowed down my cheeks. My pen and paper took the pain as my hands shook.
Childhood dreams from the soul before p.t.s.d had swallowed me whole, going to save the world from itself, but now I can't even save me myself. After 'he' had robbed me of my life,
Look in a mirror and see a monster The hate inside, fighting to take control In school they don’t see, at least not really They see a person not a monster I see so much of him inside of me
He says he’s broken all the time, there’s something wrong with his head: There are monsters in there that push to get out. It’s almost funny because he’s the most whole person I’ve known.
I wobble my way down the narrow hallway my thoughts are an epic mess the bright light I'm following is so far away yet I feel I can grasp it I must confess.
Seeing him walk away from me again Never knowing if he will return All they say to me is he is a Hero But I can see him pulling away from me
Hello my name is Benjamin Like I don’t know what rhymes with Benjamin Or this bed I’m in All I know is how dead I’ve been
It's a whole other world where you live, a web you spun with your own intent. Your lungs can breathe easily here and it's easy to hide in the dark.
There are faces swimming in your vision Memories you'd much rather forget Nightmares in the daytime Tears you always regret They taunt you with their freedom The injustice of reality
Me
If only I knew what to do with my life and everything else that comes my way There be no problems, no crossroads, just me in a daze Thinking about the next step, everyone just on the lookout …to see if I fail or if I fall out
Inside me there's a life I may not give the chance To live nor To be a kid Nor To grow big I feel you baby Mommy is here Yet please my child Understand This world is evil
Sin
I don't know who I am The white in my life blew out I don't know where I stand At thirteen my soul was left in doubt The only white The purity The innocence... of me Taken in the dark
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