panic attack

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the mingled stench of green seaweed and salty waves  cascades the nostrils of the adolescent girl.
I felt a monster climb its way up my throat Choking on tears, I watched my hands tremble My breath shortened & I felt powerless I dry gagged & finally heaved "The monster won," I'd quote.  
Weeping Small watery beads fall like tiny diamonds. Glittering as the sunlight sprouts from their surfaces in prismatic tints.
I open the window So I don’t suffocate But the air doesn’t reach my lungs As I try to count my breaths   Monday I came in to see you
Pressure keeping me in a state of mind Though it's not fine Desperation in my eyes
It's ok   I'm alright   Just breathe   Out for 3   In for 3   I'm fine   I'm not alone
My heart is heavy. It is a bomb planted inside me, Ready to explode within the walls of my chest.     My chest is tight. My lungs fail me.
Too loud, too loud Eyes drowned, head bowed Clap hands over ears Fingers leave bruises But must hold in the music To suspend myself from reality Hear rhythm rapping the only words that make sense
Too close tooclosetooclose  Please don’t touch me  Oh god please don’t yell.  Too closetooclose. TOO LOUD. Too much.
the soft tapping crackingof an eggshell on a countertopbrings me to a place that I never thought I would be
Choking, squeezing/ Breath gone/ Eyes dark/ Oh, wherefore art thou,/ O serotonin?/   Mind racing/ Deborah pacing/  Confusion mounting/ Behind my eyes, they're shouting/ Yes, no, maybe so/  Static, static, white noise/  Shake and flap/ Senseless sc
A small bottle A brush  Heavy paper   Covered in crevices    And teeth           Pressure       It takes pressure
Words, shuffling Perfect ballet Ribbons, ribbons, ribbons Choreographed anarchy Compressing thoughts into a tight tight ball Until I can't tell what's what What is what What is what Waves
In the course of an hour, I had stared into the eyes of my enemy. I said nothing. I did nothing, I swear to it. 
I'm shaken, I'm shaking but not from the thunder pretty soon then, my heart booms but not from the lightning The weather outside is nothing compared to the way I feel when anxious, hyper, and scared
Close your eyes, Breathe in deep, Shut out the world, Listen to the beat. Earbuds in and volume up, I lean back and listen. Slow down my heart beat, Expand my constricted lungs,
I’m having a panic attack, help. My chest heaves, and I can’t quite breathe. Help, please, I plead.   Silently I wait for my negative thoughts to disappear.
It's like an earthquake. The world shifts around you, Shaking your heart, shaking your mind, Shaking your control until it crumbles away Leaving you both helpless and defenseless,
It is something that is invisible and difficult to see yet at the same time you know something is wrong with me the feeling of an invisible knife that pierces through the heart
tick tock. tick tock. you’re running out of time. you’re going to be too late. tick tock tick tock
The void is speckled purple and yellow And I am floating above it             overwhelmed by nausea And I don’t know why I haven’t yet fallen in.   Space hurtles around me ever cyclical And I am here
Trying to ignore this stuff inside my head the feelings I feel, The things that I said It's not me, you see I am caught up in a bubble I feel I am not here and sometimes seeing double
  In a dark dungeon.   Screams and cries- echoing off the black walls.   Normalcy turned freak. Unanswered panic. Heart beating out. Crying bloody, bloody murder.  
Sometimes, things hit a little too close to home too close for comfort other times, things hit home with a resounding boom, you'll hear everything come crashing around you
~a heart once so pure Heavy with burdens ~Smiles turn to gold Shy to break, soft to hold ~molded in flawless to be just flaws ~A heavy broken smile is all I am
look into my eyes  you will see blue  look into my heart 
Chorus:   I'm stressed out A lot of stuff on my mind, I don't know what to do I'm stressed out I just want to be alone, so I'm sitting in my room I'm stressed out
Once there was a man who left and his little girl was sad she cut her wrists and bleed for him as she wished to call him, dad there was an incident that spurred the path the family was split
It. Starts. Slow, A tremor shaking low in the bones Consumes the skull And squeeze squeeze squeeze the whole.   Tick, tick, tick, tick, The clock on the wall goes down
i claim exertion to the separation of curtains and search of sanctum,
A thought races Quickly and quietly Through the trenches of my mind It lasts only a moment And it fades forever into nothingness   I turn Again, as if by nothing more than black magic,
Friday I need to deposit this check and I need to buy food. But I fear the banker’s scowl and that cashier who was rude. I forget the proper way to fill in the deposit slip
Dark arms reach up inside my mind, slithering through, coating my thoughts with a thick film. They become obscure.   Now the bombs explode, cascading silent sparks- the clanking pots and pans
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