mental illness

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I'm pacing in a public hallway And the people staring at me need to- Mind their business    I'm waiting for you to text me back
Press you down And run you along. Your pointed sharp end, Draws a line on my skin. Dull pain leaves, Revealing only a faint, Raised pink line. Not enough, Not what I wanted.  
Darkness surrounds It seeps within  It makes you think it’s the end  It makes you question everything From being to end   No one can see your struggle for
Do you remember that time at that place with those people? How could I forget? Omg that was the best! I totally miss it! Remember that time that you were crying in the bathroom and I pretended I didn’t hear you? Oh yeah!
Cadbury eggs at 1 AM How much lower could you be? I know that it does not mean much But it could be two or three?   Besides don’t I deserve this? For waking up before it was 2
I start out young Cloudy, foggy No lighthouses in my mind Shying away from my Kind Stressed Depressed And, ultimately, Repressed Infortune weighing heavily I sigh  
growing up the antonym of easythe symptoms hit meand everything changed   I am still the samebut in some ways I amdifferent  
I have grown up six times. The first time, I was stitting on a couch, watching television when my father stormed in with eyes red as hot embers yelling at my mother who pretended she didn't remember cheating
Crying, crying, crying. Looking straight at the barren white wall. My roommate was nowhere to be found, So I knew I could let it all out.   But why, why, why Was I crying so damn much?
 I see Brian's head cracking against the concrete and his chest halt, his brawny frame taking its last breath on the asphalt. I see the boy whose name I cannot rip from my lips with a gun to his head, and the trigger he grips paints the wall red. 
Had a foreboding stranger preemptively prophesied to my girl-self – Of the past two years I endured, with the hollowed bones of a bird Readily acquiescent to the beguiling caress of death
My therapist said that I might have PTSD;that the sight of any bug in my bed may send   me into hysterics. She says that I’m scythingtoo much skin off around my ankles, and my    
Who she was dwindled away as the years went on, I didn't really notice then she was gone,  She decieved me, As her eyes crystalized and her words heated me,
I have never been able to say the words out loud. But I definetly know without a doubt, my uncle is gone He left in what seemed like the blink of an eye.  A suprise visit the week before Turkey day 
there is a monster that lives in my bones it has sharp claws, deep roots, black-hearted and empty-stomached it sucks at my marrow slowly slowly   its roots are not contained: they spread
How to get through The Bad Year   Come home from school every day and cover yourself with blankets
Cant you hear it?there is musicfrom behind the walls.whimsical windits callingbegginglisten listen listen
From swing sets and slides To broken hearts and teary eyes From riding bikes and wishing we were older To realising it’s not as warm as we think It’s colder. When my parents first split
Is there a point to all this? Some sense of release hidden behind years of Doubtful ventures into nothing.   Can I outstretch these fastened wings, And search for some greater feeling,
I was walking to the park The sign said it was closed after dark, I don't care The air was cool It could've been colder   I saw a man sitting on a bench Taking turns between his beer and cigarette
Some of you may say I'm a nutter My tongue is smothered with peanut butter Like a newly-shined shoe, no area is left untouched However, this coating should have stayed in my lunch
It’s 12:47 AM. You’re asleep, all tucked in bed  your head resting against the pillows of feathers plucked from white geese. 
Stop counting those calories, storm. You look fine. I know, and I've got it under control. Eat your food. You're scaring me. I've got it under control. If you can, try to eat twice a day.
People say there are five stages of grief Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance Some people move on more quickly than others, and some never move on at all
It was a sunny day The day I decided to die Grabbing fate by the wrist, telling her “no more. I’m done playing your rules” I smiled
You say I’m letting my health take the back seat If you'd look closer you would see it’s not there Search a little longer and you’d find a locked trunk
I am high and low I wonder who I really am I hear myself saying I’m alright I see a struggle I don’t know if i can pass I want for my friends not to have to worry
Shuck-Lily cuts herself and, by God, I'm back in love again, This is not my responsibility, So why am I tending to you like an animal?  
Pressure keeping me in a state of mind Though it's not fine Desperation in my eyes
How are you doing?I guess I'm okayNo, you're notI'm not okayYou're still aliveI guess I amYou're still in painOf course I am
  Through these perilous roads Under the cover Of the night sky Glaring forces Spring from the darkness And with pain at the temples
Hi, I’m Mentally Ill but Is this actually a surprise?  I mean were you not able see past my fake smiles, my fake laughs and the fake face I put on each and everyday.
Standing at the top of this hill, I sit, stand, and laugh at hell, Thinking, "What a perfect reflection we see of ourselves."   With respect, "I know it may seem cold to say just what I see,
one) a boy who speaks with a thick accent. always gets up in the middle of group sessions to ‘use the bathroom’.
Rest your head upon my fragile shoulder, Let my bones be your tired pillars. Craving death, it's nothing new You always tell me of your ache to bleed Your soul has been starved
I'm´ drownin´ in my head, I just can't stop thinking,Maybe soon this heart will stop, so the thoughts will too.You're mind is scarred
within us all lives a thing not a creature not a being just an inescapable indescribable thing we keep it hidden deep in a dark corner of our minds we all want to forget about
I’m sorry, I️ can’t go out with you today Why? Because I’m sick, is what I️ say It’s easier to tell a half truth, then explain why I️ am sick
Stamped Denied.By: Fabiola Rios 
Ink on a page Filled with color Lines of stories never told Sequences of secrets Never unfold People never breathed into creation
Late at night, the broken spirits sit on barstools, hunched over the counter like question marks They ponder their place in this world They drown their sorrows in bourbon to escape the outer flood attempting to engulf them
I'm just the wicker man. Burning in the fire, flaming pyre. Who's the one to blame when things go awry? Just me. Scapegoat, dry eyes, sore throat. I can't scream, it hurts.
I wasn’t always this lost, my days consumed by chaos An era where everything makes me nervous And every other day my mood drops, and rises It’s always a fight to find my way through this mind fog
"Does it make you happy, To burn the world around you? To set everything ablaze and watch as chaos reigns? Why?  When the Earth burns, you burn with it." "That's the idea."
Inhale. My hands shake, my head aches, my chest heaves.  Panic, fear, doubts are all I hear.  It’s a silent but seen demon that creeps, and steals and ruins. 
I have been beaten and shamed My heart has broken, my mind has fallen apart But surrounded by my struggles I’m still standing.  
Taking a day's anxiety and turning it into a burning desire by walking into a kitchen and make a flambe with fire.   Turning a day of self doubt into an impeccible entree,
my head is constantly telling me I am scared, I am anxiety chest hurts, nervous, taking prescriptions panic attacks, pain, and other mind numbing symptoms but through and through I try to find hope
I laugh along so people assume it’s a joke I cry inside, though they don’t see I’m broke I feel numb and blame it on the loss of sleep But this sleep I’m not getting, derives from the happiness I can’t keep
i don't really know what i'm doing here. really, i'm just trying to get by. i don't think life has a purpose, but that doesn't matter. my life has no direction, but somehow, i have a natural optimism. an optimism that is
She looks at the mirror with glistening tears staring at what nobody else could ever see. Scars invisible to the world mar all of her thoughts in regard to what she could be and what she sould see
I see it over there on the horizon and dread what it is to come. Knowing there is no escaping makes me feel all numb. Oh why on why do I feel this way, I thought I got help.
You brought me into the world, So gracefully, You told me you were actually supping soup, Happily.   The connection I had with you, Very closely, So safe I felt, Much security.  
People I know so well, Attempt to embrace me, Met with, Half-measured enthusiasm.   Birthdays, Weddings, and festivals Everyone is united,  Shared joy, Feel locked in a room,
An icon, but she’s not just pretty. Originally known as Norma Jeane, Marilyn Monroe proved she was witty. The fifties, you could see her in any scene.
this room of stained carpet, of watermarked cherry dressers, and of desks cluttered with pens and notes of well-wishes is my suicide draft
I once read a story a long time ago that depression was like a bad dog who creeps up on you slow. I have bipolar it's an ugly disease another kind of bad dog who never really leaves.
Come, come, come with me Let’s embrace each other,  seep into me. It’s warm and deep.   But there’s something underneath.  
trauma is a teacher fired from catholic boarding school its leather bound ruler raps your knuckles “pay attention!” it barks “the world will not rest for you, lazy girl!” “the world is cruel and cold, a demon
Not all mentors are positive I’ve come to realize In fact, mine is quite causative Of things from which I agonize   He calls himself Pierre And he hides inside my head
I wish  you were not here  but since you are be my fuel   It's hard to breathe and it's hard to focus but you are here be my fuel   It takes so much to do so little
When I wrote her love songs, you cried because they were “Just that good.” And I was falling and falling and falling.
Born of a minority race Adorned of comments and nitpicking You grow a thick skin when subjected to Adolescent Bullying    Spitting image of an Abuser Mother couldn’t take it
A gnashing cruelty and an unfading whine like A VCR spilled over with vase-water, Keeps the shadowed part of me Beating; It is not a reflection of the Upbringing that
Depression sulks in the basement, Shrouded in his darkened cloaks,Whispering promises of a never present end.
ok
is this ok? am i ok? is it ok that i exist?   always the questions  that continue to persist in the mind of mankind   always the struggle  to overcome to continue in a game
ok
is this ok? am i ok? is it ok that i exist?   always the questions  that continue to persist in the mind of mankind   always the struggle  to overcome to continue in a game
I am a caricature of a whisper My breath tries and fails to stand on its’ own Not daring to speak my truth The only escape through the pages I am named for
You are a galaxy. A collection of beautiful fragments that shine.   You are a galaxy. The planets that orbit your mind are home to brilliance.  
I hesitate. Replaying your comment in my head. Say something. Say anything. Speak up. Speak OUT. But enough though I want to, I don't say anything.   I don't.
 by Ariel Douglas (8 October 2014)   Sometimes I feel like I’m all alone even though I know You’re right beside me. Sometimes I think I’m on my own
Sweet soft rhymes rhythmic against ears so eager Eat every word with sweet salivating stealth Poems provoke pieces of me Hanging on the quatrain I quiver through questions of who I am
Puppet   Trigger warning: rape, eating disorder, mental illness, self-harm   I have always been your doll You’ve always just sat there and watched me fall
it never stops the noise within  no breaks no holidays no timeouts  Consistency  Intensity waves of volume weigh me down particular voices come to mind always pessimestic
Speak not of my bloodied chest, but pray instead for some forgotten justice !   Fair Lady Wind, your presence is as welcome as the flow of my precious life-blood. I will evermore search of your beauteous 
How can anyone love me? I have too many issues... Not who I want to be. My feelings are misused.   I choke on my words. You say I’m shy…
The little girl Could just not sleep Because her thoughts Were way too deep Her mind had gone Out for a stroll And fallen down
there’s a woman who wasn’t the best mother   she had depression it was quite sad even tried to take her life  
IT GETS BETTER. It seems like such a cliche. Honestly, I know how it sounds, and how those words make you feel: annoyed, devalued, misunderstood. It seems like a lie, it feels impossible,
i don’t know how to describe it, the burning in my throat the tingle on my lips.   It’s something sinister, searching for something to kill.   It spent It’s time
the best part of the norovirus is that while it robs you of your breath, leaves you sweat-shaking with hot chills in bed it also steals your appetite finally, to be empty by no willpower of my own
I am trapped inside my body the shell of a girl who cries at the thought of breakfast, lunch and dinner or the days when I say "fuck it" and eat how I should just to be punished by someone screaming
It's funny how stuff works out, No matter how loud I shout, You can't hear. It's funny how shrill I cry, Funny how much I try To disappear. But it's the holiday season, so what is my reason to die?
Sometimes I want to be dead, But usually, I don't.  After all, it's all in my head,  So, of course, I certainly won't. But I don't want to be alive, At least not alive like this.
I believe I'm nocturnal Why may you ask? Because sleep doesn't exist at night but you see, nocturnals at least sleep during the day So I must be a vampire but vampires have a lot of energy
We. Are. Dying. Welcome to hell!  Welcome to the fucked up generation of pill poppers and suicidal kids and anxiety and mental illness Welcome to our 3 AM our 2: 20 PM
 Dear Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, You have me on the edge of my seat shaking my head to rid myself of unwanted thoughts. My mind is a race because of you.
To my depression:  I spent too long loving you and being held hostage to the warmth you’d radiate because I was always so cold
I stand outside. Outside of the boundaries you set for me. Why am I outcasted from this "perfect world". Yet, if this world is so perfect, why is anyone outcasted? I'm tired. Tired of feeling alone.
dear brain, the thing is, we’re screwed. the thing is, we’re at the end of the line.
Dear Ana, I know, I know I failed, I know I should have done better. I know, I know, I know. I’ll find you one day, I promise. I almost had you, but I let go. I let them take you away from me.
Dear Obsess Obsess Obsess Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Are you really sure we need to keep Checking and washing And checking
Dear You, Remember when we met? Summer before eighth grade The sun dripped honey and the leaves whispered secrets But You
Dear Depression,   You made hospitals feel like home, And home feel like hell. You took an innocent little girl, And made her a troublesome teen.   You ruined my idea of love,
there's something in my brainit's pounding at my skullit's so angry and it's so sadthere's nowhere i can run
You told me to try and write happy poems So it would therefore be wrong of me To not make such an attempt I give you this As I figure out how to write "happy": Without you, I would be dead,
I think the day you told me That the words ‘post-traumatic stress disorder’ Could be applied to my name Is the day I was truly went crazy.   The day that poems started falling
I’m kind of sick and kind of sad But if I’m honest Neither one really fits ‘Cause only a few have hearts good enough For life to take an ice cream scooper And dig the carton of their soul hollow
To whomsoever that it may concern: I write this as a spirit looking back, Back, back, to you, and hope that you may learn
Last night of October—we lay on the floorWarmly aligned from our shoulders to hipsBy the orange soda fizz of a loud movie scoreLast night of October—we lay on the floorIn the dusty blue attic beneath the trapdoor
Hey little me, How is 9th grade treating you? Still scared of talking to boys? Still terrified to admit you like girls? I know your grades are slipping. And no, it's not because you're stupid
To the person I have been:  You were a young girl who carried the weight of the world on your shoulders. You were a sea of consciousness,
Do you ever have those days where your blood rots in your veins, your stomach sinks and your skin itches, your bones burn into dust.
Dear future lover, I am not easy to love. I am unworthy. I will shower you in affection and yet feel as though I do not deserve yours
we are monsters together, huddled under the bed of our childhood selves, keeping each other warm when there is nothing to eat but nightmares.
The worst part is that no matter who I am with I am lonely So lonely that I will slice open my skin bag in hopes that I will find friends in my scars But I never do I only find blood
It was the way he chewed on his nails until his fingers were raw.  The way he trembled and studdered and looked around like he was watching out for something.  Fidgeting and stumbling on his words,
don’t-pick-up-the-phone-please-don’t  
I'm sorry I'm such a mess and you gotyourself tangled up in this but pleasedon't fucking leave me because thesky and the stars and the moon don'treally make sense without you  
Dear Past Me, You are only just beginning a long and tiring journey to find who you are and to let go of who you never truly were.   It is a journey that will wear you down to your core until you are struggling
It's like they ask you to play a video game and you're expected to win. You try your best, but there's a ball of wool   in front of the screen. Occasionally your fingers go numb
dear depression-   you, the first face i see, lying on the pillow next to me a shameless smile as you try to convince me, "stay in bed today"  so i stay  and i stay
I see the world in black and grey. You call it dull, but I like it that way. Through all of the heartbreak and all of the pain, the world looks better in the black and the grey. No room for emotions.
Every time you ask me how I'm doingI tell you I'm goodThat life is greatThat I'm happyWhat I didn't tell youIs that I haven't slept in three daysThat my mind is exhaustedWhat I didn't tell you 
Dear you,   If you haven't heard it today I believe in you, even though we've never met. I believe in you because I know it is hard to believe in yourself,
You needed me.
Dear Attention Deficit Disorder, I would appreciate you more if you were further away, If you were something to march for, Not something to fight, It's not fun to live this way, I want out.  
Stop twitching every time you mumble those around you worrythey wonder what you say under your breath when you make those jokes people get uncomfortable unsure of whether to laugh along
dear past, present, and future self, you fall in love at thirteen it is may and you are sick again delicate and easy prey you are but you pray
Dear Depression,   Are you enjoying yourself? This is another day. Why can’t you just leave me! You rest on me like dust on an unused bookshelf. You bring nothing but distaste; I wonder what it must be
I have devils in my pocket. Two little devils. They snag crumbs from my plate, They wait patiently outside the shower, They sit on my night stand as I sleep. Sometimes they are more noticable,
writing’s gotten harder than it used to be leaves thickening, stars playing games with the sticks they throw at me
I don't want you to think it's over This is just the beginning Let repetition kill the potency Of the demons’ chant “we’re winning” Listen just one more time
  In my darkest moment,  You were there to cradle me Somehow you became my opponent Preventing me from being free   You and I together Perpetuated my pain The way dark and stormy weather
I've been moving my lips for years and years,but no words burst forth, there are so few listening ears.  I search and I search for someone who would understand,but my fears and failures seem so out of hand.  All these faces around me- I quiver lik
the days you spend no longer feeling the familiar ache in your chest noticing how at ease you feel wondering how long this feeling has been here but you were too unaware to notice grateful but confused
a hole in the heart, a gap in the soul. the ever-widening rift of fear, isolation, and paranoia, cracking the mind.
If there is one thing I want,it is to not be a wasted life.I want to say I did things for people.I want to saythat I became a playground for everyone’sdemons,a place for people to leave what won’t
The sun never shines 
Did you know there's a tiny immeasurable space between everything? No matter how close you are to something, you'll never actually be touching.  
I'd grind a mirror to dust with my bare hands if it meant I never had to look at myself again.   I'd burn every book I own
Don't forget to take your medicine; because I love you. Talk to me about how you're feeling; because I love you. Are you having a rough day? I promise you'll be okay. Just lay with me for now. Because I love you.  
Memories of being miserable taint all my favorite places. Like seeing someone   that makes you uneasy for the first time in years.
Depression is not eating for days. Depression is greasy, unbrushed hair. Depression is laying on the couch for hours, crying, fighting an internal battle to get up and do something.
you are more than I deserve than I will ever deserve you are the cool and glorious rains that fall blissfully to the scorched lands that have been plagued  by drought
you are more than I deserve than I will ever deserve you are the cool and glorious rains that fall blissfully to the scorched lands that have been plagued  by drought
I can be pleasant   engaged, inviting.   Giving off warmth like a space heater. I can also be cold   short, and sometimes impolite. Sometimes absent and     detached.  
How can you smile knowing that peopl are dying because they are sick of trying to appease the critics, to appease the man, to appease the woman, and those in command. They are taking their lives
Rapunzel was alone most days and most nights She grew sad and felt no meaning was meant for her Her golden hair grew long and luscious Her once bright purple dress turned cold and frail
What if Cinderella was actually a slave whose prince led her through the Underground Railroad? What if Aurora had social anxiety? What if Snow White had Dissociative Identity Disorder?
Once upon a time, A princess sat inside a tomb -a crystal coffin set by dwarves beneath the light of crescent moon-   They watched her blink her glassy eyes
Snow White doesn't stay in a house. She doesn't depend on a variety of dwarves who grump about. She goes outside.
“Do I dare disturb the universe? In a minute there is time.”   When is that time?   I’m kind of disruptive.
My thoughts are racing but they only go in circles They're coming for you Turn the lights on and off 14 times You're gonna get pregnant Smoke another cigarette They're coming for you 
I am too much, too much. Too quiet they say, too shy (I'm obnoxious when I talk, it's better this way) Too rebellious, they say, too passionate (I'm just trying to find my way, never thought I'd reach 18)
Dear Doubtful Loved Ones,   My mental illness is not a product Of failed relationships. My mental illness is not a result Of someone not loving me. My mental illness is not based
Don't you feel the noose of night slowly tightening around your thoughts. Sufficating you slowly. You hold a blade in your hand slashing at the silence that hides it all... the things you never said
I am angry I am angry at the word Society I am angry that people still think Anorexia is just for girls and I am angry at the term "Pro Ana."
Hello boys and girls, I want to tell you all a story. Do not worry this isn't long at all and I will be done here shortly. Once upon a time there was a girl who looked just like me-
they cam e back this time they wanted my hands so I couldnt lay fingerprints on anything anymore no evidence of my evil  just poison from my wrists they wanted to see
The echoing halls are ringing with the forgotten cries comming from a raw throat. Nobody will turn to look at her as she cries for help, dying on the inside. Nobody will hear her
I was born in the fall of 1998, to a woman I never called mom. Picked up at four months old, by a couple looking for a daughter.    My formative years were great…except when they weren't.   
Do you want to know what lurks in the deep? Beneath my bare skin and white teeth Sitting deep within the bones Screaming, aching, and groaning. In the endless pit within my mind The voices echoing…
A small bottle A brush  Heavy paper   Covered in crevices    And teeth           Pressure       It takes pressure
Angels can fly I am an Angel I want to learn to fly. So I jumped… But I found out
Will they ever know how much they mean to me? How even on the hardest days they could make me smile? When I was at my worst when I had no reason to go on, when I was done with the world,
My head is full of tearsBut none of them ever hits the groundMy heart is pierced by a thousand spearsHelp is nowhere to be found People died,I survivedBut I do not know for how long
Mechanical gears grinding in a damp room beneath the surface Metal on metal , ear piercing racket , the noise resonates within  Yet remains muted from above
I love sleep. From daydreams to nightmares, I could live in my dreams forever. No matter how vivid those other worlds appear to be, Nor how terrifying the chases are,
Damn, I just lost my fucking blade againCuts all on my thighs, what a fucked up work of art Broke the pencil sharpener today at schoolRipped the blade out and shoved it in my shoeWent home and locked the bedroom door
I've been an exception from the day I was born  coming out- one more being native American- one more  the head doesn't work without the pills- one more nobody told us that the declaration had a clause 
We are praised for being independent, strong willed, and educated But when we rise to fight for the rights of others, told: “Don’t go burning your bra”
Some days you are a puddle barely rippling in the steady breeze, broken on the edges where cracks took you away. These times you will feel defeated,
A friend asked me how to be a writer.I wanted to say,lock yourself in a room,scream until you have a poem and no voice.Open your veins and bleed until you know that your bones
I write because  if I didn’t you’d find me dead with a pen by my side.  I try to break free from the bones that control me,
Depression is overly romanticized Young adult novels have the annoying habit of Portraying it as the skinny white girl who cries on her couch Before prince charming swoops her away
The first time I heard of anorexia I was eleven years old. A girl in my class had passed out in the lunch line because she was starving herself. The ironic thing was, She was about to buy an ice cream desert.
Did you know people have pain they never show.Everyone has a story hidden in their hearts.Some are hurt; others broken and that's not the worst part.The worst part is you never noticed thisor maybe it was just missed in this consuming abyss we cal
I have reached a point in my life where I wake up most days feeling somewhere between “okay” and so goddamn happy That I feel like a kid climbing a tree who has just reached a branch
People cannot be broken Nevertheless, there will come a time When you meet someone who will make you feel like Hundreds of pieces of pottery Scattered on the ground
I arrive at the scene.  A reported disorderly conduct, undeniably located inside of my brain.  'Surprised' is not a word to describe my reaction to find the two suspects. Depression and Anxiety.
For years and years I was filled with fear
"And how would you describe the pain?",she asked me   Her kind voice holding an edge of caution Like she was afraid of me Like somehow my mental pain is something contagious  A disease you can catch
A broken head and broken soul Struggling to make sense. The past two months took a tole I feel my body on defense. As I look to the ones close, They don't know how to help. My mom thinks she knows
I am courageous and hopefulI wonder if I will ever truly recoverI hear my ED and OCD thoughtsI see a possible future without recovery and that scares meI want recovery and freedomI am courageous and hopeful
 She never liked the way her clothes fit on top of the skin that also never fit quite right. Her hands had always held things too tight and her feet could never run fast enough. She was either too much or too little for a demanding world.
The attention span of a teenager is no more than 20 minutes But I sit in my 90 minute English class Sitting in my bland grey, uncomfortable chair I hear my teacher say
  I am the perfect boyfriend The solution To all of life’s problems Her soulmate
“yeah, I used to get panic attacks myself.” my ease surprises me. I’m relaxed, not like the calm before a storm when havoc is about to wreak. just calm. no storm.  
Once I found a coffee shop overlooked by a thousand Others. Through the glass, a thousand Others I ignored back. The sky carried dark clouds on its back.
One might question the sanctity of the doctor who prescribes you new medication,While simultaneously asking you to remove the sutures from your last hospital visit.
In the year of still not our lord but better known as 2016 I celebrated I grieved and was introduced to a newer
iam
I am a girl of six Playing with bones and stones and sticks Wondering if words will ever stick Not knowing that in a decade, I’ll be lonely and sick   I am a girl of ten
Eyes close slowly The world stands still. Dazed and volatile Creeping in chill.    Intangible; floating Skeletal bones peeking through Illusionary, frail Seeing nothing that’s true
"Fuck." "I want to die," I say. "I wasn't supposed to let it get this bad again," I say. As if I have any choice in the matter. As if my brain isn't the traitor here.
Labels are a dangerous thing. It’s good to feel like the happy girl,
The pain started in his head, bouncing between his ears like a bullet richocheting through a tunnel. Soon enough the pain slithered down his throat and into his lungs, clinging and growing like a fungus.
I’ve heard, my dear, that you aren’t okay. I’ve heard you crying, I’ve heard you say:   “I give up, I tell you. I surrender my soul.” But I promise you that one day, you will be whole.  
Golden hair on brown skin--unPalatable. Unfilled eyebrows, sparse as this country's humanity--indolEnt Fierce disease causes cruel brusing on body--compLains she has bed bugs.
My whole life has been leading up to this class-this moment. I am in AP Art. I’ve made it.  I’m one of the strong ones, holding tight through the current
Shadows line the walls When sun light fades And darkness falls. And into the abyss  The tormenting pit We find ourselves bound.   The ropes of doubt The shackles of fear
I never will forget All the things that I’ll regret And all the memories that passed me by   For it was like a haze A bleak denial infused craze A thick black fog covering the night sky  
Mask hides sad mind weights pull I wish to fly can’t break chains of pain toss and turn lack of sleep
Do you ever feel you're spread too thin? You see blue veins superficial to your skin. As you cleanch your fists and lock your jaw, You can't help but feel defeated.   So take a breath and ease your mind,
Looking out you see 23 faces Some paying more attention than others Some taking more thorough notes than others Some eyes knowing, and others glazed over
Look at her arm Littered in bruises Brown and yellow and green But where did they come from Why do they make her smile Pause
She builds these walls so high She hurts herself like this Because it’s her only shield Bt’s her only way to protect herself It’s her only way to live
The corpse is covered in scars Each a memory splattered with pain On some parts, skin is still violently red Trying desperately to heal itself
  Dear Child There’s a monster in your midst Don’t run and hide, for she’s not here to hurt you  She doesn’t have scary fangs or claws, but don’t be fooled
I’m so tired of hearing the same things“it’s not healthy”“that’s not good”“you shouldn’t do that”no shitno shit it’s not healthyno shit it’s not goodno shit i should do it but i do
Look at her What do you see?Who do you see?You see a smiling faceYou see the person you knowThe person you loveYou hear the same voice you knowShe says the things you expect her to say
people always ask  “what do you want to be?” “what do you want to be when you grow up?” Nurses, architects, teachers, and politicians Everyone lists a job
I put the inanimate over my head, to protect my mind from gathering more unwanted thoughts These thoughts fuel my eyelids as they become triggers my lashes ever so slightly pull
The unheard words cluster around me Tortured souls begging me to save them I refuse I push them aside, burying emotions I put them 6 feet under
Life is a bipolar frenemy Who constantly throws you surprise parties Good, and bad In no particular order, just to scare you One day my slice wears a face of joy
Took my youth for granted Now I’m stuck in a sandpit of broken dreams and neglected responsibilities My mind is constantly telling me that I can do better But no matter what 
I hate myself it doesn't show I smile and joke but inside it grows like a fire burning away my sanity tricking others into loving me I'm nothing, leave me be.
the crashing noise of the cascade below triggers a feeling of joy in my cataclysmic mind. it is not often that i am filled with the warming sense of jubilation
    Deep,       Deep,       Blue.    Blue hands.    Blue lips.     Blue lungs.   Blue hearts. Sinking down. To the vast blue ocean Of my stomach. Strangled.
crying, crying always crying the tears never seem to end   never speaking my mind you ask me to open up to you to let my thoughts be free did you really think that i could bend just because?
I was stopped by a man in a room made of gold He sat and told me his life story yet he couldn't look me in the eyes as he called me beautiful   We were both looking for "God" in all the wrong places
My owner wants me to play catch So he keeps throwing his pretty frisbee my way   The frisbee may be pretty, but I want to chase my tail
We were introduced to medication at seven and eleven. My brother's first thought was to break open the capsule To the sound of my parents saying, "No, no, no."   Now we're poppin' pills from PEZ dispensers
I didn’t choose this. I am broken, huh? Fate’s trashed what’s left of this… spoiled my remanence. Cursed, mortal drama. Neither a resemblance, Of patchwork done by those oh so ignorant.
You never know, never see can never really tell for sure because everyone has different limits  everyone has different heights  and even if it's not bad for you it might be bad for them. 
Forgive me,  but I have such a hard time believing that you're being sincere. I feel my fingers rattling— tapping other bones, nervously checking my phone,
Left alone , all aloneyet the house is full she faked  her smile  because  with eher xeprience she believedthe world was cruel ever
Blood seeps into every corner, every edge and every turn of my nails and for every heartbeat that echoes in my rib cage   voices starts to yell.  
The rose is mineI cherished itIt's something sacred and uniqueSome give it up so fastGive it away at any momentTo a boy or a girl
 How do I reconcile self loathing with the dreams I still have?
Image: Picasso's The Old Guitarist   It isn't crying or sobbing. There are no tissues with slice-of-life movies. It isn't listening to sad music While wishing for happier days.
in the mountains, the oxygen isn't enough. i breathe but i want more, more, more. i want to climb higher. i am tired and awake. tears in my eyes, i am laughing. i am so close to the sun, like Icarus, i want to be set on fire
They say that the most talented are also some of the most broken That the authors of poems and the artists of paintings had to have felt so much more fiercely than others to create such beauty
When did you realize that there was nobody you needed but yourself? How could you tell that you would always be there and that they would not? When you find yourself unable to rise in the morning unable to turn the faucet on to clean your face una
I feel my toes in the sand and look back I look back at who I was and feel small I was the sand, soft and pliable and weak The waves, they used to push and crash on me They were strong and forceful and full of life
Poetry is therapeutic I lower my pen to paper And I don't have to pay one hundred-forty dollars for temporary peace of mind Tears released  Breath finally caught I am whole It is memory The bad
don't flatter yourself darling they never loved you they never even loved the idea of you   they loved the fact that you're both easy and a challenge you're just running
  What if I told you that poets were overrated? Someone who can only write when they’re sad, Or in love or in bliss or in need of desperate rent money, Is like a flower that only drinks from a tsunami.
Jay was a woman: Elegant, and Porcelain in Her complexion. She Lit-up Rooms effortlessly, a mere smile was all it took. Unfortunately, She was fickle, which tainted this perfection.
I feel like a Dinosaur. While all of you are busy trying to decide whether you're happy, mad, sad, or just in love, I am busy being a Dinosaur. Specifically, a Tyrannosaurus Rex.  
can’t tell people anything they think i’m crazy i guess i am but all i need is someone to listen and understand without having to plead
Can anyone love me? Would anybody be willing to withstand My horrible insecurity, The side of me I hide? Would you be willing to tell me  It will be alright, When you know I don't believe you?
I had choice to make My laptop sat open with  A blank document glaring at me, While a blade sat rested in my  Favorite copy of Jane Eyre on my shelf. 
One of the hardest things I do Is talk to you. It doesn't happen until I snap, And all hell breaks loose. I try to tell you, But the words are impossible to find. When I do my best it is dismissed.
I laid down in the dark, Strapped in a jacket on my bed, With orange-bottled pills To keep the voices from my head.   But in the depth of silence
I plant my feet slowly and reach out all around Fingertips brushing up against the thoughts in my head They seem to scream but my lips are bound Shushing them, I see my mind was mislead  
There is this deep, evasive emptinessthat never ceases to lack control.That conquers and escapes,that stirs quiet chaos in my soul.
I'm okay, When I refuse to look you in the eye. I'm okay, When I hide in the shadows. I'm okay, When I hide behind my fringe. I'm okay, When the world is ignoring me. I'm okay,
They say it isn't hard to get well. That it gets better with time. It isn't that simple. They say it is a matter of will, A matter of desire, But it's not true.  
When I call out, And ask for help Nothing seems to come. Just my echoing voice Bounces back, leaving me alone. The echo comes in your criticism, And what you point out as wrong,
They don't know about it. The anxiety I face. When I have to go to a place, Where I know little to no people. From working at the restaurant, To a party at my friend's place.  
Maybe I am ill, Perhaps I am not, But the issues many of us face Remain unseen. So I ask that people read along. Look into my head, And into what I have seen. This is why I write my poetry.
“Melancholy is the happiness of being sad” -Victor Hugo          
Author's Note: This was a poem written by Catrina Sable, a good friend of mine, and myself. Enjoy!   Two girls that feel alone Lost in their head Replaying the battles, Hearing the never ending screams,
Not to rain on your parade But I’m not the fragile crybaby you think I am. You see, Suicidal thoughts weight a ton I trek through concrete jungles With 500 pounds of loneliness on my backpack,
It seemed logical at the time. But now I stare at the scars, Demonized by those around me. To them each one is ugly, To them each one is alienating. To them each one is my insanity.  
Maybe I am going insane. When I want to break down, Cry for the stupidest thing. Cry over the fact that I hate myself, That I will never be good enough for you, Absolutely not for myself.  
Shadows put words in my brain That I can barely fathom Running back and forth  At the speed of light and I'm trying with all my might Because I'm on this ledge But I'm afraid to jump
WELCOME HOME!    I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU!     I'M SO GLAD TO HAVE YOU BACK!   YOU WERE GONE FOR QUITE A WHILE, YOU KNOW.    BUT NOW WE'RE TOGETHER AGAIN!    I'M SO HAPPY!  HOW ARE YOU?     HAHAHA, DON'T ANSWER THAT.
  Carved it out of my heart, Blood dripping down my hands, I don't understand myself,I don't understand you, 
I love my friends. They're always there for me when I need them,          A fucking lie; they're useless,                   terribly frivolous rats, who never stop to consider-- 
My wrist, formless, shifting and breaking like a cloud;You grab hold, tightly--too tightly,And I vaporize before your eyes.  
You
You creep into my mind And it's like I can't be sane without you. You kept me high all the time. Your touch was so intoxicating. All I want is to have you in my arms again And hear your voice next to my ear.
The voice in my head never stopsDay in and day outIt repeats what I’ve done wrongI can’t get through a day without regretting my pastMy head hurts more than my heart ever didMy heart was broken but I found a glue stickBut my mind is a tool that gl
Picture painting on a smile  Beautiful brushstrokes create compelling art  But it hasn't been real in a while  So the artistry begins to fall apart    Welcome to the Illness  It kills this realness
I never loved you  You're better off dead  Hope itself left you  Father's words shouting in her head  Her heart scarred deep  Here's the reason why she bled   Hating who I am
What really sucks the most is when you pour yourself into one person who promises they won't leave, And as time goes  on, You gradually drift apart by no fault of your own.
Pounding, Prodding, Perturbing Screaming, Screeching, Seething Throbbing, Thrashing, Trapping Repeating, Repeating, Repeating Silence. Begging for silence Doing anything for one moment of silence
Loneliness lusts for souls like mine Hopefulness hides in souls like yours I am weathered and withered, weary and worn My soul's the night, but yours is the morn.
All you do is hurt me. Your actions are evil and so are you. I don’t know if I’ll ever be free.   You are so abusive and beastly.
We've all been through trying times in our lives, and if we haven't yet, then it is almost inevitably coming. ITS JUST HUMAN NATURE TO HURT, INS'T IT? Most of us experience our suffering at the hands of other people.
Unnatural selection   We are deemed unfit Unsuited for the environment That’s it She screams I quit
Forget the people who praise you,when you are shining and glorious.
Author's Note: I am extremely proud of this poem. I entered it into San Mateo's City Arts contest and recieved an honorable mention, and didnot have any intention, and did not follow the theme. So I hope you all enjoy this poem.
I say I hate it. In fact, it causes me the most pain. Regardless, it makes me human; Regardless, it is my composition.   I say I want it gone,
Author's Note: This was inspired by the song "Knives and Pens" by Black Veil Brides.   Hello loneliness, My old friend. It seems that my plight doesn't end, For here we meet, yet again.
Don't romanticize this and say some boy or girl will pick you up off the floor and hold you in his arms and wipe your tears away and kissing you anyways. This is the gruesome reality of always smelling like puke. It never goes away.
I said I would quite and, I know I promised but darlin' this world is tearing the cries from my soul and making them scream from a voice that is dead. I confuse the tears with rain and the cries with laughter.
What a twisted game I play, Just me, myself, and I. A game so quiet that no one knows, It exists in my mind, and in my life. What a twisted game, I keep to myself. The game before a mirror,
Distract without one, I  would be alone with my  thoughts- tearing my mind to  pieces. 
Before you date somebody with amental illness, you must rememberthat calling them beautiful willnot adjust their brain's chemicallevels.  Sweet words do not reversesickness that plagues the mind
They found his diary under the bed. “Just days too late,” the agent said. Tales of sorrow, woe, and despair “This shouldn’t have happened; it’s really not fair”  
It is something that is invisible and difficult to see yet at the same time you know something is wrong with me the feeling of an invisible knife that pierces through the heart
**I had to seriously sit down and write what I felt, I'm sorry . I love going back to my emotions maybe I'll feel the same way before and read this. Maybe I'll smile and maybe I'll cry but I know I needed this outlet**
Toto, we are not in Kansas anymore, We are neck deep in denialshouting from our lungs,We are starving head cases.We are two am phone calls to our mothersaying, Mom, I messed up.
Never. Never give up on me. I'm like a tree, budding in my love for thee First, I will not know For my limbs had not yet been free From their canopy of leaves Then when I do, I'll be uncertain,
I can’t deny this: You make life hard for me.   Each morning when I wake up It feels as if the world is sitting on my shoulders.
Writing by the light of a door cracked open is the most honest one can get with oneself. Especially when that door leads to the hallway of a psychiatric hospital.
rape victims they are not crazy abuse victims they are not crazy bullying victims  they are not crazy  drug addicts and alcoholics they are not crazy  people with depression and anxiety 
The feeling of walking to a wall We’ve been through this a billion times,Yet you still don’t “get it,”The luxury of observing meLike a rich politician at the Freak ShowA privilege I didn’t inherit.Apathy cannot be found in my DNAThough it
A crisp winter night, marked only by the looming bell tower And Zachary Gray, who traipsed on the wet cobble road The ethereal moan of lamentation permeated in an hour
Don't give up, it get's better. Don't let those eyes get any wetter. Don't beat yourself up or tear yourself down. Don't give the world its saddest sound. Don't let your mind lose itself.
Nearly a year has passed since I found myself situated in that Psychiatric Behavioral Health Unit. But not a day has passed that I Don’t find myself reminiscing, Missing the simplest of things.  
only my walls see my tears and only my walls know my fears i keep it all inside except once... when someone pried i opened up and tried but they hurt me so... i nearly died  
Your organ comes out and starts to play “I think you’d rather be dead” They say. But I think I’ll save that for another day. I don’t know what to think I’m so tired “No sleeping.”
Sometimes I talk to myself. Sometimes while I’m walking through my empty house, I pretend that my house is full up people that love me That would miss me Does that make me crazy?
Why does it matter Why does it matter that I can’t sleep Why does it matter that I can’t eat Why does it matter? Does it mean I’m less of a human being If I can’t see what everyone else is seeing
  To the people who said they were my friends then completely ruined me: Thank you.   Thank you for totally destroying my ability to trust anyone.
It curls and snarls and breathes in my ear, memories of darkness and grief reappear. Closed are the curtains and closed are the shutters. Midnight moves slowly and stands almost still.
I love her more than I think she loves herself. I look at her and see so many things. I remember oh so well the mask she wore everyday. The smile that was plastered on her face.
There's a small thing I can't live without it beats inside me,  no matter what it scratches at the silver linings of my brain sometimes it fools me into believing I can have anything.  
i will never know how to breathe without pain there will always rest a parasite in the wrinkles of my brain speaking in code to my uterus and to my esophagus, this "being human"? i'm bad at this
I'm mad.I'm mad that when I talk about important things they roll their eyes.I'm mad that I'm a bitch for having opinions,or boring for being a(stupid)(shallow) (unambitious) girl.
paint my skies with brilliant shades of blue
you will probably never know what it's like to be a victim of your own mind
falling deeper, deeper and deeper
You have no idea how badly i hurt, how much pain i endure when my anxieties and fears pulse through my blood… How easy it seems to just let them out, it only costs an inch of flesh…
i’m trying to find the balancebetween female anatomy and unbalanced brain chemicalsmales gazes and straight jackets internalized, holding hands, squeezing out my sanityi do not know how to properly
You feel compelled to explain,   & frustrate yourself  with the short comings of language, grow cross & blame yourself,  but mutations in the shape of a single molecule  have noticeable consequences.
If words were building blocks, I’d have a castle to house my shattered soul. But words are not brick. Words are not stone. I never expected to reach adulthood, but I figured if I did, I would be okay.
Peace I find in thee. Your constant is my rock, Your selfless thoughts: I stand in awe. Within you I am free. Not confined in prison block; But rather safe within your law.  
I cut the cord and now I’m floating here above the bloody mess that used to be the thing they called me not quite a person just me  
"My head," I explain, "It's floating." Everyone stares. That doesn't make sense. I try again. "My head feels like it's floating." and they nod, my statement is acceptable
As I stand bravely in front of thousands My body starts trembling with fear and thoughts I try to calm myself down But standing still makes me tremble with a frown   I'm shaking, now
After the NAMI meeting organized by my family, AKA the GSA club, We, My friends, Stood in a circle behind the refreshment table—
Even the greatest- scientists, engineers, painters, astronauts, walk across crowded streets, surrounded by everyday people with everyday troubles, suffocating on the smoke of their own personal
I’m trapped inside routine Ingestions of medication Proven to numb the sickness That wreaks havoc in my mind.   Of course, the pills work, But only for a moment. Freeing me from myself,
  I am every bit as pathetic as the paper in my mouth.   The paper that will very soon become a topic of discussion among my friends;      Wondering why my hands now smell like anxiety,
There was a month where I smelled like cigarettes.     You were the month that I tasted like misplaced jokes,                                        who's punch-line snaked around my jaw;
  The fluorescents blink almost as fast as you when you're uncomfortable,      And of course we don't know what we did wrong,                                                     but the wax on the floors might.  
  We passed the field by my house, Where you used to say sorry; Words never held meaning for you Without smoke kissing lips.   I never should have. I waited too long didn't I honey?
I am the girl who never seemed to be alone in the halls I am the stranger with the goofy smile that you remember in your freshman class
Liz
Liz   It’s in the morning that I think of you I can’t seem shake the feeling in my chest Though I thought I was breaking through
                Floods of wrath, Tigris to my Ur!                 Trenchantly breaking relations                 —Temples of Toil— made by me!                 From the sweat of my brows, they’re built
Who am I? The seventeen year old, who walks all over town, becuase she can't drive. I work at least twenty hours a week, Just to pay for AP classes.  To some, I'm simply that.  A hardworker.
when i was little, it was endearing, and my parents would smile behind their hands and whisper: “she has very small circles, but she loves who she loves.” and i would frown behind mine because i loved no one.  
I fear that I am a mistake a mistake of God.. and one day He'll realize it, then I'll disappear. No one will notice, no one will care, some may even be relieved..
Being a hot mess isn’t hot; I know that better than anyone. Sometimes my heart overworks my head and vice versa.
Looks like someone's out of bed. Eyes nice and clear
Mental illness is defined by the excessive, 
Is it true That you are unlovable If darkness has taken you over If fear fills your soul If you hear voices That you cannot quiet Is there no one Who understands what it is like
I looked around me, and what did I see? Storms of constant, painful suffering.   Not only my soul, Had taken its toile, But others too, found life bitter and dull.  
I'm the orginial.. Supposed to be the only. The proceding two are only burned images, carbon copies..learned defenses. Created without my permission. But I was here first and she forgot about me..
On the first class meeting of my freshman year, I was told that when you leave highschool you are two numbers. SAT: GPA: keep up your grades, stay out of trouble, get involved.  
I wear a mask on the hottest day, in the middle of winter. Everyday. I cannot go without my smiling mask. I bring it with me where ever I go. "Why?", some will ask. To hide a secret within.
(I am who I am as a result of who I am not)   I am not the girl my parents thought I would be
Depression is staring up at the ceiling
I am not my disorder, I am not alone in my fight, I am a force to be reckonned with, I am one that stands tall in the light, I am not a kicked puppy, I am not a shattered looking glass,
How can I go creeping Barefoot in the snow? How can I love so deeply, Someone I do not know?   There is beauty that I find In your smile, in your eyes In the tears while you cry
Mirror, spotted with age and time. Rust begins to spread, but you see yourself just fine.
The depravity sinks into her skin,Hope dissolving into trepidationAbandoned, the consequence of her sinHope dissolving into trepidation,Remnants of love, macabre dance 'round her head
Demons are chasing me People replacing me Lies are incasing me While the truth is facing me My steps retracing me
I bought a nice new pair of cotton sheets this week to replace my old pilled polyester sheets.
Her ship is sinking, it's now 20 feet below. It's already submerged with only one place to go. Down in the murky depths where the light doesn't show. Her passion is gone, now stagnant, as the water ceases to flow.
I have a lot of fears in life.
Imagine living with a family of disorders, darkness riding upon corners. Imagine living with an anorexic sister, autistic brother,
    Hello to the little feeling,  lingering despite the concentrated focus against it. My heart is a muscle of some sort, located in my chest.
Psychotic (adjective); crazy, mental, reckless, Out of control, violent, strange, scary- You throw around the word psychotic as if it won't hurt
I am buried beneath the fear of my own failure. I gaze at the bird sing as she is falling. I tell you my secrets, though I do not know what they are, only that they are veiled behind my shame.
Fire. 
I feel the sylables Nesting within my breast Effectively avoiding spillage  Emptied from my clenched lips Destroying the illusion  Held of prefection Enclosing the unspoken
and rain stutters over greasy pavement slicked with oil and I stutter over words like cracks in the soaked sidewalk. and your car stutters 
My chest pinches in an uncomfortable way the air will not flow right slowly seeping out and leaving me breathless   Tears begin to collect,  from the pain,  the pressure,
My mind is on fire
I can’t always feel it, because sometimes it is out of reach. Lonely, anxious, worried, scared.  Negative thoughts race though my brain. But something pulls be back to rationality.   And I hear:
IT
You’re tol
The moon is a symbolDespite the darkness, somewhere out there is our source of light
They say that I have problems: Schizophrenia and such. There’s a lot more, but I don’t understand very much.   Am I crazy? I can’t possibly be! There isn’t anything Wrong with me.
There's a war inside my head and it just won't stop. I was told the biggest battle is the one in your head.
“Life is like drowning,” She says, her tangled hair rustling in the breeze.
I am bipolar and thats okay I've tried to hide to hide it, tried to runaway I am bipolar not an outcast The mistakes I've made are all in the past I am bipolar, I've learned alot
I am bipolar and thats okay I've tried to hide to hide it, tried to runaway I am bipolar not an outcast The mistakes I've made are all in the past I am bipolar, I've learned alot
Tick, tock, tick, tock. 
In my senior year, I took my final high school English class. Advanced compostion.  We were told in this packet in the mail a week before school started that we'd read a lot And write a lot.
Mom, you do not have OCD because you like clean sideboard.You are neat and I congratulate youbut you do not have OCD until your head is filled with a montage of shattering plates,bursting lightbulbs,smashing vases,
I am one of three –Shadow, skin, and light.A triplet split from the same egg and sperm.XXMake it 3 and you’ll have meExplicit.It’s so sexy,Being cleaved into thirds.  
Her
She speaks in tongues But you understand her ramblings No matter what Because she's all you know.   She moves in sync With your breaths  And broken steps because She follows you always.
Burning cheeks Warm froth on the tips of eyelids Lips quiver and teeth clench   Tears dry on puffs of red skin Nose yearns for air Throat swells   Broken lenses 
When I was five I was considered for having OCD. To my family at the time they laughed at how I was "considered". It's a mental illness, you either have it or you don't.
I dreamt that I was witnessing a war Not in full action But of its ancient history   Looking at the artifacts of someone else's life Wondering who'd they'd been Where they'd walked
You know that girl who's always smiling and laughing, That girl who isn't popular, but everyone likes her, That girl who can cheer anyone up within seconds, That girl who loves and cares for everyone?
You know that girl who's always smiling and laughing, That girl who isn't popular, but everyone likes her, That girl who can cheer anyone up within seconds, That girl who loves and cares for everyone?
Anxiety. Depression.They're not things you can define.
Inside, around, behind what's in my mind? Flashbacks tons of flashbacks. I wiggle, I scream hes too mean. I can't get away but you think I did it to  myself.  
Going into the dark chambers of your mind Where the voices whisper The hands claw Waking up in a cold sweat Gasping for breath Longing for air No, you won't go back there
In the eyes of another, who’s there by the sill, quietly sitting, perfectly still.   Eyes that are clouded,
Let me live in your bed,naked as a fishribs emerging day by day like gills as you steal my breath.Moss will creep over my ankles -oh, keep us from the harsh heavy air,swim languidly through the sheets
Wake up late, Mornings I hate Don't like leaving my bed The smell of bacon Brings a cravin' Jam spread over bread Hash browns or home fries Always satisfies Kethchup on top
Reading! Writting! Things that make people cringe but makes smilegive me words over sports give me a book over TV
I was raised to be the sacrifice. How fitting, with my name being,  "The One Who Bears The Cross." But unlike my Namesake I will not rise up again after three days;
Daddy, You are not insane. I won’t cast you to the ward & call you unfit for the world. I won’t discount every word you say Guessing it’s all just the crazies talking.
Smile.  Smile because you're loved, you're fortunate, you've got no reason to be sad.  Smile because everyone around you passes by without a second glance, a second thought, a second word. 
  The wind blows, the leaves fall, but time still seems to stop You close your eyes, and pray to God, that your heart doesn’t pop You feel the bench below you; you see the grass and trees,
Hockey is the reason I chose not to end myself at the start   Now, rough doesn’t even begin to explain it – at all
Oh no... I feel it creeping up again, the sad thoughts and troubling memories that haunt my dreams at night. What can I do to help myself?
Little one it is okay, Little on i am here with you now. Little one put the knife down, I am here now.  I know your angry,
Rest In Peace we post because he's gone Robin Williams one of our own Suffering from severe depression Were we blind? The truth is no one ever looked him in the eye Bent over laughing thinking he's so happy
Diamonds fill the sky Just as they pierce her skin and become rubies But she will never grace their beauty with her gaze Leaves become the gradient colors of the sunset But she does not see them
Make it stop! Make it stop! Please Someone stop me
My head space is dizzy I feel lethargy   I don't know how to laugh What is it I see?   I'm trying to remember Thats there's somewhere to be   I can't feel my self
Feel what you see The pain is not mine It isn't yours Who does it belong to If not you or me?   It's better than pity That lacks kindness and charity
The things that define us can often make us worse,   but they can also make us better we can grow,    like seeds after a forest fire
I want to see the stars see past the fog place my head above the clouds,   bathe in the light I want to forget the dark wrap myself in rich shades of blue,  
There is a buzzing in my head. There’s a fluttering, flapping, swishing noise in my head. There is a buzzing in my head. I don’t think you get it. There is a BUZZING in my HEAD.
Dear stranger, I look like you, talk like you I'm not in the street Asking for a fraction of your salary I'm not up in the schools Waving a gun At kids that arn't old enough
If you choose to love a girl who does not believe herself worth loving, be warned:  she does not take well to being proved wrong.  In fact she will fight against the very idea of your affection during all the hours you two are apart, during the y
I didn't ask you to come into my life,Yet here you are.Looking for someone to wreck,You found me.Out of the corner of my eye, I saw youBreak down the door.
Colors were bright Spice was spicy Sweet was sweet Friends were fun Life was life And I was myself But now it's different I'm not sure what happened My body is tired and I sleep too much
You came to settle in my brain which feels like so long ago. You were quick to cause confusion and pain and suddenly became the foe.   Every morning I'd wake up with my self esteem in the gutter.
Four emotions at once and yet where am I running? With all my intelligence I thought I'd be a bit more cunning.   Hate Love Understanding Heartbreak  
Am I worth my weight in gold?
For months I was comatose.
The Other Me   Happiness (adjective) Feeling pleasure or joy It’s the perky energetic kid that has
Take a look around. People walk around with smiles on their faces and secrets in their heart.   The girl you just passed on the street wears long sleeves to cover the bruises she gets from her father,
    Trapped in a Panic   You will never forget the cruel, distinct idea of it.  
The world is a beautiful place. Maybe it’s that belief that always gets me in trouble.   I spend my days in this constant awe at the world, in people, in how wonderful
a rope tur
Please don't break. 
Sitting here inside myself Specters ruminate  Suicidal apathy  My ego is irate   As I melt into my chair Dazed and a bit confused
Dear every person who says that a mental illness is nota valid reason for not being able to attend school normally,
This is not meant to be a sob story. This is a poem to make you understand.   In the past year alone, I have attempted suicide 3 times. In the past year, 
They don’t teach you not to be small.I’ve been in a million classrooms that teach us not to get too big and make sure we exercise enough.Never have I heard, “Don’t get too small.”
If mental illness was treated as such there would be  no kids online blogging about their eating disorder getting comments like you can do it! avoid the food! stop eating and you too will be beautiful!
Eye contact is dangerous, saying too much is foolish, emotions are an anomaly and shouldn’t be seen as real, keep away from everyone
When you wake up you don’t normally know muchFirst thought might be “I need to pee”Second thought might be “What time is it?”But what if when you woke up you’re first thought was to blink your eyes three times?
I still am lost in the wonder of its beauty So sweet it is As it just lays there Deep in red valor   I want nothing more Than to freeze this time This time that is sacred and rare
We walked aimlessly with direction happening upon that one perfect moment.                                     To Rest. Sizzled mimosa pours freshen my mind’s thoughts of you sweet sweet endangered—
Close your eyes, Go to sleep,                 Dream of us- As deep drums                 Mark the beginning.   Ravenous human shadows Singing brutal blood-stained
I seem to have fallen down again,
There are meadows we all will see , my friend There are meadows we all will see. There are flowers sprung up amid the sidewalk cracks There are seashells in the sea. Your time is yet to rise up
Everyone judges or gets judged though for some it can happen more often than it should, when it does what emotions do they feel, embarrassment, anger, shame and hurt?
An adaptation of Shakespeare's Hamlet's To be Or Not to Be Written by: Kristin Elyse Harlan   To go on, or not to go on: that is the question: Whether tis nobler in the mind to continue
How long has it been? I forget with the flashes of light and sounds that pass through me like rain through the clouds five  ten years a smile seems to mark its territory across my face 
There's a road in the meadow parting it left and right a side where the sun rises and the other for the moon at night and now I have to choose the side I belong to
Thunderous applauseA steady, continuous chanting of my nameThat's what I live forThis is what I want
"How are we feeling today?" "How much have you eaten?" "Let's check your weight." "Have you ever hurt yourself?" "Are you hearing things?" "Are you seeing things?"   An interrogation
Desk, chair, paper, pencil, desk.Scratching on a clipboard what makes you
"Your ears are the ocean," my friend said, and I imagined the wash of waves erasing the auditory footsteps hanging like fading dreams in the clear morning light of the seashore.  
Get over it.   As if it were a hill I could climb. Get over it, As if I could jump high enough to reach the other side. Get over it,
Sweet songs of monsters never ending
Paint my smile Rouge my cheeks Take the darkness from my face   Soothe my thoughts Heal my fractures Take the darkness from my mind   Life my spirits Cheer my heart
No one ever told me it's okay, it's okay to be so anxious you can feel your heart wanting to jump out of your chest.
Pain woven into my soul
you ask me to make a change a change I would like to see in the world. I do not understand.   If I could, in theory, change something, it would be me
Why doesn't depression have a face? Like the boy sitting alone Or the girl who cries herself to sleep?
if i could change one thing, i would release the stigma on mental illness like a goddamn balloon into the sky, popping when it gets too high in the atmosphere, never to be seen again.
How are you doing? I'm fine, thanks for asking. Pretty well, thanks. Okay. Alright. You know. All too ready for the weekend, you know? All too ready for the end of the day, you know?
  “Write about anything,” they said “Write about anything in your life….”   Write about how Christmas has just passed,
  We all knew her before her mind took her under under a spell know one is sure no cure It happened so fast a spiraling of events I imagine the grief they must have in their souls
I wish I could cry properly. Standing in front of the bathroom mirror Staring deep into myself Picturing the most impossibly  Dead image Trying to push the tears out Feeling absolutely no moisture
Picture this:There are two mason jars on the counternext to the cash register of your localconvenience store. One says: “Johnnyhas been diagnosed with stage 1 cancer”,and the other says, “Please, help!
Nevermind what the haters say (Since I'm a hater, anyway). I try to be romantic but I can't help it when I'm frantic I'm only hoping you don't panic When I become manic
From the very first breath at fresh life she wasn't there. It didn't occur until I relapsed that I was eight when she came back. And they told me to love her even though she left me for the boys.
Mental illness plagues each one of us They wear us down, we want to quit As if our everyday hardships weren't enough We put up walls to mend our broken spirits   Titles of disorders get dropped everyday
Black atmosphere, purple park on fire my flesh desired Black spiked hair with a bruised face stepping, grass crunching, heart race
Living with this darkness. Always weighing me down. Thinking dark thoughts; wandering around this strange and lonely town. Can't get rid of this depression; seems like any hope I once held is coming to an end.
  They say it is all in my head
You’re paranoid Always looking around Terrified by the simplest of a sound
I was too young, how could I know It wasn't right, but did I show To those outside who knew me well Could they not see, could they not tell
Save me from the dark And help me see the light Save me from what's wrong And help me put things right Save me from my demons And help me find the fight Save me from the pain I feel
An instant, a flash, an impulse or plan The end of a life of a woman or man The torment too much, to live or to bare The pain now transferred to those that care
Teacher Teacher, do you see us as passing faces? Another year another set of faces? Don't you want to know more? More about us? Like how Miranda's mother tells her she's worthless?
To be ill and afraid of what is coming tomorrow, and never forg
I love you, even while you are medicated your heavy eyes, not quite reaching mine Your lack of interest in the words I’m pressing so hard Frustrating me to the point of tears But I do not blame you
I want people to be afraid of me, I want them to look into my eyes and shiver at the darkness that they see. I want everyone I meet to remember my name, Something reminiscent of power, influence, or fame.
I try to focus Be the student you all want But bad thoughts corrupt 
Homicidal rage Boiling blood Red face Flooded sweatglands Clenched fists Grinding teeth 5 minutes later
Hips, ribs, and collar bones; Never hurt by sticks or stones. Words made you this way. "I can't stand myself!" you say.   You think they're right, You think you're wrong. "Keep it up,"
streetlamp's shuddering turning to a grinning face girl's mouth's stuttering nervous tics' shaking embrace weight on chest he can't breathe it's something he can't fight
She'll tell you: You're ugly and fat. and guess what- You'll always believe her.
Make a slice on each armDon't worry it won't do much harmSkips a few mealsIt's not that big of a deal Take a bottle of pillsAnd watch your body lye stillPut a bullet in your headAnd watch the blood pool on the bed
The room goes blank.
Hearing your name Seeing other's faces Worry in their eyes you look too complacent Your heart feels full but your body cant reciprocate People must care about your calorie intake
Follow me my dearest one Allow me to show the way to perfection. Lay your head in my hands For I’m about to give an explanation.   You are fat my love. A waste of total and complete space
A pressure to burnSpilling over, through my eyesSo I run, for a place to find sanction.And it's dirty, and lonely, and sick, (just like me)this is the perfect placeto find my own goD--
 In the night, you scream with fright you hold your breath all too tight, for in the night, lurk shadows of the past, you remember of those gruesome nights, you try to fight those scary dreams,
Subject wakes up. Two dozen lashes.   Leaves spring from the trees. Subject falls asleep. It can’t stay awake it seems.   Doors: A, B, and C
An all-consuming darkness that casts a shadow over life. It dims the term "living" and illuminates the word "dying." It barges in with a gun- shooting bullets of shame. And when you've been wounded,
Seems lost, doesn’t it? The decisions that led to this moment, Cost it its own government, I still covet it, when its well it’s a wonderful thing, Sometimes, even in hell, this joy it can bring,
My secret is worthy. To be guarded like the keep of one-hundred dragons. It lies inside a rotted chest, crueal and wicked and warped though I mean to hide it well beneath its translucent wood. What must be kept I cannot keep.
I get angry at my body for what's living in my headif I could flee my form I'd do it, and live in my soul insteadmy body has its wants, but my soul has its needs,and what my body wants leaves my disgusted soul to bleed
The bright neon lights glistened and gleamed Dancing and twirling across the black night sky Before they were distorted by the blur As the car went whizzing by The warm summer night is teeming with magic
  Your words taste like caramel in my mouth. But words of wisdom do not exist. Those who think the dangerous thoughts That if, Dribbled out, Would indeed disturb the universe
Release Sweet God I think I've got it. Remorse Where's my mind I think I've lost it. Relief  All my dreams mix well with drinks. Regret  All my screams are making make me sink.  Repeat
The voices tell me to do bad things.  Sneak cookies, hit that dude with a bat. They won't leave me alone! The voices tell me to break the rules. Pinch my sister, stay up for three days straight,
Society has millions of images designed to represent beauty Yet not one of those images are similar to me. There are thousands of different body shapes and sizes Maybe that's why I struggle when looking for clothes.
They say that I'm ill.
  What is life when all I see is strife? Those eyes that twinkle like nickel. The sun reflects the radiant smile of my beloved, yet after a mile it fades away.
Starving my body, starving my soulI cannot tell what is my goalEat that today, eat nothing tomorrowMy mother's scale I might have to borrowCheck my weight, look towards the groundOh my God, I gained a pound
A year of healing and of grace Of reconstructing a new face And seeing color after years Of grey scale muted by my tears  
There is a certain blankness in your stare one that is so deep, and true It seems you're the only one who cares. I'd like to say you're diffrent, but you're beyond that hold me don't let me go hold me?
She sat in her chair across from me Scribbling on a pad of paper that held pieces of my life in a careless pattern “Write,” she said. So simple and stupid As if writing in a journal can change my problems
End
Heavy breathing. Wrists bleeding. Mind freeing. Heart releasing. Eyes tearing. Body collapsing. Life ending.
Nothing is as it really seems, Things can get you, real or fake, You really are only safe in your dreams. No, they will never give you a break.   Things will tear you apart in life
Once I fall down the staircase,I look into the red horizon,wishing only to grabhold of the railing that leads down the staircase of my mind.
So stabilize;
Friends may go behind your back or a sibling attempts to tear you to pieces. It sucks. Yet, you can keep going. But what do you do when your own mind betrays you? Where you run, it will follow.
As I lay waiting for sleep I pray. I pray for a glimmer of light in a sea of darkness. For the fear to end
Look in a mirror and see a monster The hate inside, fighting to take control In school they don’t see, at least not really They see a person not a monster I see so much of him inside of me
(poems go here) The moonlight is so bright, so peaceful, so simple. A heavy cloak of black attacks and quickly engulfs the powerful gem of Silver, reminding her that pure bliss can be shattered at a moment’s notice.
He says he’s broken all the time, there’s something wrong with his head: There are monsters in there that push to get out. It’s almost funny because he’s the most whole person I’ve known.
“Them”,” us”. “Us”, “we”. By “them” I mean “us”, and by “us” I mean me. But I also mean “them”. Them, us. We, me. The mentally ill that we be.
The wind shook the house on that cold, cold night You were yelling at me, I didn't want to fight. You stumbled down the stairs, You stumbled into my room, You grabbed me by the hair, and you blamed me.
She felt her frown as she wore her scowl And ached her sad while showing her bitter, So it’s easy to see why no one knew her blue, and often mistook her for red.
Why is life so lifeless for you, poor child? Is there a thing in this world that could lighten you up, put a smile on your face? You are brooding, but why? Has someone wronged you, or has misfortune fallen upon you?
Shadows. Hush. They follow you at night. Shhh The ghosts are watching; they know you're not alright.
We are the misfits. Some of us have learning disabilities. Some of us have social problems. Some of us have been abused. Some of us have depression. Some of us are sick. We are the misfits.
Maybe one day I will be able to forgive myself so I can start to forgive everyone else. Until then I will be the product of my own lies about how blissful I am when my eyelids are open.
I am dependent——maybe codependent. I am sick——I am fine. (I’m everything I wish I weren’t.) Today I am fine. I am fine. I am fine. And I suppose that is one of my greater lies. I am I am I am I am… Fine?
I sit on the floor as I cry I wonder why is this happening I don't want a new "mom" or "dad" My foster parents say they love me I think I love them too How can I love these people
She wears a cross around her neck But she ain't no Virgin Mary Angry with rage inside From being so easily tossed aside Contains it with a smile on her face Remnants of the human race Fleck her heart
Broken like the keys of an old piano, Fake like all the lies that you've told her, Tattered like the curtains of an old abandoned house, Abused like a stray dog... Broken like a rusty 1969 Chevelle,
One drink to wash away the pain, Just one more, One sip to cleanse the sorrow, Just one more, One drink to ease the suffering, Just one more, That will come tomorrow.
Smiling when you feel like crying Laughing when you feel like dying Loving when you feel like hating Apologizing when you've done nothing wrong It's always the same thing Like a repetitive song
My parents think I'm crazy, but really not that much. I drew a pretty purple daisy, and made the stove my own to touch. I wacked Daddy with a hammer and threw Momma down the stairs.
I realized when I start to feel depressed I say I don’t feel so good I don’t feel good I am broken wrong crooked
I am powerless. Powerless to help you. To save you. But you say you don’t want to be saved. Is it because of the power? The power that controls you in that moment? When the edge cuts and the blood flows
My individuality is Locked in a little box. My insane attempts to maintain a higher status-quo Shoot me and throw me down a fiery hole. What the heck am I saying?! I’m surrounded by family and central heating in
That light hasn't come on for weeks now, and I got a sense of peace when I was dying: the bells peter out, the sirens stop crying. I am left with the cold wind sifting my bones.
Always smiling, never does she have a frown Through the good times, and the bad She stands tall and strong It seems like nothing can break her, nothing at all But look deeper, look into her eyes
What gift unto this mind was granted so To make these awful ghosts inside my head? The fountain pen, accustomed to my woe? The paper, still awaiting inkwell's thread? The pen: no door within to human minds,
Have you ever thought? The girl you called fat today in the hallway. She is starving herself. Even though her ribs show and she cans see the bones in her arms. She starves herself.
I lost myself a while ago I lost myself because I lost all hope. Still, slowly, I try and stand Though I fall and fall, I will never land Because in the depths of my heart I know I can do this
Time is the wind in this storm A storm for both my body and mind My life is frozen, but time still runs Unliving, but faithful Unconscious, but consistent
Shingles she had accounted sitting for twenty-five Holding onto nothing while her ornaments eat the dust Frost-bitten frigid air whistling on the field Storm-beaten rails singing water-songs -
Do you not see your hurting her from the inside out That soon tears that wish to rain become a sullen drought Misery from the mornings start Till night when the sun departs No wounds visible for the eye to see
At the age of 1, I couldn't remember much. I just knew, that when I turned 5 I had to be tough. I told the teachers,I swear I did I told them everytime I got hit in the head.
Sleeping deeply, always lightly Never sweetly but always nightly. Nightmares haunt me taunting softly Leaking deeply into my reality. Was it a dream or was it real? These wicked thoughts are out to drown me,
I fled crime scene no turning back not even glance Remembering myself when given a second chance My body, mind and soul was laid out on the floor Then I realized this is not exactly what I wished for
I didn’t come here to script up a silly rhyme, Putting together letters of the alphabet and creating a story produced on my own time. I came to speak you a lullaby with all the fixings of my broken past I was a little girl.
What's real? The tree coming through the walls? The hand reached out towards me? Or are they all in my head? I've never felt so alone even though the children want me to play.
I needed a friend... Someone Who would always be there for me Comfort To keep me safe and secure Courage To do what I wanted to with my life Happiness That my body could not contain ...
My doctor told me that I'm too high Soaring in the Sky Need to fall back down to earth Shit that hurt So he said we need to increase your dosage 3 doses, 1 plus 2 Shit that made me mad at you
You hold my tired hand Your bright eyes crinkle into that widespread smile Your thumb traces the tired lines of my palm I do not know what our future holds After all, we're seventeen
I always die a little In Fall I guess The autumn breezes Just whisk away My fragile hopes And my broken dreams And carry them someplace Far away And I am left With the fears
Recovery is a process and not an event It's a struggle not to win but to find some common sense We're stuck in a world where failure is wrong Well, failure is a puzzle piece that completes our song
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